What to do? Been dating for 6 weeks



Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests
Post new topic Reply to topic   Board index » Tools & Techniques of Game: Meeting, Attracting and Seducing Women » Relationships


Forum rules


Relationship Subforum Rules

1. Posts about how to get a girlfriend will result in a ban.


2. Posts about your ex-girlfriend will result in a ban.

3. Any other posts not related to your current girlfriend will result in a ban.



Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 9:00 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:20 pm
Posts: 36
I have been seeing this girl for the last 6 weeks. She goes out of town for work sometimes. But she comes over and we have a lot of sex, watch a movie, talk, she stays the night most of the time.

I asked her a few times things like is this just sex or you looking for more? She said ideally a relationship and she liked hanging out with me non sex times. Then the second to last time I saw her she was being really nice and I said "Are you trying to make me hard or just fall in love?" She said "I hope both".

Ok so then she went out of town and said when she gets back she is coming to see me right away and I said ok good. She let me know she was coming back to town and I said, you coming over tonight or tomorrow? She ignored it. Then we texted a little the next day and I didn't really mention it. Then the third day I said hey come over and she said she was busy with family. Now I called her and she said she was busy but would call me later that day. She didn't call. Today she just texted me like hi and some real surface stuff. I called and she didn't pick up.

She seems very different, before she went out of town she was all like I need to see you, I miss you, etc. Now she is very distant. I dont know what could have changed as we didn't see each other and she was working the whole time.

I know shes not lying about work or family stuff because its posted stuff on social media. I get that she might just be busy but why not just be like "Hey i had some stuff i forgot about, maybe next weekend?" or something like that?

I've never had this happen before so idk what it means or what I should do. Ive only gotten to this point a handful of times because ive been in long term relationships a lot but once Ive got to this point nothing bad like this has ever happened.

I am thinking just not initiate conversation a few days and see if she hits me up. and if not then maybe next weekend try hitting her up again. idk. Good idea or should I do something else?


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 9:46 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2541
Quote:
I have been seeing this girl for the last 6 weeks. She goes out of town for work sometimes. But she comes over and we have a lot of sex, watch a movie, talk, she stays the night most of the time.
Sounds great.

Quote:
I asked her a few times things like is this just sex or you looking for more?
Ugh.

I want you to look at both quotes. One is fun, light, and a joy to read. Then look at the second quote. this is what I mean by "Debbie Downer" talks. You only get so many of these early on before you get dumped. Choose wisely.


you are ONLY six weeks in. This is nothing. Be the fun, chill, in the moment guy, not the "we need to talk" guy. Woman who have high social value will bolt on this.



Quote:
She said ideally a relationship and she liked hanging out with me non sex times. Then the second to last time I saw her she was being really nice and I said "Are you trying to make me hard or just fall in love?" She said "I hope both".
Jesus Christ. Already talking love six weeks in? If this is a 9/10 with a tendency to eat weak men alive, you just may have turned her off. You basically told her you are falling in love.

BAD idea six weeks in with socially valuable women who want a relationship to organically happen. One of the most common terms women use to tamper down needy men is "just let it happen".

Quote:
Ok so then she went out of town and said when she gets back she is coming to see me right away and I said ok good. She let me know she was coming back to town and I said, you coming over tonight or tomorrow? She ignored it.

It's a test. she's seeing if you're too needy, and lost some attraction probably after you said you were falling in love.
Quote:
Then the third day I said hey come over and she said she was busy with family.

She still has other men in her life. It's only been six weeks. Pretty normal for a socially valuable woman.

Quote:
She seems very different, before she went out of town she was all like I need to see you, I miss you, etc. Now she is very distant. I dont know what could have changed as we didn't see each other and she was working the whole time.
Give her space. Obviously she's behaving in a way that indicates she needs it.


Quote:
I've never had this happen before so idk what it means or what I should do.

It's because I'm betting this is the hottest woman you've dated. And she knows what she wants...sex, and she knows relationships happen organically. She's also independent.

