Girl on Tinder stopped replying critique my messages


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:42 pm 
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Ok so a girl I started messaging on Tinder has ignored me for a day, I'm wondering where my text game fell short. I'm more worried about issues with my texts than the girl or anything.

Also the girl mentioned in her bio something about her being 5'9" and saying that she hoped any match would be taller than her.

Please be critical, I have a thick skin and want to get better.

Me: Titanic
Her: Jack?
Me: Just breaking the ice. How's your day Rose(?)
Her: More like breaking the ship. Tiring yours?
Me: You're right there, smart cookie. More than just a pretty face. Tiring day? Maybe it's harder than I thought finding guys taller than you.
Her: As if I look for guys taller than me all day. But it actually is really hard.
Me: I don't know what you do on a daily basis do. So the obvious assumption is you go around looking for affable 5'10"+ males like myself. .... and it's apparently tiring
Her: I'll probably have to change my everyday activity now that you're here.
Me: How cute, I'm flattered. How's about you give me your number and we hang out some time? I trust you won't be in heels.
Her: I won't 100%, don't even own a pair *insert number*

On the phone:

Me: Hello 'tis your favourite person xxxxxxx
Her: Grandma?
Me: Yeah it's my new number how did you know it was me?
Her: The kisses of course
Me: I hear you agreed to hang out with an affable boy, how are things with him?
Her: Grandma stop it, it's none of your business. But he's real cute ifI'm being honest.
Me: Where abouts do you live j/w
Her: *insert location* you?
Me: *insert location* do you fancy hanging out this evening
Her: Lol I live 15 minutes walk from you. I'm quite tired, but if I feel better when I'm back home, I totally would.
Me: Do let me know if you want me to pay you a visit
Me (later that evening): Getting this out the way before we meet, how do you pronounce your name?
Her: Don't bother just call me *insert name*
Me (late that evening): Ok then I shall you up to much next week?
Her: Not really, just work
Me: Sounds like an exciting week, any preference of which day you want to hang out? Also you said you said you're going to stop the tiring habit of looking for tall men now you've met me, can I call you my gffl?
Her: Thursday or tomorrow should be great and no way man, i ain't you gffl
Me: I was joking on the last bit, don't get excited. I hope my future gffl isn't this aggressive in bed
Her: She isn't don't worry
Me: Tomorrow it is then. Any time you're not free?
Me (the following day): Yeah, so you wanna hang tonight or nah?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:51 am 
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Curtis72 wrote:
Ok so a girl I started messaging on Tinder has ignored me for a day, I'm wondering where my text game fell short. I'm more worried about issues with my texts than the girl or anything.

Also the girl mentioned in her bio something about her being 5'9" and saying that she hoped any match would be taller than her.

Please be critical, I have a thick skin and want to get better.

Me: Titanic
Her: Jack?
Me: Just breaking the ice. How's your day Rose(?)
Her: More like breaking the ship. Tiring yours?
Me: You're right there, smart cookie. More than just a pretty face. Tiring day? Maybe it's harder than I thought finding guys taller than you.
Her: As if I look for guys taller than me all day. But it actually is really hard.
Me: I don't know what you do on a daily basis do. So the obvious assumption is you go around looking for affable 5'10"+ males like myself. .... and it's apparently tiring
Her: I'll probably have to change my everyday activity now that you're here.
Me: How cute, I'm flattered. How's about you give me your number and we hang out some time? I trust you won't be in heels.
Her: I won't 100%, don't even own a pair *insert number*

On the phone:

Me: Hello 'tis your favourite person xxxxxxx
Her: Grandma?
Me: Yeah it's my new number how did you know it was me?
Her: The kisses of course
Me: I hear you agreed to hang out with an affable boy, how are things with him?
Her: Grandma stop it, it's none of your business. But he's real cute ifI'm being honest.
Me: Where abouts do you live j/w
Her: *insert location* you?
Me: *insert location* do you fancy hanging out this evening
Her: Lol I live 15 minutes walk from you. I'm quite tired, but if I feel better when I'm back home, I totally would.

Should've stopped here. Ball was in her court. Even if you think/know/feel she's gonna flake, leave it at that and re engage later, fresh. If a horse is dead don't keep on beating it.

Curtis72 wrote:
Me (late that evening): Ok then I shall you up to much next week?

Fishing for permission to ask her out. She knows it, you know it, we know it. Whole world knows it.


Curtis72 wrote:
Her: Not really, just work
Me: Sounds like an exciting week, any preference of which day you want to hang out? Also you said you said you're going to stop the tiring habit of looking for tall men now you've met me, can I call you my gffl?

If you're gonna ask a girl out, do it properly. State a date, time and activity. Don't ask which day she prefers. Pick the day you prefer. If she can make it, great. If not, she'll either offer a reschedule on her own, or you'll ask her to reschedule. But don't lead with that.

Also you're starting to overdo the tall men thing.

Curtis72 wrote:
Her: Thursday or tomorrow should be great and no way man, i ain't you gffl
Me: I was joking on the last bit, don't get excited. I hope my future gffl isn't this aggressive in bed
Her: She isn't don't worry
Me: Tomorrow it is then. Any time you're not free?

And that's exactly why you you should properly invite a woman out. At this point you're being the female, asking her to make all the decisions.
*When does it work?*
*At what time does it work?*
*What do you want to do?*
Not sexy.
Curtis72 wrote:
Me (the following day): Yeah, so you wanna hang tonight or nah?

She probably doesn't.

