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Alright so here it goes, I tried to condense it as much as possible, it's still a good read. :S
When we last talked, everything was going well between her and I. Maybe a week or two in, we started getting into arguments. Things that shouldn't have even made it to an argument.
1 - She got upset with me cause I said something dumb, told me that she can still see the immaturity in me, and based on her experiences in dating, she knows that we won't work long term. I got upset with her, told her she's just setting me up to lose, why not give things a chance? Told her that we had a good night, I didn't want to end it on a bad note, so I was going to leave and let her cool off. She got upset over that! Said if I just plan on running away from issues between us, then she's not going to go through with "us" anymore. I just left..
After that, we hung out more, learned each other more. Things started flowing pretty smooth again. We finally made things official on my Birthday. The following Tuesday after that, drama lol..
Some guy who's had a thing for her (she knows, cause he's approached her before) and knew that her and I were talking (saw us together, even asked her acquaintance about us). So this guy..lol...tries to move in on her when I left her to go workout. I come back and she told me. I lost it. I got pretty upset, but kept my cool. But she could see the anger in my eyes. I didnt talk to her, I was supposed to go to her house and get intimate, I just blew her off and left the gym.
The reason I was upset with her is because she knows he has a thing for her, and dude was trying me by trying to make a move on my girl. So I told her, she pretty much let him try me. She claimed she didn't know he still had a thing for her, and that she didn't want to be a bitch about it, so she nicely got her point across that she wasn't really interested. I told her that with guys like him, she needs to just be straight up, and let them know she has a boyfriend, she's not interested...she just was not understanding me.
She calls me asking me where I went, I told her I left the gym. She asked if I was upset, and I told her I wasn't upset but disappointed in her for entertaining that creeps ideas, and that she should've just ended it there instead of not even letting him know there..now he's gonna come back and talk to her again. She told me I was being immature, we started arguing, she hung up the phone on me. When I got home, I sent her a text and told her she was trippin'.
She called me, and said we needed to talk. She said that she wants to take a step back, and not label things. Learn each other more, and still be cool and hang out, but not label things. After that, things got better. Things were smooth as butter, once again. She opened up to me, told me that the night I was upset, she got scared..because her ex boyfriend used to physically beat her, and that the look he used to get in his eyes is the same one I had. I assured her I'd never hit a woman in my life, and I would never want to cause her any pain.
Time goes by, everything is normal. Then the third fight comes around.
We were laid up on the couch, just chillin, spooning. She started talking about her past...She used to live in the hood, I mean like, straight up hood, ghetto, in New York. Flatbush, Brooklyn to be precise. So she started telling me stories about how her homegirl who she lived with was a slut, and every night she'd have a different guy over. And how cats would try to pick my girl up...how her boyfriend was in a opposing gang than the one on her block, and she had to walk him to her apartment so he wouldn't get shot.
I mean, you can imagine the look on my face now. This girl that I like, used to be a hood rat...maybe not a hood rat, but shit, we all know how girls from the Hood are, and how they get down. So I stopped her. I told her I didn't want to hear anymore. What did she do?
She got upset. Asked why. I told her her past isn't a concern of mine, I'm more focused on the now. She kept pressing and pressing it. I tried to tell her that I didn't want to think of her in that kind of light, some girl from the hood. She told me I was being mad immature, and in denial about the person she is. I told her it really wasn't that serious, and that ok, she had a crazy past, whatever, let's look forward. Then she told me that it was "bitchmade" of me to say such things. That's when I got pissed. I told her she straight disrespected me, and that she can never let things go. When I don't want to talk about something, she always pushes it and then we fight.
I told her I was leaving and she followed me to the door still talking and I kept cutting her off, told her I didn't care. She got pissed and kicked me out of her house. On the drive home I sent her a text saying that it's over, I don't want anything to do with her, let's go our seperate ways. She tried to save the relationship, so I talked with her, but really she just wanted to get the last word in and say "let's just be friends".
The following day I shot her a text, told her I wanted to talk. She agreed. I ended up taking her on a random trip to Pembroke Gardens. We ate, had a couple Sangrias, and talked to each other, cleared things up. After that things went pretty smooth. We went back to her place, had some pretty good sex. Saw her the following Saturday, and then the Tuesday after that, everything was fine. She was all over me, telling me "You're the hottest babe!" and shit like that.
Then that's when she started becoming distant. She went from planning her weekends with me to not even contacting me. Our thanksgiving plans? She totally blew me off. I text her Wednesday, no reply. Cool, maybe she's busy. Next day, same deal. Next day, I text, no reply, so I called when I got off of work at 1 am, she picked up. Told me she was gonna call me when she got home. She did. (Fri after Thanksgiving).
