Hello everyone,

here is a bit about me, myself and I.

Personal History
Hello everyone, here is my story. I am already in the beginning of my 30s and still a complete AFC. In my time on this planet I only had one girlfriend for 2 years. The rest of my life I was a single. Although I even lived in a dormitory, I also never had an ONS or never did make out with some random girl.

But do not get me wrong, I am going out to bars and clubs since I was 18, but I always went home alone. And no I was not always standing inactively in some dark corner and just watching the club like a creeper. I went out to the dance floor and danced. In my best time I was wearing a bow tie and was playing with a pink blow up guitar in the middle of the dance floor. But sadly I lost my crazy over the last years.

I have some weird social anxiety. I am not afraid of doing crazy stuff and I do not have stage fright or anything like that. The anxiety only kicks in, then I have to deal with strangers. This anxiety may have developed from the speech disorder I had since I was a kid. According to my speech therapist, my brain is way faster than my mouth, and as my mouth tries to keep up, I am speaking way to fast.

This speech disorder leads to the challenge that people did not like to hear me talk to them. Some of them even looked disgusted. Completely understandable, I also do not like to listen to people in a club that you can hardly understand. It is exhausting. So naturally I developed this bad mindset that people do not want to listen to what I say and thus talking to them will be useless.

Fortunately this is not a major issue anymore, I am speaking more slowly than before.

PU History

I have the classical beginner experience. I have read some books and some posts in PU forums, but I do not have any practical experience. Totally stupid it is like trying to become a Karate master just by reading books about that. Literature should only be backup for practical experience.

I have never been to a seminar or never visited any lair. Maybe I will join a seminar once, but I am not sure about that as most of them are way to expensive. And also most of the theoretical stuff you can get for free or by buying some books for a smaller amount of money.


What kept me from actually starting this stuff ?

My “communication” anxiety is holding me back. I often find myself struggling even with the simple task of asking a shop employee for some help. As I am living in a foreign country, this seems to be harder because of the language barrier. On the other hand being a foreigner increases the attraction in most of the women.

Another reason is that I am too stuck in my comfort zone and got lazy. It is just such a comfy bubble. Starting this stuff will pop this bubble. My life will become like a roller coaster ride, I will definitely make a lot of good experience, but I am also expecting some very bad experiences. Seems like my motivation of avoiding pain is larger than the motivation of getting pleasure.

I am afraid of becoming a douchebag. From what I have read so far, happens to a lot of guys. As I am living by the golden rule (Treat people like you want to be treated), this might hurt this.I do not want anybody to lie to me, but I am afraid in the first days I might have to lie a bit until my confidence is built up enough.

And last but not least is the fear of failure. What will happen if I try this stuff and will fail ? I do not believe that PU is the ultimate solution for every guy. Some years ago I have tried this newbie mission once or twice, but failed each time. Of course not doing anything is a 100% failure. The difference is that in not doing something I can keep up the hope that if I will be successful after doing this stuff. If I try this and will fail, what will be next ?

What is my motivation ?

After being single and out again, it is enough. I think without my social issues, I will be a perfect package for the women. I do not look that bad, I am smart and I can be kinda funny. After my balls will be reattached, my beliefs are, that I will be successful. Lately I am getting IOIs from random women on public transport almost every day.

As told in the introduction, although I was a college student, I never had this wild student life. I even never had a wild time in my life. In my opinion having this wild time is an important factor in maturing. How will I know my future life partner is the one for me, if I do not have some kind of comparison ? I also believe in this time I can find the real me.

At the moment I am looking for a funny, cocky and open minded woman. A woman that will take me out of my comfort zone and to have an awesome time with. I do not want a nice girl (sounds quite familiar). As people are searching for similarities, it is hard as a nice guy, getting this kind of girl.

The final motivation for me is, that this will make me a more social person. From Introvert to social Introvert so to say. In fact I do not only have the challenge in getting women, I also face the challenge of befriend new people. I do not have a best bud or really any friends here in this city. Having a lot of friends is a major advantage in ones life. In the best case I will have a good friend and wing man at the same time. One that pushes me to the exercises, one that I will be pushing to do this exercises. (I am living in Prague now by the way)

_________________
Check out my introduction here: i-am-i-said-vt162104.html

I am still searching for a buttkicker in Prague: buttkicker-in-prague-wanted-vt164587.html

For my motivation, I have played a kind of open question game. I think this is a good thing to find more and more about the deeper levels of your motivation. Here is that I came up with:

1. I want to become more successful with women. Why do you think you want that ?

2. Because I will get more respect if I am a Ladies man and I also will give myself a higher value. Why do you think you need it ?

3. Because I feel I deserve it more than the other guys around me. Why do you deserve it ?

4. Because I think I am a pretty awesome guy. Handsome, intelligent with a lot of humor. Also I think I need to catch up. Why do you think you need to catch up ?

5. I am already 31 years old. Others around me already have a wife, kids, a house are in Senior or Management position. Especially the part of the woman. How will I know who is the right choice for me, if I haven't tasted enough fruit, do know which one is my favorite. Why do you think you need that ?

6. It is about the learning experience. I will learn a lot of things about women, and how they are even hornier than men. I also think that being successful with woman with help me on other social areas. But how ?

7. A man successful with woman will get either envy or will get a lot of respect from other guys. He is a man of high status, which will be a positive feedback. As man with higher social status will get more women, which will give them a higher status. What will you get with a higher status ?

8. I need a higher status, because I am too often alone. And I really hate it, when I hear that some of my “friends” are having a party or making something fun, but do not invite me. Or being out with friends and always going home alone. Why do you think they did not invite you ?

9. I am not good enough. I think most of the people just talk to me in a friendly matter, but without going to deeper levels. They might also think I am a boring person, which is not fun. How can they get this impression ?

10. I am not doing crazy things and stay in my comfort zone. I also try not to offend anyone around by saying out my unpopular opinions. I also have big problems with touching other people, which is necessary for bonding on a deeper more primitive layer. Why am I afraid of touching ?

11. Could be that my parents were emotionally and physically very distant to me. I cannot remember being hugged or kissed by my parents ever. I somehow adapted this.

Summary:
I want to be more popular with women, too get a higher status and respect, in hope that it will be a positive feedback cycle. I am missing respect, because I do not have any real friends, they are more acquaintances. My sticking points are that I am too afraid to offend other people and I have a bit of a Kino anxiety

_________________
Check out my introduction here: i-am-i-said-vt162104.html

I am still searching for a buttkicker in Prague: buttkicker-in-prague-wanted-vt164587.html