FOCUSSES 22/05/2015
- Women often receive ego-validation from compliments - especially the exceedingly attractive women. It does not mean sexual attraction has been established.

- High energy can quickly turn into interactions that are very nervous whereas being calm, relaxed and free from outcome can mutate into low energy and laziness. The correct balance is required in life in general, something RSD Max discusses here

- Dance routine seems to be my strongest point in pick-up.

- Verbal escalation and non-verbals for day game are my main sticking points.

- Do not give women too much validation: some women will do a lot to attain male contrivance but this does not equate to sexual attraction.

- Never hesitate: when you feel ready to approach, move then and there. When you're body is headed in the right direction, your mind and words will follow naturally.

- Don't rely on wings too much for that confidence boost. Make sure you keep your solo approaches going. Wingmen are good for third-party perspective, however - especially when it comes to non-verbals.

- Kissing doesn't necessarily help progress the sexual escalation like you think it would.

- Complicated routines rarely work in noisy, crowded night venues.

- Be sure to navigate social dynamics and don't let egos collide with hot headed wing men you don't know.

- Avoid bat-shit crazy girls with razor sharp nails in night-clubs like the plague.

- The videos that are now a staple of my night game:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... i5u4P_JzbU[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... HG6YVaLIFQ[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... mWQAPNztd4[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... NQLMygC98o[/youtube]

- Stop overthinking daygame approaches and using canned lines. Focus more on the non-verbals.

- Be dominant (e.g. stand in front of the girl more to stop her / get her attention; say 'hey' in a way that is direct and authoritative)

- As Poet1989, if the approach 'fails', then hell maybe I can still salvage something positive from the interaction and ask feedback from the woman should she be kind enough to oblige.

- Don't let your emotions get the better of you but at the same time ride WITH the storm rather than AGAINST it.
Don't fight with it. You need to acknowledge that the emotional pain from rejection is in fact on the same par with physical pain. There is actual scientific proof that social rejection registers in the brain like physical pain.

I've had to deal with it most of my life (men AND women) and I can tell you that the way to deal with social rejection is to treat it like a work out: the more often you are in that situation the stronger you become (psychologically) and the more proficient you become at avoiding those situations. I had to learn to do this by keeping strong frame control following a rejection: accepting the emotional pain (sometimes on the verge of actually crying, the way some girls will attempt to destroy your character) while standing physically tall and maintaining composure like a man.

Of course, laughing it off helps: the only pit fall with laughter is when you become cocky / arrogant because in these situations you act as if you have not been phased. There is no acknowledgement of the psychic pain that has just been induced. When this acknowledgement does not take place, you can't grow stronger from it. So when you want to laugh, by all means laugh but do not ignore the fact that rejection has taken place and do not fail to maintain frame control.

Never give the girl a reason to creep shame you. Be unapologetic for your desire and stand tall like a man when you approach - then if or when she rejects you, she can only do so in a respectful manner, acknowledging the fact that you are a human being acting upon your needs and desires the same as any other human on the planet. You have THE RIGHT to approach any woman that you desire, so don't be creep shamed out of it. Just make sure you don't approach with a hunch back like notredam while eyeballing your shoe laces and / or that sexy breast cleavage. Look her dead in the eye, man to woman and then she can only reject you as a woman to a man.

But finally, and this is the most important point: don't approach with the expectation of failure. Aim to win. When you look up in life, your mood changes, your body language changes and you just tend to move as a whole in the direction of progress. If you approach with all of these 'plan-bs' in case of failure, then you are more likely to move in the direction of failure. When you have the frame-control for dealing with rejections ingrained into your personality, it is on autopilot. You don't need to worry about that any more because when you fall, you are sure to instinctively protect your head. Now is the time to simply just aim for success.
Looks are very insignificant when it comes to women. Personal experience AND social darwinism has convinced me very strongly of this fact. If guys go for stunners, then women go for hunters. And biologically it makes a lot of sense: why would cave women CHOOSE to reproduce with pretty boys that stay at home fussing over their pretty blonde locks of hair and biceps when they COULD reproduce with the man that's going to get out there and slay a few woolly mammoths?

Women will ALWAYS choose the hunter and in the modern world, the most successful hunters happen to have good people skills, leadership, charisma and virtue. So that is the kind of man that is the most attractive to women in the 21st century. Businessmen and other successful leaders are often attractive to women but because they do not step outside of that box to venture into the world of seduction, they do not necessarily know it. That leaves guys like Julien Blanc who have a very thorough idea of what women want that is backed up by theory and experience. These guys have the time and money to venture the realm of the female mind and desires, simply because it is their profession. As people, they can be good eggs or bad eggs, it doesn't matter: it's the confidence, charisma and leadership that prevails. It can be used for good OR evil, something that a lot of men who are into men's rights and red pill sub reddit don't fully understand. To them, it is just the 'bad guy' or 'the arsehole' that gets laid rather than THE ALPHA MALE / LEADER OF THE PACK.

It's just that in the modern world sexual aggression needs to be conveyed in a socially acceptable manner, otherwise it is perceived as creepy and / or physically confrontational. BT, the guy I wing with sometimes, is an ex-charity worker: one of those guys that stops people on the street for his profession. When he stops women, first he gets their attention verbally or non-verbally before he walks around in front of them, stopping them in their tracks to make eye contact. His approach style is direct and sexually aggressive but he brings energy and a positive vibe to the interaction at the same time.

That is an example of getting that right balance between sexual aggression and social intelligence when it comes to cold approach. Of course you can see it in indirect forms of approach, such as social circle game - but sadly that isn't really an area that I am strong with.

One of the best pick-up channels for getting these kinds of non-verbals right is simple pick-up. I nearly have the non-verbals down but I have a hard time stopping a woman in her tracks like that. I mean, I've done it and got away with it but it doesn't come very naturally or congruent to my personality. But I am one to always try new things.
Hey.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I don't think there is much truth to your compliments. I don't see how I'm ever going to be successful with the mindset I have and for this reason, I don't truly expect anyone to ever learn off of me. And when people on these forums say 'just change your mindset' they don't realise how deep the perceptions and beliefs I have are. These perceptions and beliefs I talk about below.

The more experience I have interacting with women - and I say 'experience' very loosely because I'm still a virgin. This makes it frustrating for me to talk about 'what women want' because people's gut reaction is to question how I could possibly know. I simply know from what I have learned about women, the limited sexual / physical experience I DO have, the missed opportunities where I have shot my self in the foot and one particularly close relationship with a woman who nearly cheated on her boyfriend to be with me. A long-term relationship that with a woman that left a lot of emotional scars and triggered a great deal of change in my personality as well as my non-verbal and verbal communication. What I learned just from being around her and looking into those eyes, it still haunts me to this day and I just can't see that I will ever view women in the same light again.

To me as I stand now, a lot of women are very cold, calculating emotional manipulators. Psychologically they are supposed to be strong but in fact are weak and passive, preying on the leadership that alpha males can provide. This is in spite of the developments of liberal democracy that put importance on deeper personal attributes that should theoretically be sufficient to allow you to get ahead in this consumerist economy rather than the biological differences of brute size and force between men and women. In spite of this a lot of women are still unwilling to take leadership roles in the modern world and I find it sad, because I would like for nothing better than a genuinely egalitarian feminist culture. However it is often the mindset of WOMEN, and not men, that make this impossible. That is not to mention the whole world of self-improvement philosophy and mindset shifting that accompanies pick up, and the confidence and people skills you develop from approaching and interacting with women.

So you see, it is the culmination of theory and experience that have lead to me adopting such a detrimental mindset when it comes to women. Even though I am AWARE of these beliefs and attitudes, they are an incredibly compulsive force to be reckoned with. They literally SMELL when I go up to talk to a woman. Like I said earlier it is me - my personality - that is flawed and that is the explanation for my lack of success. But all of that's not relevant, I will post to page 10 because when I start a project I usually intend to finish it: even if there are no concrete results, I will stick with the process to the bitter end.

In the very last post I intend to put together everything I have learned from the field experience, the theory I've read and the insights of other users. People may agree or disagree with my own discoveries and they may or may not find them useful. Some people may sympathise to an extent with my own personal agenda while I know for a fact that other individuals will be repulsed. And that is ok, I do not fully justify the way I have gone about my life so far: there are PLENTY of things I'm not proud of. Some people may also be shocked when they discover a lot of uncouth facts about the very unhealthy attitude modern day society has towards sexuality. I would go so far as to describe it as diseased and has been in no small part to blame for producing individuals like Elliot Roger. These people, after all, are shaped by the experiences and culturally reinforced mindset of the society that they live in.

NIGHT GAME 25/04/2015


Howdy fellas ...

