PUA Forum :: 7 yr HB10 LTR "Victim Chick," or WTF? OneITIS?

Okay guys, I waited this out a week to see how things would play out, and I have some interesting results. First, I'd like to respond to what you've had to say...

Quote:

this seems very normal to me, you seem to be playing this like how you should, its natural, those guys comming up complitmenting you are most likely trying to see if you are indeed together so they can hit on her, when your not around she probably gets hit on alot, but i wouldn't worry or care, chances are she is used to it and totally attached to you, you are right to want her to help with the bills, and as far as the compliments go, don't worry about that at all, just be yourself, do what you want, and try not to let what she thinks get to you, she will try to manipulate and change you all the time, it is what girls do, and when they get what they want, they don't feel the same way anymore, because they fell in love with the you that they met, not the you that they want you to become, anyways good luck, in the end the choice is really yours, if you love her then you should stay with her, if you don't love her then let her go, either way this seems pretty borderline normal female behavior

First off, yes, I agree that I am playing it like I should as far as not really caring about other guys hitting on her. It's a compliment, and I'm the one putting my dick in her right...

Next, they may be hitting on her a lot, yeah... problem is this. She and I don't go out together; she goes out with her "girlfriends," and the new neighbors (which love to party btw). She's told me that she "let's guys know" that she has a boyfriend, but I don't buy it. I think she uses it more like a female PUA would, only to push douche bags away, and that she acts like she's single when she's out. I feel this based on our history when I found text messages between her and men on her cell phone.

Quote:

just because someone is pretty and sexy doesn't mean that they are the right fit for you.

Of course, this is obvious to me.

Quote:

I think in a way you are both using each other. She may be using you for your resources and your stability and your complience in giving her what she wants but you are also using her because of the status she brings you by being so hot and the life of the party etc.

You could be partially right. You're definitely right about her using me for money, although I have basically limited it to a roof over her head, and that is changing (though I'm on the verge of just dumping her). I partially agree with me using her for status. She's a hot ass chick and has brought me business, but it hasn't brought me anything else but that and trouble. She's a super socialite, but I don't like the majority of her friends. I'm actually beginning to wonder if she turns them against me, or if they are just genuinely shitty people. I'm honestly starting to think the first option. Would that make any sense to any of you guys? A woman who says she "loves you" but puts you down behind your back? Because I think that's what I'm dealing with, and it may be partially my fault from what I'm reading because I'm not "telling" her as much as "asking?"

Quote:

She does have some very admirable traits and it doesn't sound like she has done anything terribly wrong or unforgivable so it's normal to have some positive feelings for her. She isn't necessarily a 'bad' person, she just may not be what you want in a lifepartner that you are around day in and day out all the time.....in other words she probably isn't 'the one' for you.

Word. She has a ton of traits that I fell in love with, but I never realized that her love of nightlife, being social, and getting attention would play such a huge role in her core values. Thinking about the way I grew up, and the way I know she grew up, I never saw this coming.

Quote:

From what you are writing I get the feeling you are a solid, decent, normal guy that isn't shallow and superficial and all about appearances etc. You sound like you may be a person of substance and would like and appreciate a partner of substance too.

Right on, though this one has me thinking I have OneITIS because I'm literally mesmerized by her beauty. I've hard nexted her before due to some text messages and night life related disrespect problems in the past, and I keep letting this one get back in for some reason. She says one thing, yet her actions say another. It's frustrating!

Quote:

This is PUA site and is a lot about pick up and attracting and seducing women. you have already attracted her and had sex with her...and have continued to do so for 7 years. This is a relationship issue and the question you have to ask yourself is where do you want to be in another 7 years or even 1 year or a few months for that matter.

Not worrying myself over whether my gf is A) Going to come home B) Being honest with me C) Is complying with the monogamous agreement we've made. THAT is where I wanna be, and I just don't feel it with this girl (though I feel she tells me white lie after white lie and carefully edits the truth to make it sound more innocent).

Quote:

You have been with her for 7 years, THIS IS WHO SHE IS AND HOW SHE IS!! You can't game her or play little Jedi mind tricks on her to change her core character and change who she is.

You only have power over what you do and what you want for your life. If you were able to attract and hold an HB 10 for 7 years you are capable of finding another attractive and fit and healthy woman.

Thanks for that, but I guess my issue now is that I ask myself, "was I REALLY able to keep an HB10 attracted for 7 years? Or was it just because this HB10 was using me for 7 years while acting single on the side at times?"

Quote:

You have gained wisdom in 7 years and you know more about what traits and characteristics you want in someone. In your case you have found that while looks and HB10 status are nice, they aren't everything.

If you want more substance of character and someone that treats you better and appreciates you more for you and appreciates your core being more, go out and find her.

