what R.C. said and here is the link for the newbie mission
general-questions/topic41556.html
oh and listen to me.
, seriously tho if you ask a question listen to the people giving you advice.....
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| Author: | Sicilianpride [ Wed Jul 06, 2016 2:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | New to the community and need help! |
Hello all, I am new to all of this and I don't really know if this is the right place to post this but please hear me out: I need help. It is simple as that. I am a 21 year old male, going to be a senior in college. This is my story: I am not the tallest guy, ~ 5'8' (curse of the italian genes), have great build and I am a good looking guy. I am studying env. science at my school, not really sure what I want to do in my life after I graduate. I had a girlfriend of 3 years, from highschool and then into college where it ended my sophomore year. She was the only gf I ever had and she was a good looking girl, but she was manipulative and in the end, she really did a number on my self- esteem and confidence. She is the only gf I had since then, and I personally feel like I have been in a rut since then. I haven't told many people this, because I feel like a pussy to bring it up to my friends. I workout, dress nice when needed and keep my self well groomed but when It comes to talking to a random girl I have never met before, I freak out mentally and imagine a 1 million things that could wrong and never end up doing it. When I go out with my friends it's fine, because they are great wing men but I am getting to the point that I am frustrated (AFC) and need to do this on my own. I love people and going out, but I freeze up every time I try to talk to a random girl at a bar. I read the The Game a few months ago, and it really inspired me - it blew my mind. It's not like I can't pull girls, I have one night stands here and there but I know I can do better. I am so god damn frustrated seeing these beautiful women, I envy these guys that can just get beautiful women like it's nothing. I am so mad at my - self for not being able to get over this confidence factor that I am willing to do whatever it takes to pull the most incredible women in my life and be better a social conversations. Guys, I am really trying to change my life; I am ordering books that are PUA style and self- help books such as Tony Robbins and others. I am even going as far as to not beat off until I pull a girl. I am fully committed and I have a fire in my belly to do this. I am done with being the guy that just sits there and awes at the guy who gets the girls - I want to be that guy who pulls any girl he wants whenever. I am not ashamed at all to be here, in fact, I am looking forward to all your advice and things to learn. I am changing my life for the better and I want to succeed. I am from the NYC area, and if anyone is a PUA and is willing to let me be their apprentice, help a brother out! I want to learn as much as I can, I am done with this bs of being an AFC, I want this and nothing more. Cheers, Sicilianpride |
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| Author: | R.C [ Wed Jul 06, 2016 7:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
You're a newbie, so here's the rules: #1. Stop reading books. Read only one book. Models by Mark Manson. It's the single and only one you'll ever need. (you might wanna get the audio version. Mark reads it himself) #2. Do the newbie missions. #3. Don't read other books. Seriously. The more you read the more you'll confuse and hence convince yourself you need to read more. And you'll end up in a circle of mental masturbation. Simple, yeah? Read models and while doing so, do the newbie mission. |
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| Author: | Sicilianpride [ Wed Jul 06, 2016 4:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
Thanks mate, cheers to that. When you mean newbie missions, do you mean sarging? Still getting used to new terms/slang on this site. Your link was fucking rad, I am going to re-read it again and again and see what I have to focus on. I am going out to the beach this weekend to surf, I surf every weekend and my dream girl for me is the girl who is beautiful and is keen to wake up at 5 am to hit the surf and then bang on the boards after. I am ordering that book! Cheers, Sicilianpride |
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| Author: | Mr. Assertive [ Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
what R.C. said and here is the link for the newbie mission general-questions/topic41556.html oh and listen to me. , seriously tho if you ask a question listen to the people giving you advice.....
