| It's nice to see so many of you focus on life goals, self-improvement, "inner-game", confidence, etc . . . but this is a pick up forum . . . and the actual act of meeting and befriending people is not at all complicated and it does not have to be. And yes, over time, everybody will develop their communication skills but it helps to begin with an organized framework. . . just a basic formula for which you to plug in your own personality. And this is just a bare bones simplified version of the way I've done it. I'm sure some of you smart kids have suggestions of your own.
*Other than the "open", it's not always chronologically linear but it is the general order of things:
I. Open.
If you've been hanging around this forum, you already know this. Find a way to engage the other person.
II. Have no Fear! (Not you, her. . . )
You're a good guy, but how does she know this? You could be a murderer, rapist, or a dog beater. You probably already instinctively quell fears without realizing why/how you do it. For instance, you meet somebody from x town or y school and what's the first thing you do? "Hey, do you know _____?". . . "Have you heard of ______?" You want people to be accountable. You want to anchor the person you just met with familiarity. Business people do this all the time; the first time people meet in a business meeting they talk about people they've known in the industry . . . the projects they've done. . . or even the breakfast they've had at some random hotel. It's important to note that the hack does this out of his own insecurities while the professional does this to make the person sitting across from him more comfortable.
If you know the same person/people, great. . . and it doesn't even have to be a strong connection. If you've been to the same bar,club,restaurant,store, etc . . . you know something about some employee. Familiar music, familiar places in the World. . . it's endless. If you are aware of this dynamic and you actively work to remove "fear", then you'll learn to recognize the moment you earn her trust. Then it's off to:
II. Let's Hang Out.
Let's start off with a simple tip. If she asks you what you do for work, she wants to fuck you. If you are not even on the radar, she wouldn't bother. She asks what you do for work so that in the morning, she could text her buddy, "I fucked a ______." So don't take it personally but keep it short regardless of whether you tell her that you're a doctor or a street sweeper. Nobody goes out to bar or club to actually talk about work. She just wants some "show-off" material. So start chatting about fun shit. Places around the World . . . holidays . . . adventures. . . you don't know any fun shit? Well, that sucks.
III. The Funnel.
The idea is to narrow the macro, fantasy topics discussed above to tangible and accessible activities that you and the person you just met can share together. The idea is to carry the excitement she had for "fantasy adventures" and bridge that excitement it to accessible activities that can be done right here at home, right now. And you do this the moment you get a positive response for any topic. For example:
You: "The best baguette I ever had was in Saigon, not Paris."
Her: "blah, blah, blah" - Doesn't matter what she says as long as it's not, "Get the fuck away from me you stupid mother fucker."
You: "Seriously, this lady baked her own bread in an oven on wheels the size of cardboard box. Served up a pate' and hand dripped her coffee. A movable feast."
Her: "Oh my God, that's so cool." - Positive response to fantasy topic.
You: "Oh, there's this Vietnamese place on ____ st. that bakes their own baguettes." - Bridge to accessible activity.
Her: "Are you kidding? That sounds amazing." - Positive response for accessible activity. (Which essentially means, "ask me out dummy.")
IV. Don't Tell the Story, Show it.
In the above scenario, there's little more to do than to flip out your phone and ask her to punch her number in but there's some work left. She's hot, I get it. You want to bang her, she can already sense it . . . because why else would you approach her? So chill out with the ,"You are this, you are that. You're really hot!" . . . and, "I want this, I want that. I want to take you out. I want to continue this conversation later. I want to hang out with you." - Let's take the hormones out of the equation and allow me to demonstrate to you how ridiculous ^this actually sounds.
Imagine you are in a 20 minute business meeting and a potential partner tells you, "You're such a great business man. Oh you have a great reputation. You make so much money. I definitely want to work with you. I want to be your partner. I want to meet with you tomorrow for lunch." - Yes, this is EXACTLY the way you sound. If the potential partner really wanted to work with you, wouldn't he be busy demonstrating the partnership? He'd excite you with the benefits and the ease of the partnership. He'd talk about the actual work and profits involved as if the "partnership" was already a done deal. If you understand this, then I think you'd understand why, "This will give me an opportunity to show off my fluent Vietnamese."(whether you speak it or not) is a better option than, "I want to take you to eat baguettes."
V. Seal the Deal with a Hook.
I probably wrote this little analogy a hundred times in this forum: You don't catch a kitty by chasing it around all over the place. If you want the kitty to sit on your lap, you set out warm bowl of milk by your feet and then read the fucking paper. So the idea isn't to "push" for times and dates and contracts. You're a guy. You want a sure thing. You want her to tell you, "Yes I will meet you at 7pm tomorrow and then after the date, I will offer oral services." And since this silly fantasy is the goal, guys will sit there and prod, prod, prod for it. Just set the warm bowl of milk and wait. You already reduced all her fears, you already got her excited, you already have a connection. Bait the hook and let it unfold.
**Getting a phone number, getting a date, getting a ONS . . . it's all pretty much the same thing with different outcomes. Destroy her fears, get her excited, make a connection.
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