Based on what you've posted, admitting you were falling in love killed the challenge for her, and the fun. Don't hit her up for a few days, see if she hits you back. She may have also hung out with an ex, or an orbiter from before you. It happens with people who have abundance.

Early courtship with socially valuable people is never "clean". There are always loose ends, because of all the abundance/options. If you show up in the most dominant, chill way, (and by giving a lot of orgasms) she will organically fade out her orbiters, and ask you for exclusivity.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:10 pm 
Offline
The Grand Puba
User avatar

Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
Posts: 5961
Location: Los Angeles
Quote:
Quote:
I have been seeing this girl for the last 6 weeks. She goes out of town for work sometimes. But she comes over and we have a lot of sex, watch a movie, talk, she stays the night most of the time.
Sounds great.

Quote:
I asked her a few times things like is this just sex or you looking for more?
Ugh.

I want you to look at both quotes. One is fun, light, and a joy to read. Then look at the second quote. this is what I mean by "Debbie Downer" talks. You only get so many of these early on before you get dumped. Choose wisely.


you are ONLY six weeks in. This is nothing. Be the fun, chill, in the moment guy, not the "we need to talk" guy. Woman who have high social value will bolt on this.



Quote:
She said ideally a relationship and she liked hanging out with me non sex times. Then the second to last time I saw her she was being really nice and I said "Are you trying to make me hard or just fall in love?" She said "I hope both".
Jesus Christ. Already talking love six weeks in? If this is a 9/10 with a tendency to eat weak men alive, you just may have turned her off. You basically told her you are falling in love.

BAD idea six weeks in with socially valuable women who want a relationship to organically happen. One of the most common terms women use to tamper down needy men is "just let it happen".

Quote:
Ok so then she went out of town and said when she gets back she is coming to see me right away and I said ok good. She let me know she was coming back to town and I said, you coming over tonight or tomorrow? She ignored it.

It's a test. she's seeing if you're too needy, and lost some attraction probably after you said you were falling in love.
Quote:
Then the third day I said hey come over and she said she was busy with family.

She still has other men in her life. It's only been six weeks. Pretty normal for a socially valuable woman.

Quote:
She seems very different, before she went out of town she was all like I need to see you, I miss you, etc. Now she is very distant. I dont know what could have changed as we didn't see each other and she was working the whole time.
Give her space. Obviously she's behaving in a way that indicates she needs it.


Quote:
I've never had this happen before so idk what it means or what I should do.

It's because I'm betting this is the hottest woman you've dated. And she knows what she wants...sex, and she knows relationships happen organically. She's also independent.

Based on what you've posted, admitting you were falling in love killed the challenge for her, and the fun. Don't hit her up for a few days, see if she hits you back. She may have also hung out with an ex, or an orbiter from before you. It happens with people who have abundance.

Early courtship with socially valuable people is never "clean". There are always loose ends, because of all the abundance/options. If you show up in the most dominant, chill way, (and by giving a lot of orgasms) she will organically fade out her orbiters, and ask you for exclusivity.
I'm with Arch on this...just six weeks in and you're keeping this from being fun. Arch teaches us about how these Debbie Downer/exclusivity all the time. For instance, when he told his current girlfriend at about 5 weeks (not yet exclusive) that she couldn't have any orbiters if they were going to be exclusive she got pissed and made him take her home. Why? It's because it wasn't even six weeks yet and that's not fun...it's Debbie Downer. If he wouldn't have done that then things would have gone more organically and it wouldn't have taken as long for them to become exclusive one week later. #WisdomOfArch #TeamStanton


Top
   
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 10:33 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue May 02, 2017 12:35 am
Posts: 117
Just today I had a woman who I have been dating and sleeping with for the last few weeks, without me bringing anything up, worrying about if exclusivity is the right thing at this point before even mentioning it. She said she doesn't want me to feel I can't date others when she feels she can't live up to what I want, as have been straight down the line with her about what I want in life as she doesn't have feelings for me yet and doesn't want the fun to stop.

