OK guys, this is a HUGE problem for me. I need your help.

My ex girlfriend (Online relationship only. We broke up, and remained VERY good friends) wants to meet me.

She just broke up with her 2 months IRL boyfriend and wants to finally meet me "for a few days". She lives out of town.

I think she feels lonely and wants to talk, and explore romantic possibilities with me.

Here's the problem.

I'm NOT Alpha yet, so I don't want to ruin our first meeting!

What should I tell her?

Things I've considered:

1) Make up an excuse and say it's better to meet next month, while I cram and develop more alpha qualities. (more friends, dates, find cool places to go in town, etc)

2) Um.. no clue.

Any advice?

The very fact that you are developing alpha qualities to get one girl proves that you are not in fact alpha. She has all of the power. You can't "cram" for alpha qualities. It's not a test.

To answer your question though--if you can emotionally dissociate, then go for it and practice on her. But that should be all she is--practice. If you don't think you're ready, then don't talk to her.

If you engage in the interaction and have expectations or results attached to it, you will fail.

_________________
Lo' there do I see My Father.
Lo' there do I see the line of My People, back to the beginning.
Lo' they do call to me, they bid me take my place among them.
in the Halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever.

You're right. Very good point.

I think I've proven I'm not ready.

I'll take your suggestion and tell her I'm too busy. Maybe she can visit some other time.

Meanwhile, I'll go practice on other girls. She's a good friend and I do care about her opinion, so I can't practice on her.

Thanks, Fiction!

You're thinking too much, its getting in the way of all of the sex you should be having...

Ruga, I appreciate your opinion.

What do you think I should be doing instead?

Its a problem all of us have, I think too much as well. I try to take myself out of that mindset though, i am whoever the fuck i want to be whenever the fuck i want to be and if i want to be in some pussy, well i'm going to be in some pussy. Thats just the way you need to think, its confidence because once a girl thinks you don't have any she will shit down your neck.

I would suggest telling this particular girl to get her ass over to your place soon. She was dating a guy for 2 months, thats nothing.... She was trying to fill a void that she wants you to fill with that other guy because he was more readily available, but now that she realizes its not you and she wants YOU she is going to try to take it. Invite her over for the weekend, tell her she can have your bed and you'll take the couch. i promise you that will not be the sleeping situation if you don't want it to be...

Ruga, I would love to do that.


But I think I'm too AFC right now.

I want to be my "BEST" self before meeting her. Does that make sense?

I planned on having a more social life, knowing my city more, developing more alpha qualities, etc , but got too busy.

Her request to visit is motivating me to improve myself.

If she comes for only a few days, I want to leave a good impression. I'd like to take her out and give her a good time.

However, I haven't dated in a long time. My social skills are weak SPAM and I'm not sure where to take her. I just started gaming.

Should I..

1. Let her come visit and see me in my AFC self and be turned off?

Or..

2. Tell her I'm too busy but she can come next month, while I improve myself.

Advice?

Or am I missing something here?

You're best self is in you right now. Why don't you invite her to your house and then show her that you are more than you think, because you are...

Honestly, and it may sound harsh, I say forget about her. Don't plan on meeting her in a month, don't even plan on meeting her ever. She's simply not important in the grand scheme of things.

You cannot think of her as some "one-in-a-million" girl, because quite frankly, she's not. Stop wasting your time worrying about how you're going to look in front of HER, one specific girl.

Instead, mark 3 or 4 days next week where you're going to go out to the mall or to the clubs and practice running game. Don't bother reading an entire book -- learning about opening is all you need until you get your opening game tight. Then read the next chapter and implement what you've learned.

It's as easy as that. Also, when online dating, meet in person as soon as possible, because most people are different in real life than on the internet. You don't want the person you're gaming on the web to imagine you as someone you're not, and vice-versa.

Good luck bro.

My advice would be to have her come over right now. If you still think that you're too "AFC" (man I hate that word), fuck it! You want to hang out with her, you want to fuck her, so do it. Have her come over, go for her, and if shit doesn't work out, fuck it. Move on instantly, and figure out where you went wrong by not sealing the deal with her.

If shit works out with you and her when you hang out - you suceeded.

If shit doesn't work out, but you quickly realize what you did wrong, and immediately learn from your mistakes and apply that knowledge to other chicks - you suceeded.

It's a win-win situation. Go for it dude. What's the worst that can happen, she doesn't get with you? She's not getting with you now anyway.

Thanks a lot for the advice, guys.

We didn't end up meeting. We planned on meeting in 3 months.

Here's what happened:

She broke up with her boyfriend and said she still loves me. After that, she moved to a new country for vacation to get a "change of scenery" for 3 months.

She wants to stay friends, regain my trust, then meet me in 3 months -- she thinks I'm "the one". She's saving herself for me.

So... I avoided the disaster. She won't see my AFC self.

I have enough time to improve myself and my game in 3 months. I just need a serious plan to follow.

IMO and its only my opinion, ex g friends are a bad idea. when you meet her in 3 months you will be a different guy, game, confidence, ALPHA and the rest but she will be the same girl. She is had her cake, had a bite and didnt like it so wantend her old peice of cake back(you)but the peice should be in the bin, gone and never to be found again. Dont get me wrong if you still love her then go for iy but...

1. tell her 3 and a half months or four - if she is holding out for you then you will still get back with her and she wont end up with another guy.

2. If she does end up dating again then its not ment to be.

You call the shots now! Your ALPHA and you can pick and choose your girls now, in fact fuck it you date a girl or two before you meet her.

She seems to be calling the shots with you and ive ben there before and done it all wrong, she got me when she wanted me and then ended up with an ex and living with him now! engaged as well! So dude, good luck and dont do it the AFC way!

I'm in the same boat. I'm at the point where I've changed dramatically from the AFC that I was a few months ago, but I question if it is enough.

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

Guys stop being obsessed with being Alpha it is merely one of the attraction switches.

Being confident, funny interesting, and DHV works just as well. You don't need to be the toughest kid on the block or be able to boss people around.

It's best to use whatever is your best personality trait to your advantage.
Your not really Alpha are you if youre so afraid what one girl will think of you that you delay a meeting for 3 months.

I say Just invite her over asap and do your best. Do not be afraid to fail or worry about not impressing her or what she thinks about you. You are your own person with your own life. You have places to go things to do people to meet. Just be cool, she is just one girl and it's not even a big deal. If she likes you which she probably already does then great. IF not then it doesn't matter.
Theres plenty of single girls out there and there will be one who will appreciate you for who you are. Do not waste time on a girl if it turns out she doesn't like you.

_________________
Now looking back at all we've had...
we let so many dreams just slip through our hands...
Why must we wait so long before we see
How sad the answers to those questions can be?

I have a couple of thoughts on this,

She is your ex and likes you for who you are, sounds to me like she wants someone to hang out with and hold her.

She was attracted to who YOU ARE at some point, which is probably a nice guy, a good listener and attentive, which is probably what she is looking for right now, you know someone safe who she trusts.

You may end up scaring her off if you come across as too ALPHA, remember she knows you and if you dont truely believe you are alpha she will see it as a lame act and tell you that you have changed and your not the person she used to know.

I think you just need to come across as a little more assertive and confident than she remembers.

Hey remember you 2 also have a past and im sure there are plenty of really good times you can remind her of.