| Hi all this is my first FR on here following a first date.
Match with girl on tinder. Girl sends first message. I send a quick message back but dont reply to her next message as too busy. By the time i get to replying its 7 days later. Girl replied back within 30 mins. Got chatting all night. She had to go to bed, so she gave me her number and said contact me.
Text game - 6 days of texting ensued with the objective of setting up a date but get side tracked as all good conversation:
Easy conversation, never felt forced
She'd send me photos of herself in situations
Id send her photos of stuff (but not of me)
Sometimes long time before reply, sometimes quick (both ways)
Some teasing, push/pull from both sides as well as well as IOIs from her.
I use some qualification pre-date "on my girlfriends list is….. Blah blah". She reciprocates with same "well on my BF list is actually this… blah blah"
Lots of comfort - we are in the same area of work so have lots of stuff to talk about (its always kept to being interesting and exciting)
We share a lot of similar interests so talk about these at length
She is with a friend and drinking one night but continues to text me throughout the night
Generally spend an hour or two talking daily. Half of the days she would text me and I would reply, so im not initiating the texting every day
Lots of emojis, hahas etc, being mirrored accordingly.
Fun and lively chat
Not any role playing - couldn’t generate any cool roleplay as the conversation was going well and so decided to continue with that rather than some forced made up stuff
Before the date, teasing each other about how the date is going to go.
Date - outdoors event, bar at the event then a pub in a different location (Total time about 5 hours):
Meet, kiss on cheek and initial compliment which is well received leading to some related discussion.
Lots of continued good discussion very easy to get on with, fun.
I feel like we are getting on like a house on fire.
Lots of laughing at each others jokes and sharing funny stories
I joke about my relief at not being catfished by her, very well received and lots of laughing, some limited roleplay but ending fairly quickly
Building lots of comfort asking about past/future holidays, family life, job, etc…
Qualification - you are blah blah, i like that about you because xyz...
Disqualification - "oh you don’t like that? I thought you were cool… etc etc"
IOIs during chat - touching her hair, a finger on her lips
Could not get into good position for to physically escalate (seated far away), but did an infrequent tap on shoulder / arms
At the first bar its cold so we put on an overcoat provided by the bar, she playfully flipped by hood up over my head.
Lots of playful banter about how to put the overcoat on etc
She popped her hod on as well and commented on a funky smell, asking me to smell it. I got close to her and put my face inside the hood saying it smells much better inside (ie. her) and playfully tried to kiss her, she pulled away but it was teasing way. I got close again and this time she pushed me away playfully. All in a good manner.
I was very talkative and friendly to all the bar staff and everyone else working there for social proof and got her involved in conversations I started with others.
Some sexual innuendos (which she clearly enjoyed)
Cold hands after being in cold bar, opportunity for kino
Some more sexual banter outside while walking to next location
I stick my arm out, and suggest we cross arms (which she does,) whilst I build more comfort with her on an emotive topic in our line of work.
At arrival to new bar, some banter at the bar again, well received and she's laughing
She reintiated conversation at two points during the evening when there was a silence, but it was small talk
Throughout the whole date, lots and lots of eye contact.
Point of note: Throughout the date I am talking about 60% of the time and listening the rest. It is mainly me asking questions to lead on the conversation although she did ask a few questions too, it was noticeable that I was asking more
At the new bar, lots of talking again but its just general chit chat, no agenda. I try to escalate by saying I was intrigued about her mentioning that some sexual activities were out of bounds on a first date and what specific activities she meant (said again in a very playful way). She did not appreciate this and said "lets not talk about that"
Says her ears are hot, opportunity for kino
A little later, I tell her I think she is cute, she laughs and says oh in a very awkward manner. There is a very awkard silence for a few seconds before we start chatting about random stuff
A point about her body language before and after telling her she is cute - we are sitting on the same sofa next to eachother, my legs crossed towards her, her's crossed away from me.
Chit chat and another two sexually charged jokes from her. Im getting confused as she is giving mixed signs.
Going home time:
We walk up to the train as we are going the same direction but live at different stops
More chatting waiting for train and I pretend im getting on another carriage to her, she finds this funny but no reaction to look back and check if im actually on the same carriage or not when shes on the train
She tells me a story about how her area isnt too safe at night, but there is a sexual twist to the story again. So, I tell her ill walk her home as its late at night and then I will make my own way home. She resists saying it is not necessary but I insist given she just told me this story about it not being safe. When we get to her area she says she needs to get a bus and its another few minutes up the road. I wait until bus arrives, she is about to get on. I go to give her a kiss on the lips and she moves her head to the side. I make a joke about whether a kiss is out of bounds as part of her previous sexual activities list that she had ruled out on the first date, at which point she then gives me a light peck on the lips and jumps on the bus as she is saying she will text me (which i have yet to receive 48 hours later).
Debrief / feedback:
I was thinking this would be a shoe in given how well we were getting on but it seems that I didnt read the situation properly and toward the end of the night the date went south a little.
I would like some feedback if possible please guys:
1. What went wrong on this date and why?
2. Is it a case of me not having built up enough attraction or qualified enough?
3. Is it that I just wasn’t her type?
4. Could it be she is taking this very slowly on purpose but still be interested in me?
I was pretty disappointed by her reaction to me telling her she was cute. I thought that there was mutual interest there given the event of the evening - but it was basically like she wasn’t interested at all. Also disappointing and confusing are her not wanting to kiss at the end of the night and not saying thank you for a nice evening when clearly she did enjoy herself.
Im tempted to forget about her and move on to another person, but it’s a shame as we shared so many interests and I have found it rare to find such a good match on tinder.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Inthevale
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CHAT