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rizkay
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 23 Jul 2009
Posts: 51
Reputation: 10.9  
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 Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:21 pm Post subject: zero social proof |
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| So basically my problem is zero social proof. There are multiple reasons for this, but briefly: long-term, long-distance girlfriends, a previous job taking up all my free time even on weekends, and most notably, becoming antisocial/losing my game after becoming single for the first time in 7+ yrs. I’m 30, I have a job, work out regularly, have been lead singer in rock bands and am a musician. All that sounds good on paper. But I don’t know anyone – zero – people in my city anymore. I’ve heard a lot of advice saying ‘ask your friends to critique your approaches’ and things of that nature. I don’t have that possibility right now. The girls I do approach – it’s all day game type scenarios. I’ve had a little success since I started learning about social dynamics and game, but the thing I run into is I can’t do lighthearted things like tell girls to meet me and my friends out somewhere, etc. Eventually, the question of 'where are your friends' always comes up. I was recently on a date with a girl on a Friday night and she asked me 'what would you be doing now if you weren't out with me'. Of course I told her Fridays are my bank robbery night, but you see what I'm getting at here. Lack of knowing peeps has definitely deterred girls – I can tell. I’ve been around the block and have pretty good intuition about low value… I’m demonstrating a lot of that right now in the social realm. The obvious solution is joining some groups (just started joining some meetups), but I’m wondering if anyone else has dug themselves out of this situation. |
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speed3770
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 22 Sep 2009
Posts: 46
Location: SWEDEN
Reputation: 10.6
votes: 1
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| Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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isn't it simple?
make some friends.
strike a conversation with someone who looks fun, cool, or wtv. It's really the easiest thing in the world, just talk, then have a beer with them.
funny thing is, i saw a movie on a guy with similar problems to you, but on a totally exaggerated scale, *I love you, man* might help. |
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xilosen
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 30 Sep 2009
Posts: 7
Location: Austin, TX
Reputation: 2.6
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| Posted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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I have a similar problem... I don't even know how to make friends. 
Didn't make any in college either... |
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havocc
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 11 May 2009
Posts: 38
Reputation: 24.2
votes: 2
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| Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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Its hard for me to imagine you have no old friends you used to hang out with in your city. But if thats the case let it be a lesson to you to not shut out meeting new people or hanging out with friends just because you have a girlfriend.
Next ask your self what you like doing and try to meet new people that way. For example, I met guys at the gym by asking them for a spot and talking with them from there. Since your a musician find other people and go listen, sing or play with them. Go have drinks with people at your job if thats possible. You just have to make an effort and put yourself out there if you reallly want to improve your social life. |
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rizkay
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 23 Jul 2009
Posts: 51
Reputation: 10.9
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| Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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good advice. trust me, it is pretty hard to imagine for me too, but is quite true. everyone i know is spread out in a radius of many hundreds of miles.
all i can say is i'm glad i came to and woke up from this stupor of prioritizing spending time with girls over *all* other aspects of my life. |
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