I need help.
I admit it.

This is fucking my mind big time, Ive been going out for the past 3 years now, mostly night game, and I had a few succeses that dont even count couse I dont feel like Ive learned from my mistakes.

So forum, Im asking for your help now becouse I dont really wanna be feeling like this anymore, Im starting to getting bored of always coming home with the same results: a few approaches, zero k and f- closes.

Im alright witht he approaching part, Im not the approaching God, but I can manage; is middle and advanced game that is killing me.

After the opener I dont really know what to say or how to say it, Im just full with my mind and cant get a number that wont flake for a day 2.

Thanks for your help.

From what you are saying, it sounds like your problem is physical escalation. If you are approaching but not getting k/f-closes is it 99% of the time because you are not physically going for them. Does that sound about right?

Secondly, if you want to get good you actually have to focus on learning. To get good at anything, you have to focus on a small area and get that right, then move onto the next skill. Take basketball for example, you don't just go and play basketball twice a week to get to be great - sure, you will get better but not great. You play, but also focus on specific skills, shooting for example you may stand on a spot and take 100-200 shots over a few hours to get it right before moving onto another position or maybe tactical plays. You can imagine the 100-200 shots as approaching, you don't go and defend after you have shot or even attempt to re-bound, you just shoot and shoot until you have it down!

This number thing is really fucking people over. Guys... for God's sake. STOP...GETTING...NUMBERS. It's too easy...and too safe. If you play it safe, you'll never make it further. For the approach part...I'm not trying to pull shit on Mystery but there's one thing he was very wrong about. And that is that approach doesn't matter. If you can initiate a convo, it doesn't matter shit.

You said your middle game is bad. Well middle game is all about taking the risk at the right time, in the right way. And that's what I don't see in any ways when you're asking for numbers.

Oh also... that "few approaches" part. Why just a few? Why not approach every single tolerably looking girl on the field? I'm telling you...There's no way that this way you won't have at least a kiss. And that's the very least. Now this is just maths so it doesn't really mean real progress...but it will help you move on. You earn all kinds of experience: social, sexual...

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

lol, 3 ioi's what does she have going on for her more then her looks, she tells you,

... would you like to kiss me?

just go out 4x a week +

hit up at least 5 sets a night, any 3 iois, she laughs, she touches you, she trys to initiate rapport after you break it, she compliments you/shows interest etc...


go back to the drawing board and start over, make your goal pointless makeouts, not numbers, just force yourself to ask, force yourself to focus on escalation, stop worrying about the talking, start worrying about the physical, just go back to mystery method and make it easy on yourself

3 ioi's, you are very *compliment appearace*, but if you look around there are plenty of *compliment you gave her* girls around, what is unque is a good energy and outlook on life, tell me what do you having going on for you more....

you get the picture, keep it simple, and actually go for the close instead of waiting for something to happen, make it happen

if you seriously can not start or maintain a conversation that goes well enough to get 3 ioi's after 3 years of going out, then go look up some routines and make a giant stack, generate a fake personality if you don't have a real one until you realize it is ok to be yourself, there are shit tons of routines out there

you have to do things that are not usual, or comfortable for yourself if you hope to change the way you are

insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results

GOOD LUCK

Madals: youve nailed it.
My biggest problem is the physical scalation I need to pull in order to get the girl. I simply dont know how to do it, what Im saying is that since I was shy in the past, now Im not with words, but with touching its a whole different thing.
I cant touch her without being ovbious about it, lack of structure and concentration while talking. I give too much importance to words.

Fisher: I actually dont do numbers game, I dont have a single phone of a girl about like a year now and that is becouse in my mind they lack of importance. I read a few guys like 60 yoc that changed my whole point of view, Im even seeing k- closes as pointless if there isnt a lay coming any time soon.

I want to be good at gaming, but I confess I havent structured it enough in order to get good night by night, wich ended up with me writing this topic last night when I came home from the venue.

Thank you guys, if you know any simple method for begginers I appreciate it.
I only did the newbie mission and gave me great results; I almost dont have AA anymore.

Bond - you need step by step PLANS on how you are going to improve. Focus on your weakest point first and get that nailed. Physical escalation seems to be a big problem for you so get that structured and sorted; Google the VinDicarlo escelation ladder.

