I am 37, and still naive about women and relationship. I have had few successes here and there, and few relationships, but it always seems random, inconsistent and mostly frustrating. There have been periods where I was not having sex for more than a year, and few others where I ended up sleeping with two different women within 24 hours. At least one thing that has gotten better lately is that I know more or less what I want. I am not interested in one night stands, booty calls, sarging tens of girls per night, become a PUA, etc....Not that anything is wrong with that attitude, I have tried it a bit myself, read some PUA books, did this and that opener...with some moderate success, but it just didnt click with my personality. I don't drink, I don't like to stay up late, I am very busy with work, running, yoga, friends... I just currently believe that sex is something beautiful that should be made when there is a deep connection with another person or used as a vehicle for getting into connection with someone that you dont know so well. I want to explore tantra, male multiple orgasms, etc.. with one or very few partners than get the chance to sleep with a different HB10 every other day. Please don't take that as being judgemental towards the PUA community, I am just stating what I am seeking right now, so kudos to all the dedicated guys who are sarging 5 days a week and perfecting their game, I salute you!

A little bit more about me. I am very social, have a great job with good pay, very active, into marathons and hot yoga (just registered for yoga teacher training in the fall!), happy with my work and friends, moderately good looking, have no problem talking to strangers, a good social circle through which I meet several women regularly ....so all seems to be great, why are you here? You may ask... mainly confidence when it comes to closing, specially kissing a girl for the first time and setting the direction of the relationship in the right way. So most of the time it ends up something like this: go on a date with a girl, hesitate to kiss, and think later that I have missed the chance and she already knows that I am a pussy, not contact her again...or...go on a date, try to kiss her kamikazi style, with no touching, no prelude, etc, gets blown, do not contact her again..or..go on a date, hesitate, another date, and another one, and end up being friends...or go on a date, don't like the girl that much, but keep her around cause it feels better than being alone, right? even though you know she is into you, then a year later, kiss her when you are feeling really lonely, and then immediately back out and tell her that was a mistake and you should be just friends, and break her heart...or just keep meeting that cute girl in the same social circle again and again and again and never ask her out...shall I continue?

I have had some issues with porn addiction, and ED issues related to that (not being able to get aroused when with real person but only with porn), and low self image when it comes to penis size, etc...I am dealing with those pretty well, and currently on a no porn, no masturbation challenge (almost a month, and I plan to continue with no porn for as long as I can, while the no masturbation is just a temporary goal)... I think it is time now to clean up my other acts when it comes to taking the opportunities that keep coming my way and I keep blowing. And I think with your help, it will not be long before I start handling that!:-) ... I will start posting specific cases and questions in other posts.

Look forward for your tips!:-)

All I can say is to not knock the learning curve. It's important, in the long-run to KNOW you can pick up women if/when you need to. It builds an abundance mentality (which is important for maintaining healthy long-term relationships). Unfortunately, this means you should flirt with a lot of women, go on a lot of dates (at least until you learn this stuff). Bear in mind that you don't have to sleep with / be monogamous with every girl you flirt with or invite on a date. You're main purpose is to gain confidence and build up a skill-set that you can depend on.

Now, I'm not saying you need to stay out late drinking every night or do day game. However, if you're not going to do that, then you should at least be on OkCupid and PoF lining up dates for yourself. You should also be doing as many social activities as you can (learning to dance is a great one - blues, salsa, tengo, swing - take your pick) and meeting people via your social networks.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Thanks a lot Wolf! I agree with you, in every thing experience and having choices helps! And that is why I registered here, to share my experiences and also learn about others. I wrote what I wrote also mainly for my own sake to pin down what I want, and something I can always look back at whenever I seem to be confused on what I want

Now let the learning start!:-)