Tonight I just went around a few bars after my own part-time shift. I TOTALLY recommend doing this, if you've just got a little bit of nerve it only takes like 30 minutes, and fuck it you will probably eventually be successful. On the whole, I was just trying to be laid back / natural and not too scripted in the lines I'm using. I still haven't done the whole "but why iz you rejecting me?!?" crybaby routine yet but did go out tonight and did four solo approaches. On a serious note though, I will start asking for feedback next time I do daygame. I just can't tell you how great it feels to be back in the game hitting the clubs and bars and playing with feisty females with no wingman and nothing to go on but my own confidence.

First set I remember the music was loud and I was LITERALLY trying to just improvise then and there in that moment. The idea of course being that canned material = bad ... which it is! Everything that came out of my mouth was just mumbo jumbo but I somehow managed to keep them going for half a minute with the girls just being like,

"Whaaat!?!"

And me

"Well, I kinda-uh just think you're uh .... no ... wait that hair is ama-- I mean you're drink yeah ... red and yellow ... hmmmmm colourful uhhh yeahhhh wait wait no, no ... you, yes YOU. I came over because I wanted to speeak to youuuu..."

"I can't hear you!"

Well that's because I don't want you to LOL.

No wonder girls think I'm drunk when I'm stone cold sober haha! That's the advantage of loud music, I guess: you can talk shit and make it seem like you're saying something with ACTUAL meaning. But somehow, I am shit even at talking shit. Probably because I didn't get the non-verbals right. After these girls walked off I half-heartedly tried to do some dance floor routine but the girl just ignored me.

Second set different bar, saw a bunch of girls dressed like the twelve dwarfs from snow white. Music was loud as fuck again but I had some conversational material that was somewhat credible this time. They all had red cheek paint, and one of them had a hat that said "Tipsy". I can't even remember the first line but half way through I was asking the girl if she was Norwegian.

She was like,

"No!!! Why would I be Norwegian?"

Then I imitated her in a pseudo Norwegian accent. Then I remember just looking at her, staring, and she was like,

"Don't look at me like that!"

Then I was like,

"It's the red cheeks."

(she had her cheeks painted red, I wasn't being rude lol)

"And the hat: it says tipsy. Only Norwegians drink like that."

She laughs and I chat some more shit before I turning around to her friend and just look at her because once more my mind is totally blank. Then I chat some random shit. Her hat said 'grumpy', so I asked her why she was grumpy.

Third set, different bar, I saw a group of well dressed ladies. First time I saw them, I bottled it, went to the bar, got a glass of tap water and thought to myself.

How am I going to break into this group ... wait a minute ... that's the perfect line.

Then I walked up thinking if I should actually use a line I'd just prepared even if it was only a few moments ago. But I used it anyway:

"How do I break into this group?"

I asked.

Logistics were a bit fucked up here: the girls were stood in a circle and I had to move in from behind. Not sure how the master PUAs would go about this.

"What!?!"

The girl said.

"How do I break into this group?"

I repeated, she still couldn't hear me.

"What's your name"

I asked instead, then the older lady to my right said,

"That's not what you said first time, say it again!"

"How do I break into this group?"

I repeated, trying to make it sound confident since I was having to repeat myself a THIRD time, lol. (Usually I don't even repeat AT ALL.)

"You have to be brave to break into THIS group."

The lady replied and the girl I was asking told me I would have to strip tease.

Ummm...I'm not exactly sure how to reply to that, so I awkwardly suggested I strip tease somewhere more private. I don't remember this had much effect because she just turned round to her friends told them my opening line,

"How do I break into this group?"

Her friend laughed, then she said to me,

"Yes. If you want to break in you will have to strip tease."

Like, seriously, what the fuck? I try to blag my way out of this obvious shit test before I eject from the set after looking around behind me kinda awkwardly. Maybe I shoulda just undone a few buttons on my shirt or something or pretended like I was GONNA undo a few buttons on my shirt ... putting her hand on my abs might have done the trick.

Fourth and final set, a different bar again (each set took place in a different bar, since it's actually quite hard to find cute girls!):

"Do I need an excuse to talk to you?"

This somewhat abrupt line cuts straight through their conversation - cheeky, I know, but I say it to the girls at the sideline of the conversation. The girls all look at each other nervously, waiting for the 'alpha female' who's just been talking her ass off to speak. In the past when this happens, the 'alpha female' usually gives me shit. This time the 'alpha female' was relatively lenient:

"Possibly."

She replied.

I remember this puts a

...?

Into my mind so I blag a little, using awkward silence in my delayed response for dramatic effect:

"Hmm...well I could use an excuse I suppose like uh ..."

She clasps her hands together on the table: I can see she has silver nail polish.

"those finger nails ... beautiful silver polish"

I feel the guy from the other table absent mindedly staring at me and I feel a

...

pregnant pause start to seep in, so I quickly interject to distract attention from the shit observation I just made:

"You, what's your name"

I point to the girl to my left, and then I go round the table getting the girls names. This is a retarded way to go about conversation and it is obvious I'm just stalling for time, I know, but I use this opportunity to look each of them in the eye, seductively.

Body language is kinda shit here, because I'm having to awkwardly lean forwards all the time since they are seated and I'm standing.

Sometimes I navigate around the shit logistics of these kinds of situations by cheekily grabbing a chair and pulling it over to the table just to be at the same level as them. But this time the thought hasn't occurred to me and the 'presumptiveness' of

"oh, well I'll just grab a chair and sit at the same table as you guys,"

sometimes wins them over and sometimes doesn't.

It's very much a go by feel situation. But next time, I think I'll just grab that chair.

OVERALL
My style is changing. I'm fed up of doing the 'number game' where you go out and see how many girls you can approach instantaneously just for bragging rights. I really don't need to do this any more: my approach anxiety is NOT that bad that I need this. In fact to some people, I already am an 'approach robot'. I would prefer to just look at sets that don't seem overly logistically complicated and find girls I think I might have common with. Alternatively, just approach girls that have something about their appearance / style / location that I might be able to use without thinking too much about what to say.

You'll probably notice I'm not asking for numbers as much anymore. Numbers can be good indicators of progress or self-esteem boost, and I do get that BUT

#1 Not much point in getting loads of flakes
#2 I'm noticing that a lot of the time I ask for numbers it's because I feel my approach attempt is going to shit so I nervously jump to the

"What's your number"

crutch in some desperate attempt to salvage the interaction.

I would prefer from here on out to just focus on rapport and sexual escalation and let the

"what's your number"

question come more naturally when I feel attraction is a given.

In fact, there might not even be any need to get a number when she just wants to come back mine and fuck my brains out.

The last thing about my shift in style, is I'm moving back to verbally indirect game / stating my intentions non-verbally. I've said before I like the philosophy behind the Gunwitch Method and I stick to that statement. I've been going around like a douchebag a lot complimenting girls on their looks and right now, I just want it to be a given that I'm attracted without having to state it so god damn blatantly.

I like,

"Do I need an excuse to talk to you?"

Because, when done right, it explains my philosophy then and there to the woman: I don't believe men need to create 'excuses' to talk to a hot woman. I would prefer to go straight up to a hot woman and talk to her THEN AND THERE than wait around for a few months, awkwardly trying to court her indirectly through social circle game, or even worse, trying to work my way into the so-called 'friend-zone' first.

Well, next week is bank holiday monday, and I'm going out with an old friend the sunday night before that. I've known this guy for 9 years, and he is shocked that I'm still single. He is completely determined that he is able to get me laid. He's not the first male friend to make this sort of intervention in my sex life, but I will keep an open mind and see what happens.

I'll let the Master PUA guys direct you here.. I'm learning and can't be concrete but while I am reading your field report, I'm thinking "what are you trying to accomplish?" like, I don't see you making an attempt to learn anything about the girl and get her to DHV or invest herself to you. You're trying to get them to qualify you almost and I know you're struggling with a lot of this stuff, but you're trying, which is more than half the battle.

I think the best chance you had was with the strip-tease set, they were being playful and they were already in a sexual frame. I could be wrong, but from what I remember, if you do what they say, then you're just being lead and you won't establish male dominance over their world.. I think you probably should have pointed to one of the ones suggesting a strip tease and said something like, "I'm actually a strip-tease instructor, you show me your moves and I'll critique you girls." or some other type of line that turned the table on them to be sexual with you. Rather than consider being a monkey doing a trick for them.

You see, I like to be playful like that in these sorts of situations! It is not because I am a self-absorbed twat that takes himself too seriously to have a bit of fun. But lines like these that turn the situation around don't come to me easily. Everyone keeps saying,

"stop overthinking the verbals and the words will come"

but I'm just not at that stage where words just poetically flow to the tip of my tongue. Yah, that's right: I've been at it on and off for 3 years, I'm at page 8 in my journal and still freaking out about 'what to say'.

I still haven't done any daygame but figured I might as well post up on someone I met at work. Long story short, I'm a part-time bar-man at a theatre where the shifts are time to fit around the shows. We get a lot of volunteers - actors and actresses who are basically forced to work for free if they want to be in the shows, lol. One actress was giving me all the IOIs, I remember trying to take a note of what stock needed replenishing and she was 'distracting' me just by standing near me, trying to make conversation and generally giving off a sexual vibe. Or maybe that was just my neglected cock giving me wishful thinking.