You need to get physical escalation sorted before you try and improve anything else, at first it will be bumpy and may be obvious - that's fine. Most guys when they first approach are obvious and awkward with their words, but eventually it gets sorted.

What you will find, is once you have physical escalation good, something else will be "holding you back". That is the time to focus on your new weakest area. Keep repeating this cycle of focusing on your weakest point time and time again and before you know it your weakest point will be something others view as really smooth

Fuck that, thats the wrong mindset. You should be going for the SNL. Chicks are attracted to a guy who goes after what he wants. You want to fuck her, so why only try get a number or try take it slow for a day 2... Aim to do her on the same night you meet her

_________________
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me I'm tearin down your balcony, no if ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he

1. "Safe vs. risky" and "easy vs. difficult" aren't useful metrics when it comes phone numbers. It's far more useful to think about the level of connection achieved while gaining that number. If you can develop a deep connection, you're all set. If the shared numbers are associated with trust, strong emotions, and excitement for future events, you're getting dates. . . .lots of dates. Something to consider:
one-night-stands-vs-phone-numbers-vt124 ... highlight=

2. The importance of opening: The truth probably lies somewhere between the two extreme thoughts. It's not everything, but a fun 'middle' is much easier to achieve with a fun 'beginning'.

@ OP

Madals is offering good advice. From what you wrote, you don't seem like a naturally intimate guy; By this, I don't mean 'sexually' but with everything in your life. You're disconnected. . .

Most people stay true to their character throughout all aspects of their lives. Meaning . . . curious people are curious all the time and sensitive people are sensitive to everything. Likewise, truly intimate people (socially/sexually) are intimate with everything in their lives. You've seen them, and you probably know a few. These are the people who go shopping for veggies and they stare at them under a light, smell them, and bend them. They smell something new on a friend and they'll shove their noses right up to her hair and go, "New shampoo?" Instead of tossing away old bottles of perfume, they'll save them to remember their intimate moments. This is who you need to become; start touching everything that's in your life, the wooden chair, crystal glass, bark of a tree, smooth velvet, leather sofas . . . Start paying attention to the physical details to everything. It might seem ridiculous now . . .but the idea is to gain appreciation for these things in life. . . because:
The OBVIOUS thing to do in certain situations is to touch. If you share a fun moment with anybody, you high five. If you want to grab her attention, you grab her elbow. If you're curious about something, you tap on her shoulder. These are the obvious 'friendly things'. But with some practice, other things will become 'obvious'. . . In a noisy bar, you'll whisper something by pressing your lips to her ear. . . then where do your hand go? You're leaning in . . .it's only natural to brace yourself a bit by putting your hand on her thigh and/or shouder. If you're standing, it's only natural to bring your hips close to each other when you do this, otherwise, you'll be bent over with your hip stuck out like some kid at a junior high dance. It's OBVIOUS that you hold her hand when she tells you something intimate or personal. Even if she does this in jest, you hold her hand a give it right back to her, "Aww . . . that's deep." There are of course, plenty more 'obvious things' when it comes to touching but these things will become obvious to you when you let yourself become more intimate with everything around you. I know it might seem silly . . . but just start now . . . with everything around you now. Make this a habit.

Finally, start a journal . . . and get "intimate" with your own journal.

I cant bealive how much you are nailing it just with a few words I wrote in short posts; but Kasabi your advice is right, same with Madals.
I find myself struggling with touching my life in a strange way of putting it.

Im reading books like The Peaceful Warrior and such, simply becouse Im having a desperate desire of living each day by enjoying every single moment.

I began to surf this summer and it helped me a lot to live in the moment, years since I had so much fun outta my head; Im starting to meditate just to remember that my head is a tool, I have control over it.

But let this be my pre- journal and confession: I dont know how to be humble.
This doesnt makes me a bad guy, just a dick on my first impressions, wich play a big role on my life couse first impressiones are everything.

Althou I saw some dudes "playing" the humble part, couse I know they are not, I rather be humble by learning how to act on it.

I really wish for that moment when I wake up and feel the sun shine over me, touch all the struff in my house as if opening my eyes for the first time, and lay with a girl as if it were my last night on earth.

One more thing that relates to the humble part, and the reason why I told I care way too much about words is that; yesterday I practiced some text game with a few girls I know, one Im interested in answered that she was working, wishing to go to the beach after.

