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snubby (aka Zen)
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
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 Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:14 pm Post subject: Excuses, excuses, excuses . . . |
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I just posted this to and thought it would be of interest. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
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Excuses, excuses, excuses . . .
The human mind is an amazingly powerful tool. But part of that power is the power to rationalize. It’s very tempting, and very easy, to let ourselves off the hook, not follow through on something we intended to do, or otherwise flake out. And after the fact, our brains go into overdrive coming up with perfectly logical reasons for the flake out. “Hey, the reason I overslept this morning and didn’t exercise is that sleep is really important for health.” Ok, that sounds logical. But logic won’t get the flab off. “The reason I ditched my plan to go out and try to meet women last night is I really needed to catch up on my email. I can’t just let it pile up.” Sure, that makes sense. Except it’s keeping you from getting the results you want.
Which points to a solution I’m going to suggest. The next time you find yourself rationalizing or making excuses, no matter how trivial, I want you to stop. Place that rational thought under arrest for a moment. Put it in a holding cell. It will be screaming that it has rights and wants to talk to its attorney, but just ignore it for now. Ok? Now ask yourself, what is my objective? Is my objective to sleep more or lose weight? Is my objective to check email more often or go out and meet women more often? Do I want to improve my socializing skills? How can I accomplish that? What path gets me there quicker?
Stay focused on your objectives. Back in high school when I was a band nerd, our band director had a sign on the door of his office that said, “Results, not excuses.” That sure stopped you in your tracks when you were coming in to explain why you couldn’t make the big concert, or hadn’t practiced your part.
Our brains are powerful tools, but don’t let the tool take control. Focus your mind like a laser beam on your objectives, and single mindedly pursue them. Let that laser blast away excuses and forge a path to the results you desire. You can make it happen. You’ve got everything you need right now.
Good luck. |
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joebazooka
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Posts: 57
Location: Nashville (at the moment)
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| Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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That was a pretty good way to put the whole matter of the excuse. I guess i alrdy had that idea in mind but reading it all layed out was helpful just a matter of actually thinking about it when i go to make an excuse. Thx  |
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Alphagame
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Posts: 133
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 4:26 am Post subject: |
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Something about the winter, with grey, cloudy, overcast skies, cooler temperatures and nightfall coming at 5:30 just gives me an excuse for staying home when I should be out sarging and getting better at pick-up. I just don't feel like sarging as much.
That's my excuse. I hate winter. Lousy as hell, I know, and even logically, it's a terrible excuse. But I'm staying home tonight. |
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96Firebird
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Joined: 21 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 6:35 am Post subject: |
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| Alphagame wrote: | Something about the winter, with grey, cloudy, overcast skies, cooler temperatures and nightfall coming at 5:30 just gives me an excuse for staying home when I should be out sarging and getting better at pick-up. I just don't feel like sarging as much.
That's my excuse. I hate winter. Lousy as hell, I know, and even logically, it's a terrible excuse. But I'm staying home tonight. |
Please tell me you aren't complaining about Texas winters... Here in upstate NY, when the lake effect snow comes, all hell breaks loose. And even then I find time to go out, I hate staying at home doing nothing.
But I make excuses for not approaching. I know I do it, and I'm trying to stop it. But its tough. |
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Roads
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 01 Nov 2007
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Location: NE
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:23 pm Post subject: Re: Excuses, excuses, excuses . . . |
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| snubby (aka Zen) wrote: |
Which points to a solution I’m going to suggest. The next time you find yourself rationalizing or making excuses, no matter how trivial, I want you to stop. Place that rational thought under arrest for a moment. Put it in a holding cell. It will be screaming that it has rights and wants to talk to its attorney, but just ignore it for now. |
Lol awesome man. I try to do that whenever I can, but my brain is a tricky fella and sometimes he picks the lock to the holding cell.
I'm all for what you're suggesting---often times desire and rationale are mutually exclusive, and we must pick one over the other. |
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snubby (aka Zen)
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
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Reputation: 56.3
votes: 1
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| Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:30 pm Post subject: Re: Excuses, excuses, excuses . . . |
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| Roads wrote: | | Lol awesome man. I try to do that whenever I can, but my brain is a tricky fella and sometimes he picks the lock to the holding cell. |
Absolutely. That's what always makes this a challenge. So many of the barriers we face in PUA are simply mental barriers. If smashing through them were easy, we wouldn't all be talking about this, we'd be out picking up women left and right.
One way to help you drive a tank through those barriers is to get a little leverage over the old Monkey Mind that keeps chattering away with the same negative and counterproductive sound bites. How? Through daily meditation. It gives you the ability to strip away the layers and layers of programming and get back to your true nature, the self that is connected to and ultimately is the universe. I know that sounds like a load of cow cookies to some people, but that's fine. I'm not asking you to take my word for it. Learn how to meditate, do it every day for a month, and see for yourself what it's all about.
To me, that's what's missing from many of the other PUA approaches. It's easy to give someone a list of canned openers to memorize, or break things down into A1, A2, A3, C1, C2 . . . etc. But how do you teach someone to gain perspective on their own mind? How do you help someone step outside their own programming and see reality? Meditation puts you in touch with reality and lets you see with new eyes, without judgment, without dividing everything into right and wrong, good and bad. Just the essence of being right now.
Again, sorry to the skeptics. I've been there, and I know how off putting some of this "mystical shit" can sound. It isn't really mystical at all, it's very simple, very ordinary, nothing special. You're thirsty, you take a drink of water. That's it right there.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Repeat. |
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