I responded with a treat'em mean keep'em keen attitude and when she did it a second time, gave her a somewhat condescending smirk for playing that 'bait a male' game girls seem to love. When she went to leave in the interval I caught her looking my way a few times and then suddenly it was as if she'd given up on me. I just remember feeling that familiar pang of pain you get when you've fucked up a very rare opportunity AND you feel guilty about generally being an arse for playing fucked up mind games.

After she left, most of my evening was ruined and when I got back home it almost felt like I was on the verge of crying at times. My friend behind the bar thought I was a fool for not approaching also. I promised myself that if I saw her a second time I wouldn't pussy out again. A few days later, I was beginning to loose hope that I'd see her again when, low and behold there she was on the other side of the bar (the 'good side' ) in a pretty flowery dress. Since last time I'd copped out of asking her out because I was too preoccupied with what I was doing, this time I capitalised on my spare moment, going more or less straight up to her to ask her how her day had been. She was friendly, so good - not taking anything personally.

She tells me she is about to do an audition and in my mind, this is the wrong moment to ask her out so I wait until the audition is over. When it is, there aren't many people in the bar but she is surrounded by a few friends which make the logistics more complicated than if I'd just made my move last time LOL. Nonetheless I'm afraid she is about to leave, so I go over and ask her how her audition went. It is almost like she is trying to avoid me, but unless I ask her out, I will never truly know. I would PREFER to get rejected than live in that kind of uncertainty, it's just gross.

She goes over to put milk in her tea but I am scared she is about to leave so I power walk over and she turns around to find me in front of her, at which point I just put my cards on the table and ask her if she wants a coffee. For a moment she hesitates and it seems almost like she is going to say yes but then she suddenly tells me about her 'boyfriend' and I just get the feeling it's a lie. But whatever, I can't be bothered with using any 'boyfriend destroyers': at this point, I just want a woman who doesn't play these kind of games.

Then she says something weird which is,

"do you want a hug?"

And the most distasteful feeling of repulsion sweeps me over. I'm not used to women trying to reject me in this way but it just seems patronising and either disrespectful or tactless. But I disregard these feelings and just go to shake her hand instead. I tell her that I'm fine but then she starts blubbing all this stuff about how if she wasn't in a relationship she totally would go out with me and I shouldn't feel bad about it and blah blah blah.

And this just makes me feel more mad but I keep composure, smile and repeat myself:

"I'm fine really. None of this necessary."

But she is still blubbering.

"I'm fine."

I repeat, assertively.

"Listen, I have to go and sort something out on the till."

Then I go and make a mistake on the till which I'm trying to rectify and she follows me over and asks for tap water. I tell her there is tap water on the counter. I feel slightly disgusted because I know she is just doing this for her own validation. She didn't get that coochy woochy hug that she wanted and now she is trying to get some other kind of attention from me. I keep telling her I'm fine (she obviously hasn't read this journal otherwise she'd know I've been rejected over a hundred times lol) but she just keeps on blubbering even though there are other people around and I don't want the whole fucking world to know I've just been rejected. Throughout this though, I am trying to keep positive. I keep telling her:

"It's fine, it's fine. It's nothing to worry about, really. I've just got to focus on what I'm doing."

And in my mind I remind myself that I am not doing this to get her attention. I tell myself:

This is the way I genuinely feel. I genuinely accept the rejection and just want to go about my work without giving her too much contrivance since it is bad practice and will make me seem weak. This is not emotional blackmail. THIS IS NOT EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL!!

But of course the effect is exactly that of emotional blackmail, in spite of my hardest efforts NOT to manipulate, that is what's happening. It's such a weird situation to be in: I'm trying to block her out without actually cockblocking myself, maintain solid frame control AND focus on my work at the same time, and it's ACTUALLY confusing me. It is like she can see this and that is why she is persisting so hard. At one point it is like she is going to admit she lied about having a boyfriend but I don't even want to know at this point, I just want her to fuck off. Eventually she does and she shoots me this condescending sorrowful look like she is sorry to hurt my feelings as if I'm not man enough or capable enough to handle a little rejection.

I'm wondering if this escapade will continue, i.e. if I'm likely to see her again, and if so, maybe I can keep a sturdier frame this time and turn that REjection in to an ACceptation. In other words, maybe I SHOULD manipulate. And as for being pissed off, well, I'm not really about holding grudges especially not where women are concerned - I can't afford to be like that. I just want to make sure I don't appear weak and that I don't damage my own frame by giving women the validation they seek. It's weird to be in this situation where you are having to deal with various internally conflicting and competing emotions and psychological agendas.

You should have just taken the hug man.

Anyway there are times when a girl's rejection will fuck you up. I understand that you don't want to be patronized, but she SAW that the rejection hit you hard, and she felt deeply saddened that you got hurt even though it's not her fault.

If I were you, I'd turn this girl into a FRIEND. Seriously. Tell her you'd like to connect, but on a FRIEND level. Make sure that you're the one that friendzones HER. Tell her about your awesome nights out. And connect with her. Don't throw it away because your ego got a bit bruised, but make the best of a bad situation.

Yeah, friendzone it is. I was thinking that if she comes up again I will just be polite and make chitchat. I don't want to mention the elephant in the room and hope she doesn't either. And if she brings it up, I will just say,

"It's cool, we can just be friends. No worries about it."

In fact, I think I probably did say something like that. Don't know what she's freaking out about.

You don't know me, so maybe you'll ignore what I have to say. I hope not.

You should examine your reaction to this girl's rejection and ask yourself what it means about how you are feeling about women, and yourself.

It looks to me like she was offered you the hug - and then continued to engage with you - because you were visibly impacted by it. She wasn't trying to get validation, or to emotionally blackmail you.

Open your eyes man and remember how you might think of a girl before all this PUA poison clouded your thinking. None of this crap about appearing weak or maintaining an alpha frame or about the manipulative female nature would have crossed your mind for one second.

Most people are kind and genuine. This girl was one of them. She was showing empathy because she cares about another person's feeling. That's all: concern for you because she's a good human being and not all girl's are manipulative, callous, validation seeking whores.

And you don't have to be some alpha pimp. You mention several times that you were trying not to appear weak. Trying to not appear weak by definition means you are actually weak. Fuck that dude. Just embrace the fact that you want to fuck chicks, be shamelessly proud and authentic about that desire, and you'll begin to view rejections as simply filtering out girl who don't feel the same way about sex as you - not as girls being patronizing or too good for you. We're all just people.

Cleanse your mind of this shit and you will be happier. You will also be swimming in more women than you can handle. And they'll be good-natured, down-to-Earth, sensible, emotionally stable women too.

I'm sorry if this comes across as a little harsh, but I just truly hope you will shed a lot of the toxic beliefs this community has force fed you. They do you no good.

You're right mate, these attitudes aren't doing me much good whatsoever. But I just want to clarify that before I read up on the community my 'philosophy' to women was no more complicated than 'treat'em mean keep'em keen'. If anything I've branched OUT my belief system and become a more positive and well rounded person. I'm not blaming anyone other than MYSELF for these cynical attitudes which I bear alone.

Ok, thanks for the heads up.

OK fair enough.

Regardless, "treat em mean, keep em keen" is a flawed philosophy.

Let's unpack it a little.

Sex is a value exchange. The ideal place is to have a massive ton of value. This is what gets you chicks. I doubt many people will argue that.

The debate is over what gives you value.

And that, in my opinion, generally comes in two forms.

You can actually HAVE the value. Or you can FAKE the value.

If you have value, you don't have to fake value. That would be illogical, and a waste of your time since real value will get you further than fake value anyway.

Unfortunately, pretty much ALL the game that is taught by PUAs is faking value in some way. It's fucked.

Things like negging, treating a girl poorly, or with coldness are faking value. They aren' actually indicative of you having anything worthwhile to offer the woman, but they imply that you have more value than her, which is why you can behave that way and "look down" upon her, even though she's a hot babe.

When you have REAL value, you don't have to do any of these parlor tricks to make her think you have value. Your life is the demonstration of value. You don't have to run "attraction" game because you are never trying to get girls attracted to you. They either are or they aren't as a natural consequence. The ones that aren't get nexted. The ones that are get fucked, quickly and roughly.

Further, if you are a confident, sexual, aggressive, dominant and masculine man, you're even further away from needing to treat a girl like that.

I never use the "tream em mean" approach. I don't need to. Everything about my life is a 24/7 DHV. I have interesting stories. I've done cool shit with my life. I've traveled, partied, cultivated passions, and dedicated my life to being the best person possible. I take care of my body. I'm in shape. I dress well. I'm well-educated and financially secure.

Do you think there's any need to neg a chick? Or resort to some stupid trick/game to get her to see all that?

Fuck no.

