Hi

I'm really struggling ith this 27yo HB9. What I know is that she's a from a small town, has only had like 3 BFs ever but otherwise she's a sweet and fun party girl.

Here is the deal. We met 4 times so far: 3 times through same social circle and once planned at my place yesterday. She seems to like me a lot, I've used push-pull and false disqualifications mostly so far, and I'm massively building comfort.

Day 2: We ended up kissing all night.

Day 3 (4 months after day2): We ended up in her bed she was just wearing her panties and riding my cock but no actual sex. She wouldn't let me.

Day 4 (2 days after day3): We were in bed totally naked, I was fingering her and doing everything I could... I was using all my experience to break LMR but I couldn't!! The only thing is didn't do was raping her, except for that I used everything I could ever think of.

She's saying she's not that kinda easy girl and we've already made so much progress and she's having the hardest time to withold herself. She says she doesn't want me to just fuck her and leave her....

How do I close her? Any help is appriciated.

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"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

It sounds to me like what she is saying is pretty truthful, she has probably had people sleep with her and then use it to gain dirt on her/make her look bad in the past and with you sharing social circles this gives her a lot to worry about. You have to be reassuring to her, don't bad mouth any ex's or other girls you have been with around her (as this may make her think it'll be what you'll say to others about her). Be tactful though, if you have no intention of carrying on seeing her after... it's really not cool to tell her you will. There's a fine line between making out that you're not a player etc and being AFC showing too much interest in one girl.

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'Be who you are and say what you feel; because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind'

She's probably wanting a relationship, and you just have to show her she can trust you. Obviously she has scars she sounds like some i've known they can be crazy if you do plan to just leave her once you seal the deal

I semi-disagree with the above two posts. Now while it is obvious she doesn't want you to just fuck her and leave her, guess what, most girls in the world don't want that either.

Whether she is doing this to fuck with you or because she actually likes you, i don't know. Essentially she is teasing you. She's 27 she knows exactly what she's doing.
When she says she doesn't want to sleep with you because she is scared you'll leave her, she is basically judging you.

So you flip it back on her. You tell her I can't believe you would think of me like that. I can't believe your judging me. Telling her your nothing like that

Thanks you guys for sharing your opinions. Yeah, I think she is totally girlfriend material, someone that you don't have to worry about cheating at least

So I think having sex would be a big step forward, regardless where this whole thing leads.

I agree with you guys, she is qualifing me.

But how do I quailfy her? How do I progress toward a realtionship if I want to, without being clingy? Should I take a step back or should I accept her terms and keep "proving myself" so that she knows that I'm "boyfriend material"?

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

[quote="kadak8"] Yeah, I think she is totally girlfriend material, someone that you don't have to worry about cheating at least :)quote]

It seems like in your first post you wanted to simply close her, now you are super into having a relationship with this girl. If you're actually trying to just close her, I agree with the above post. Flip it on her, let her know you're still in control and she doesn't label you. It sounds like you want something more tho.

by the way, i quote that line because its just hilarious haha

Don't focus on having actual penetrative sex like its some sort of goal that will make everything better. Your first time will set the bar - do you want it to be average? She doesn't - that's why she's holding back.

That is a big compliment, because there are other guys she'd rather fuck and then leave. You're special.

Just focus on the good things that are happening. She's comfortable beig naked with you, and oral sex. You can do a lot with that - skinny dipping in a lake where you might get caught - that's really romantic and also really hot. That's also the kind of situation that would make a great first time and she'd be willing to go ahead with that.

I like what I am hearing. Its a great problem you have. I have had a similar experience.

I will add a few practical notes.

1) Never try to have unprotected sex first up. Show you are responsible (ie subtly let her know you have protection)

2) Give her an orgasm (Tounge or fingers only) (usually she will beg for it after that)

3) When the time is right, you will know, no need to ask or beat around the bush.

