Sup guys,

So the question here is pretty straightforward and I wanted to see what other guys are doing to isolate a girl. Im not bad at opening big sets, but it always seems difficult or a bit weird if I just try to steal one girl from a huge group of others. Any insight and help on this question would be great!

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Rise up, rise up, rise up

Its not about how you fall...its about how you pick yourself up after you've fallen

nothing in this world thats worth having comes easy

Same here, it's one of my sticking points in large sets.

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

I'm thinking there's one word for it - Inner game.

If it's strong and tight, then your delivery shouldn't be too bad and you shouldn't feel all weird about saying it.

Basically... don't... not too soon anyway. It's unnecessary and counterproductive. Girls aren't going to feel comfortable being dragged away from their friends too soon and more importantly, their friends aren't going to be comfortable with some random dude taking her away to a dark corner. They'll run over and drag her onto the dance floor faster than you can say "have you ever had your palm read?." Instead, once you are accepted by the group and feel it's time to isolate her, step between your target and the rest of the set (basically with your back facing the group) and tell her that you want to talk to her more about something that you were previously talking about. That way, you are having a private conversation but you are still right there with everyone. She is not physically very far away from her friends and out of her comfort zone (which makes it so you are WAY less likely to get cockblocked by the friends) but the psychological space of being situated away from them is great enough for what you are trying to accomplish.

What's the scenario?

This is what I like doing: Take her hand, "let's go hit the dancefloor."

Or you could go Mystery Method and ignore and neg her while you run the set, then say "Hey I've been ignoring your friend. Mind if I borrow her for a minute? We'll be right over there." Point to a nearby place where you two can sit.

Or you could:
1. Win over her friends so they see that you're cool. (Notice how I didn't say "so they THINK you're cool" )
2. Game your target.
3. Lead her away while ignoring her friends. They'll let you do it if you've won them over.

Why do you need to seperate her from the group? You can isolate targets while remaining 4 inches away from her friends.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

huh?

If I'm imagining this scenario correctly, I think you mean basically turning your back to the rest of the group while you and the target are having a one-on-one interaction within your own little bubble... but still very close to the rest of the group.

The need for separating her from the rest of the group will mostly come from the target's social conditioning. Lance Mason of Pickup101 teaches that women don't want to put their attraction on public display. If they do, there will be a higher chance that they will regret feeling attraction for you.

Because of her social conditioning, you won't be able to close if you don't isolate to a distance since she won't want to make out with you, the new stranger guy, in front of all her friends. It's too risky for her reputation. The point of isolation is to decrease the pressure from this artificial social conditioning that holds her back from releasing her wilder side.

Even if the target would be completely willing to make out with you in front of all her friends, her friends may pull her away so that they can protect her reputation. Think about it. If everyone else in the venue sees a chick as a "slut" or whatever ridiculous socially programmed label they wish to slap on her face, what would they think of her friends? Birds of a feather flock together.

This is very narrow minded thinking that the community needs to get over. I make out with girls that are 4 inches from their friends without any problems, as do the people I teach and sarge with.

By believing that you must take them away from the group, you are believing that they aren't going to accept what is going on. Personally I know that they think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread and they are happy for their friend to hook up with such an amazing person that isn't a creep.

Also, by having to take her away, you anchor the feeling that it is something to hide and be ashamed of, as well as feeling self conscious about showing affection. She will have more chance of regret when you do this, because she is hesitant to admit it to her friends and thus herself. When she can comfortably do it so close to her friends, then she isn't going to feel dirty about it and feel as if she needs to hide it or forget it.

When you take her far away from her friends, then you have to worry about the feeling of wondering what they are up to, her wondering what they are thinking about you two being alone, what the friends actually ARE thinking about and whether they are gonna come try to take her back. If she is right there, then as long as she isn't indicating that she isn't having a good time and you have the rest of the set comfortable with you, then you don't have to worry about any of those things at all. She also feels safer, because she now isn't alone with some guy that, although he may be attractive, funny and all the other good traits you have made her feel, may still end up making a move she isn't comfortable with, holding her back from relaxing fully. When she is right beside her friends, she knows that if at any point she feels that things aren't going the way she likes, she can turn to them with ease.

The biggest thing I can say, is that you want HER to have her back turned to her group, not you. You want HER to not be looking at them, so that she knows in the back of her head that they are at hand, they are "out of sight and out of mind" consciously. You are still in full view of the set, unless they feel comfortable enough to turn their backs on you, which is a great sign, so they can make sure you aren't being a creep and unless they see the target protesting, they won't stop you from kissing her of anything else. They can see the both of you, but she doesn't see them, so everyone is in the most optimal positioning for being in the mindset you desire them to be in.

Give it a try and you'll be amazed.

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"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

That's awesome.

It's funny that you mention Lance Mason, because he actually teaches not to take girls away from the group. He isolates by turning his back to the group... although he also says not to make out with girls in the club.

...come to think of it... decarlo also teaches not to make out with girls in the club because it's part of the sexual escalation ramp and you don't want to start the ramp until you are in a location where you can f-close... I guess that's a whole other subject though.

I take the bits and pieces that I find useful for me as I go along. His concept of regretting attraction was the piece I wanted to fit into my argument.

I know that not one guru has ALL the answers.

I totally agree with Rye Lee.

When a girl joins back with her friends they are going to automatically assume something happened regardless if anything did or did not occur. Then she'll probably feel more guilt (if she is a classy girl).

From my standpoint it seems like when a guy removes the girl from the group his intentions aren't too good. He is purposely making her feel vulnerable so he can seduce her into bed.

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"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

good job rye. i remember i had a similar question awhile ago and you gave me the same answer and i do it all the time. works like a charm. keep up the good work!

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yours truly. fitzy

www.puacanada.ca JOIN NOW!!!

Hey, looks like you've already got some stellar advice from the big names, but I thought I'd just add my 10 cents. This is one of my favorites, don't use it all the time cause then it might become a crutch in your game, (at some point you'll have to become comfortable extracting a girl from the group despite your discomfort). This works with larger groups, common sense has lead me not to try it on small sets.
Tell the group your going to do a magic trick where you make someone in their group disappear, tell them to close their eyescount to 20 really slowly (if you've hooked into the group they'll listen). When they close their eyes, tap your target and without making to much noise run away from the group with her. If you play it right she'll be laughing her ass off watching her friends all standing their with their eyes closed. I've found it works well. Enjoy

Nice Rye! This is perfect for working sets in public places where it's near impossible to find a place semi-private. Appreciate the insight man.

Nine