I fucked up HB10 relationship. HELP

all_star · Last edited by all_star on Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:04 am; edited 1 time in total

So OK guys. This is my problem what just don't let me to live normal.
I got togeather with my dream girl (an 10+ in everything what counts for me) We have 3 classes togeather. We dont have the same frends in school. OK we started dating at the christmas holidays but whe the holidays were over we talked and kept our relationship in school like a seecret - WHAT WAS THE HUGEST MISTAKE. The first month everything was ok she was really in to me. But then we both just had very little free time and we begun to date only like unca a week. We saw each other only in school and there was this compleate coldness, no one elss knew anything about us well ok a few knew. Then after beeing togeather for 2,5 months we broke up. Just like that. After a date she just didnt answer the phone, was compleatly cold . I wrote her that thats not ok to do that shes driving me crazy and that I want her and if she dont wants me than I wont continue anything. She didnt answer ...
Now after 3 weeks we broke up I emaild her. She answered like - That what I did was stupid and wrong. But I felt like we have to brake up faster because later i would be harder. Youre grate and all... Its not your falt its mine blah blah blah

I know that it was my fault. One of the things what destroyed everything was the situation in school, the other that i didnt tell her what i felt about it and us. Ther was a problem too that I didn't feel good enaugh for her ...
But the bigest one was that I was afraid to risk ... cause I was too afraid to loose her.

Tomorrow school begins again after easter holidays and I will see her again.

So WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HER BACK. HOW TO TREAT HER IN SCHOOL JUST A SCENARIO WHAT YOU WOULD DO. PLEASE

Its just like nothing has a meaning anymore ... I feel so teribble that I've lose her and that it was my fault. But realy shes the onlything that counts for me. I have never felt something like that for a girl.

Geting a hot girl and get laid or opening a sets, getting to know new people isnt a big problem for me. But that is not what i want anymore im tired of just talking to a girl to get her in bed when the only interest i have in her is her looks ... I want a girl to love to share my feelings to do fun things togeather not just sex ... And She was just the one, its hard to explain ... but it was realy special for me.

cranberry sauce · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject:

i've been in this scenario before when i was in highschool...tore me apart. it was a confusing time. what i did was cold turkey the situation. don't do that, you'll regret it probably. just talk to her straight up, don't beat around the bush, but try not to look needy, cuz then she won't want you. Be confident and forward but not try hard. Idk thats all i can say.

all_star · Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject:

Ive tried to talk to her ... but she is so afraid of it, she just didnt want to.
When she wrote me the message : "Its not your fault its mine ..." I answered like this:

"A text just like form the book, you just forgt to write - but we can friends.
I remember when I was little. Me and my family were in an museum and there I just sa that one statue - she was just perfect, her figure proportions just beautiful - the godess Venera. But later when i went to another artwork and I got closer to venera I saw all these rips and huge cracks what she had, and i still can remember how dissapointed I was. And the statue is you ... a really beautifull person but damaged in a way what you only can see when you come to close. " (The text comes from Alfie Smile

)

I really got her with this. she answered:

"You did not get me know the half what you could, so dont bother and try to judge me. But right you are I am dameged and I even don know if cause the guy who damaged me i will be able to truly love someon."

To this I wrote in replay everything what i felt what i thaught that broke us up ... I told her everything what I wanted to say when we were still togeather an what i just couldnt say . But she didnt answer with anything to this ... dont know what shes thinking right now.

all_star · Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:28 pm Post subject:

Come on guys . Isnt there really no advice what you could give.

I know im being needy right now but ... that this situation is everything that cares for me !

Roads · Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject:

I give you what little compassion I have to spare for today.

Treasure what you had with her, and move on. This is something you'll have to work out, but I'm afraid the only advice you'll find on this site is to find another girl and forget about this one.

all_star · Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject:

I know what you mean. Really I do. But you have to understand. I realy dont know a girl what I could compeare with her! She looks 10 she dresses 10 her body is 10. Her sister is the moderator of MTV in our country whose admited as the 3 sexiest women in our land, and belive me the sister dont look worse. She has traveld many countrys singing and dancing in different groups. She is very unique as a person and has her own style and that is not whats easy to find. Most beautiful girls are all the same the dont have nothing other in her life than closes, things, and party and ofcaurse thair looks ... And most of them dont have thair own upinion .
Im now dating a other girl but I dont give a fuck about her ... she just dont compares ...

This time its worth to fight . And I know that will regret it if I wont try.
So if here are so much strategies and ways to get togeather with someone ... so many tactics and texts, to fuck with girls heads. I just cant belive that there is not eaven one way to get a girl what you had back.

And its really not easy to forgett and move on if you have to see her like for 4days a week in class sitting in front of you ...

leftytheking · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:03 am Post subject:

My friend, you have a nasty case of one-itis. Let me explain this to you...

From her perspective, she wants a guy who can keep her emotionally safe. She wants someone who can be a true MAN and not a boyfriend. Basically, all women want one thing from men- SECURITY. Now, let's look at this situation....

You've gotten yourself into a place where she doesn't think a relationship with you would be *safe.* She doesn't see you as one to give her security. You want her back. In order to get her back, you need to show her that you can be her *safe* zone. How can you do this? NOT THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING NOW!!!!! You want her back, you want a LTR with her, so you're willing to give up your S&R value to get her back? You should re-think your strategy. There is ONE proven way to get a girl back- that's to demonstrate to her what she's missing out on.