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| Author: | Autoregressive [ Thu Jul 07, 2016 5:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
I found this old summary that I wrote of why guys fail with girls about half a decade ago, and might as well post it here, since I think it has some relevant points: ====================================================================== Why Guys Fail - Age 22+ (some younger males are exempt from a few of these till they hit 22 and/or graduate college) Some combination of: Unfit (average US male age 30 bodyfat is 27%) or average fitness level at best Poor dress, styling and hygiene (cheap/poor-fitting clothing, bad habits, laziness, no money for quality self-care) *Above 2 = not maximizing looks where they really count Under-educated (no college degree, useless degree or degree from lackluster college) Un-driven/unambitious (lack of passion and/or no career aspirations .. possibly connected to the above .. inability to explain your work in an interesting way) Boring (no worldly knowledge, no interesting hobbies/interests/skills and no ability to make them interesting to others .. video games, sports, internet crap doesn't count) *Above 3 = likely low income earner = low or no options to explore new things and share the experiences with others ; unable to afford high quality clothing All of the above = lack of TRUE confidence/charisma/charm/inability to show emotions or escalate sexually ; lack of romance skills PUA participants falsely believe they have the above - when they really do not - which leads to fake confidence, arrogance, desperation and illusions of grandeur **Lack of respectable career and/or social circle limits quality dating pool (pre-selection missing) ; meeting complete strangers often results in flakes due to low interest Therefore they are generally unattractive potential mates, lacking the qualities which naturally attract women If you had many of these traits - you would naturally attract women through basic human interactions They put interactions with women as a priority over enjoying their work and other life activities They are clueless about what they want in a female partner and/or only value relatively superficial aspects of women They are just "average Joes" … but have unrealistically high expectations for a female partner ====================================================================== And some of these squarely apply to you. First of all, your lack choosing a career path will severely limit you in many ways .. all related chain-wise: no clear idea of where you want to be in the future = sign to a girl you might not be a stable partner (if she and/or you want a relationship) ... and then crappy potential income = limit your ability to dress/groom well and limit your ability to explore things which require money, constantly put you under stress and trash your TRUE confidence. You're also doing the massive mistake of squandering your last ability to find a girl without having to do the bullshit cold-approaches (referring to your interest in bar gaming). You are in college, which means you can meet and get to know girls long before you even ask them out on a date, to gauge how much you like them and how much they like you. Seriously, dinner and all the BS is not required. Get to know them via traditional "hanging out" and before you know if you're going to be hanging out alone in a bedroom somewhere, alone with her, on a Friday night, sipping Margaritas. Then you'll be "hanging out" in a nearby bed shortly after. |
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| Author: | Sarging Pepper [ Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
Dude: " I am so mad at my - self for not being able to get over this confidence factor that I am willing " Confidence needs to come from inner peace, I know it sounds clingy but, love yourself first, learn to realize how amazing you are in every way, no one can be like you, don´t push confidence or you will just get even more frustrated. Bing attractive or rich can give you another type of confidence, a fake one in my opinion. If you feel good about yourself you will have self esteem and you will project that to people no matter what. & also don´t put pussy on a pedestal, let it flow, brotha. |
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| Author: | Autoregressive [ Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
Quote: learn to realize how amazing you are in every way, no one can be like you,
And how in the world are you supposed to pull this off without deluding yourself?
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| Author: | Sarging Pepper [ Thu Jul 07, 2016 6:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
Quote: Quote: learn to realize how amazing you are in every way, no one can be like you,
And how in the world are you supposed to pull this off without deluding yourself?Yes, you will have to delude yourself along the way, you need to feed your ego and think yourself as a trophy to be won for girls you are trying to pick up, right? |
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| Author: | R.C [ Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New to the community and need help! |
Quote: Thanks mate, cheers to that. When you mean newbie missions, do you mean sarging? Still getting used to new terms/slang on this site. Your link was fucking rad, I am going to re-read it again and again and see what I have to focus on. I am going out to the beach this weekend to surf, I surf every weekend and my dream girl for me is the girl who is beautiful and is keen to wake up at 5 am to hit the surf and then bang on the boards after. I am ordering that book!
Don't worry about it. Most of the slang is outdated and cringy. The term you're looking for is "talking to girls". Cheers, Sicilianpride But yeah, Mr A. linked you the newbie mission. It's a good way to step out of your comfort zone. |
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