I've been talking to this HB7 from class for the last 4 weeks. The first day of class she hid her lips from me when she thought I was going to kiss them. I found out she has a boyfriend by week 2, but she was accepting kino really well. After I found out she has a bf, I froze her out. I continued to sit next to her in class, but I wouldn't speak or even look at her. She kept re-engaging me and asking questions, mostly about the problems, but then she would kino and rest her arm on my desk and put her folders on mine. I didn't engage but I did respond to reward her for investing. I thought she was investing. So then when I would make sexual jokes (like once she said "The small one goes on the bottom" for a math problem, I said "Yeah that's how I like it too" and she smiled, hit me on the arm, and said, "Oh stop it." We've teasing talked about how we would fight over who's in charge in the relationship and she constantly rubs her arm against mine when we're walking away from class. Yesterday my inner thoughts were telling me that everything is going really well. We held hands (not very romantically but a little bit) in class, she asked me to walk longer with her, she told me that she always breaks up with her boyfriends after a year because she gets bored and this current boyfriend is now at a year, and she sort of accepted us getting together. (I said, "Lets go hiking" and she said, "yeah, but I want to invite Lisa (our mutual friend), and I said, "we don't need a chaperon" and went into how if at worst we have an experience and learn about ourselves and we don't need to tell her boyfriend and etc.) Well I felt like the sexual tension was building and I established comfort, unlike the very first week, so now maybe she is ready. I should I have went for the kiss yesterday, but I chickened out, although, I was touching her shirt near her belly and she wasn't backing up at all.

NOW TODAY, my thoughts are like.. Fuck, the sexual tension is gone. I feel like I've been friendzoned. Why isn't she investing as much now? Does she feel like she's got me? Did she feel that after I didn't kiss escalate yesterday, now she isn't as interested? (Not that much was different in class. We still kinoed.. I wonder if Ive kinoed too much... But it just felt like I was doing more investing in starting the conversations today... but she was still responding well and telling my about her Muay Thai Kickboxing.

It's just like the thoughts in my head shifted. I don't feel so sure about the interaction. I don't feel so confident that she likes me. I think I'm doing more chasing and investing and she is losing the interest she felt yesterday. This is madness in my head. How do you guys deal with the internal thoughts that shift like this? Also, am I having these thoughts because I need to pull back on kino and only do it to reward her and get her to chase me more (are my thoughts/ feelings telling me something) or is it just thoughts and I am doing everything just fine. I know I need to escalate to find out if she wants to take it further, and I WILL GO FOR THE KISS NEXT WEEK, but since I have to see her in class I thought I don't need to ax this girl asap because I have to see her anyways.

Lastly, what are ways that you guys restore or reintroduce sexual tension when it feels like there is slack in the tension?

For such an amazingly (unnecessarily) long story, I still have no idea if you went on that hike with her.

You get that you didn't tell us, right? The whole thing built to it and you left it out entirely?

I'm going to assume you did.

Of course she backed off! Jesus, you've been flirting with her for weeks... Dancing around this crap and you finally get her out and you don't make a move.

Seems pretty evident to me what the problem is.

How to re-introduce sexual tension after you take her out on a climatic date that was building for weeks and then you disappointed her? After you've been friend zoned? Invite her over for a movie... And make sure you kiss her.

You could also try kissing her out of nowhere. Friends don't kiss friends.

That's the best I've got for your situation.

And next time --- avoid this and don't shit the bed on your date

Good luck

I didn't go on the hike. I did go for the kiss on Monday, got friend zoned. She said she would go on a date with me when and only when she breaks up with her boyfriend. She said that she would hang out with the weirdo in class before me because she doesn't trust me. I asked specifically and she said, "You are very flirty." I still threw my arm around her and she didn't reject it. And I often push her away kind of hard on her hips when we're walking next to each other and she always comes back and actually presses her arm harder against my body right after. It's crazy. How the hell do you know when you are getting friend IOI's versus interested IOI's. I mean if she doesn't kiss that's an obvious one, but what about leading up to the kiss. One major limiting belief I erased is that you have to wait for a right moment to kiss. Like the universe gives you only so many right moments and when you miss one you have to wait for the next. I replaced that belief with I kiss girls when I want to kiss girls and they desire it then too!