You're telling me! Never ever did I think that substance would matter so much when I was young, but I'm beginning to realize that looks die with age.

As far as that thread on an emotionally manipulative woman, holy shit that's a good read!

Quote:

1. She cares more for her own gratification than any of your wants or needs.

Majority of the time...

Quote:

2. She gains tremendous amounts of gratification through attention seeking behavior and emotional energy being spent on her, none of which will she GENUINELY reciprocate.

Yes!

Quote:

3. She is only capable of a parasitic type of relationship, she NEVER gives as much as or more than you do IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, it will seem very calculating down to the minutia.

I feel that this is the case... she makes it "seem" as though she's giving a lot, but in reality, all she really does is the dishes and my fucking laundry.

Quote:

When it comes to dealing with an Emotionally Manipulative Woman is that she will go to great lengths to get back into your good graces

This is RIGHT ON with my situation...

Quote:

So, all I got from this was you caught a fish and everything's congratulating you on your catch but the fish is high maintenance and regularly causes you emotional distress.

Doctor's prescription : Grill the scaly bitch.

Basically, you need to start dominating your relationship. If you are already providing everything to her, you need to start asserting that much amount of influence over her and make sure that she doesn't fight you on that.

Also, tell her what you want from her. TELL, don't ASK. Tell her to pay the bills. Otherwise, warn her of the consequences and act on them.

Show her that she's not the only pretty girl in the world, let your eye rove in front of her. She needs to realise that there are other women too whom you can be attracted to and that her position is temporary.

Right now, she's lulled into security by the fact that you're too much of a woman to actually confront her about things and why not. She is/might cheat on you because you are spineless, in her eyes at least.

Yeah, TONS of emotional distress! I haven't had all too many relationships during my life, and most of the time has been used up on this one. It sucks that I am having to deal with this kind of shit BEFORE I learned any type of PUA... Thank God a friend turned me onto this stuff a few years ago. I'm beginning to realize that this situation is really detracting from my happiness.

I mentioned at the very beginning of this post about how this week has been very interesting. The short version is that she has been VERY nice and loving this week. She's almost ALWAYS wanting to have sex, and she's all about sucking the cock too... but here's the interesting part. I had to leave for the weekend to Los Angeles for work, and a friend got in touch with me earlier tonight and told me that he saw some new pictures on Facebook of my girlfriend grinding on "some other dude" and "the other dude grinding on her too." I looked, and just thought to myself "WHAT THE FUCK?!?"

So, you can see how this confuses me... and I feel like I'm being constantly mind-fucked. She says shit like "Love you baby, good luck in LA" and yet she's out at the nightclubs with "another dude" (which I found to be my next door neighbor!!!!) pulling shots off bottles and having a wonderful time. And the worst part is that she TOLD ME that she was out at that club and she even told me WHO she was with... but what I had to find out myself is that she was acting like a total Ho when hanging out with these people whom she presented to me on a silver platter as "just the neighbors" and "why would they ever do anything to mess things up," as well as "and he stayed sober," etc. etc. etc.

Fuck. Her. Shit.

NOW WHAT?

Sincerely,

"Mind Fucked"