4) Keep eye contact where you can, make sure vocal tone is smooth and sexual, your touch must be appropriate. (Try whispering dirty sweet nothing in her ear)

5) Don't seek approval, keep it playful. (Eye's touch and tone are key to the barriers falling)

Please do not do this if your intentions aren't good. The last thing you want to do is verify her fears if you know them and then exploit. I can't stand scumbag pua's.

My motto is if it doesn't work with me and any HB I want to leave her better than when we met.

gotta manage her expectations and call her out on her shit, just don't do it from the point of explaining yourself, do it from the point of putting the pressure on her, ''are you saying im the kind of guy that would just hookup with a girl and never see her again?''

also have you addressed asd issues with her since she is connected to you socially?,
-non judgemental (sluts don't exist double standard etc.)
-discression
-don't have sti's
-picky about who you sleep with
-sex is no big deal

The reason why I asked you guys to help me with f-closing is that I might want to make her my GF. I'll just have to evaluate and qualify her for that first But having sex would surely be a huge step forward towards a relationship too!

BTW- We haven't had oral sex, all I did was fingering her. And kissing obviously

Some months ago I wanted to make some other girl my GF and I totally cut back on sexuality (totally not me BTW). Had too many "classical dates" like coffee shops, bowling, drinking in a pub. I was going so slow I never even f-closed her!! It turned out horrible, I came off as a loser I guess, and she dumpled as hell.

g-force: that's a great motto!

So basically I shoud:
-not bad mouth my exes
-take it easy, empathizing that I'm not a sexual predator
-keep the sexual tension going
-call her on her shit, and also ask her 'are you saying im the kind of guy that would just hookup with a girl and never see her again?''
-tackle ASD (and also not to tell anyone anything about her within our social circle)
-build rapport and comfort
-qualify her (asking her about her vaules too)

As for the sex is no big deal thing: I told her quite the opposite actually.. like, there are only a few ppl you have sex with tru your life and it really is a strong emotional bond blah blah.... So I'll have to stick with this for now on.
The reason for that is becasue for girls in the double or even triple digits(!) having sex is like selling a cheesburger for Mcdonald's... no big deal, doesn't make a difference.
But she's quite the oppsosite, she didn't have many partners, so it is a big deal for her. And I'm not a cheesburger either... I'm a Royal with Cheese

Should I tell her that I'm looking for a relationship? I know it could look too needy but would eliminate her thoughts of me as a player. Or should I wait till she asks me what I want (if she does)?

I'm meeting her tonight at her place, she's making me dinner.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

You didn't really understand my last post. Sex isn't just sticking your dick in, it's everything else around it that which makes it what it is when it happens. And you're devaluing everything else around it. How is fingering not oral sex?

Everything else is in the right place and your excessive worrying will ruin that.

It's easy to want to overcompensate after you've identified a problem, I've done that many times. While you're doing well now, the way you're talking sounds like you're too much in a rush to go the other extreme, faster than she's ready.

She likes you, she will have sex with you eventually, everything is going well. Stop wining about "how do I get her to have sex with me?" it'll happen, sheesh. Just keep things going the way they are and you won't have to convince her to have sex with you, her legs will literally spread for you. That's the best way. Shows you're not desperate, and she wants to have sex with YOU, not the other way around, that's really powerful.

It was so great

Thanks a lot guys, you've been a great help!!! I especially used Conker's advice, with going easy and I used the 7 points I listed prevoiusly.

She was so cute at the very very LMR: I was on top of her, both of us naked... and she asked me "are you sure we should do this?"

Than we had sex 2 times during the night and in the morning again. Not just sex but really making love... She fell asleep in my arms. She told me that I was the 4th one in her life to ever have sex with (even if I double that number, that's not a lot at all).

There is something I made up: I sometimes like to ask girls to count how many times they think of me so I asked her to do that... I sent her a text mssg yesterday kinda reminding her of that (she wrote me back the she was doing ot but I should so that sasme too) but I went no contact today.... I don't know if this was right or wrong,,, What do you guys think?? She didin't text or call me either.

I'm really looking to see her again. I just think that I might have to be careful with being needy...

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky