Yep - stop being the nice guy
You absolutely have to neg the girls and get them to qualify. Be more awesome then the rest of the guys. Do more kino, escalate, CREATE attraction, have freedom of the outcome. You don't care what she or anyone else thinks, you do things because you want to do them. I know that can be hard because I'm the same, but it can be learnt. It will feel a bit awkward in the beginning, but when you'll start seeing the results, it will all become worth it
Hope that helps a bit, do you have any specific questions?