The result is this:My game is one part sexual scumbag. Dirty, grimy, aggressive and sexually charged (or during the day - unashamedly flirtatious). But it's also one part "nice guy."

THIS IS AN INTOXICATING COMBINATION FOR GIRLS.

It is such a unique combination. They are used to dealing with either callous assholes, simps with no backbones or sexual balls, or clingers who will bend over backwards for them for no reason at all.

[PLEASE NOTE: I am not advocating being a pussy. There's a big difference between being a kind, genuine, honest person and being a spineless beta who gets walked all over and can't enforce personal boundaries. The moment a girl ACTUALLY does something that crosses the line, you set her straight, or you send her to the curb.]

I've lost count of the number of girls who have said something along the lines of this to me "What I love best about you Daniel is that you are one of the most caring, sweetest guys I've ever met... and then all of a sudden you are throwing me into the wall in my apartment and kissing me with reckless abandon."

That's where you want to be. Build your life's value. Make yourself awesome in every way. And then play the game as the dirtbag with a heart of gold. The girls will never know what hit them.

Keep on working man. And please know that I'm not some self-righteous ass. I was EXACTLY where you are. Thinking in terms of how I was being manipulated, how girls were trying to gain upper hand over me, etc... My wake up call came when a really nice, really sexy young blonde girl came home with me, gave me head, and then wanted me to walk her out to the curb to hail a taxi.

I refused because I thought that would be a "weak" move. It would show neediness.

What I didn't realize was that isn't a weak move. It's just a normal thing that normal people with proper emotional health do when they've just had an intimate experience with someone else.

I couldn't even fathom where my life would be now back then (that was like 5 years ago). But I figured it out and my game exploded. Yours will too.

The more time you spend interacting with girls, the more all of this will make sense to you. Just talk to them as often as you can. Try to be genuine. Try to be sexual.

You'll try and you'll fail. Just like I did. But do that enough times, and you'll succeed.

Hey mate, that is a shit load of philosophy for one post, you will see heaps of that stuff posted all over this thread in different forms until the journal is complete. I just want to say that I don't GO OUT OF MY WAY to emotionally manipulate, sometimes I just feel like I'm on the burnout and it is because of the games a woman has been playing. In these situations I just tell her - verbally or non-verbally - that I've had enough, that I don't want to be around her anymore and I know the effect it will have on her but I am stating my intent because that is the way I genuinely feel. Before I know it, it is like she is magnetised to this disinterest like a cat that's lost interest for a dangling piece of string just to see it getting pulled away and all of a sudden the only thing it can think about is that piece of string. That sounds deeply misogynistic but in actual fact, I believe it is the way of humans in general. There was another situation with a girl that scratched my head on the dance floor posted in this journal. And a year or two ago a similar situation that I've grown to deeply regret (I still remember it quite vividly and wish I could see that girl again but now it is too late).

In these situations it is not that I lose interest and it is not that I am enjoying "treat'em mean keep'em keen". It's more that I know I'm likely to get sucked back into that feeling of neediness and requirement for ego-validation myself. THAT'S what I'm trying to avoid - the "treat'em mean" is totally unintentional, I am just trying to keep my head from falling off my own shoulders! It's not because I think I'm too big a man to take a hug. I used to be a very touchy-feely guy.

What changed is the realisation that comfort is the breeding ground for complacency and that this is true for life in general. I never truly began to make that reach towards my ambitions until I learned to break out of the comfort zone in everyway possible. And then something happened which set me back on those ambitions and it was like my life had been derailed for 6 months to one year. I'm only really just starting to get back on track to be honest and I'm finding that tiny little things that fuck up my routine and daily patterns screw me over completely. Long story short, I just want to get back into that system where I am continually forced to break out of the comfort zone and I don't need to think of things like hugs as 'the consolidation prize that weakens my frame' because sex is a reality and I can just be more in tune with the person I really am.

As for emotions, believe me I do not believe it is unmasculine to accept (and then to ADDRESS) these feelings. Not at all. It was just something about the way this particular girl seemed to want, no, NEED, me to comply with the way SHE viewed rejection. Like I said I shook her hand AND I told her we could be friends, that that was acceptable. For whatever reason, I just ... didn't want to hug her at that particular time. Perhaps 'weakness' is not the word I should have used for it. I don't know how to describe the sensation. But just to clarify, I don't personally believe that it is a wise move to deny your emotions and I haven't believed that for a few years. Real men are all over their emotions, I wish I could be MORE like that.

Thanks for your input, it hasn't gone unheard.

NIGHT GAME 31/05/2015

Went out with a few wings last night - SAG, BT, LJ and another guy I haven't mentioned yet, SRG. SRG and LJ kinda formed a separate group since they weren't technically speaking 'with' the other two guys, they just sort of mingled together occasionally. I spent most of the time with SAG and BT but was flicking around between groups a lot especially since LJ was looking around for me a lot. I should probably spend less time with BT since he is more alpha and this lowers my own status or whatever but I guess it is because I'm trying to learn from him.

On the whole I'm kinda dissapointed with myself that I've pussied out of doing any solo daygame or nightgame recently but then this shit always happens to me when I'm trying to get other elements of my life sorted out. It would be nice though if I could just get everything together in my daily routine:

- professional (work)
- intellectual (reading books, etc.)
- physical (i.e. gym/sports)
- domestic (cooking/chores)
- seduction (day game AND night game)

If I was doing those five things EVERY DAY I would be over the moon. But at the moment I'm just sort of doing everything in dribs and drabs and this just seems to be my life lately. Just getting out of bed is a big fat chore sometimes. It's like I'm crawling half-heartedly through life at the moment rather than standing up and walking like a man.

Anyway I did a lot of approaches and some dance floor routine but it wasn't as solid tonight because nobody else in the group was dancing. When I'm surrounded with dancing I find it a lot easier to draw girls into my own set.

At the end of the night, me and SAG grabbed some chips and he gave me some pointers:

- if I say something that evokes a negative reaction I need to find a way to turn that around. Often you can get away with saying weird shit as long as you know what to say afterwards.
- it will help me to be more spontaneous if I read more material - don't treat it as canned material, though. Just read a lot of material - books, tv, OR pick-up material - and this will turn my psychology around making the verbal part of interaction more natural.
- dance floor routine is ok when I find a way to get into the groove. I just need to find a way to absorb girls into my reality more, e.g. I am dancing and I see girls walk past so give a hand out and pull them in rather than doing the opposite, which is dancing my way into sets.

That said, some of it went ok: I twisted around in front of a short girl in a black dress and the most adorable braces. I think I nearly gave her a heart attack. Then I used my opening line which was shit,

"I like the dress very purposeful"

She doesn't hear it - good. Then she does something weird which is, she turns to the side to give me her ear. So I capitalise on this rather than repeating my opening line,

"What's that?"

I ask her, mocking her gesture and then mimicking her.

"How are we going to have a conversation like that, bending over to one side?"

I ask her.

"I just ... I was just trying to hear you!"

She laughs.

I ask her what her name is. To be honest, I can't remember what her name is, but I go to 'shake her hand' then get her twirl around. Before she knows it, I am pulling her in close and then I suddenly bend down and sweep her off her feet. She shrieks out of panic and then starts laughing when she realises I have control. I spin around with her two or three times, hyped up on the thrill of doing this to a stranger and then slow down and put her down gently when I realise the bouncer has his eye on me. He is probably just worried there will be an accident.

I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to do that and how much I loved doing it. Even though it was a little awkward initially, it felt great and she loved it. I just wanted to carry her straight out of the club, take her home and fuck her brains out. Huge adrenaline rush.

After I put her down, I am thinking of pulling away when she suddenly asks,

"Wait, what's YOUR name?"

I tell her my name but then start to withdraw, holding her hand somewhat lingeringly before I pull away and walk over to SAG.

"Wait, go back...why did you pull away?"

He asks.

"I don't know. Just freaked out, I guess."

I reply.

I see her later that night, when BT is chatting her up and her friend and I have my attention fixed on the boxing on the live screen. I feel a pang of jealousy when I see BT pull them both in close. And he keeps them talking for a good 5 - 10 minutes. Then he either tries to introduce me to the set, or the girl in the black dress spots me and says something to me.

"Huh?"

I reply. Her friend says something about a tattoo. I'm not sure if she is talking about the girl in the black dress or her own tattoo but I do something a little weird / creepy which is to turn the girl around in the black dress and move the strings from her dress around a bit so I can inspect the tattoo a little closer.

Creepy, I know.

Don't even know why I do this shit sometimes. But I am overcome with an animalistic lust to fuck her and that's basically the only thing on my mind right now. I am stone cold sober but I've been in the club for abut four hours and it FEELS like I'm drunk. BT and SAG insisted no alcohol under any exceptions tonight, so I've been making frequent trips to the bar for tap water just because it doesn't feel natural not to drink anything whatsoever. I'm doing my best to maintain composure and stand up straight, it's like I can't walk into a club without immediately starting to feel drunk and intoxicated.

