Mirrors, I've loosely followed this thread and I honestly can't see why you're mad at him. Nothing someone could say on a forum like this seems worth more than a "meh" one way or another.

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When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.

Mack 2.0, I would buy you a beer.

Mirrors, you sound like you are twelve. If logic won't sway you - you finger-pointing name-caller - maybe a numbers game will. As in, a larger number of other people siding with the other guy. Also, that rep stat under everyone's name.

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http://newfoundman.blogspot.com/

Again you the majority are correct. It does not affect my life in any way. If others agree or disagree, become defensive or put others down.

This is a PUA forum... I got that. It's all about people like Mack. If anyone begins to question, then suddenly they are just like their girlfriends... or ex's..

I think that is the point.

To make everyone else the crazy ex..

Peace!

Mirrors: the main problem with forums like this is that you have a bunch of betas trying to jostle for some sort of imaginary alpha male position. Then you have the fact that they read incessantly on "cocky-funny" and practice various confidence boosting methods.

It can be a rather poor mix for pleasant discussion. But knowing all that, maybe you can just let it roll off your back like water off the back of a duck.

I didn't think Mack 2.0 was trying to harsh on you or anything like that. If you're sensitive enough that anything he said bothered you, you should seriously harden the fuck up.

_________________
When in Doubt, Freeze Her Out.

OMG am I really the only one that seems to be getting Mirrors' profoundly ironic point?

Hint: Look beneath the literal meaning for the true message. As though your Kung-Fu teacher was testing you with a riddle

I'm not even sure what happened in the last two pages of this thread.

I woke up this morning and checked to see if my pupils were dilated from an acid trip or something.

Wow.

* goes back to drinking coffee and eating cold pizza *

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

update.

three weeks into the "eternal freezeout".

not a word of contact.

well, at least not on my part, as i am soooo over this shit.

but in keeping with the storyline here, i figured i would update the "sitch".

this chick has called me AND texted me every day over the last 21 days.

she sends texts...

one day "i hate you for what you've done to me"

the next "i love you, come back to me"

the next "oh, playing coy are we?"

it goes on, and on, and on, and on

she has tried every tactic possible (love, anger, jealousy, argument, gaslighting)

to get me to contact her back, to fall back into her DEN OF GAMES

the only reason i haven't changed my number is because i already did earlier this year, lol, kind of hard to explain to friends and family.

either way, this bitch is officially nuts and needs to move the fuck on.

the word for the day, kids? Personal Protection Order

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Thanks for the update.
Man I feel like you're my starcrossed soulmate - once removed. Maybe you're my equivalent on another continent.

Same situation with my ex, except I've been interacting with her very minimally.

At first she tried to 'play it coy', convincingly actually, because when a week or so later she broke down I really did not expect it. She was usually the first one to be "losing interest in the relationship" telling me I was on "thin ice" but now she has been leaving message after message everyday, crying her BRAINS out.
"I would die for another chance"
and
"I cry myself to sleep every night"
etc.


"If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism." Erich Fromm

Something to keep in mind, Mach, which probably applies in your situation as much as it does in mine, is that she was manipulative because she NEEDED you as opposed to wanting you. Breaking up with her has caused an ego rupture.

Heed my warning, things might escalate to a higher level soon. Be prepared for blackmail, false accusations of rape/violence, etc.

And a personal little trick I've figured out over the years(this is weird I know) for these situations:
My first intuitive thought would be to keep sexual thoughts/images out of my mind of the chick I'm trying to stay away from. Often times that would be the one remaining hook that she knew damn well she could still catch me with.
I figured out that explicit sexual fantasies about her would strangely FREE me from her psychic grasp. It's a transcendence.

Glad to hear you're doing well

Progress! (Sounds like it at least)

Mack 2.0... dude... (stay strong)
That is a great way to summarize a problem a lot of us face when we first move from pick-up to relationship. This seems to happen more often when people learn how to play the games without actually being comfortable in a relationship. It is pretty common to "act" in one way to try to achieve a completely unrelated goal. As you're seeing now, this kind of manipulation only really works until the person on the receiving end starts to refuse the BS.
Did this happen to you? How did you handle it?