Author:	PokerSlot [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:25 pm ]
Post subject:	7 yr HB10 LTR "Victim Chick," or WTF? OneITIS?
Girlfriend: The Good: Girl is an HB10. Her personality varies based on who she's conversing with, i.e. She's described as "the life of the party," and is always the "center of attention." People love her because she is bubbly and flirty. She is always telling me that she loves me, and that I am important to her, but can never seem to tell me "WHY." She smiles a lot, is unbelievably attractive, and is an attention whore (you couldn't possibly give this girl too much attention!). Men are always coming up to me and complimenting me on my "good job" on my girlfriend. She has a solid background, 4-year bachelors degree, works as a Registered Nurse in a hospital, isn't in debt, parents are married and together after over 25 years, raised on a farm, and has good family values. The Bad: We are both in our mid twenties, have been dating nearly 7 years, and have a rocky past with each other. She's lied to me, stole from me, and had (at minimum) emotional relationships with other men while we were dating before. She puts me down, has a foul mouth (passed down from her parents!), and is sometimes demanding (aren't they all at times?). Just last night she told me me "sit the fuck down," when I was leaving to the gym rather than putting up with her tone. Tonality and body language are also major parts of her arsenal. She will cold shoulder me, ignore me, dirty look me, and use everything else you can imagine when she is upset with me (which, she becomes very easily) Is this because she has the power in our relationship or could she possibly be bipolar? Perhaps she just doesn't respect ME? Very rarely, if ever, does she throw a compliment my way. She won't directly tell me "You are sexy!" or "You look hot!" etc. etc. but will post gazillions of pictures of me/us on Facebook and label them "my sexi man," etc. It's like I'm being used as her front as a "good girl" when I really don't think she is as good as people view her. Rather, she has a negative attitude toward me behind closed doors. Each and EVERY time I get my haircut she tells me "they screwed it up," or "it's crooked," etc. She seems to get frustrated with me very easily too, "walk faster," "where are you going," and drills me about where I have been, "what happened last night," etc. She's notorious for becoming close to my closest friends. I view it as a way for her to get in their minds and manipulate them into trusting what she says over what I would say. She tells them to keep it "hush hush" so they don't tell me that they've been talking, which also blocks any opportunity I would have to properly defend myself from the things she says. For example, she befriended my personal trainer and told him that I have "beat her" in the past, which is entirely untrue. Now, although he still talks to me, he is giving her relationship advice to leave me and "take the dog." Also, it's extremely tough to get this girl to apologize for anything she's done wrong. I basically need to cut off communication and give her the silent SPAM to flip her from treating me like shit to telling me that she loves me and can't live without me again. i.e. The more I push her away, the nicer she is and harder she tries. In the past 3 years, I've found text messages and emails between several different men who "are just friends," (yeah right). Guys asking her to "come over baby," and shit like that. Guys complimenting her and asking her to "run away with them," etc. She eats that shit up! (again, attention whore) After every major occasion, I've booted her out of my life for at least 3 months time. The last time this happened, she started attending church and text messaged me every single day with things she had learned at church and "how sorry" she was for the things that she did to me. Situation: We live together, and actually met as roommates in college, so have almost always lived together. I'm blinded by her beauty, as well as the constant compliments that every man on earth seems to be giving me for being with such an amazingly beautiful woman with a "matching personality." Problem is, these men don't see what happens behind closed doors, and the things that have happened in the past (and seem to recur) have caused me to have serious resentment and trust issues. Earlier on, she broke up with me once or twice, and more recently, I've hard nexted her twice, only to allow her back into my life after months of zero communication. (That's a LONG story, but in a nutshell, she "found God"). Currently: She lives with me in a luxury condo here in Las Vegas (of which I pay 100% of the bills for, aside from maybe groceries and misc. items). Her biggest complaint is that we don't spend enough time together, which may be true. I own and run a business and have multiple side projects that I am working on which take time away from being "in" the relationship. I do however try to spend quality time with her whenever possible. For example, this week alone I have taken her jet-skiing, on a motorcycle ride, to the movie theater (twice) and to several dinners. Problem: I'd classify this girl as a "professional drama queen" or a "victim chick" and is either making me incredibly happy or making me the most miserable man in the world. It's a HUGE swing. I want to either A) Stop her from playing VC (victim chick) or B) Break up with her. I am a man, and I feel that this girl is manipulating and using me, but I'll be damned if she will EVER admit to it. And it's so weird, I don't really feel that she's using my for my money as much as for something else... my soul? LOL! But seriously, I cannot seem to put my finger on WHAT or WHY she would be using me when this girl could have anybody in the world. Men would pay her to fuck her, they would buy her cars, put her up (at least that's what she has me convinced of), and she chooses to stay with me? My Efforts:: I've recently asked her to start pitching in on the bills (kind of my way of seeing if she values ME or the PLACE I provide), and she refuses to pay anything to "share a room" with me. She "expects her man to take care of her," yet she does work. Even more recently, she seems to have accepted the idea, but wants a number. I have yet to receive anything. When she plays VC I try not to pay attention to it because I know that I'm just getting sucked into her shit-test game. However, she also uses this same excuse to get away from me and go out to night clubs etc. I'm just really confused right now about this chick. It's a 7-year LTR, otherwise I'd probably have thrown this one out the door by now. I do have love for this girl.

Author:	pumpington [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 2:49 pm ]
Post subject:
this seems very normal to me, you seem to be playing this like how you should, its natural, those guys comming up complitmenting you are most likely trying to see if you are indeed together so they can hit on her, when your not around she probably gets hit on alot, but i wouldn't worry or care, chances are she is used to it and totally attached to you, you are right to want her to help with the bills, and as far as the compliments go, don't worry about that at all, just be yourself, do what you want, and try not to let what she thinks get to you, she will try to manipulate and change you all the time, it is what girls do, and when they get what they want, they don't feel the same way anymore, because they fell in love with the you that they met, not the you that they want you to become, anyways good luck, in the end the choice is really yours, if you love her then you should stay with her, if you don't love her then let her go, either way this seems pretty borderline normal female behavior