"Don't I know you?"

The girl in black asks me.

"Oh, uh...I don't know. Maybe."

I reply.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I recognise you."

She asserts.

"Yeah, you probably do."

I reply.

"Didn't you pick me up?"

She asks as if this has only just occurred to her. I pretend to look surprised.

"...Oh yeah! Yeah, that was you!"

I reply.

"Oh yeah"

She mimics me, sarcastically rolling her eyes.

"You're an arsehole."

She says, then she turns around to continue talking with BT and her friend. I turn my attention back to the boxing. Yeah, I fucked that one up. BT asks me what the hell I said to her later, and I'm not even sure what to tell him.

I remember a shit load of interactions turn stale that night, I don't even know what I'm saying to turn these girls off. I think I'm just trying to be unfiltered but that means a lot of weird and, sometimes negative or downright insulting shit comes to mind. Then I try to turn this around by being playful and animated: some girls absolutely adore this but to others I just look like a boyish clown. Other times, I am trying to be dominant and assertive but this doesn't work either. For example:

* SAG has pointed out that I should stop leaning over to talk to girls.
* I'm 6 foot, so not humongous but taller than the majority of women. A lot of the girls in night clubs are at least a head shorter.
* SAG suggests that I pull them in closer if I can't hear them.
* I try to do this with authority but they often respond negatively and it just isn't congruent with my natural personality. Even when they let me do it, they are still a lot shorter than me and it's hard for them to hear me speak, even in the smoking area.

Before I spoke to the girl in the black dress a second time we moved to a different bar temporarily before shifting back. In this other bar, BT and SAG spot a girl in green dress and tell me to approach - that guy she's with isn't her boyfriend, BT assures me. I'm fed up of being ordered to approach but I haven't done it for a while so I comply although I can't find this girl they're talking about. I find a few girls in stripy tops over on the dance floor instead and just shout

"Whooh"

The girl I direct this towards ignores me but then I turn to her friend and she starts grinding on my leg. I'm not sure what to do in this situation so just kind of dance for a bit until the awkwardness gets to me and I walk off. I remember BT and SAG asking me later that night why the fuck I'm always walking off half way through a set. Not really sure how to respond.

I come back to BT / SAG and I see the girl in the green they were talking about. She is HOT. AS. FUCK. and I notice a LOT of guys are going and speaking to her. She is getting with any of them but she is enjoying the attention and giving them all entertainment. I figure I might as well give it a shot since my wingmen think she is worth it. I can't really remember how I went about it, but I was at a low point psychologically, since I just didn't feel my game was up to much that night.

I kind of just sat on the opposite side of the table and gave her a curious glance, hoping that magic line would just come to me. She shoots me a curious glance back as if to communicate,

"Ok, I will play your game a little but I am expecting more of an effort than THAT."

She looks like she is about to suddenly lose interest so I shoot around the table and stand next to her. I can't remember what I say. Some random shit that comes to mind. It feels like she is putting a lot of pressure on me, so I ask her what her name is then I try to spin her around. She spins around but kind of clumsily because she is in high heels so I can't pull her in. I feel like I'm fucking this set up, so I walk away and then I see BT and he insists that she is interested and that I must go back. I look around and sure enough she is looking at me, playing with her hair. She seems to be hoping that I will go back over. SAG later tells me that she was waving at me when my back was turned. But I just don't feel able to go back over. BT says,

"Say anything, tell her that you're a millionaire."

He's suggested this line a lot, so I figure I might as well give it a shot.

I walk over and try to stand with a bit more poise and assertivness this time.

"Did I tell you I'm a millionaire?"

I tell her, projecting my voice with a fake almost salesman like beam. I am hoping she will see the funny side.

"No, why are you telling me this?"

She asks.

"Uh...."

Why AM I telling her this?

"Because, uh...girls like ... millionaires?"

Then she give me the most hurt puppy dog eyes I think I'd seen the whole night.

"I'm NOT a gold digger."

She says, pain struck, and I can't tell if she's fucking me or if I've really just shot an arrow through her heart.

"Oh, uh ... right."

I say, trying to maintain composure and it is one of those weird situations where I'm simultaneously trying to keep a smirk off my face while wondering if she's seriously taken what I've just said personally or not.

"I have enough cash flow in my name that I don't NEED to be a gold digger. And anyway, the only thing I'm looking for in a guy is much deeper than that."

She is launching the offensive. Part of me wants to tell her that the stupid "I'm a millionaire" line wasn't even my idea and part of me just wants to shirk off.

"Of course,"

I tell her.

"I never thought that you would be a gold digger."

But this has no effect.

"But you must have done, otherwise you would never have used such a line."

Seriously, this girl HAS to be fucking with me, right now. I remember just standing there looking at her kind of awkwardly staring at each other. Every time something comes to mind to say, I know that she will just misinterpret it, either deliberately or by accident. Eventually I just kind of awkwardly shirk off, feeling totally confused by this mysterious exotic and highly intelligent beauty that is seemingly more oblivious and naive about life than I am. Or maybe she is the one that's getting something that I'm not. I am just wondering if I should go and hit my head against a brick wall.

"No go back over, go back over,"

BT tells me as I walk back over to them.

"Well, what the fuck do you want me to do?"

I ask him. We are walking out of the bar to go back to the original bar and BT is insisting that I should go back over to her. I don't know what I would even say or do. If I went back over it would just be to kind of awkwardly stand there, looking at her. I don't think BT seems to realise this.

"Ok, ok, fuck the girl in green. Go and approach THAT girl."

SAG suggests. I'm kind of relieved.

"The girl in green was dissapointed in you for not going back over."

BT tells me later. And in my mind, I'm just thinking,

What the fuck was I supposed to do? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO!?

In any case I go over to a different girl and try to spin her and sweep her off her feet again. I do so but she panics so it's kind of awkward and I just miss hitting her head off the table. She laughs and we talk some random shit for a little bit and she is with her friend so BT and SAG come over to wing. I am starting to withdraw and give up on the interaction again, so BT insists I should keep trying. I try to make some light kino but she is freaking out that I will try to pick her up again. So I try talking at a distance but she is shorter than me and can't hear what I'm saying.

"Pull her in close."

BT keeps telling me, not realising that she's not about to let me. This situation is awkward and I just want to eject again.

We go back over to the original bar, and I see a woman in a white and black top. My line is

"Do I need an excuse to talk to you?"

She says,

"Maybe."

Or some shit. I try talking to her but the music is loud and she seems more interested in her phone, so I try playfully suggesting she put her phone away. She gets irritated so I eject. Then to my surprise she comes back over, and asks me what I wanted, but at this point I am the one feeling annoyed and I don't feel like talking random shit until she gets bored and leaves. So before I know what I'm saying I just turn around and tell her,

"Well, I was trying to get your attention but you seemed more interested in your phone than me."

"Oh, right."

She says and walks off.

Yeah, I know. I could have made more of an effort since she came back over but I just get to a point in the night where my ego has been scratched and bruised so frequently it just turns into an ugly mess.

"What did you say!"

BT looks shocked, and I am shirking awkwardly because I myself am not sure why I said it.

"I don't know ... I just told her that she seemed more interested in her phone than me. I don't know why I said it, I just said it."

"Oh."

He said and for once, he actually looked a little sympathetic. For better or worse, I can't tell. I hate it when people feel sorry for me - it's different when they actually RELATE to what you are feeling, though.

At a later point I am with LJ and LJ points out a set he is about to approach that includes the girl in the green dress I was talking to earlier. I immediately feel awkward and want to shirk out as he approaches her friend. I am trying to walk past, avoiding eye contact when the girl in the green dress recognises me,

"Oh it's you,"

She says, almost gleefully and she remembers my name. I feel a little easier and try to chew the fat for a bit:

"Hey how's it going?"

I ask.

"Not bad, blah blah blah."

She replies. And to start with it seems like she is going to cut me some slack when all of a sudden it feels like she is 'testing' me again.

"So explain to me about that millionaire thing."

She asks. And it feels like my guts are reeling because I am going to have to 'explain' why I used a shit line. She HAS to be trolling / fucking with me.

"You know,"

I say, trying to turn it into a light interaction.

"I'm not ACTUALLY a millionaire, I just said that because ..."

"You were trying to test me?"

And her face lights up for a second.

I am about to say,

"Yes - yes! It was just a test."

But my gut instinct tells me this is a trap she has set up for me to fall into.

"No...uh...I was just saying it because, uh..."

And I remember she is just LOOKING at me.

"Uh...well I just thought it would be a way to keep the convo going that's all."

"Well then. It WAS a test. YOU just wanted to see if I was a gold digger, that's all."

She asserts. And I remember just looking at her at this point, wondering if she really, SERIOUSLY believes this crap or she is doing some weird kind of shit test, trolling me or all three of those things.

"No."

I say.

"No. It wasn't like that..."

"Really?"

