| What do you determine as success on a day or night out? Is it you got this and this many numbers? This and this many K-closes? This and this many lays? Or is it the fact that you stuck to what had to be done, no matter what the outcome was?
This is incredibly important especially if you want to get into state, which will help you have better interactions with girls and get you more closes.
Your only determinant for success should be to do what has to be done. To do that what you set out to do today or tonight. In this way you can literally get rejected all of the time but have a BLAST. Let me clarify.
If your determinant for success is to get a kiss tonight, and you end up going out, approach some girls, and get NO kisses, maybe a number or two, what will you feel like? You have not reached your goal, therefore you will probably feel bad. You might think that as I do more of this, I should get more results. Right?
Wrong. That is not how you progress. What successful people have realized is that PROGRESS and SUCCESS comes not from the outcome, but from being able to do the things that have to be done, and escalating those things that have to be done, going outside your comfort zone and doing it.
So what should be your determinant for success? Anything that is WITHIN YOUR CONTROL. What does this mean? Anything that you can actively do, that does not rely on circumstances or other people, but that you yourself can actually do without anyone else's help.
If you go out and your only aim is to fucking approach, and you approach approach approach, how will you feel? FUCKING GREAT, because you're reaching your goal over and over and over again. Same goes for when you talk to a girl, if your aim is to ESCALATE until you get to NO, and you escalate and you get to NO, you have reached your goal. You yourself have pushed yourself further. You've reached that benchmark. And how paradoxical. You're out to pickup a chick, you get to NO, and you feel awesome. Haha!
If this is your only aim for the night or day, you will also be more congruent. Let's say one of your things to do tonight is to just push for a SNL, so you do all the things that have to be done for a SNL. That's all you focus on. That means that if a girl tells you she can't go home with you, but you should come along for a quick bite somewhere, you will probably say no because you have to do the things that need to be done in order to reach your goal. You will be CONGRUENT and not fall into her frame, you stick to YOUR frame. And this is attractive. You are automatically screening for those who fit your frame for tonight. All the others are weeded out. And thus whilst you might get a lot of no's, you will also get more yes's than you usually do, because you have such a strong frame and you're pushing for this one thing. And whether or not you actually get the SNL doesn't even matter, because that wasn't your goal. Your goal was to DO ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE TO BE DONE to get a SNL, not to actually get one. If you get one, awesome!
You should always up the ante slightly. Tonight I will approach. The next I will go out and do THIS and approach, always look outside your comfort zone. You know that thing that you're afraid of? Like, maybe you're afraid of approaching a chick in a 5 mixed set, that's EXACTLY what you should do now. Look outside your comfort zone and do it. That's how you expand yourself and progress. And your determinant for success is within your control.
And how does this relate to state? Well if you constantly reach your goals, you will feel great, you will be "in state". This means that as you are feeling great that feeling will glow from you and girls will notice this, and what you will find is a lot of girls will be more open, because they feel the energy coming off of you. And this in turn gives you a better chance of closing them. All from your aim to approach! That's all you really wanted! Now you get the benefits. They are a byproduct, something that just comes along the way. Push yourself and things will just happen. The problem with "pickup" is that it's all geared towards "Get more women!" and then guys who don't get women suddenly see something that gets them what they want and they are outcome dependent. This is a really bad mindset. You should be focusing your energy on that stuff that you CAN control, meaning yourself. Push yourself further and further, and then those "promised" benefits will just slide their way into your world. But let them come as they may. Just focus on what has to be done and do it. That is literally all that matters! LITERALLY!
Last edited by Tr@veler on Mon Dec 31, 2012 1:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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