Author:	here2play [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:
just because someone is pretty and sexy doesn't mean that they are the right fit for you. I think in a way you are both using each other. She may be using you for your resources and your stability and your complience in giving her what she wants but you are also using her because of the status she brings you by being so hot and the life of the party etc. She does have some very admirable traits and it doesn't sound like she has done anything terribly wrong or unforgivable so it's normal to have some positive feelings for her. She isn't necessarily a 'bad' person, she just may not be what you want in a lifepartner that you are around day in and day out all the time.....in other words she probably isn't 'the one' for you. From what you are writing I get the feeling you are a solid, decent, normal guy that isn't shallow and superficial and all about appearances etc. You sound like you may be a person of substance and would like and appreciate a partner of substance too. This is PUA site and is a lot about pick up and attracting and seducing women. you have already attracted her and had sex with her...and have continued to do so for 7 years. This is a relationship issue and the question you have to ask yourself is where do you want to be in another 7 years or even 1 year or a few months for that matter. You have been with her for 7 years, THIS IS WHO SHE IS AND HOW SHE IS!! You can't game her or play little Jedi mind tricks on her to change her core character and change who she is. You only have power over what you do and what you want for your life. If you were able to attract and hold an HB 10 for 7 years you are capable of finding another attractive and fit and healthy woman. You have gained wisdom in 7 years and you know more about what traits and characteristics you want in someone. In your case you have found that while looks and HB10 status are nice, they aren't everything. If you want more substance of character and someone that treats you better and appreciates you more for you and appreciates your core being more, go out and find her.

Author:	Mack 2.0 [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:07 pm ]
Post subject:
read this post: signs-of-an-emotionally-manipulative-woman-vt87161.html

Author:	here2play [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:51 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: read this post: signs-of-an-emotionally-manipulative-woman-vt87161.html that is a good read.

PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

7 yr HB10 LTR "Victim Chick," or WTF? OneITIS? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=96905	Page 1 of 4

Author:	peel [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:
she sounds like one of this girls that tell you to do everything for her

Author:	skills360 [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 8:01 pm ]
Post subject:
pocker slut, you are paying for a girlfriend, i am not gonna go in too much details, but i will advise you to watch this video please and your question will be answer, please take the time: also you need education get MM and david d double your dating(at least double your dating) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_yr2LDVObs

Author:	Don Draper [ Mon Jul 25, 2011 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:
So, all I got from this was you caught a fish and everything's congratulating you on your catch but the fish is high maintenance and regularly causes you emotional distress. Doctor's prescription : Grill the scaly bitch. Basically, you need to start dominating your relationship. If you are already providing everything to her, you need to start asserting that much amount of influence over her and make sure that she doesn't fight you on that. Also, tell her what you want from her. TELL, don't ASK. Tell her to pay the bills. Otherwise, warn her of the consequences and act on them. Show her that she's not the only pretty girl in the world, let your eye rove in front of her. She needs to realise that there are other women too whom you can be attracted to and that her position is temporary. Right now, she's lulled into security by the fact that you're too much of a woman to actually confront her about things and why not. She is/might cheat on you because you are spineless, in her eyes at least. While Tom Cruise was a literal prick in Magnolia he did say a few things which were gems. "Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it's a game, guys. You want to think it's not, huh? You want to think it's not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men! "

Author:	skills360 [ Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:
The problem is that is probably too late, you already allow her to get used to certain lifestyle/frame, she already push some boundaries etc... it will be super hard to change the situation, you may have to think about starting all over again with someone else/or you have to reprogram her completely, it will take a lot of time, a lot of brain washing.