She asks.

"Then what was it?"

And I am laughing, not because it is funny but because it is ACTUALLY painful.

"You said you were a millionaire, and that all girls really want is to be with a rich man, and you said this to me because I looked like a gold digger to you."

Twisting my words horrifically.

"Look."

I told her.

"No...No. No, that's not fair. That's not what I said at all. The only reason I said it ... all I was trying to do was bring a positive vibe to the interaction, say something a little different, a little interesting. That's all."

And my voice turns low and almost angry, even though anger is the last thing I feel towards her - how could I feel angry towards her? She just seems so naive and innocent. She says she is very wealthy, perhaps she has lived quite a sheltered life, I don't know... The gents next to me turn around as I am saying this and it feels like they are watching me, so I try to break away from this tone.

"That's all."

I squeak, as if trying to distort the conversation dynamic into something more light-hearted and less confrontational by resorting to this boyish, high-pitched, high-energy tone which some girls seem to like.

Talking to that girl in the green dress it was like she was testing my authenticity, piercing my soul with all that eye-fucking. I literally had a hard time looking at her face and standing up straight. I either wanted to shrivel up or walk away but then she would make me feel 'guilty' for not making an 'effort' - that's what BT had told me earlier after all: "she is disappointed that you did not return". I tried to tell her how awkward she was making me feel, but wasn't really sure how to phrase it.

"It seems like you're...I don't know why you're doing this...you're making me feel..."

But the truth is I don't know what it is she's doing. I sigh out of frustration because it is like talking to a brick wall or something. Or maybe I'm the brick wall and she is trying to break me down. I just don't know anymore. Women confuse me too much. She says I've 'hurt her feelings' and that she isn't interested in me anymore or something.

I think the pain of rejection must have swept across my face then and there because she looked guilty for just a split second. So I overplay this emotion. I tell her that she is right, looking away from her. I'm ashamed of myself and I will never talk to a woman again.

"Well THAT PART was bullshit,"

She laughs.

"The part about you never speaking to another woman anyway."

It's like she knows my entire trick book back to front. Either that, or I'm just giving her WAY too much credit. I tell her I'm leaving. I mean to be purposeful about this, but it just sounds like I'm emotionally blackmailing her trying to make her feel sorry for me. On a deeper level, I guess this maybe the case, but consciously at least, I actually DO want to leave. I AM fed up of having my head fucked around with, and this woman is the biggest head fucker I've spoken to all night.

"Ok, bye."

She says. She doesn't feel sorry for me, but that's fine. I don't want her to. I just want to go somewhere else because I don't even know what the fucking point was in me talking to her a THIRD time. I wish I'd just ignored my wingmen and avoided this crazy girl.

I tell BT about this later:

"I saw that girl in green dress earlier. I don't know what it is about her...what she was trying to do..."

"Are you in love?"

He asks me.

"No!"

I cry, not because I'm ashamed of such a thing but because I do not feel love after five minutes talking to a crazy girl. But crazy hot girl.

"Yeah, you are. You're in love."

He says and he turns around to the woman sat next to me. She is like 30 years older than me.

"He's in love."

He says.

"What? Who's he in love with? Me? Or her?"

She asks, pointing to her friend.

"...Her."

Says BT.

"No, no. I'm in looove with yoooou."

I insist.

"Oh, well...I'm too old for you."

She says. She is a little old, actually.

"That's ok. The more experienced the better."

I reel off this old, corny and overused line. I can't remember what we're talking about for the next five minutes with BT in the set who I kind of lean on for support when it comes to conversation. But then she suddenly tells me she's married.

"No you're not you're lying."

I just say this now every time a girl tells me she's got a boyfriend or whatever.

"No I'm not! Here's the ring."

She shows me a ring.

"Well, that's not even a real ring."

I say. I'm not even that interested in getting with her, I just like the games. I touch her ring and slide it up her finger a bit but I'm not cheeky enough to take it off.

"See, it's just plastic."

I tell her. I can't remember what she says next but we both know I'm just blagging and bullshitting my way through every social interaction. After I eject I make a few more approaches but on the whole, I do not feel like tonight was a very successful night. It feels like I'm weirding and creeping girls out when I'm speaking to them. And yeah, rejection does hurt. Still. I've realised something about myself: I've never really gotten over the pain of rejection. I've just learned fake coping mechanisms to deal with it, like clowning around, pretending it doesn't matter when I get rejected. Or if I go into a set and don't really make a proper effort to engage the woman, then it is not really me she is rejecting, just a cariacature of my own personality. And that is part of the reason, I'm seriously contemplating giving up on pick-up: because all I am doing is spreading my integrity and personal character so thin, it is like butter.

I've lost a lot of self-respect doing all of these cold approaches and it's all because I watch videos like simple pick-up on the internet. When I am not goofing around and acting like a spasticated idiot, I'm either trying shit lines and canned material or trying to be 'direct' like schawzenneger. None of it is real. None of it is authentic. I am not being myself when I speak to a woman. But I don't even know how to be myself. People just make it seem so simple but to me it is anything but. All I am doing is fucking up and making myself more miserable.

BT texted me today to see if I am up for day game tomorrow. I was about to text him that I was gonna quit on pick-up but right now, I just want to complete my goal and make it to page ten of this journal. At least then, I can say I've given it a good shot. But then am I REALLY giving it a good shot when all I want to do is make XYZ approaches half-heartedly and then make out like I 'tried'. I just don't know anymore. If I could be this magical authentic, true-self that pick-up literature seems to glorify and mystify I would be it. But it just feels like I'm not able to. Maybe I am too ashamed of myself and the person I have been for a lot of my life. Maybe the pain of facing up to the person that I actually am and the feelings and emotions that I have rationalised, if not plainly ignored for years and years is too painful for me to do. It doesn't feel like I'm truly a man. It just feels like I'm a misogynistic Elliot Roger-esque creep who thinks the world owes him pussy. I look in the mirror, and I just see a boy who has repeatedly sacrificed his integrity and spent most of his life so far running away from the truth of who he really is. Why would any woman want to be with me?

I know BT will try to talk me out of giving up but we both know I'm not cut out for this PUA shit. I am not man enough to handle rejection and I am not smart enough or human enough to make simple, ordinary conversation like an ordinary, genuine and authentic human would make it. My problem is that every interaction has to be this smart, wonderful and witty repartee, for it to be good enough. I am just too big headed and I am not intelligent enough to live up to my own standards. Maybe if I could just lose my own ego...

SELF-ANALYSIS

Be more filtered and cut out weird shit from conversation.

Avoid the creep vibe.

Be more genuine / authentic.

If I say something that evokes a negative reaction I need to find a way to turn that around. Often you can get away with saying weird shit as long as you know what to say

It will help me to be more spontaneous if I read more material - don't treat it as canned material, though. Just read a lot of material - books, tv, OR pick-up material - and this will turn my psychology around making the verbal part of interaction more natural.

Dance floor routine is ok when I find a way to get into the groove. I just need to find a way to absorb girls into my reality more, e.g. I am dancing and I see girls walk past so give a hand out and pull them in rather than doing the opposite, which is dancing my way into sets.

An Alpha is a rose and a knife,

Awesome quote, had to put that down.

Guys last night were asking which PUA I most identify with, I guess I'd have to say that ideally I'm a Julian Blanc: smooth, sexy, direct and aggressive. Realistically though, I am a Todd Valentine: genuinely nice, and positive guy (not needy), introverted and intellectual. I don't mind that. Maybe I can be a Todd Valentine with style. Speaking of the guy, I've been looking for his video on the logistics of day game approach for a little while...glad to have found it.

Alpha male actors/celebrities, still gotta figure that one out. None of the guys I see on TV really suit me. I mean there is Clint Eastwood, but he is too serious, too conservative. Bruce Lee, but too humble, too traditional, too crazy. Brad Pitt, but then he plays so many different roles its hard to figure the guy out. Harrison Ford ... maybe that guy but he's a bit too straight. James Bond ... I need to think about the different actors here. I don't like Pierce Brosnan, too slick, too up his own arse. Sean Connery, I like that guy but a bit of a chauvinist. Daniel Craig ... the guy is pretty authentic. And dry. I like Daniel Craig. But setting my goal at James Bond might be a bit too high - too much charisma, too much style, confidence and charm. I'm just little old beta male JHA91. Sean Bean when he plays Sharpe ... rough and ready, loyal and fiercely brave. Top guy but maybe a little TOO Jack the Lad. The guy from Prison Break, Michael Scofield, maybe. I liked his style, intelligent, analytical, compassionate (always putting other people before himself) and highly sensitive. Edward Norton, I like him in American History X - the good guy that comes out of jail I mean, not the neo-nazi that stomps a mans face into a curb, haven't really seen his other films though. But I'm just not as smart or crazy as that guy, I mean he tattooed the blue-prints of a prison onto his body, then staged a bank robbery to get arrested and help his brother break out. I don't know, I will have to think this one through.

