A few of the guys are doing this and I feel like unless I keep track, I'll find excuses to avoid going out in the field.

I am going through the 30-Day Stylelife Challenge (though I'll probably avoid any parts that come into routines etc. since that isn't my goal) since the last few times I attempted it, I usually ended up getting my goal of finding a girlfriend before getting to day 30.

Before doing day 1 I dusted off the charm on a few girls (HB7 Waitress, HB7 Gym, HB8 Gym). I'm going to continue trying to seduce the two girls from the gym but I doubt I'll see the Waitress again (she did not swipe right on me on Tinder, blast!).

I decided to go to the mall/Chapters today to get a few things. To start with Day 1 (make small talk with 5 strangers).. I really didn't wanna go out today but I had set it as my start date. The reason being is that this is a significant 'anniversary' date for me and the ex. I went to upload one of my photos to Facebook today but when I went into one of the albums, one of her comments was still there (she blocked me from everything when she moved away so all her comments are supposed to be gone/hidden) and it just ruined my state/vibe/frame for the day but I did it anyways.

Walked up and opened door for HB7 walking into Chapters, just chatted about finally getting good weather.
Chatted with a HB6 who was acting like camouflage in the aisle (scared the hell out of me).
Chatted with an older gentleman in the line-up about the cookbook I was buying.
Chatted with HB8 in line-up for A&W about where she worked (Bodyshop)
Finished the mission by chatting with an older lady in the line up at Shoppers about different Shampoos.

I was going to buy some new clothes today but my state was ruined. Just wanted to get my "task" over with and get out. I was too in my head today and I was reluctant. Going to have to correct that as I progress and actually start opening girls with intent.

Don't get caught up with this idea of state. There are too many ways to misinterpret it and it's not very well understood or explained even by the best guys. Stop thinking in terms of being in state all together.

You just want to be relaxed and chill. That's the baseline. Not hyper or pumped up.

You are not enjoying the process. If you keep being negative you WILL burn out and return to your passive behaviors within a matter of days, not weeks or months, but days. What you are doing now is beyond the norm, the last thing you want to do is add pressure and willfulness to anxiety. That's what will pull you back into scarcity and settle for a girl you don't really like, you'll make it your comfort zone to avoid these negative feelings.

You will toughen up with enough experience. Great job in getting out of the house.

Reward yourself more. Be nicer to yourself, praise yourself. You are a god and this is part of the process. Keep the big picture in mind.

_________________
Man's futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values. Does the realization of the absurd require suicide? Camus answers: "No. It requires revolt."

Thanks for the advice.

It was just one of those days where I got constant reminders of my ex-girlfriend. It just didn't put me in a good mood at all. Instead of being present, trying to enjoy shopping, the beautiful day, the chance to talk to some new people.. I was just in my head.

Next day will be better.

Just a slight update. I've been busy with just getting back on track at the gym plus some family stuff.

HB7 I saw working out at the gym. She's gone for 6 weeks for a work-term. Left the gym with another guy, he went in the passenger side. I'm assuming they're together. So that is not an opportunity.

I continue to speak to HB8 at the gym. I'm not really getting any IOIs, she laughs at the jokes I do make, responds to questions I ask, likes when I can infer things about her.. but she doesn't ask about me, like, at all and I'm not sensing any attraction from her so I've just kept it light and playful.

So, today was the orientation for my course in September. I come in, there's one HB6 in the back, not really my type. Two friends, another HB6 and an HB8. They're cute but talking in their own bubble.

I'm sitting there on the left side. One chair at the end of the table next to me, then a million vacant seats. HB7 comes in (who's like an HB10 for me because she's my type). I smile to her and keep eye contact. She breaks it and then sits down next to me. This never happened to me in university, good looking girls always sit somewhere away from me.

They hand out some reading material for orientation. I make a joke to break the ice. Introduce myself. I ask her about where she went to university, she asks me. Then the instructor starts talking. We don't get a chance to talk anymore throughout. We're doing a tour, she stays relatively close to me but nothing major. At the end of the tour we get to go back up to the class to get our stuff. I ask a question about why she decided to come here where she was in school from another province. Says she's from here and then kind of goes quiet. I'm in my head at this point trying to look for IOIs (I need to just assume attraction). She doesn't pick up the conversation, gets her stuff and is just paying attention to her phone (which I can see she had a bunch of messages and her phone went off during the presentation so she had a missed call). I drop it, get my things, let her out of the elevator first like a gentleman. We're walking out but again she's on her phone and shit, I was in my head and didn't want to appear too 'needy' or 'gamey' to try again to start the conversation. I know I'll see her again in September, but its a lot of time, she might have a boyfriend now, I don't know, and if not, she could get one along the way.

Good news is theres plenty of good looking girls in my course that I'll get the opportunity to do group work with. Plenty of others around campus I'll be able to approach. So, my scarcity mentality will be broken a bit. That makes me excited. Should I have assumed attraction from her sitting next to me with plenty of open seats? Should I take her lack of initiative to keep the conversation going as a lack of interest?