Ok. I really wanna make this newly found interest of picking up woman work. To do that I need to take baby steps...because the thought of picking up woman is terrifying to me and truth is I probably wouldn't be that bad at it...

Here's my situation. Im a security guard at a store. I stand there in a suit at the entrance. My peacock is this fuzzy hat I wear to add flare to my suit. I look interesting but when girls talk to me, I appear not to be. I have no idea where anything is so typical reactions throught out my day go EXACTLY like this....

Girl Customer: (walks into the store and see's me) Hi, do you know where _____ is?

Me: (A little caught off guard and nervous) Uhm....I'm not to sure where ______ is but any of those guys can help you (points to another direction)...

(The girl then usually walks off. If I'm lucky I'll get a thank you, and get to finish my sentence...but most the time they walk a way.

Another average conversation goes like this....

(Woman walking out store with bag)

Me: (sounding unsure) excuse me can i check your receipt?

Woman: (SOMETIMES in a friendly tone) SURE.....(or theyll just snobiishly hand me the thing)...

So my question is what are some openers or anything witty or clever I can do to answer my daily questions or attract woman while on my shift. I get enough heads turning standing in a suit, but I need advice on things to say/what to do whether its with the customers that come in or some of the cute employees that work there. advice is appreciated. THANKS.

_________________
My problem:

I need to release the inner me with out booze