Ok, update: thinking outside the realms of actors, maybe I will pick someone a bit more ordinary. Like Calvin Harris, for example. Successful guy, makes good music, has a nice voice, dates a lot of beautiful women (Rita Ora, Ellie Golding, Taylor Swift, etc.). He is British and has a very clear voice without much of an accent, so I wouldn't have to impersonate anybody, or end up speaking with an American accent or using Americanisms if I styled myself more around that guy. And he has a sexy swagger, just look at this. Overall the guy just seems pretty normal, confident and human ... just an easy guy to relate with. And I can't tell you how many times I've listened to Bounce, Blame, I need Your Love, Summer Time, etc., etc.

So far I'm leaning towards Todd Valentine (PUA), Edward Norton (actor), Calvin Harris (musician). If I want to add a bit of aggression into the mix, then I'd be inclined to say Sean Bean as Sharpe, or Daniel Craig as James Bond. But as an introvert I can't be hyper-aggressive all the time. There are just those moments when I'm really in the zone that I let loose, and I'd say I become more naturally aggressive in the same sort of style as those guys above. And it feels good too.

So the characteristics on the whole that I would identify with: positive guy (not needy); introverted and intellectual; authentic; analytical; compassionate and highly sensitive.

And occasionally, when I am in 'the zone': a little aggressive (in a good - rough and ready way), loyal and fiercely brave.

DAYGAME 01/06/2015

I don't know why but today seemed like it was gonna be a great day. There was something in the air that made me feel like it was gonna be a great daaaay. The birds were chirping tweet-ed-y tweet ... the sun was shining briiiight ... there was a skip in my step, a pip in my pep ... and I don't know why!

In short I felt like this guy:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRu_-9MBpd4[/youtube]

For better or for worse, I guess.

Well in any case, I made up for a bit of a shocker the other night and winged with BT, still haven't racked up the nerve to go solo for a while but I guess I'll do that soon. Me and BT headed down to the mall.

First set - a cute girl in denim jacket, quite short. BT insisted I go over but I started rationalising / excuse making:

- I'm pretty sure she's with that old man
- She looks kinda young...

In any case I sorta walked in front and made eye contact before pussying out, so BT took over and approached, keeping her going for like a minute. Damn, I shoulda done the approach.

After that, I made up for it by going over to an attractive looking girl. She had too much make-up on / looked a bit plastic, so she didn't really seem like we would be personally compatible but I went over anyway. I just said,

"Do I need an excuse to talk to you?"

And she said,

"Maybe."

So I just assumed attraction and proceded with the interaction, asking her what her name was and so forth. Eventually she told me she had a boyfriend, or whatever.

I said the same thing to another girl in a flowery dress and she said the same thing, but more directly.

Then I went over and said it AGAIN to a girl in a group. She wasn't my initial target but as I approached the group she was the first one that made eye contact. I can't remember what HER excuse was or if she even rejected me (lol) but I inevitably withdrew from the set.

After this, I went and found a pretty attractive girl in a kinda navy green top - I personally think bright green would suit her better! - and this time, there was no pre-thought out line, I just said the first thing that came to mind:

"Hey, I just say you and wanted to come over and say hi. I think you're adorable."

"Oh thanks,"

She replied.

"So whatcha doing?"

I asked.

"Oh, I'm about to meet some friends."

She replied.

"Oh really? I just thought you were a loner. Nah, I'm just kidding I figured: A girl like you wouldn't be here by yourself."

I said. Awkward line, I know but she took it. She said something like,

"Well yeah, I guess I am here by myself."

ME: It's cool, I'm here with a friend too.
HER: Is this a dare?

BT was lurking around when she asked this and I hesitated in pointing him out but then BT always points me out to the girls he's talking to when I'm trying to camouflage into the background surreptitiously so I figured I'd do the same

ME: No this isn't a dare, I genuinely wanted to come and speak to you. That's my friend there.

BT looked surprised.

HER: Is this a dare?

BT (jokingly, making him look guilty - what a dick!): No, no! Not at all! I'm just uh ... I'm just going over there ...

She turns back to me.

ME (laughing): Oh my god, what a dick! I'm sorry what is he like eh?

She is looking at me questioningly.

ME (changing to serious tone, being more assertive): It's not a dare. It's really not. I just came over because I wanted to speak to you - because I think you seem cool, and I wanted to see what you were like.

I remember reading something about how you should just go over to compliment a girl for no reason and then walk away without trying to escalate, just to get you into that positive mentality that is free from outcome. I pick this moment to walk away with a compliment:

ME (demonstrating freedom from outcome): Anyway, I just wanted to come over and say hi, because I think that you're absolutely adorable. Have a nice day!

Then BT asks me what I did.

"Did you get her number?"

He asks.

"Oh - no, no."

I reply.

BT: What - WHY!?
ME: Uh, I read something that says you should just walk over and compliment a girl and walk off, so you know you're making the approach for the right reasons.
BT: Was she interested?
ME: Eh...50 / 50.
BT: Was she still talking to you?
ME: ... Yes.
BT: Then you should have got her number.
ME: Ok.

I guess it's too easy to get your head stuck in the books sometimes. It ain't easy for guys like me that have to learn how to communicate with a woman by reading books. Still, I put a smile on her face and a pip in her step, I'm sure.

Me and BT were approaching so frequently we were constantly getting separated and then having to phone each other up to regroup. We pop outside the mall for a bit and BT sees a cute girl in blue from behind and tells me to approach. I pussy out but he goes and approaches and somewhat annoyingly he keeps the girl talking for 20 minutes, flirting, teasing her, gently grabbing her arm and spinning her around as she tries to walk off. I remember just watching the guy, thinking:

How the fuck does he get these girls talking for so long, what the hell is he talking about with her anyway?

Then I decided:

Well, I'm not just gonna stand around like a lost puppy: time to go talk to somebody

I see two girls talking to a saleswoman although I am not sure initially if she is a saleswoman or just a friend. I get close and realise she is, indeed a saleswoman. After the saleswoman has sold whatever product it is, I move in towards the girl I am physically interested in, and say:

"Hey, you are absolutely adorable, I just wanted to say hi."

Then her fat friend turns around and says to me:

"And you are fucking crazy, walk in that direction"

She says pointing in a direction there's no way in hell I'm going to walk because it is outside of my little bubble. She is trying to walk away but her friend is kinda lingering around: she hasn't moved a muscle, in fact, so I try to see if I can blag a bit. I can't remember what I say but I realise that the pair of them are kinda chavvy and I'm not really personally compatible with this woman anyway. I think this realisation is what rejects her off, more so than what it is I say next (I can't remember).

I look around and BT is talking to the girl in blue top ... still! He just makes it look totally natural, if I saw these two in the street I would think they were friends / acquaintances - like they were colleagues and they'd just seen each other in the street so stopped to say hi and have a semi-serious discussion. I can see that there isn't much sexual escalation though.

I see a woman standing in the middle of the street, I shoulda figured she was a salesgirl, but I didn't so I went over. I tell her she's cute, I just wanted to meet her, etc., etc. and she is SURPRISINGLY RECEPTIVE. It's a kind of weird sensation, like when you pick up a bag of feathers from the ground expecting it to be filled with lead so you put in more effort than is required to pick it up. This is how that interaction went: with me moving in expecting to find a little resistance but finding almost none whatsoever. It was kind of weird the way she put her hand out when I went to shake it as well - it was just THERE for me to hold. No need for game / push-pull, whatsoever.

She is French-Algerian and she says I am charming and calls me 'young man' a lot - which is...kinda weird. I'm not used to interactions without needing game, so I decide to bust her balls on that a bit - I say:

"Who are you calling young man? Have you seen these greys?"

I actually AM a tad paranoid about the greys so I should probably stop mentioning them all the time. But whatever.

"How old are YOU calling me young man?"

Either she misunderstands this, or she deliberately ignores the question because she tells me her name. I ask her what she does and she says she is a promoter. And it all makes sense

"Oh, so THAT is why you're talking to me. Ok, well nice speaking XYZ."

And I spin around to walk off when she says,

"But what I have to sell you probably wouldn't interest you anyway. I am a promoter of manicure products."

I go back and talk a bit more, but realise that I literally need zero game to get her number so I just ask her for it and she gives me her facebook addy instead, since she has a French number.

RESULT.

I go back to BT who is done with his cute girl in blue.

"I got a number, smashing!"

I tell him: I'm over the moon. Well, ok. Not over the moon, because I tend not to ride the full wave of emotions, I've kinda learned to be free from outcome like this guy. This can be a bit weird and mechanical. So I try to sort of celebrate in a weird ... semi-robotic fashion.

"YES! I AM SO HAPPY."

"What about you," I ask BT. "Get her number."

"Oh ... no," He replies.

"What!? But you were gaming her for like 20 minutes."

"Yeah, I asked her for her number but she was kinda shy. So I kept trying for a bit but then I just kinda got fed up and gave up."