Author:	PokerSlot [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:11 pm ]
Post subject:
Okay guys, I waited this out a week to see how things would play out, and I have some interesting results. First, I'd like to respond to what you've had to say... Quote: this seems very normal to me, you seem to be playing this like how you should, its natural, those guys comming up complitmenting you are most likely trying to see if you are indeed together so they can hit on her, when your not around she probably gets hit on alot, but i wouldn't worry or care, chances are she is used to it and totally attached to you, you are right to want her to help with the bills, and as far as the compliments go, don't worry about that at all, just be yourself, do what you want, and try not to let what she thinks get to you, she will try to manipulate and change you all the time, it is what girls do, and when they get what they want, they don't feel the same way anymore, because they fell in love with the you that they met, not the you that they want you to become, anyways good luck, in the end the choice is really yours, if you love her then you should stay with her, if you don't love her then let her go, either way this seems pretty borderline normal female behavior First off, yes, I agree that I am playing it like I should as far as not really caring about other guys hitting on her. It's a compliment, and I'm the one putting my dick in her right... Next, they may be hitting on her a lot, yeah... problem is this. She and I don't go out together; she goes out with her "girlfriends," and the new neighbors (which love to party btw). She's told me that she "let's guys know" that she has a boyfriend, but I don't buy it. I think she uses it more like a female PUA would, only to push douche bags away, and that she acts like she's single when she's out. I feel this based on our history when I found text messages between her and men on her cell phone. Quote: just because someone is pretty and sexy doesn't mean that they are the right fit for you. Of course, this is obvious to me. Quote: I think in a way you are both using each other. She may be using you for your resources and your stability and your complience in giving her what she wants but you are also using her because of the status she brings you by being so hot and the life of the party etc. You could be partially right. You're definitely right about her using me for money, although I have basically limited it to a roof over her head, and that is changing (though I'm on the verge of just dumping her). I partially agree with me using her for status. She's a hot ass chick and has brought me business, but it hasn't brought me anything else but that and trouble. She's a super socialite, but I don't like the majority of her friends. I'm actually beginning to wonder if she turns them against me, or if they are just genuinely shitty people. I'm honestly starting to think the first option. Would that make any sense to any of you guys? A woman who says she "loves you" but puts you down behind your back? Because I think that's what I'm dealing with, and it may be partially my fault from what I'm reading because I'm not "telling" her as much as "asking?" Quote: She does have some very admirable traits and it doesn't sound like she has done anything terribly wrong or unforgivable so it's normal to have some positive feelings for her. She isn't necessarily a 'bad' person, she just may not be what you want in a lifepartner that you are around day in and day out all the time.....in other words she probably isn't 'the one' for you. Word. She has a ton of traits that I fell in love with, but I never realized that her love of nightlife, being social, and getting attention would play such a huge role in her core values. Thinking about the way I grew up, and the way I know she grew up, I never saw this coming. Quote: From what you are writing I get the feeling you are a solid, decent, normal guy that isn't shallow and superficial and all about appearances etc. You sound like you may be a person of substance and would like and appreciate a partner of substance too. Right on, though this one has me thinking I have OneITIS because I'm literally mesmerized by her beauty. I've hard nexted her before due to some text messages and night life related disrespect problems in the past, and I keep letting this one get back in for some reason. She says one thing, yet her actions say another. It's frustrating! Quote: This is PUA site and is a lot about pick up and attracting and seducing women. you have already attracted her and had sex with her...and have continued to do so for 7 years. This is a relationship issue and the question you have to ask yourself is where do you want to be in another 7 years or even 1 year or a few months for that matter. Not worrying myself over whether my gf is A) Going to come home B) Being honest with me C) Is complying with the monogamous agreement we've made. THAT is where I wanna be, and I just don't feel it with this girl (though I feel she tells me white lie after white lie and carefully edits the truth to make it sound more innocent). Quote: You have been with her for 7 years, THIS IS WHO SHE IS AND HOW SHE IS!! You can't game her or play little Jedi mind tricks on her to change her core character and change who she is. You only have power over what you do and what you want for your life. If you were able to attract and hold an HB 10 for 7 years you are capable of finding another attractive and fit and healthy woman. Thanks for that, but I guess my issue now is that I ask myself, "was I REALLY able to keep an HB10 attracted for 7 years? Or was it just because this HB10 was using me for 7 years while acting single on the side at times?" Quote: You have gained wisdom in 7 years and you know more about what traits and characteristics you want in someone. In your case you have found that while looks and HB10 status are nice, they aren't everything. If you want more substance of character and someone that treats you better and appreciates you more for you and appreciates your core being more, go out and find her. You're telling me! Never ever did I think that substance would matter so much when I was young, but I'm beginning to realize that looks die with age. As far as that thread on an emotionally manipulative woman, holy shit that's a good read! Quote: 1. She cares more for her own gratification than any of your wants or needs. Majority of the time... Quote: 2. She gains tremendous amounts of gratification through attention seeking behavior and emotional energy being spent on her, none of which will she GENUINELY reciprocate. Yes! Quote: 3. She is only capable of a parasitic type of relationship, she NEVER gives as much as or more than you do IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, it will seem very calculating down to the minutia. I feel that this is the case... she makes it "seem" as though she's giving a lot, but in reality, all she really does is the dishes and my fucking laundry. Quote: When it comes to dealing with an Emotionally Manipulative Woman is that she will go to great lengths to get back into your good graces This is RIGHT ON with my situation... Quote: So, all I got from this was you caught a fish and everything's congratulating you on your catch but the fish is high maintenance and regularly causes you emotional distress. Doctor's prescription : Grill the scaly bitch. Basically, you need to start dominating your relationship. If you are already providing everything to her, you need to start asserting that much amount of influence over her and make sure that she doesn't fight you on that. Also, tell her what you want from her. TELL, don't ASK. Tell her to pay the bills. Otherwise, warn her of the consequences and act on them. Show her that she's not the only pretty girl in the world, let your eye rove in front of her. She needs to realise that there are other women too whom you can be attracted to and that her position is temporary. Right now, she's lulled into security by the fact that you're too much of a woman to actually confront her about things and why not. She is/might cheat on you because you are spineless, in her eyes at least. Yeah, TONS of emotional distress! I haven't had all too many relationships during my life, and most of the time has been used up on this one. It sucks that I am having to deal with this kind of shit BEFORE I learned any type of PUA... Thank God a friend turned me onto this stuff a few years ago. I'm beginning to realize that this situation is really detracting from my happiness. I mentioned at the very beginning of this post about how this week has been very interesting. The short version is that she has been VERY nice and loving this week. She's almost ALWAYS wanting to have sex, and she's all about sucking the cock too... but here's the interesting part. I had to leave for the weekend to Los Angeles for work, and a friend got in touch with me earlier tonight and told me that he saw some new pictures on Facebook of my girlfriend grinding on "some other dude" and "the other dude grinding on her too." I looked, and just thought to myself "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" So, you can see how this confuses me... and I feel like I'm being constantly mind-fucked. She says shit like "Love you baby, good luck in LA" and yet she's out at the nightclubs with "another dude" (which I found to be my next door neighbor!!!!) pulling shots off bottles and having a wonderful time. And the worst part is that she TOLD ME that she was out at that club and she even told me WHO she was with... but what I had to find out myself is that she was acting like a total Ho when hanging out with these people whom she presented to me on a silver platter as "just the neighbors" and "why would they ever do anything to mess things up," as well as "and he stayed sober," etc. etc. etc. Fuck. Her. Shit. NOW WHAT? Sincerely, "Mind Fucked"