I turned round to her and said all I want is to have fun with her and enjoy eachothers company, as we have been up to now, and that feelings aren't an issue and no need for commitment at this stage. I also said I date others until that point and she is entitled to the same.

Result is I am off round there Friday night and then the enitre following weekend.

If you put women under pressure, you end up pushing them away and lose them. Chill out and have fun and take the pressure off them. It's all about fun and she will bring it up when she's ready. In the meantime date other women.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:11 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2541
Quote:
If you put women under pressure, you end up pushing them away and lose them. Chill out and have fun and take the pressure off them. It's all about fun and she will bring it up when she's ready. In the meantime date other women.

100%.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:57 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:20 pm
Posts: 36
So I guess I will just not communicate with her unless she hits me up first if nothing then I will try talking to her next weekend.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 1:05 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue May 02, 2017 12:35 am
Posts: 117
Quote:
So I guess I will just not communicate with her unless she hits me up first if nothing then I will try talking to her next weekend.
Just learn from it and move on, loads of women out there. The thing is you have left that impression on her so it's too late. If you cut contact, she may hit you up but no big deal if she doesn't.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:20 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:20 pm
Posts: 36
Quote:
Quote:
So I guess I will just not communicate with her unless she hits me up first if nothing then I will try talking to her next weekend.
Just learn from it and move on, loads of women out there. The thing is you have left that impression on her so it's too late. If you cut contact, she may hit you up but no big deal if she doesn't.
I mean yeah I should have stopped trying to talk to her faster and maybe avoided some of the downer conversation but I don't think I screwed up that bad.

She knows I am talking to other girls, she asked if I could set up a threesome because she wanted to try it with a girl and I was like oh yeah no problem I have just the girl.

She had brought up some of the "not fun" things herself, I didn't just spring it on her, you are right that would be stupid. She asked me about like if i wanted to have kids and what i thought about marriage and stuff. She would say stuff like "I could picture myself screwing you and cooking for you every day" that sounds like a hint hint id like to be your girlfriend. She also was like "I just told my mom about you, not too much but she knows now im seeing you".

Plus I didn't post the rest of that conversation when she was like "yeah both" I said back "well you aren't close on either so get to work" that is not me saying I am in love at all.

At the end of the day she needs space obviously. So it doesn't change anything really. And you are all right I certainly could have done a few things better.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:31 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2541
Quote:
[
I mean yeah I should have stopped trying to talk to her faster and maybe avoided some of the downer conversation but I don't think I screwed up that bad.

You told her you loved her six weeks into courtship. So yeah, you came off as a bit needy and over-invested.

Quote:
She knows I am talking to other girls, she asked if I could set up a threesome because she wanted to try it with a girl and I was like oh yeah no problem I have just the girl.
Yeah, she wants sex and fun, not relationship talks. Note that this was BEFORE you spilled your guts in a passive/aggressive way. What a woman says, and her actions before neediness is displayed are not going to be the same after.

Quote:
She had brought up some of the "not fun" things herself, I didn't just spring it on her, you are right that would be stupid. She asked me about like if i wanted to have kids and what i thought about marriage and stuff. She would say stuff like "I could picture myself screwing you and cooking for you every day" that sounds like a hint hint id like to be your girlfriend.
It's meaningless until she says "I want to be exclusive". there are no "hints".

Quote:
She also was like "I just told my mom about you, not too much but she knows now im seeing you".
"Hey, I told my mom about you, but I'm not sure if I want to stop fucking other guys".


Get it yet?




Quote:
Plus I didn't post the rest of that conversation when she was like "yeah both" I said back "well you aren't close on either so get to work" that is not me saying I am in love at all.
you already spilled it, man. You told her you loved her/was falling for her.

Quote:
At the end of the day she needs space obviously. So it doesn't change anything really. And you are all right I certainly could have done a few things better.

six week love talk is too soon unless you want to date bigger women. I'm guessing you aren't posting the amount of times you've texted/called her. Some of what you've posted indicates your showing more investment than her.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:55 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:20 pm
Posts: 36
Quote:
you already spilled it, man. You told her you loved her/was falling for her.
I definitely did not. I asked if she was trying to make me, she said yeah, I said, well it didn't take. I don't see that as telling her i love her.