Your date invites are passive. If you read my guide on texting you'll find that every date invite needs to have a clear date, time and activity.

You gotta understand that if you show this kind of reluctance asking her out, she'll show the same reluctance in accepting.
You can't play it cocky or borderline arrogant at first and then when it comes time to make an actual move, you start backpedaling like a pup who's all bark and no show. It's incongruent and will make her do the eye roll.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:22 am 
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Ok thanks for your feedback


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 3:42 pm 
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Yeah what Rc said. The only thing I'd add is the gffl thing. I can see the humor you're going for but it's a bad idea to use it when things aren't flowing well. If you've fucked a girl and she knows you're not a needy guy Yeah you can use something like making her your wife or gf because she can tell you're not serious. If you're just meeting a chick and already talking more than she is... don't even hint at being that kinda guy.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:02 pm 
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Okay I appreciate you reading that, thanks a lot for the help, I'll take it on board with other girls.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:12 pm 
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Ok she texted me "Really sorry for not reply for so long, you free today?".

I was going to just respond "Yeah, we'll meet at yours at 20:00 then head for drinks." Is it worth bothering though as she seems flaky?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:27 pm 
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Curtis72 wrote:
Ok she texted me "Really sorry for not reply for so long, you free today?".

I was going to just respond "Yeah, we'll meet at yours at 20:00 then head for drinks." Is it worth bothering though as she seems flaky?
Give her the benefit of the doubt. If she flakes on you then don't put anymore effort in.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:42 pm 
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Ok thanks


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:49 pm 
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Curtis72 wrote:
Ok so a girl I started messaging on Tinder has ignored me for a day



Dude. It's one day. Stop blowing up her inbox and work on something more important.


Quote:
I'm wondering where my text game fell short.


Probably canned/gamey lines and amount of texting is where your problems are.



Quote:
Me: Titanic
Her: Jack?
Me: Just breaking the ice. How's your day Rose(?)


Jesus christ.
Quote:
Me: You're right there, smart cookie. More than just a pretty face. Tiring day? Maybe it's harder than I thought finding guys taller than you.



Holy fuck this is so try-hard.

Just be yourself, man. Never do this shit again.


Quote:
Her: As if I look for guys taller than me all day. But it actually is really hard.
Me: I don't know what you do on a daily basis do. So the obvious assumption is you go around looking for affable 5'10"+ males like myself. .... and it's apparently tiring


This is better. You can tell this is what you're thinking. It reads as sincere.


Quote:
Her: I'll probably have to change my everyday activity now that you're here.
Me: How cute, I'm flattered. How's about you give me your number and we hang out some time? I trust you won't be in heels.
Her: I won't 100%, don't even own a pair *insert number*


Not bad.


Quote:
On the phone:

Me: Hello 'tis your favourite person xxxxxxx
Her: Grandma?


I really hope you didn't use the word "tis". Are you trying to sound like an old time pirate? And I hate this kind of gamey introduction. It reads as complete insecurity, and it sounds like projection.

Quote:
Me: Yeah it's my new number how did you know it was me?
Her: The kisses of course
Me: I hear you agreed to hang out with an affable boy, how are things with him?


LOL. Just be yourself, man. You sound like a court jester. Also, again it reads like insecurity, like you're reminding her, "hey, do you remember you said you'd hang out with me, your highness????".


Quote:
Me: *insert location* do you fancy hanging out this evening


You: Drinks at bar X, 9.

Quote:
Me: Do let me know if you want me to pay you a visit
Me (later that evening): Getting this out the way before we meet, how do you pronounce your name?


Didn't you say for her to "let you know"? And then you text again? Give her some time.

Quote:
Her: Don't bother just call me *insert name*
Me (late that evening): Ok then I shall you up to much next week?


She still hasn't responded directly to your beta-like invite, yet you're still hammering her and reminding her. This is desperate behavior.

Quote:
Her: Not really, just work
Me: Sounds like an exciting week, any preference of which day you want to hang out? Also you said you said you're going to stop the tiring habit of looking for tall men now you've met me, can I call you my gffl?


this is straight up fucking pathetic. You are all over he like a wet blanket. Give her some space, man! You told her to "let me know when you're free to hang", yet you never gave her the space to answer. Desperate and unattractive.



Quote:
Me: Tomorrow it is then. Any time you're not free?


That's not how you ask a girl out. See above. And that's like the fourth time you've harped on her since you said she should let you know.

Quote:
Me (the following day): Yeah, so you wanna hang tonight or nah?


WTF?

At this point you look crazy and neurotic.

Give her space and let her get back to you. Women love patient men.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 08, 2017 10:58 pm 
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Curtis72 wrote:
Ok she texted me "Really sorry for not reply for so long, you free today?".

I was going to just respond "Yeah, we'll meet at yours at 20:00 then head for drinks." Is it worth bothering though as she seems flaky?



You have no idea if she's flaky, lol. Give her a chance. And keep your emotions in check when you meet up.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 6:26 am 
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meet women irl


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:51 pm 
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Thanks for the comments Arch, it did read as needy in hindsight. On to the next where I won't be making the same mistakes


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 2:57 pm 
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Did she flake?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 4:13 pm 
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Yeah. She didn't reply, so I won't contact her again. Oh well.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 5:34 pm 
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Even with the text mistakes a phone call when things are going OK would've prob helped to get her over that day. All she really sees is your written words in the phone.. Your voice and a quick convo could've helped make her comfortable with going to this guy's place off the bat. Talking on the phone before an invite goes a long way to preventing flaking.


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