Author:	pumpington [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Okay guys, I waited this out a week to see how things would play out, and I have some interesting results. First, I'd like to respond to what you've had to say... Quote: this seems very normal to me, you seem to be playing this like how you should, its natural, those guys comming up complitmenting you are most likely trying to see if you are indeed together so they can hit on her, when your not around she probably gets hit on alot, but i wouldn't worry or care, chances are she is used to it and totally attached to you, you are right to want her to help with the bills, and as far as the compliments go, don't worry about that at all, just be yourself, do what you want, and try not to let what she thinks get to you, she will try to manipulate and change you all the time, it is what girls do, and when they get what they want, they don't feel the same way anymore, because they fell in love with the you that they met, not the you that they want you to become, anyways good luck, in the end the choice is really yours, if you love her then you should stay with her, if you don't love her then let her go, either way this seems pretty borderline normal female behavior First off, yes, I agree that I am playing it like I should as far as not really caring about other guys hitting on her. It's a compliment, and I'm the one putting my dick in her right... Next, they may be hitting on her a lot, yeah... problem is this. She and I don't go out together; she goes out with her "girlfriends," and the new neighbors (which love to party btw). She's told me that she "let's guys know" that she has a boyfriend, but I don't buy it. I think she uses it more like a female PUA would, only to push douche bags away, and that she acts like she's single when she's out. I feel this based on our history when I found text messages between her and men on her cell phone. Quote: just because someone is pretty and sexy doesn't mean that they are the right fit for you. Of course, this is obvious to me. Quote: I think in a way you are both using each other. She may be using you for your resources and your stability and your complience in giving her what she wants but you are also using her because of the status she brings you by being so hot and the life of the party etc. You could be partially right. You're definitely right about her using me for money, although I have basically limited it to a roof over her head, and that is changing (though I'm on the verge of just dumping her). I partially agree with me using her for status. She's a hot ass chick and has brought me business, but it hasn't brought me anything else but that and trouble. She's a super socialite, but I don't like the majority of her friends. I'm actually beginning to wonder if she turns them against me, or if they are just genuinely shitty people. I'm honestly starting to think the first option. Would that make any sense to any of you guys? A woman who says she "loves you" but puts you down behind your back? Because I think that's what I'm dealing with, and it may be partially my fault from what I'm reading because I'm not "telling" her as much as "asking?" Quote: She does have some very admirable traits and it doesn't sound like she has done anything terribly wrong or unforgivable so it's normal to have some positive feelings for her. She isn't necessarily a 'bad' person, she just may not be what you want in a lifepartner that you are around day in and day out all the time.....in other words she probably isn't 'the one' for you. Word. She has a ton of traits that I fell in love with, but I never realized that her love of nightlife, being social, and getting attention would play such a huge role in her core values. Thinking about the way I grew up, and the way I know she grew up, I never saw this coming. Quote: From what you are writing I get the feeling you are a solid, decent, normal guy that isn't shallow and superficial and all about appearances etc. You sound like you may be a person of substance and would like and appreciate a partner of substance too. Right on, though this one has me thinking I have OneITIS because I'm literally mesmerized by her beauty. I've hard nexted her before due to some text messages and night life related disrespect problems in the past, and I keep letting this one get back in for some reason. She says one thing, yet her actions say another. It's frustrating! Quote: This is PUA site and is a lot about pick up and attracting and seducing women. you have already attracted her and had sex with her...and have continued to do so for 7 years. This is a relationship issue and the question you have to ask yourself is where do you want to be in another 7 years or even 1 year or a few months for that matter. Not worrying myself over whether my gf is A) Going to come home B) Being honest with me C) Is complying with the monogamous agreement we've made. THAT is where I wanna be, and I just don't feel it with this girl (though I feel she tells me white lie after white lie and carefully edits the truth to make it sound more innocent). Quote: You have been with her for 7 years, THIS IS WHO SHE IS AND HOW SHE IS!! You can't game her or play little Jedi mind tricks on her to change her core character and change who she is. You only have power over what you do and what you want for your life. If you were able to attract and hold an HB 10 for 7 years you are capable of finding another attractive and fit and healthy woman. Thanks for that, but I guess my issue now is that I ask myself, "was I REALLY able to keep an HB10 attracted for 7 years? Or was it just because this HB10 was using me for 7 years while acting single on the side at times?" Quote: You have gained wisdom in 7 years and you know more about what traits and characteristics you want in someone. In your case you have found that while looks and HB10 status are nice, they aren't everything. If you want more substance of character and someone that treats you better and appreciates you more for you and appreciates your core being more, go out and find her. You're telling me! Never ever did I think that substance would matter so much when I was young, but I'm beginning to realize that looks die with age. As far as that thread on an emotionally manipulative woman, holy shit that's a good read! Quote: 1. She cares more for her own gratification than any of your wants or needs. Majority of the time... Quote: 2. She gains tremendous amounts of gratification through attention seeking behavior and emotional energy being spent on her, none of which will she GENUINELY reciprocate. Yes! Quote: 3. She is only capable of a parasitic type of relationship, she NEVER gives as much as or more than you do IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, it will seem very calculating down to the minutia. I feel that this is the case... she makes it "seem" as though she's giving a lot, but in reality, all she really does is the dishes and my fucking laundry. Quote: When it comes to dealing with an Emotionally Manipulative Woman is that she will go to great lengths to get back into your good graces This is RIGHT ON with my situation... Quote: So, all I got from this was you caught a fish and everything's congratulating you on your catch but the fish is high maintenance and regularly causes you emotional distress. Doctor's prescription : Grill the scaly bitch. Basically, you need to start dominating your relationship. If you are already providing everything to her, you need to start asserting that much amount of influence over her and make sure that she doesn't fight you on that. Also, tell her what you want from her. TELL, don't ASK. Tell her to pay the bills. Otherwise, warn her of the consequences and act on them. Show her that she's not the only pretty girl in the world, let your eye rove in front of her. She needs to realise that there are other women too whom you can be attracted to and that her position is temporary. Right now, she's lulled into security by the fact that you're too much of a woman to actually confront her about things and why not. She is/might cheat on you because you are spineless, in her eyes at least. Yeah, TONS of emotional distress! I haven't had all too many relationships during my life, and most of the time has been used up on this one. It sucks that I am having to deal with this kind of shit BEFORE I learned any type of PUA... Thank God a friend turned me onto this stuff a few years ago. I'm beginning to realize that this situation is really detracting from my happiness. I mentioned at the very beginning of this post about how this week has been very interesting. The short version is that she has been VERY nice and loving this week. She's almost ALWAYS wanting to have sex, and she's all about sucking the cock too... but here's the interesting part. I had to leave for the weekend to Los Angeles for work, and a friend got in touch with me earlier tonight and told me that he saw some new pictures on Facebook of my girlfriend grinding on "some other dude" and "the other dude grinding on her too." I looked, and just thought to myself "WHAT THE FUCK?!?" So, you can see how this confuses me... and I feel like I'm being constantly mind-fucked. She says shit like "Love you baby, good luck in LA" and yet she's out at the nightclubs with "another dude" (which I found to be my next door neighbor!!!!) pulling shots off bottles and having a wonderful time. And the worst part is that she TOLD ME that she was out at that club and she even told me WHO she was with... but what I had to find out myself is that she was acting like a total Ho when hanging out with these people whom she presented to me on a silver platter as "just the neighbors" and "why would they ever do anything to mess things up," as well as "and he stayed sober," etc. etc. etc. Fuck. Her. Shit. NOW WHAT? Sincerely, "Mind Fucked" LOL WTF SOMETIMES SHE DOESN'T COME HOME?, nah dude, that is bad fucking news