I also did not ask her to be exclusive or anything.

If she is only just wanting to fuck, then its no big loss, I am looking for a relationship at this point, not sex. So if that's the case its for the best.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 4:56 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2015 5:20 pm
Posts: 36
She just texted me apologizing and saying she wants to see me this week. I guess she was just busy or whatever.

Good check up on where I was at. I was being too serious and I was being too pesky. Now I can fix it for real before I actually screw up.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:22 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:20 am
Posts: 32
Quote:
She just texted me apologizing and saying she wants to see me this week. I guess she was just busy or whatever.

Good check up on where I was at. I was being too serious and I was being too pesky. Now I can fix it for real before I actually screw up.
Yeah, learn from the cues.

But the overarching theme here is that you are scared to screw it up with this girl. You are also worried about how you're coming across. Let her do the worrying, let her come to you, Let it breathe. Only chase for the first couple of weeks and then chill.

There is a mantra that I tell myself when I begin to feel too much too soon which checks my emotions. "Focus on you and so will she"

Good luck this weekend.


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:44 am 
Offline
MPUA Forum Enthusiast

Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:24 am
Posts: 45
Quote:
Quote:
you already spilled it, man. You told her you loved her/was falling for her.
I definitely did not. I asked if she was trying to make me, she said yeah, I said, well it didn't take. I don't see that as telling her i love her.

I also did not ask her to be exclusive or anything.

If she is only just wanting to fuck, then its no big loss, I am looking for a relationship at this point, not sex. So if that's the case its for the best.
Dude you're asking questions, but being very defensive when answered.

Don't feel like people are criticising you.

You're breaking down a few statements you said in a logical fashion, the point is emotional. You mentioned that 4 letter word to a girl, and she's gonna feel some emotions.

I've been here, recently. You've finally got one that's exactly what you want and you're doing everything you can not to fuck it up. Here's the trick, fuck it up. Be yourself, make mistakes, if u are in love with her tell her, who cares, next, next, next, and eventually that coolness everyone is talking about will come because you've got abundance and you don't NEED her anymore, you choose her.

ps Sorry I fucked your girl while she was on holiday ;)


Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 7:58 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2541
Quote:
I definitely did not. I asked if she was trying to make me, she said yeah, I said, well it didn't take. I don't see that as telling her i love her.
You were the first person to bring up the word "love". That's a passive/aggressive way of letting your feelings spill.

Quote:
I also did not ask her to be exclusive or anything.

If she is only just wanting to fuck, then its no big loss, I am looking for a relationship at this point, not sex. So if that's the case its for the best.

You're doomed. Get that relationship shit out of your head, ASAP. your job, as the man, is to keep the relationship fun. Be great in bed, party, live in the moment. Remain emotionally-centered, and chill. Rinse, repeat, and she'll be asking you for exclusivity.

Relationships do not happen because "you want a relationship". They happen based on mutual attraction, and slowly unfold organically as you have more and more fun. There is NOTHING serious about this. At all.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Last edited by Arch Stanton on Mon Nov 20, 2017 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
   
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 8:00 am 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 am
Posts: 2541
Quote:
She just texted me apologizing and saying she wants to see me this week. I guess she was just busy or whatever.
She pulled away because you got too needy. Then realized, after you gave her some space, she kinda likes you.

Quote:
Good check up on where I was at. I was being too serious and I was being too pesky. Now I can fix it for real before I actually screw up.

"Pesky" is a nice way to say "needy". But yeah, I agree.

If you want to keep women you are attracted to, be the fun, chill guy. That's it, man. And if you do this, they will chase you into a relationship.

The reason why women do most of the dumping/nexting is because men get too serious, too soon.

_________________
Pickup coach. PM for direct, simple coaching.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 23 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link