So I am going to get laid using these jokes?
Nope. Those are male humor dirty jokes. You' be better off with dry sarcastic or clever jokes that show your intelligence or confidence.
- You know this one time I was at a bar and there was a really cute chick sitting next to me. I didn't say anything and keep looking at my watch. It finally bugged her and she asked why did I keep doing so. I told her I just bought this magic watch and it tells me everything I want to know and that it said something about her earlier. She asked me what it was. I said it told me that you're not wearing any panties. She laughed and said no it's wrong I'm wearing one. At this point, I just replied with a smile "The damn watch must be an hour early!"
- There was a man strangled in the middle of nowhere. He walked hours after hours and finally reached a church. He asked if he can borrow their horse and make it to town. The priest told him it's okay but the horse was specially trained so if he wants it to run he'd have to say "THanks God" and if he wants it to stop, he needs to say "Oh my God!". The man got on the horse and ride it as fast as he can, suddenly he reached a cliff, freaking out he screamed "OH MY GOOODDD!". Luckily he made it in time, the horse stopped right at the edge. At this moment, he wiped his sweat in relief and said "THANKS GOD!"