Author:	Lodewijkp [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:22 pm ]
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one of my ex-girlfriends was a psychologist .. she tried to manipulate every detail.. it took me one years to recover .. yes she was hot , yes she had a high status job and yes she had high social status... don't expect things ... don't always try to see the good sides. if people are like 90 % evil you shouldn't focus on that positive 10%. dump her ass ... really ... this is the type of girl that has already took several guys behind the dumpster that feeling you get when you are being manipulated or used .. i have that same feeling when i meet new girls that aren't attracted but hang out with me because im fun. celebrate this intuitive feeling because it's really handy when you deal with woman - because you know when they are using you or not. i can type a real story about what or who is wrong ... you are a real man ... i expect you to do one thing... when she's going to her work ... or a night out ... change the locks on the doors do not let her grab any clothes or other material possesions... let her on the street without anything...how do you feel about doing that ? just visualize all the shit she has done to you .... now visualize putting new locks on the doors .. tell yourself it's time to gain back control and to be 100% man again. perhaps you own it to yourself ? i mean WTF is this shit dude ... WTF ... you already know she hooked up with different guys .. you know it .. you know she doesn't love you , she is just using you. Because you know her for seven years you love her too much ? real love is timeless .. it doesn't have anything to do with time. you are not a lover .. you are her provider ... like i have said before .. change locks on the doors , delete her number .. delete everything about her and never contact her again. you have come at this point ... you don't want to go into relationship theraphy and hear about all that guys she fucked... you don't want to waste your time and money on that. you are going to break up .. it's inevatable.. you might as dump her now because this way you don't have be tortured one day longer.... the longer you stay with that piece of garbage the more time it takes to recover. and yes she will fuck other dudes when you dump her .. she will post shit on her facebook - WAKE UP ! she already does this kind of shit , she is so maniputive CUT OF CONTACT. i love her ... YEAH WELL GUESS WHAT .. you are a mature man and nothing is easy.. in business and life you have to make hard choices but those hard times is what makes us grow.

