Well where do I start? No confidence, reserved, nervous, anxious, impatient....that pretty much sums up my game.

This is the first time I have joined a public forum, or have even looked for advice, tips and tricks to improve, and get my game going.

My names Chris, I live in New Mexico, originally from California. I am 24 and have not had a girlfriend since middle school, and have not had any girl action in about 2 years.

I used to be a very athletic and active kid up until I was about 13. I started to put on weight and stopped playing sports and got into video games. I got up to about 300lbs (5'10) and have jumped on and off diets, losing weight just to gain it right back. I hurt my back at the beginning of 2011(very minor) at work, and had an X-Ray done. Doctor found small amounts of arthritis build up in my spine, which he told me was due to my poor posture, and obesity. I finally kicked it into gear, and on April 4th started a healthy way of life. After 3 weeks in of dieting, I finally convinced myself it was ok to jump on the scale, and came in at 289.

Since then I have gotten down to 208, and have seriously changed my life around, and am still going at it. I finally got everything where I want it, except my sex life.

My mom has always given me a hard time about my weight, and I think that seriously has impacted my confidence around women. I have a hard time making eye contact, opening up a conversation, etc. Around other friends, I am the life of the party, I am the comedian of the group, laid back and all my friends enjoy being around me, even the girls. I just can't get that vibe going with new women.

Every-time I see a girl that is a contender, I over think the situation, she walks right by and no words are said. No eye contact...nothing. I just stand there looking like a loser. In the back of my mind I am thinking of 1) my weight and appearance. 2)What to say and 3)Getting shot down.

I always dress nicer than most of the people I am around, nice jeans, shoes and a nice button up shirt. I wear expensive cologne in moderate amounts and keep up with my personal hygiene and spend a good amount time making myself presentable. However I have zero game.

Just this weekend I went out to a nicer club(dress code) for a friends Bday party. She is a very cute girl, and I am very good friends with her husband. All night we(the guys) stood off in the corner in-front of the bar, just shootin' the shit while the girls were on the floor dancing. I watched a good 15-20 girls that I 'wanted' to talk to, but ended up just standing there like a loser. About 20 mins before closing time, I tried opening up a set....only after I had already walked by them(2 girls at the bar), came back, and then asked them If there was something about me that made me appear like a drug dealer. I was ignored, no eye contact was made, their body language told me they weren't interested, and I closed and walked away.

I need help, don't know where to start, but I think joining this site could be the start of something good.

-Chris

Your low self-confidence is killing you.

It's a rut that's hard to get out of, but there's good news on the flip side of that coin... High self-confidence is a hard rut to get out of too.

You've lost a hundred fucking pounds man. You saw an obstacle and smashed through it. Doing that builds character. This is just another obstacle.

I tell friends of mine that have shown really, really bad AA to do one simple thing. When out and about, when you see an attractive woman walking toward you or is facing you (can see you peripherally), I want you to give her a genuine, warm smile, and do not take your eyes off her until she looks up. 9 times out of 10, she'll smile back. Even if she doesn't, maintain that eye contact and smile for a few seconds but definitely maintain it if she does.

Keep doing this (not to the same girl, silly) until you get the confidence to say hi. Once you can do that, stop and talk for a bit. You're already walking somewhere, so you've got your time constraint in place, and just say hi. If you're feeling frisky, ask if she'd like to grab some coffee sometime. (Yes, this sounds AFC, but it's a pretty safe approach for day-game and I use it to this day successfully.)

For someone such as yourself, who overcomes huge roadblocks just because you want to (like losing 100 pounds), the sky is the limit. In fact, I really don't see this exercise taking you more than a couple of days.

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Dropping this weight off has been a huge obstacle that I have dealt with for a long time. This has been one of my major reasons why I think my confidence has been down so low.

I appreciate the response, and I will start this exercise immediately. This seems pretty straight forward and I feel I shouldn't have a problem with this.

Should I just report my results/experiences in this thread?