| I’ve been on the boards for a while so I guess it’s time I introduced myself. I’ll be as forthright as I can so anyone who may be able to relate, and has taken the interest to read this can at least hopefully feel their time wasn’t wasted.
I am currently in my mid-forties so I am probably older than most of the people on these boards. I am 5’10” (1.78m) tall and currently weigh 342lbs. (155.13kg). I have had a number of relationships in my life, but most of them were not with women I would have pursued if I knew how.
My parents divorced when I was 13, both extremely passionate people they either fought or made love with very little peace in between. They eventually both just got tired of the emotional roller-coaster; though they still loved each other they realized they couldn’t live with each other.
I met my first girlfriend when I was 15. She was a couple of years older than me. On St. Valentine's day in ’79 we arranged to meet to exchange gifts, but on the way to the meet she was attacked, raped, and seriously injured. I did manage to find her, and be with her when she died. In one way or another it has affected every relationship I’ve ever been in, and though it took me a while to recover I eventually did, well more or less. I moved to live with my mother, and even had a couple more girlfriends while in high school.
I went to a Military college, because I knew if I went to regular college I’d probably just party my tuition away. It was great while it lasted, and I was quite the player for a while. Girls do love a man in uniform, and the experience was great for my inner game. Not that I had a clue what that meant back then, or even a couple of years ago. My experiences in college were playfully sexual, but little more than that, though I remained friends with all of them. I left college early though as my family was having trouble making ends meet, so I went to work to help out.
Between then and before I learned about the community I only dated a few times, I partied through my twenties. Mostly having one night stands, which were few and far between. I have managed to remain friends with most of the women I’ve slept with though most have long since moved away. The last relationship I had lasted for two years, and ended badly. I was 34 then. Looking at my life I realized by the time I met someone I could marry and have children with, I’d be in my 50’s by the time they graduated high school. The thought of it was so depressing I just shut down and gave up. I put on weight, a lot of weight.
A few years ago a good friend of mine decided I needed to get out and party for my 40th birthday. I knew my family and friends were going to throw one of those oh-so-tacky over-the-hill parties, so I exercised a little veto power of my own. We went out to a local club, and bought each other lap-dances ‘til we’d had enough fun. The next day we drove up to Charlotte, NC and went out on the town that night as well. The next morning we went to Carowinds and rode all the roller-coasters, and had a blast. We talked at length, and I learned a lot from him. I really needed something like that to break me out of my funk and get on with living.
Since then I’ve been on a pretty strong self-improvement kick. I’ve lost over 50 pounds since then and still have a long way to go. One day I was sorting through my email and dumping the spam. One of them happened to be from David D. I guess I deleted those emails for almost two years before I opened one and read it. I continued to delete them for another six months, but I read parts of them every now and then until one day I decided to buy his DYD eBook. I’ve been learning ever since, though most of what I’ve been learning is inner game. I had and still deal with some of my issues to this day, and even while I know they are just excuses they are difficult to shake.
Thanx
_________________
Artax
Devil's Advocate
"You're only as young as the women you feel."
"I am the Master of my unspoken words, and the Slave to those words that should have remained unsaid."
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CHAT