Author:	DJ_Z [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:29 pm ]
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Quote: one of my ex-girlfriends was a psychologist .. she tried to manipulate every detail.. it took me one year to recover from it. don't expect things ... don't always try to see the good sides. if people are like 90 % evil you shouldn't focus on that positive 10%. dump her ass ... really ... this is the type of girl that has already took several guys behind the dumpster And that's just last night. Lode's exactly right, dude. Don't look on the bright side or you'll choose to ignore all the BS. To get a little philosophical, love is a crazy emotion that can only exist in mutuality. If you love someone, and they don't love you back, then it isn't real love. It may be lust, dependence, or remembering the good old days, but it isnt healthy, sustainable love. Just tell her its over. Don't be a dick about it, don't make out with another girl in front of her to make her jealous, just be honest. It's only hurting you in the long run to pretend that this is still a relationship between equals because she does not appear to see it that way.

Author:	PokerSlot [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 5:50 pm ]
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And what to do about the neighbor...? I live in a high-rise with a roommate, and I share a balcony with this neighbor (who is very socially connected in Vegas). I was strategizing with a friend and we thought up that the best thing to do would be to basically tell him "so I go out of town, and this shit happens?" then basically tell him that he is not to talk to her, text her, invite her to his parties and that he'd be asking for trouble if he did. My friend thinks I should roll with my piece in my back for an overdramatic effect upon exit, but I disagree and she sure as fuck is not worth it. Thoughts on how to handle my neighbor??? He knows that he shouldn't be hanging out with her when I'm not there... and he knows DAMN WELL that his roommate/employee shouldn't be grinding on a taken woman like that. As far as telling her it's over. You can't just do that with an emotionally manipulative woman. Read that link that was posted above. They keep coming back for more, and go to GREAT LENGTHS to get back what they had. If I just "tell her it's over" and "don't be a dick" she won't get the point. I've been doing this for what seems like weeks now and she doesn't take me seriously, aka she doesn't respect me (obv). So, also as far as changing the locks and tossing all her shit into a storage garage or whatever... I'm leaning more toward this than anything. I do have a roommate that she WILL certainly try to con into letting her "grab some things," because she's so manipulative and will push him over like a bulldozer does a house. I'll tell him she is NOT to come in, but I can only control what happens when I'm present.

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Author:	phangan [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:40 pm ]
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Please please please I'm begging you I had a similar story... 9 years. It's hard to see things clearly from the inside. Your emotions cloud your judgment. I knew that she is bad news but I was living in denial. Only after I dumped her the truth came out - she was fucking behind my back. This is a girl who would tell me that she loves me about 30 times a day. Trust your gut feeling. Listen to what all of us are telling you - she isn't good inside. Dump her.