How to no contact if we live together? Basically this girl decided that we needed a break from each other but the problem is that we live together.

Her exact words were that she feels broken, she has lost herself blah blah, she is getting cold feet (because I started to get serious about relationship) and wants to have some fun and dance with other guys with her girls....enjoy herself. You get the point.

I am to blame for this, I completely went oneitis on this girl and did all the wrong moves, I still love her, and it will be tough to no contact with her if she lives with me. What do you guys recommend? I feel like I am starting all over again? I want her back now but she isn't feeling it, what should I do guys?

She just texted me today (while in the next room lol) if I know of any good places to get an oil change and added that if I needed a bigger bed i can take the pull out...

I haven't responded...is that too cold?

~Assertive

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You don't go no contact if you live with someone. It doesn't work because she knows exactly where you are and what you are doing. Your girl has essentially broken up with you.

Your best bet is to get out of there as fast as you can. Stay with a friend or family or just get your own place. Get out of the mentality of having to get her back and have fun with your new single life.

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We signed a year lease so we have half a year left on it..and this was out of the blue so i don't have anything set up. I try to go to the gym and take the dog out for walks and go to work to get out of the house.


Besides, she said she has to figure shit out. It's whatever.


But the good thing is jut last night I went out for drinks with friends. So I am on the road to recovery already.

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I think you need to communicate. Like adults in an actual relationship.

No contact is a 'dating/pickup' move...

If you guys need some time, then cool - take it... but actually just talk.

Should of listened to me in the last post. I knew you would end up here with the way you were talking. Me and my girl are still going strong

But on a serious note..

Any friends you can stay with?

And who is paying for the rent man?

I would NEVER let a chick make me sleep on the couch! NEVER! The fuck? This is my bed too. If she wants she can sleep on the pullout but I am going to sleep on my fucking bed. Stop being a wimp dog. Don't let her push you onto the couch. Keep that up and she'll be bringing another man into the bed

I i'll help you with this..

Text her back

" Shell on 256 Clarmont Street(A real place of course). and I'm sleeping on my bed (her name). If you want to sleep on the pullout or at a friends feel free, but thats my bed too and I am sleeping on it. Ttyl "

If you keep letting her pushing you around and lead you like this she will be out. You're playing tough,but inside you're all mushy and you have to cut it out. I also wouldn't drink if i were you. Alcohol is a depressant. When you're dealing with oneitisis it can help emasculate you. It builds unnecessary estrogen in the body as well. So it will only contribute to the body chemicals causes your current condition.

To be honest.. She just wants you to be the man she met in the beginning. And by giving you SPACE she will be giving you time to learn to stand on your own two feet again just like you were when she met you. So push back. Stop caving into her demands. You're falling right down the slippery slope that led her to want space in the first place.

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mmmm... hell of a situation you're on my friend.

Ok at this point the best thing you can do, yes is hard, is consider her a friend/potential future but no more than a friend.

You've essentially regressed.

Let her be as free as she wants, yes is hard as fuck, i know, specially if she lives with you

Let whatever feelings you have hit you, and deal with them like a man, just pretend mike tyson is hitting you and biting your ear.

Do your best to have a normal life while she sorts her feelings out.
If you really like her be there for her and let her know you're there if she sorts out her feelings/mind

But on the meantime do you, get your life back in check, meet other girls, rebuild your social world and get back out into the field. Yes, is hard as fuck, but you can do it baby.

Uhh and dont show off/try and get back at her in any sort of way, keep your shit cool, dont try and hurt her if she hurt you or anything, thats what i call an "ego" war and NO ONE comes out a victor in an EGO war.

Let the cards fall as they may, be the bigger man in the relationship, let her do her thing and if is ment to be she'll come around.

Now Go Live your Life and dont let a woman hold you back, women are secondary, LIVING in abundance is primary.