She told me she's been really busy lately with work and school (finals). I asked her how her thanksgiving went, she told me went downtown. (So much for being busy huh?) I told her how come she's just been ignoring me. She replied with she's doing her. She said she wanted to be cool, not label things, didn't think it'd be an issue if she didn't contact me within a certain time frame. I said nah that's cool, I understand but I could see how indifferent she's become with me. She said that she's been really busy, and that she can't see herself growing with me. And that it takes like 6 months before she really considers a guy her boyfriend.
I mean, to me, it sounded like she was just making up excuses on the spot, for blowing me off. So I cut all the bullshit and asked her, if this is a distance yourself from me so I disappear or you're exploring other options thing, tell me, I'll understand. Her reply? "like I said I've been really busy"
So I ended the convo. Proceeded to get very very f'ed up with some friends, and sent her a couple text messages, telling her how I feel for her, and that I think we should give things a chance, work it out, etc etc... She replied a couple hours later with "I'm sorry but I'm going to repeat myself."
I didn't reply to the text message. That was Saturday after Thanksgiving. A week goes by, I don't hear from her, so I send her a text. No reply. A couple hours later, I send another one inviting her out to the club. She calls me an hour later trying to set up the club date that night, I told her had she answered sooner I would've been game, but I've got other plans. She sounded shocked and replies "Other plans? Yeah? What are you doing?"
I kept it ominous, said "nothing too crazy, going out with some friends".
That following Sunday, I hit her up, invite her for some Yogurt. She replies "I would looooooooooooooooooove some yogurt but it's cold outside :/"
I didn't reply.
Following week, which was last week, I hit her up on Wednesday, she's actually replying to things now. Told her let's go out Fri night, she replied "drive in with the drop top?" I told her cool but if its cold, we're going to Muvico then grabbing some Sangrias. She replied "Deal, I hope this isn't an excuse for me to dress hot lol jk" We text back and forth a couple times, that's it.
Thursday morning she sends me a text "It's soooooo New England out I love it!" I reply, she doesn't reply back for the whole day.
Friday, she calls me while I'm at work, I told her I'll call her back. I send her a text, she replies an hour later "Relaxing"..I call her on my 15, she picks up, I say hi, she says she'll call me back she's gonna catch up on some sleep.
I get off of work at 5:30 (mind you our date is at 7:30)..she texts me around 6 and it reads "Hey cutie, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it out tonight, I'm mad tired"
I reply "Yeah? Not even and on demand and chill?" (we used to do it all the time)
She didn't reply, so I called her, she didn't pick up, a couple minutes later she replies "Raincheck... I'm exhausted"
By now I'm pretty pissed, like wow, she's been blowing me off, and flakes on our date @ the last minute, THEN tells me to get a raincheck.
so I replied "Raincheck? Sorry, that's not my style. You have my # so you know what to do, if not, it is what it is"
I figured this way, I'll let her know that this whole cat and mouse shit is not my game anymore. If she wants to hang out, she can call me.
She replied "Lmao..ok"
And that's that. That was Fri night, it's now Mon morning, not a word between either one of us. And I plan on keeping it that way. She needs to show some interest or I'm just going to move on.
Ontop of that, her friend, whom she told me really liked me, won't accept my friend request on Facebook. But she has me and the girl tagged in photos of when we were all at the club. There's one of her and I laughing, and one of her and I kissing.
What do you think?
Bare in mind, I'm no expert myself!
How old is she? She seemed to be the one hiding away from reality. As for the liking from the other guy, I would have dealt with things the same, although many people wouldn't, they'd say it seems needy etc, but at times, especially in a relationship, markers need to be laid down, which you did.
I think she's interested in you, or maybe she's interested in what you are upto, maybe she genuinely wants to take things slow or not at all, but she seems that she don't want you with anyone which is bullshit.
After all the drama that's occurred, is this what you want? I was in a similar thing not long back, in terms of relationship and communication breakdown, and really, it's not worth it.
Sure you care, it's evident, but things like this make you stronger in the future..
Her respect, seems on and off, which is also shit, it should be mutual and be in place 9/10 times.
She seems like she just wants to enjoy life, and have nothing serious, are you prepared for this? It seems not, seems you want her, but if I were you, I'd take a step back, be stubborn and see if she responds and gets in touch now, send no messages.
In the mean time, get on with life as best as possible and try talk to new people.
Chel
CHAT
