Alright so I'm a recovering "nice guy" and in my past relationships I've been needy as hell. I just didn't realize it and I've been improving and I have made huge steps forward. My question is how often do you text a girl? My situation now is I got a girls number from Match.com waited a couple of days text her, got straight to the point and asked her out. She said she'd be totally down to go but has to work. After that we talked a little bit more to get to know each other a little better. I ended the conversation because it was getting late and i was running out of stuff to talk about, at least texting it. So I'm not really good in this area (or any area, I'm improving, but I feel like the phone game is truly my weakest area as of now). When should I text her again? Or should I call?

Give it another day and then call.

Personally my text conversations never "Stop" I probably respond every hour or so and then I end up going to sleep and replying to the last thing they said sometime in the morning. I don't think they have to "end" anymore. This isn't like a phone call. You can reply whenever you want to the last thing she said.

I also know that when you can no longer think of nothing to say, if you just "wait" and do something else, something to say will come to your mind within the hour.

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Alright thanks. On the phone call is when I need to try to attract. This will be the first time I've tried to do this. So it might not go so good, either way it'll be experience. So a phone call this quick will be good? I've only talked to her twice. I'm pretty sure that it'll be ok, fighting with my inner nice guy is a constant battle.

Every time you text, you should always ask yourself, what do i know about this girl? One girl I text all the time, I call her "sexy librarian", because she could pass for a hot nerdy librarian. This brings her back to remembering that I am a funny sexual being.


You can text whenever you feel like it. You should always make the girl invest a little bit more after each text interaction. In the beginning, she might not take that phone call, but over time, as your text game gets tight, you can run phone game with ease.

Remember the golden rule "what did I talk with this girl about" and then send a text that will be emotionally charged enough for her to respond.

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alright well the first message I sent her on Match was poking fun at her for having a cat. I said "I see you have cats so I have to ask how many just to make sure your not a crazy cat lady" and I said a few other things. she replied back and said she just had one and I went in for the number and got it from her. Then Tuesday I texted her and I introduced myself so she knew who it was and ask how she was doing. She said she was good under the circumstances. I asked "did something bad happen? It took her awhile to reply but she said she had to attend a funeral and had another one to go to Thursday. Not gonna lie I had a good game plan going into that conversation but that was like running into a brick wall. I just said "I'm sorry to hear about that" then I changed the topic to bowling. Then asked her to go bowling at this place I've been dying to go to.

Alright I'm going to build a game plan. Butcher it if it sucks, I'm new to this, gonna throw some Idea's out here...

So I don't know really that much about her. I know she's an EMT, she's pretty good looking, has cats, she's not looking for a "fling" lol, and pretty much everything else a normal woman would say. Traveling, lake, sports, etc... Also said she's shy and from the country. I also grew up on a farm so there's a connection sorta

So I mean there's enough on her Match profile to go off of. I've traveled a lot. I live in the US. I've been to almost all 50 states, been to Canada. I might be able to relate to some of that...

I guess I could send a message tomorrow going back into the crazy cat lady thing. Since I've already brought it up, and then build off of that into traveling. The only thing about the crazy cat lady thing is that it's not very sexual. It is probably a bad idea and she might start getting offended by it.
... she did tell me her cat's name...

Say something like "Hey, is this Cosmos (Cat name) Sexy Cat Owner" ..... lmao that sounds horrible probably won't use that.

Or use like a CEMT (Cute Emergency Medical Technician)
Say like "Hey CEMT". and once she replies and ask what it means tell her and kinda build off of there.

I know these probably suck. I'm just brainstorming. Let me know how hilariously horrible these are. Or am I just way over thinking this whole thing?

What do you want?

I was just kinda brainstorming. I'm not very good with this yet. So I just through some ideas out there to see what y'all thought on how to open the message to her that would build attraction. Something to go off of instead of texting her and not knowing what to talk about.

Ok this is a question. I should of asked earlier, I get this all the time. What do you say when the girl initiates the conversation via text message by just saying "hey"

In my last text conversation I replied " What's up baby girl "

Let her invest, you don't have to feel too pressured to over engage when she's just writing hey. There's a lot of power in not replying as well. A girl will almost always initiate a second convo when you have her interest.

The game is patience man. Be casual and strike at the right moments.

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Alright I just replied back hey to her. I just kinda started talking to this girl. I'm gonna try to get her to go out saturday. She told me her work schedule so I know that's a good sign.

Alright so I'm gonna post the conversation between me and her. This is a girl I meet on match. Yesterday I text'd her and she said " I'm sorry to be rude. I have only had two hours of sleep since yeterday. So I'm gonna head to bed. I'll shoot ya a text tomorrow. Night." I didn't text back just waited till today and this is the conversation..
Her: Hey 5:44pm
Me: Hey 6:02pm
Her: Sorry about last night. I was exhausted.6:17pm
Me: It's fine, I'll forgive you this time... I'm gonna guess you've been having a pretty rough week already? 6:22pm
Her: lol. Can you tell. 7:15pm
Me: yeah... Your not talking as much as you normally do. 7:33pm
Her: yea. Sorry about that. I kinda have a history of not always texting back. I just forgot. I'm not the type of girl that is always chained to her phone. 7:58pm

I haven't replied to this. It seems kinda where I should stop for the night. I've had a few good conversations with her to build comfort and trust. This one has been weird. Let me know if I'm doing good here or If I should start being bolder with my text.

Disclaimer: I am not a PUA, and have not been laid for 14 months and running.

This is a GUESS of advice I would give to a friend asking me this question:

Don't get too emotionally invested or nervous ... Enjoy your hobbies and friends and stuff. Try to have a good time with other stuff and she'll get back to you.. you'll have something to talk about if she asks you what you've been up to. She doesn't want to hear that you've been waiting for her ..

Yeah I shouldn't of said the thing about her not talking as much. Showed I was over invested in her. The reason I showed the time stamps was to show that I don't respond instantly. I do stay busy and if I'm doing something, I usually don't respond until I'm done with whatever I'm doing.

don't call her out on not responding. If she brings up how bad of a texter she is, just tease her about it and move on from there.

Being naturally busy is the way to go.

Here is a sample of some of my interactions to give you an idea. However, I want you to keep brainstorming and developing your style. Since everyone has their own personalities. If it happens to be similar to mine, then go for it...if not..don't use it..since that guy has to appear again on the date.

post911801.html#p911801

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In the context of what the conversation was about it wasn't that bad. You have to look at how she responded..What you said resulted in her "qualifying" herself.

There is no universal rule. Everything can work at the proper times and vice versa.

In the context, it worked. She apologized (for nothing) and then qualified herself. That went well. You check yourself by looking at what she was sub communicating in her response. You were relating to her experience, not being needy. Theres a difference.

I say that was good.

And after a woman qualifies herself, you RESPOND. Otherwise she'll feel vulnerable and empty. Even if its just slightly. It seems to me you got nervous and didn't want to ruin it. That wasn't a calculated "non response". It was a " I don't know what to do" non response.

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