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- Lux et Veritas -

Yeah this chick introduced me to the lovely world of 'pretend break-ups as a way of fighting'. I sincerely wish there could have been a way for me to warn her that this time was for real, but there wasn't so this sort of hit her by surprise.

Playing hard to get for the purpose of pick-up is completely different IMHO. In those situations the manipulation is done with the intention of lifting the targets spirits and intriguing them. She covered up her helpless clingyness purely for her own benefit, because she couldn't stand looking pathetic in the spotlight. I use subtle gaming to spice things up even in an LTR, but since I'm not a blood sucking fiend, it really doesn't cause problems.

I have been threatened a couple of times, but thanks to preventative measures I haven't actually been hand-cuffed or anything. It has happened numerous times to most of my good male friends. Some of them have even done time over COMPLETE BS.

The way to handle it is to respond RIGHT AWAY at the first hint of such a threat. Forget that this is a person you normally share love and intimacy with and understand that they are an intruder, a threat to your safety.
Then you have to fight fire with fire. Two routes:

The legal route.
If she makes a threat, call the police FIRST. Explain that this woman has just threatened to make false accusations. Next time you have to see her have a friend with you as a witness, or call the police and ask to be escorted. If she has already made a call DON'T run away. Don't act like a criminal.

From the street:
In some societies police involvement is undesirable. So instead she might threaten, explicitly or implicitly, to tell some some hero, her brother, her dad, whoever, that you hit her or some BS. This hasn't happened to me but I have a special response I have prepared for such a situation is it comes up. I have a friend that works in the ghetto and he knows these Peurto Rican girls that are more than happy to provide the needed service for these all too common scenarios. For like a hundred bucks they will find the woman and give her .....a stern talking to.... They would do it in that very 'girly' twisted and sadistic way, like making sure to damage her beauty and whatnot.

Every threat must be met with a threat in order to neutralize it. If you show weakness and allow yourself to feel scared, the abuser will slowly but surely become mad with power.


Really just learn to sniff out a persons moral character before getting involved with them, and hopefully none of this would ever even become necessary.

I hope that helps.

It was a good and fun read!

LOL GOK

"a stern talking to"

reminds me of a D-12 song...where Bizarre says "...or have my wife cut your throat"

here is the tune, killer jam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9nOg2-w1Gs

thanks for the well wishes, Wal

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

oh great, the text messages have taken a nefarious tone....

apparently she'd "rather be dead than alone".

oh yippee, here we go!!!!!!

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

i'm updating this thread because i know a couple of people might be following it, lol.

anyway, this chick has lost her fucking mind.

i had to lay it on the line for her. i finally contacted her back, after her stalking/harassing me via my phone and text for AN ENTIRE MONTH.

i explained to her that it was really unfortunate that things had come to this, but that she needed to understand a few things......

first, was i right to just freeze her out? idk, that's not the point.
second, was i right to dump her ass? idk, that's not the point.

THE POINT IS you can't stalk/harass someone just because you are unhappy with the manner in which they dumped you! you guys feeling me?

i mean, tell me i'm crazy to think that:

- over 100 consecutive hateful text messages is over the top?
- over 29 voicemails on my homephone (where my kids can hear them) is over the top?
- texting me every day for over a month after i've stopped talking to her is over the top?

she claimed she is just "hurt and angry"

i claimed she is "insane and unstable"

i informed her that this was her last warning. any further contact and i'm going to get a fucking personal protection order against her ass.

she was actually sending me text messages saying shit like:

- you are never going to be happy, you'll never find another woman
- you will have to change your number, i'll never stop calling you
- you are a horrible piece of shit, you will burn in hell for this

i mean, really? this thread started as discussing emotionally manipulative women (which this chick totally is) but has since morphed into emotionally UNSTABLE women.

just thought i would update this.

this is stalker shit, right?

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I really doubt she firmly means any of those things. She's just going through the cycle of a heavy breakup. I do think that some of this had to do with the way you ended it if it involved freezing her out. Nothing is worse than that. In my opinion, a freeze out is one of the most emotionally manipulative things you can do.

Since this has been going on for so long, you might want to try giving her 30 minutes to an hour of your time and talk to her over the phone. Let her say what needs to be said, and don't get pissed and retaliate. Once she's out of things to say, stay firm and make sure she knows she has no chance of getting back together with you again. That should at least give her some form of closure she needs to stop harassing you.