I've always had good success with girls, but since I've been in a relationship for over 2 years, I never pursued it passed the point of me knowing I could have them (for the most part . My liver is withering, and my lungs are not so pink anymore, but the fucking heart stands god damn it! Anyways, a buddy put me onto this "society" and I then bought "the game" by Neil and I've been intrigued to say the least. I want to chase some high scores, but I'm still in a relationship. I don't want to trash it but at the same time I don't want the guilt mind fucking me. The way I look at it is that if I don't fuck, I technically did no evil. I mean is there something wrong with trying to find out what you can get if you weren't in a relationship? Opinions guys?
-Archipelago

I'm doing that now, my friend.

I've been in a relationship for a year and a half.
And I decided to make a pledge to myself to not lose these skills.
I worked on them for too long to lose them during a relationship.

So far all my intents are just working on cold approaches, getting numbers.
Mostly I won't call, maybe very I'll rarely follow through.
I can't be the guy I used to be, cause I'm in a long-term relationship.
But I will test the skills as much as I can.
Keep myself fresh.

_________________
You can learn and learn and learn all you want... but until you go out and use it, it doesn't mean a thing.

in the game by Neil he talks about i think him and Mystery, maybe just Mystery being in a relationship and still sarging. They sarge for the fun, the rush and the skill set. They have no need to actually pickup girls but I'm sure it's quite a feeling being able to number-close with a chick (What's that called again? not k close or f close? d-close? I dunno.

I say do it, man.

Its something I used to do before making sales visits. I'd always take public transportation to an initial meeting or one I was feeling nervous about, and make it a rule to talk to a random chick and get her number. I was in a relationship at the time so I'd erase the number from my phone shortly there after, but really it was just to a little 'warm up' before the meeting.

arch,

i was doin' same thing for about 6 months myself man, until i finally broke off my year long relationship. its not easy goin out with your boys and watchin them go home with women while you crash on the couch watchin latenight infomercials, but like you said...its the guilt mindfucking you that sucks. if you really love the girl, then don't ever take it any further than a number close, and if you do, you better put that shit in your cell phone quick (paper trails=trouble). in addition, i would not give out your number because that makes for an awkward explanation later on when u get a random call with your girl nearby. my main question here is are you happy? i asked myself that question, and found that I'd rather be out sarging and not worrying about my guilty conscious. it makes for a much less stressful evening. so just ask yourself how serious/important the relationship is to you, and go from there. if it is important, then keep sarging, but do it with caution. if its not too important, then do whatever it takes to make you happy. my last suggestion is if you dont know if you want the relationship, tell her you want a break, and get back out there and sarge your ass off. if that makes you happier than the relationship or vice versa, then you have your answer. good luck holmes.

-Suspect

_________________

Why don't you establish your reality into your relationship?

I'm not trying to tell you to ruin a good thing but if you're really interested in sarging and REALLY learning the techniques, get your girl to respect the fact that you have other needs.

One of the biggest aspects of the game is your ability to design life the way you want it. You set the rules. You determine what is acceptable in your life. I'm not preaching from a position of strength here brother. I'm still fully engaged in learning game (inner and outer). But if you're in a relationship that restricts you (and maybe I'm not reading your situation correctly) how can you truly portray that you're the leader of your tribe?

If you're gonna take HBhitman's advice, your best bet is probably to sarge the fuck out of your girlfriend to build as much attraction as you possibly can before telling her that you want to be open. This does double duty both making it more likely that your girlfriend will be accepting of your new lifestyle, as well as honing your skills for the field.

well I think these skills are probably what got you to where you are now. as the book says, these skills aren't just for picking up women. it's a much bigger thing than that. you can use these skills at work, school, for friendships, heck i've used material to get a discount on a haircut. Hahahaha. AND I'M JUST STARTING OUT. the only difference with me, is I didn't really have a problem talking, but the structure of all these systems expresses the value in people knowing you.

this is just a tool. if you find the right way, you can use it for almost any situation in which you need to influence someone else.

You can still talk to girls and stuff, just don't do anything sexual. I mean, if you've committed to an exclusive relationship, then you should honour that. However, if you've left it as an 'open relationship', this is a better arrangment as it allows you to sarge other girls AND get sexual with them.

Go for it dude its worth it to stay socially calibrated because you know your girl gets approached all the f'n time. Why should she keep her social skills while yours just wither away?

whoa perfect point there shantera.

This thread is RIGHT up my street.

Game is much more than picking up. Politicians, sales, adverts... it's a force in life.

Being in a relationship it doesn't stop. But, of course, it changes. The principle difference is that although the same things happen, they happen in a familiar setting, so you don't have the variety of personality. This could mean that you run that thing that worked so well with your girl on someone new, and it doesn't work. - it doesn't work because you've been out of contact with multiple new people - it's then you realise you're out of touch.

However, like I say, it's important that game happens in a relationship.
But it's also true that it's not the same.

How do we deal with this

I have met a FANTASTIC bird. So fantastic in fact, that I don't want for anything else right now in that department.
Yet, I still want game. Why? Does it mean I'm not happy? Not at all!
I just want to continue learning. A challenge. For want of a better phrase; `Find myself`. I want to better myself.
In particular, people who know me, love me, but only when I'm in the mode do strangers like me too. I want the skill to communicate who I am.

Do I have to give up my bird for this pursuit? I feel the need to go on some kind of quest.

I sometimes go out with my girl. She still enjoys herself out on the town. But not me. A good night to me means a good flirt. So there I am, she can dance, while I choose not to flirt. A problem.

I have been thinking hard about how to address this problem.
Here are some tactics I have been considering.

- I need to develop a social scene of my own like I used to have, separate to relationship life. I love spending time with my girl but I'm free while she is at work. The next thing to figure out is, how do I socialise during the day? Can day game be a partial answer? I can only try, but it doesn't feel right doing day cold approaches - how can that be socially acceptable?

- To operate within social acceptability clubs could be an idea. Any activities I can find to do during the day where it's not the public is what I want. I need an interest where things happen during the day, rather than in the evenings

- Talk to my woman. She is a fantastic woman and very socialable. If I get the attitide right from the outset she will understand. I could imagine her enjoying watching me pull, but all the while knowing she's going home with me. But the risks are obvious. If I get blown out, that will blow into the relationship, but vice-versa too. This can only be a partial answer. It is possible to socialise more with a lover, but not to study, as this would be DLV, highlighting flaws. Perhaps I am wrong though? Perhaps it can be attractive to see someone learn?

- I also note that some guys do it by gaming at work. Sadly, not an option for me as I don't work with women, but it's an important point to note

More and more guys have been mentioning this situation. What we need is a way to train in a socially acceptable way.