You're being needy right now. AFC. Emotionally handicapped. You need to recover from that ASAP. The ONLY way to get her back is for you to get another HB, get into a deep attraction with that HB, and genuinely have a relationship with that HB. If you prove to her that you are not a needy person, that you can control your emotions, and that you can actually give another girl the security that every woman wants- then and ONLY then do you have a chance to get back with her.

You've already chased her. She has seen you chase her. She chose to end your relationship. Now, if chasing her didn't work the first time, why are you still chasing her? Do you honestly think she'll have a magic change of heart? No, of course she won't. So now, you've got one option left- STOP chasing her, and give her a reason to chase YOU. If you get your emotions together and develop a another LTR, she will notice. To put it another way, she's seen what's on your menu- if she orders something, okay. But cramming something down her throat is not the way. If she sees someone else enjoys what you're offering, then she'll want it- maybe. But either way, SHE will ultimately make the decision, and there's nothing you, me, or the Greats of PUA can do about it.

bonexcrusher · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:03 am Post subject:

this reminds me of the song "you got me suicidal" by black eye peas i believe. Anyways, it sucks breaking up with the girl of your dreams, but hey, atleast you had the girl of your dreams for a little while.

The hope of you getting back togeather with her is pretty slim if you continue to look like an AFC. Be alpha, date other girls, and make it look like you dont need her to be happy, even if you feel you do. I read somewhere the best cure for oneitis is to have sex with 10 other girls and see if this ones still special.

Best of luck,
Bone

C-DUB · Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:07 am Post subject:

Dammit man, get a grip.

abc1555 · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:55 am Post subject:

Sorry to say this bro, but you lost her... Just move on. Same shit happened to me and after it didn't work out I never had that second chance...

parkour · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:56 am Post subject:

I agree with what most people say, but I will give you advice.

Start over from scratch, mention "LJBF", then say that she isnt the person that you thought, and were only into her because x-mas or whatever.

Then talk about even though a relationship between you isnt in the cards, after getting to know her, she is a cool enough person to keep knowing...

Just use different words.

all_star · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:22 pm Post subject:

Thanks. Finally some advices . Hmm well my plan for know is to get my shit togeather, in school and at work. And to finaly get my drivers license, I have like a very nice old car waiting for me in my garage i think that will only work good for me Twisted Evil

.
leftytheking thanx ... yeah I think your right about the "not feeling save" thing, maby you could give some advice af the right way to make her feel this way, because realationships are like new for me, most I've been for short term relationships .
parkour hmm I think I will give it time but then I will start it like you said, but I will mention what leftytheking said to her that i didnt made her feel save so she will atleast know that I know what I fucked up.
Yeah I know that I'm preaty fucked up with her ... but there is nothing i can do about it. I never could understand people (Well i thaught i could) people who are like in the situation like im now and cant get over it ... call it oneitis or whateva ... I only can understand it now.
So now I have to chouse a HB to make her jelouse and to show her what shes missing ...

Hobbit · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:35 pm Post subject:

Clancey · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 5:43 pm Post subject:

all_star, I think it's fair to say that most of the people here have been in that exact same situation. I know I have. I know you are looking for anything close to practical advice for getting her back, and I know that I was at the time as well.

What you have to understand (REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU THINK NOW) is that you won't feel this way about her forever. You're putting way too much importance on this girl, and this situation is going to screw you up for a while, you can't help that. The thing to try and do is realise as soon as possible that she's not everything you think she is and that she's not worth wasting months pining over.

If you want to go out and get another HB, then do it for yourself, not for this girl. Besides, if it ever became apparent to this girl that anything you were doing was for her benefit your chances would be even more ruined than they already are.

I seriously wish somebody had said this me when I was in your situation, and I beg of you to please please please take this in. I know that's extremely hard and I know you're going to want to dismiss this post straight away, but I assure you that in 1 years time you'll look back and wish you took this advice.

This is funny really...it's like I'm getting an opportunity to go back and tell myself to sort it out and forget about her...oh how I wish I had realised that before I confessed everything to her in a letter. Doh! Embarassed

all_star · Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject:

Clancey, I know I know i have to get over it . And I'm glad that I have finnaly founf people whome I can talk to and who actiually understand what I feel.
The thing why shes so special I can tell in a little storry.
I was realy on the wave, I knew the lines and everything was working. And I was using my knowlage to get that what I've never gotten. Had like smal relationships in my school too but just because the girl was like a chalange. But the thing I never felt happy, I was looking for THE ONE Smile

sounds funny. Serching for the one with who I can spend a nice morning after a wild night. Heh an in school always was this girl waht causes me this problems I always wanted to try something with her but she was like out of reach, we hadnt no friend we shared and we had talked only a little.
The came the end of November ... after a night out i was going home alone,had no money left for a cab. Well I was attacked by 3 guys was brutaly beaten up. Thenn I was lying like 6weeks at home with bad hadackes ... feeling sick.
It was a time to think,laying in stillnes for like 10 hours a day for these weeks. And it was really hard to get like messeges from some girls that they are actiually happy for that that happened to me. But there was that one thing that couldnt get out of my hed that was that girl. I hadnt seen her for more than a month. And everyday I felt what im feeling now . Everytime when I checked my frendship account I hoped that maby she has written to me (we were no friends we alost didnt talk to eatchother so a messege seemed impossible), everyday for days that was on my head. I think you all know these hopes waiting for an message. And the one day i was telling one my girldriend about how a girls is messing my mind. and after then i checked my accaount and there it was a message from her. And so we begun to date.

I want her back just because I fucked It up, everything was really ok between us. But I really had no idea how to be/act in an serious relationship, how to keep the interest and how to talk about feelings and not to scare the otherone off ... you know what I mean?

Smile

Dont hate on me just wanted to tell all this.

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