You're feelings are a result of getting into this bad situation, but no worries, we all fuck up, just climb back out like a man
heres a vid i made on the topic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cqChj9RtZk

Good luck !

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I know Eddie, you always had shit down pat...

But con CALMA con calma
Woah woah woah, hold on Eddie! . ALOT has changed in the past two days. Yeah, I was crushed when she wanted the space but I have done pretty good. I am still a little mushy but I can't become superman overnight...or maybe I can.

We both share expenses down the middle. We have a three bedroom apt so we each have our own room, she has a big bed she brought from home..and I have a twin that is also hers...I don't mind my own room=own space, but please comment Eddie on that... (I did sleep in her room sometimes when we were together, but idk, might try your move)
She also initiated the whole getting the parking spot in the driveway every other week(originally she had it all to herself, wtf was i thinking while i had off street). Which I simply said yes.

I went on two dates today in the same day. One girl I madeout, the other girl I spent a few hours with and she has helped me with my lifestyle goals. Mind you I only fucked this girl once in the past and I merely was trying to get back in the game. She provided me with advice and got my priorities in check for me. So that helped immensely. And she thinks I have ADD but thats another story for another time(even gave me sample adderall, which did wonders). This same girl texted me later saying she has narcissistic personality disorder and aspd (anti-social personality disorder) saying she saw value in me, saw that I was good looking, smart, worth investing time into, wants to get my life together. In my mind, I saw this as an opportunity for her to help me with learning about taxes, graduate school, how to get organized, etc. This girl is pretty successful, she has reached all the goals she has sought out for. A little loony, but probably beneficial for my lifestyle at the moment.


All this time on this Christmas Eve, my ex texted me out of the blue asking if I was at work.

I responded cocky "What do you need mom"? "What's up"
she responded "nvm"

I then apologized (i know i am still rusty) asked if she needed the dog watched, she read the message never texted back.

I didn't return home until after my dates were over. She later texted "I left you something under the tree" which had a note saying she knows things are weird between us blah blah bah. I texted back "thank you, I might leave a gift as well", she said "you don't have to".

And I won't. She later texted me asking if there was an issue with the clothes to let her know so she can exchange them.
I didn't bother replying.

Sound good guys or nah? I have added 2 more girls to my texting list today as well. So far so good. And i have been hitting the gym.

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and I found that post you were talking about Eddie. Yeahhhhhh, problem was i didn't have any bros back then...should really change that..to vent to. I used up all three hahaha. Jeez. You called it back in June..smh.

So far advice is the same from everyone that has responded, pick my balls up.

And Dtrak, I have done that. Kept my cool. I have been posting genuine happy FB statuses and she posts another one just like it right a few minutes after...kinda weird..so maybe she's picking up on how I acted when I first met her.

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What im noticing here, is you have a "Outward" external validation thing going on, girl for girl
seeing girls blah blah hoping someone will close the gap you're feeling in your life, thats wack son.

Look INWARD, take time for yourself, forget about starting a new relationship right now or fucking girls, unless is coming from the right place inside you.

That feeling of NEED needs to go away, replace it for a feeling of WANT, but dont NEED it.

Feel contempt on your own, be the GIVER in any interaction, not the TAKER.

Enrich Your life.

This world goes beyond your petty little self, and your petty little issues. Grow as a man. See beyond that external need for girls and bullshit.

Center yourself and of course you will inturn get everything you want out of life but it needs to be coming from the right place.

Honestly i havent been keeping up with this thread, and i barely read your stuff because it just seems as if your trying to fix a symptom enstead of curing the whole virus and looking at the bigger picture

forgive me if im off the topic, if this helps ,good, if not ,carry on, my apologies

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I don't think i am looking for outside validation? I have been trying to get my shit together. I am not being needy anymore...I am doing things for myself...looking for a purpose in life. In the meantime I guess what you're suggesting is volunteering and helping others? Which I can do...