"Oh ... fair does." I said.

We walk back into the mall - it's the best place for pick-up really: all those women walking around shopping for beauty products, clothes, getting their nails manicured, etc., etc. - and I find a three-set. I pick the girl I'm interested in and I'm in like a bullet but the logistics are a bit fucked up. Her friend is kinda stood in front of me, and I'm separated from the girl I'm talking to by about 2 feet.

"Hey, I just saw you, and I wanted to come say hi. I think you're adorable."

I said.

"Ok...we're going to walk THIS way."

Said her friend, cutting in front of me and pulling her off.

"Oh, what!?"

I murmured passive-aggressively as they walked off.

I was going to say nothing but then suddenly decided to speak my mind.

"YOU were interested"

I say pointing at the girl I talked to.

"Puh-lease, no she wasn't -"

Her friend interrupts.

"You, on the other hand..."

I say turning my attention to her friend, penetrating the back of her head with my scowl - the excellent balance between assertiveness and dry tongue-in-cheek humour.

They walk off which is fine, but I'm always glad to find an opportunity in which to assert myself. Even if I'm surrounded by judgemental strangers

ME: Yeah, I fucked the logistics up on that one. Stood too far away from her, I think.
BT: Nah, it was cool.

Finally, I spot my last set of the day. A cute red head in a leather jacket walks past me with her friend. She maybe even gives me the eye, it's hard for me to say. Initially I pussy out, then I turn around to BT and say:

ME: Damn. I shoulda gone over.
BT: Go over now. Do it.

And I go over and get her number, using my natural boyish charm which works on some ladies but not on others. Tapping her on the shoulder before I walk around in front of her to stop her in her tracks and burst her bubble, I say:

ME: Hey I just saw you and had to say hi.
HER (one third surprised, one third bemused and one third charmed): Oh...hi!
ME (looking for an interesting observation to make): I love ...that jacket. It is absoutely adorable. And with those spikes on the shoulders. Are they to keep the boys at bay?

Then I do an impersonation of her shouldering imaginary cassonovas in the face with her lethal weapon. She laughs successful.

ME (looking for another interesting observation to make): ...and those bags ... you must ... like ... shopping

Ok, this one is not going so well, since I'm just stating the obvious here. For this reason, I try to rectify it somehow:

ME (cheekily fingering my way through the bags she's holding): ... yeah, uh ... you've got a lot of bags (she only has two, lol!). You must be buying a lot of beauty products. But you know you don't need all that stuff. You look absolutely adorable the way you are now.

Of course she looks adorable, BECAUSE she has the necessary beauty accessories. Or maybe she looks fine natural, I don't know. Whatever. I'm constantly pushing the interaction forwards to avoid getting 'stuck in a rut' - i.e. that position you find yourself in where you say something awkward, the woman forces you to rationalise what you just said, you make up some lame excuse and end up digging yourself a hole that you're already trying to escape from. Not pleasant.

But this girl isn't like that.

I ask her name, she tells me. Then I make a kinda attempt to engage her friend (she is mixed race - half-black) - I ask her what her name is also. She tells me her name, but she just gives me a look as if to communicate

what are you trying mate

So I quickly turn my attention back to ginger girl. And I can't really remember what I say next, but it's something along the lines of,

"So, I just wanted to meet you and see what you're like apart from being adorable - obviously - and see if you're a cool person, that would, you know, maybe like to hang out sometime, and, uh, well I believe that everything happens for a reason, you know - fate, karma - it's the universe bringing us together ... but sometimes fate isn't enough by itself and you've gotta make that initial effort to MAKE something happen -"

I make the most adorably articulate hand gesture when I say make, I'm so bad ass.

"- you know, like uh ..."

And then I efficiently pull my tatty old shit nokia phone out my pocket.

"putting your number into my phone."

Ok so this was all a little more elaborate than it needed to be and maybe a little bit nervey. But then sometimes just saying,

"Can I get your number."

Is too boring / simple. And I wanted to spice things up a bit, by talking about fate, karma and the univere. What can I say? I think in the moment, even if sometimes I get a little bit edgy / uncertain.

But she puts her number in, and I'm pretty sure it was a real one because she is checking onto her iphone to make sure she gets the number down right. Then, getting my phone back, I say,

"Excellent. Well, it was lovely to meet you."

"You too ... and, well ... see you later!"

Oh yeah - she is strongly implying we will meet later - I just hope I'm not being too cocky...

Anyway, after wrapping up this mini-success story I find BT and he is getting brushed off by a somewhat cute Asian (Indian/Pakistani) girl that tells him she has a 'boyfriend'. He complains to me that he is losing the knack, but I somehow doubt that is the case: his game is still a lot better than mine. Anyways, I keep my victorious celebration low key and wrap it up since BT has to go home. BT thinks I should keep going for a bit since I am in the zone today but I want to end on a positive note: I got a number, wooh.

Even if it's a flake, I got a number, woooh.

TEXT GAME 01/06/2015

Later I am walking back home and it is absolutely tipping down - just my luck. I send my red-headed angel a lovely text:

Yo leather jacket guy from the mall AKA JHA91. What's up

And then a follow up (maybe I shouldna done a follow up - that might come across as needy and / or too energetic/hyped up):

I'm soaked

Well, I'll just have to wait and see if this one get's back to me: fourth time lucky, maybe?

Overall:

I'm changing the way I view interaction and escalation. Instead of thinking about what to say / what to do, I want to think more in terms of techniques:

e.g.

- body language, logistics and vocal projection (the most important element of the opening, more so even than the line you use)
- make assumptions and never ask (e.g. "oh you're obviously Swiss, then" rather than, "you sound European, ARE you from Switzerland?")
- kino: non-sexual, at least to begin with
- DHV: telling or demonstrating things / stories about yourself that demonstrate higher value but without coming across as braggy and giving them a sense of relevance to the conversation. Something I need to work on
- eliciting value: making her qualify HERself. again, something that I don't think about very often.
- be direct: make your intentions clear, verbally or non-verbally. just don't be blunt or vulgar.
- compliment: treat with caution because you don't want to put the lady on a pedestal.
- defusing awkward situations: something you don't necessarily want to over-analyse about per se, because you want to be focussed on the positive - i.e. what happens when things go RIGHT rather than what happens when things go WRONG. But it is something to keep in consideration - e.g. shit test defusal, what to say if she says she has a boyfriend, what to do when the bitchy friend interjects to call you a loser and drag her friend off, and how to keep a solid frame even when you are getting rejected, etc., etc.
- escalation: finding a way to make the interaction more sexual either through kino or emotional progression.
- logistics: finding a way to relocate - from the mall, to the dating venue, from the dating venue to ... wherever you want to take things, etc., etc.

I figure, that if you get the non-verbals and logical / emotional progression right in the opening and escalation process, the verbals should just come naturally.

This idea needs working on and further clarification though.

First, nice job on those two approaches. Seems like you're starting to feel a little bit more natural with your day game, which is really what it's all about anyways.

Second, you may remember the other day I said something about putting girls in their place IF they act like cunts. I'm glad to see you did that. The first fat girl that blew you up should have been dismantled, but you made up for it by not taking shit from the friend in the other set. I was happy to see that.

Finally, on the ginger set, the only thing I'd say is that there are probably a few ways you could have solidified this number...

The first would have just been to fluff talk/gather logistics immediately after the opener, talking about her should spikes and her immediate interest in you. You didn't have to continue down that path, complimenting her bag and what not. You could have immediately just gone to "normal" small talk, but used it as a way to be flirty and also recon more about her to seed better follow up or even an insta-date.

It's easy. You already know how...

"So what're you guys shopping for today?"

"That's cool, me and my mate were just looking for X. So you from around here?"

"Oh OK, I know where that is. I actually live right near there. Perfect, that'll make it easier for us to hang out sometime [FLIRTY SMILE]."

"Yeah, we can totally meet up for a drink after work. Here I'll take your number and we'll figure it out."

And so on. Throw in some flirtation and your on your way. The big myth about game is that you need to be some attraction building, center of the party, smooth player. Really, in those first few minutes all you have to do is fluff talk, find commonalities and logistical opportunites, and be playfully curious and flirty. Your body language, voice, and other subcomms are much more important than anything else.

Even better, you could have tried to insta-date by teaming up to go shopping together. You don't even need a good excuse. "Are you guys in a rush? Shopping is always better as a team sport. Let's do it. I've been meaning to check out some sunglasses over there at the XYZ store."

MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL: you need to fully feel all of your emotions. It's really not healthy to allow them to flourish, good or bad. If they're bad, feel them, let them live, don't judge them and then let them pass. Then you recognize them and try to make the genuine, core level changes if they aren't good for you, but repressing your emotions will gut your humanity... and even negative emotions have their place. If you feel happy about getting a number, fucking let it out dude. Please listen to this. I never want to see you say you had a robotic reaction again. You're a human. Enjoy it.