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Iceyun
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 15
Location: Greenbelt, Maryland
Reputation: 0.7  
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 Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:39 am Post subject: What Do You Think? Help me out here. |
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I meet this chick on the bus, first and for-most she was not a HB. I was just trying to talk to someone to kill my time while riding the bus. So anyhow this girl was sitting right across from me and she pulled out a book " how to turn your zodiac into a love potion". So I moved from my seat and sat next to her and said "Hi!" her reply was "Hi!" but in a rude manner with a big BS, I stood my grounds with her and said "whats wrong with you? why you got to answer me like that, did i do something wrong to you?"
With-in her BS mood she said " I am just tired." so I changed the topic and said "thats quite an interesting book your reading" and in a Bitchy rude voice she said "what about my book?" my reply was "all that i am saying its an interesting book" and before she said anything i turned my back towards her.  . With in 15mins of the ride she had on her mp3 player.
I had talked to other females about this matter and they told me that I got into her space.
An other female told me that sometimes females don't like for others to read what they are reading.
And the list goes on and on.
So what am I asking? I want a male and female point of view on this. Did I move to fast? or was she just being out of line?
Let me know what you think.  |
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BigJonMud
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Posts: 25
Reputation: 9.4
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| Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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According to my skill set,
I'd answer with:
She was definitely in a BS state. Identifying this, I would acknowledge the 'prior' situation and endeavour to radically break her state of mind, and begin taking her in a direction that both us would prefer. Though i'd agree that you got into her space, its not strictly a bad thing. Just goptta remina flexible and non-attached. I've learnt that breaking this initial state can require more 'pacing' on your part. Before you simply try to lead her out of "bus& 'stangers cant talk to me' mode", it may pay to give her abit more to chew on so that hse doesnt immediately need to offe anything to the necounter. That cums later.
It can be hard to know whats been goin on for someone, or where they were just at and how attached they are to that feeling..
though, giving it some thought, I woulda jumped on her shitty reply with a vocal anchor (some kind of "ahhh.. ok..") and later used that with a reverse slide that took here shittiness level to zero |
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Rye Lee
Moderator
My post count is my POWER LEVEL!!!
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 3907
Location: Toronto
Reputation: 428.1
votes: 39
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:02 am Post subject: |
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Unless the bus was packed, you took too much liberty by just sitting down beside her without some sort of opener that gave you some reason to be sitting directly beside her. Look around the bus and notice how people put as much space between themselves and other people and most people will even stand when their only other option is to sit directly beside someone. With social norms like that, some random guy sitting directly beside her (especially since you made a point of moving seats) definitely made her feel like her space was being invaded.
Next time try commenting on the book first and saying something about why it is interesting, or about your interest in the subject, so that when you ask if she minds if you sit down, she doesn't think it's weird and now she wants to discuss with you. I would probably stop mid-sentence, or mid-conversation at least and motion to the seat and say, "You mind?" with a questioning look on your face, or get the conversation going somewhat before sitting, that way she feels more comfortable with you in the first case, even feels like she's got control over the situation, so she doesn't go on the defensive and put those shields up.
Basically what you did was attempt to initiate kino with a target without even opening her yet and that doesn't work so well. |
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Iceyun
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 15
Location: Greenbelt, Maryland
Reputation: 0.7
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| Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| Okay i like how you break it down, good looking homes. thanks for your help. ONE! |
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