My social circle is expanding...just got invited out on a night on the town. So I am making connections etc. Tomorrow I will look up graduate schools and finally decide whether continuing school is for me

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You need to be ok with the fact that it's highly unlikely that you two won't get back together.

Don't view it as a loss, view it as a natural progression in your life.

Personally, I would say, don't freeze her out. It's not going to be helpful to you, or to her. This may have gone to the point of "no return". If so, "freezing out" won't help to bring back that passion that she once had for you.

Mutually speak to your landlord. Tell him/her that you think that your relationship is has changed and that you think you will be better off in different accommodation. See if you can get out the lease, or pay some negligible fee to get out of it.

When you do get out of it, relax. There's no rush. Meet new people, but in your own time. If, after a few months, you still feel like getting back together with her, then you two can discuss. Maybe by then you would have moved on, maybe not. But you will feel better about things, at least.

Yeah, I have come to the conclusion that I am fine with whatever happens. Today she got a little hostile with me because I suggested I might sleep in her bed. Even after I dropped it she was going hostile lol. And I kept my cool through it all. She brought up the living situation but she was pretty mad from the previous issue so I told her I would talk to her when she wasn't so hostile. After I left to go to the gym ( I didn't tell her) she texted me saying she made a decision about our break and wants to meet new people. I feel like she did that because she was mad but you know what? I am cool with it.

She brought up that I haven't talked to her in a week and she feels like I have been ignoring her. In reality I have been stepping away and getting my shit together. Blah blah, you guys think it's only a matter of time? I am okay with her dating other people now. Only reason I would get back with her is because she does have the qualities I like in a woman...but I can find that else where I guess. I almost caved by talking about our relationship status though lol.

I feel like she is being spiteful about everything though. I keep reminding her that this is the space she wanted and I am granting her that. She can't be mad about that!

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First off, stop blaming yourself. From this and your other threads, this girl was not relationship material and you try to take responsibility for her actions. Recognize that alpha or not, this chick was probably seeing and talking to other dudes and will continue to do so. If you keep thinking her wanting to see other guys and be single was due to your actions, you will still be clinging to being with her. She shouldn't be your girlfriend.

Second, you're on the right track. Take it as a wake up call, not for what you did wrong to lose her, but for what you were doing wrong in your own life. Continue to get your shit handled. In love or not, relationship or single, never forget that you are your top priority in life and never forget to keep improving yourself everyday. You must be looking for outside validation if now after she ended things you can finally get your life back on track. This means that when you were with her, you were letting the things that actually benefit your life slack for the relationship. Dont worry about chicks because all that's gonna happen is you'll get back with her again, you'll find someone else and will go back to slacking. So focus on getting the habit of always improving yourself, physically, socially and career wise. Once you have the correct habits instilled, and you will never let a relationship hold back other areas of your life, then if you want to, find a girlfriend.

PS it shouldnt be about whether this is temporary or whatever happens happens. Your thoughts should be "this girl has good qualities but isn't gf material." Do you really want a girl who wants other dicks? Do you really want a girl who you have to worry abt her ex and her? Great qualities does not = gf material.

Thanks man, I just sorted shit out with the girl. Established some rules until I can get a place of my own. I am over it, what you said is what I was just thinking since I have broke up with her. I have noticed the flaws and she isn't relationship material. I did tell her that her that her excuse is bullshit for the breakup and for future reference to whoever she gets into a relationship with to be more upfron. Just left it at that


And you are right about what You said man. I can't believe you figured out my issue! Pretty impressive...I will take your advice

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I decided to move. There's no point for me to stay here. I can't really move on if she is still around. I am not strong enough for that yet as Eddie Fews pointed out. I understand everything i need to do, but I have to leave. She said a guy that has been orbiting her for months is eventually going to come over if things go right between them. I suspect she was talking to him on the side...and I am not going to be here. I feel that's disrespectful to me (i haven't totally moved on) so i told her I had to move on.

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