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TRS
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Joined: 26 Nov 2007
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 Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 3:58 pm Post subject: You neg and she hits back ... Need help |
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You tell her that she doesn't have that many things going for her. She reponds by telling you that at least she has some things going for her.
What would you say to that? |
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Zdiddy
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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| To be honest I am no expert here but to me that sounded a little harsh. Am I wrong? Also were you smiling , or making it seem like you were joking? Cause if you looked serious that might be why she took it harshly! |
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r34ct
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Joined: 30 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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I've had similar problems with negs. She'd respond with "that's not nice!  " Seemed as if they would rather be full out hit on with compliments (cuz that's what they're expecting), and me negging had totally shocked them. Maybe they weren't hot enough. I didn't know what to respond with, so I just said "Haha I'm just fucking around" which I think is horrible because it's like me apolagizing...ugh.
Any ideas here? |
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TRS
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 11:38 pm Post subject: |
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| r34ct wrote: | | I've had similar problems with negs. She'd respond with "that's not nice! " Seemed as if they would rather be full out hit on with compliments (cuz that's what they're expecting), and me negging had totally shocked them. Maybe they weren't hot enough. I didn't know what to respond with, so I just said "Haha I'm just fucking around" which I think is horrible because it's like me apolagizing...ugh. |
Yup, I was smiling ... In the same convo, she said "You're mean" in response to another comment I made. Later I found out from a mutual friend that her ex was an AFC.
I didn't apologize, and we're still talking but I wasn't expecting that response from her. I guess I gotta make sure that she knows that I'm joking around a little bit at least.
She's an HB9 too so maybe sometimes even negging isn't the best option with girls like that ... |
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Reverie
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Joined: 09 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 11:35 am Post subject: |
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| The usage of the neg is to pick at either apparent or imaginary 'blemishes', not to bring down their entire notion of themselves. Your initial neg was far too broad and hurtful, choose a smaller perhaps more cosmetic aspect to neg next time. |
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Hobbit
PUA Forum Leader
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
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Location: The Shire
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Absurdify!!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up in the video section. |
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venenà
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 12:24 pm Post subject: Re: You neg and she hits back ... Need help |
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| TRS wrote: | You tell her that she doesn't have that many things going for her. She reponds by telling you that at least she has some things going for her.
What would you say to that? |
negging, should be something between a compliment and not, and it should be well timed and it shoud "fit" the girl, ex if she has huge boobs and wearing a XS t-shirt then you will say: that t-shirt is so cute, my litle sister have the same one  |
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Mr. Attraction
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Joined: 11 Mar 2008
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Location: From Ireland, In UNI in Florida!
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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That wasnt a neg my good man that was an insult!!  |
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Selective
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Joined: 20 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject: I agree with Mr. A |
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I think if you could have added a list of things that weren't going for her...
-your t-shirt shrunk in the wasther and now it can barely hold those things in
-you're semi-fun
-you have too many nice guys following you around like dogs
-you have on the same shirt that my grandma wears to bingo!
-you're on a diet so you can't eat anything awesome
but i think if you said even the original thing in a very funny&cocky way it could have worked. If she has a shield up, I think you have to plough through - saying awwww.. that's cute the way you care about my life! hahahahaha You're silly!
Sometimes you have to break through by shocking..
that might help |
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theredbandit
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 1:56 am Post subject: |
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| I deffinetly think that the initial neg is an insult. i have been doing a lot of cocky funny lately and i think the most important thing about a neg is to analyze the girl ur telling it too. what is her personality? if she is quiet you have to make it very obvious that your neg is OBVIOUSLY you trying to be funny, if she is more outgoing she will respond to a harsher neg. do u understand what i mean? |
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mcslut4
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| Posted: Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:56 am Post subject: |
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| r34ct wrote: | I've had similar problems with negs. She'd respond with "that's not nice! " Seemed as if they would rather be full out hit on with compliments (cuz that's what they're expecting), and me negging had totally shocked them. Maybe they weren't hot enough. I didn't know what to respond with, so I just said "Haha I'm just fucking around" which I think is horrible because it's like me apolagizing...ugh.
Any ideas here? |
okay, a few things i say to recover from a neg that may have been a little too much
1) ahh come on, you now as long as i'm bustin your balls i care
2) when you land the neg, recover with something along the lines, thats what i like about you, (you: wow ur such a band geek, her: hey thats not nice, you: but hey, that what i like about you!)
on the note of saying shes got nothing going for her, and she recovers herself saying shes got some things, simply ask "like what" and let her prove herself to you, or congratulate her (it like giving a treat to a dog for doing a good job) mind you that these can only be done if you haven't seriously offended her |
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Gref
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| Posted: Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:03 am Post subject: |
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| Are you sure it wasn't a shit test? |
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Orann
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| Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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| r34ct wrote: | I've had similar problems with negs. She'd respond with "that's not nice! " Seemed as if they would rather be full out hit on with compliments (cuz that's what they're expecting), and me negging had totally shocked them. Maybe they weren't hot enough. I didn't know what to respond with, so I just said "Haha I'm just fucking around" which I think is horrible because it's like me apolagizing...ugh.
Any ideas here? |
I handle this by saying something like:
"Relax, I'm kidding. Dont take things so seriously"
Say it playfully with a smile on your face while punching her arm and it generally goes down well. |
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1.618
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| Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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If your fluent enough they wont have time too neg or shit test back. Mystery teaches to 'Throw and Go' throw the Neg and get straight back into conversation with someone else in the group before she can reply.
Also if you use the same negs a lot you'll get used to the responses and can have some material prepared to counter, think ahead. |
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Wolfgang
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| Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Orann wrote: | | r34ct wrote: | I've had similar problems with negs. She'd respond with "that's not nice! " Seemed as if they would rather be full out hit on with compliments (cuz that's what they're expecting), and me negging had totally shocked them. Maybe they weren't hot enough. I didn't know what to respond with, so I just said "Haha I'm just fucking around" which I think is horrible because it's like me apolagizing...ugh.
Any ideas here? |
I handle this by saying something like:
"Relax, I'm kidding. Dont take things so seriously"
Say it playfully with a smile on your face while punching her arm and it generally goes down well. |
agreed... if things do go that way just respond by saying (in a playful tone) "relax darling... whats happened to ur sense of humour? i guess i was wrong about you  " that sorta thing will quickly change the subject and she'll ask something like "what were you wrong about?" or something along that way and then u can move on to the next topic... |
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