OK...SO HERE IT IS.

ITS LIKE GOD WANTED ME TO READ IT. COMING OUT OF MY UNDERGROUND PARKING GARAGE OF MY CONDO AND THERE IT IS. BLOCKING MY DRIVE OUT WITH THE STREETLAMP SHINING DOWN ON IT LIKE GOD HIMSELF SENT IT FOR ME. I PULL UP NEXT TO IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT IS OPEN MY DOOR TO MY NEW BMW AND SEE WHAT LOOKS LIKE A BIBLE FACE DOWN ON THE PAVEMENT. I PICK IT UP, TURN IT OVER AND READ THE TITLE " THE GAME...PENTETRATING THE SECRET SOCIETY OF PICK UP ARTISTS"....GOT MY ATTENTION! I TURN AROUND AND GO RIGHT BACK UNDERGROUND IGNORING MY PLANS WITH THE BOYS FOR THE NIGHT WHICH IS USUALLY FILLED WITH WHISTLING AT GIRLS AND YELLING OUT THE WINDOW OF WOMEN ON THE STREET.(NEITHER OF WHICH HAS EVER GOT ME ANY PUSSY OR EVEN A PHONE NUMBER FOR THAT MATTER, HOWEVER AS A TYPICAL AFC I KEEP DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT....BRILLIANT WE ARE) SO ITS LIKE 11PM AT NIGHT IM BACK UPSTAIRS NOW PEELING BACK THE FIRST FEW PAGES OF THIS BIBLE LIKE BOOK WHICH SEEMS FITTING NOW THAT IVE READ IT. I TEAR THROUGH THIS BOOK LIKE ITS THE LAST SUPPER AND 4 HOURS LATER ALL 560 ODD PAGES ARE DONE! ONE NIGHT COVER TO COVER NOT EVEN A BREAK CAUSE I TOOK WITH ME TO THE SHITTER. AND NOW I FEEL DUMBER THAN SHIT. ALL THOSE PICK UP MOVES I THOUGHT I HAD MY EYE FLIRTATION MOVE WHICH USUALLY INVOLVES ME STARING AT SOME CHICK TRYING TO MENTALLY CONVEY TO HER THAT I WANT TO FUCK HER, AND HER LOOKING AT ME LIKE I AM OUT OF MIND OR SOME SICK FUCK WHICH I PROBABLY AM.....GONE! JUST LIKE THAT! I CLEARED ALL CACHE IN MY MENTAL HARDDRIVE AND WAS READY TO START FROM SCRATCH. IT LIKE LEARNING TO WALK AGAIN AT THE AGE OF 30. SO I DECIDED WITH MY NEW FOUND FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE THAT I NEED TO TEST THIS SHIT OUT. FIRST GIRL I TRY IT ON IS EATING OUT MY HAND AND MELTING LIKE ICE CREAM IN BAGDAD. SHIT! I IMPRESSED MYSELF! DIDNT WANT TO TAKE IT TOO FAR CAUSE IT ALSO SCARED THE SHIT OUT ME. NEXT GIRL IS IN MY OFFICE. GROUP SETTING 2 UGLY RECEPTIONISTS AND HER MY TARGET. SARGE THE SET, NEG THE SHIT OUT THE TARGET WITH MY FAVOURITE NEG OF ALL...QUIETLY WISPER IN HER EAR AFTER ABOUT 5 MINS OF TALKING TO THE GROUP...."I DIDNT WANT TO SAY THIS TOO LOUDLY BUT YOU GOT A BOOGER HANGING OUT OF YOUR NOSE" @!#@$%^ SHE FLIPS COVERS HER NOSE AND RUNS. (NOT MY INTENTION) THANKFULLY SHE RETURNS "BOOGERLESS" AND NOW SHES LOOKING AT ME LIKE WTF BUDDY? STILL CHATTING UP FATTY AND FATTER AND SAYING HOW MUCH I LOVE WHAT THEYRE WEARING (THRIFT STORE SPECIALS PROBABLY) AND LITTLE MISS HOTTY GETS ALL THE ATTENTION IS DUMBFOUNDED. FINALLY IM LIKE SORRY I HOPE I DIDNT EMBARESS YOU. SHE WAS SPEECHLESS, SO I SUGGESTED SHE TAKE ME OUT FOR LUNCH SO WE CAN GET OVER IT. SHE AGREES AND OFF WE GO LEAVING MINIVAN#1 AND MINIVAN#2 STANDING AT THE RECEPTION DESK. IN THE CAR I BREAK RIGHT INTO A COLD READ OF HOW SHE NEEDS MENS APPROVAL AND ATTENTION BECAUSE OF HER LACK OF A MALE ROLE MODEL IN HER LIFE AND SHE STARTS LEANING INTO ME AND TOUCHING ME GOING " HOW...HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS. I FEEL LIKE YOU REALLY KNOW ME" IM THINKING TO MYSELF IT CANT BE THIS EASY.....BUT IT IS. 3 IOI'S AND SHES PRIMED AND READY. " I THINK YOU WANT TO KISS ME" I SAY. SHE SMILES BLUSHES AND SAYS THAT WE WORK TOGETHER. BACKING OFF I REPLY " YA ITS BETTER THAT WE DONT I DONT WANT PEOPLE AT THE OFFICE TO THINK IM EASY". SHE CONVICES ME SHE WILL NEVER TELL ANYONE IF SHE CAN HAVE JUST ONE KISS. PRETENDING TO BE APPREHENSIVE AND UNSURE AND LET HER. THEN SHE BLEW ME IN THE CAR AND WE BOTH WENT BACK TO THE OFFICE HAPPY. WHAT A GREAT BOOK

My eyes hurt.

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Note to self: Reffering to Chief by something other than his name has the knock on effect of strolling into the chat room and being asked; 'Crumpetberry are you a single hippie looking for a man'

YA SORRY GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT FORGOT TO SPACE OR INDENT OR TAKE CAPS OFF.

i think you got caught up in the moment again...