I asked her out to the beach since I never saw her in bikini, her reply was that she didnt knew if I invented the words by myself or if someone send me a script.
This forum might be my script, I have to admit that I put my effort in words, but now it seems that Im trying too hard.

I replyied that I deserve to see her in the beach since Im such a easy on the ears guy and she said: maybe =)

If you find another way of helping me getting more in touch with my inner self, I aprreaciate it.

Someday I might be the one giving the advice.

Then let this be my pre-journal thoughts for you to ponder:

Stop analyzing your 'character'. Your assessment that "you don't know how to be humble" is in my opinion, inaccurate but more importantly, irrelevant. For now, just do what you can to be more intimate with yourself and everything that you do. Be REAL with yourself. Read ingredients in the foods you eat. Savor every bite. Pay attention to the lyrics and melodies in music. Enjoy every wave, even the ones you don't catch.
This has nothing to do with 'humbleness' and everything to do with 'intimacy'. It's not that you care too much about words, it's that you DO NOT CARE ENOUGH. Words are powerful . . . but you're throwing plastic, fake crap out there as if others cannot not perceive the difference between fact or fiction.
(Not hard enough)

Really? The only reason you wanted to go to the beach with her was to see her in a bikini? Let's try an exercise. What is it that you REALLY wanted on that day? Why did you want to go to the beach with her? Why do you even want to hang out with her? Forget all your analysis and word games and start being more intimate . . . even with your words.
^This is not so great. Let's get your journal going and hopefully, you'll soon figure out why + learn how to do better.

Holy shit I like the way you are destroying my ego kasabi, this is more helpfull than I expected; and Im not being sarcastic.

Regarding to the girl, we have some story, we were classmates for an entire year in law school, and we worked together for every assignment. I always wanted her as someone more than a friend and I told her.

She was playfull, but we never even kissed, all we did was getting a "date" in wich she was on a diet and I toke her on a restaurant. Clearly not in the same page.

My point being that I do not care about her bikini, I know her and she knows me, I see her as a potential relationship wich is what I think Im aiming for in the near future.

Not to stablish some kind of security, but rather to learn of my mistakes and from the other person; my ex gf helped me a lot when I was younger. I couldnt hear anything but the sound of my own voice in every conversation.

I have to admit, now Im really curious about what you said that I might find out why Im not getting the whole point in my field reports. Im here to learn and share what Ive learned, to become a better man. A real one.

You're right. What I've written doesn't really say what I wanted to say. I just wanted to point out that getting numbers without a clear reason(making friends, going into a LTR or getting a fuck buddy) is almost pointless. And if that's the case, the delusion of getting phone numbers as actual results can hinder one's development. I've seen this. AFCs with very little game just able to get numbers, and they get too excited over this. They stop caring about not getting pussy for a very long time while just numbers "satisfy" them, but of course this is just a lie to themselves.

I'm pretty sure that there are quite few people here who only want phone numbers, of course, if that's all, then it's great. But then again it is unavoidable to have solid game to turn those numbers into something more. And in my opinion it's easier, especially for beginners to start going for ONS if they want to improve. Now let me explain this...

Say an AFC just got a girl's phone number. What does he do? He will start calling her. The girl will most likely get annoyed sooner or later, while the guy is still interested, or even worse, gets a one-itis.

Now what happens if he goes for a ONS. If he doesn't have game, he will most likely not achieve it, but if he is persistent, and systematically trying, he will get pussy. And he will get motivated. Of course there's the chance for him to fall for her after the sex especially if it was his first, but I think even women would be more clear with their intentions in a situation like this, and poor dude can go back searching for other ONS, hopingly not falling for the same mistake again.

What's very different between the two cases is that the latter is less time consuming, has a higher efficiency of getting social experience, is more on the edge, thus more pushing towards improvement, and the possible mistakes are easier to realise and avoid. Now I still want to assure everyone that this is just MY personal opinion.

_________________
What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Start up a journal. . . I'll follow along and help when I can. What you thought was 'game' for the last 3 years was a chick repellent.

@kasabi
man... you dig TAOISM arent you ? if you do , give me something good to read please.

@Bond-007
you should watch some RSD owen cook video man. I think you're too analytical, and trying too hard too keep control. and your ego is big ? watch FIGHT CLUB man.

after we lost everything, we're free to do anything.

no ego, no DHV, no bullshit... girls will feel this and love it. real DHV real Alpha male.

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