So I've been dating this girl for about 6 months. She's broken up with me probably 10 or 15 times, then immediately tries to get back together. Anyway, she's got this super chode guy friend. Who she says is her *best* friend. Buys her gifts all the time, gives her a jewelry box with a heart shaped mirror in it with a note saying he got her the "most beautiful thing in the world" that kind of shit.

I don't mind it, and don't feel threatened by it. However, this dude fucking disrespects me all the time. I've met him once, when he picked her up at my house after I fucked her. I said "What's up, dude?" and he just grunted at me. He went to her house one time, found a rubber in the floor where I'd fucked her the day before, and flipped shit, apparently. Always telling her rude shit about me, then he makes all sorts of rude comments about me. Then if she goes somewhere with him, she gets all bent out of shape because he guilt trips her about not dating him, and I'm the one that has to put up with that shit.

It's always pissed me off, but now we're running into a problem. If I attempt to hang out with any females, she loses her shit. She thinks I want to fuck them all (which isn't untrue, but I'm not going to cheat on her). I'm not going to let the double standard fly. Either she can quit hanging out with Dr. Chode (for real, chodiest dude I've ever seen), or she can just accept the fact that I'm going to hang out with these other girls.

She doesn't hang out with him as much as she used to, but it still pisses me off when shit does happen. I've brought it up before and she'll make excuses like "Well, my mom is friends with him, so I can't avoid him completely". But as I'm typing this, she's at a concert with the dude.


There are more double standards, too. She went over to one of her Ex's house while she was in town with her mom. Her mom needed some kind of Benzo or something, so they went to his house. She wound up cooking dinner for him and her mom (they both lived with him until a few months ago). Then my most recent Ex makes a FaceBook account and sends me a friend request. GF loses her shit again. "You better delete that, etc."

So in her mind, she can go cook dinner at her ex's house, but I'm not even supposed to be friends with my ex on FB. Her excuse is "Well I dated him for 5 years blah blah blah, she was just your fuck toy".

What would you guys do in these kind of situations?

Well

1. I wont be with a chick who broke up with me 15 times
2. I wont be with a chick whose friend disrespects me
3. I wont be with a chick whose friend disrespects our relationship.
4. Fuck it, the rest...you get the idea

Every time I read a post like this, it makes me wonder what is so special about the girl that makes her worth it? OP, what's so special about your girlfriend makes her worth this?

On a side note: A guy that wants to be with your girlfriend is allowed to pick her up from your house?

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I can stand to be around her for days at a time and not get bothered. lol. Plus, when I tell her to change how she does things, she actually listens. Like if I flat out tell her she can't see this dude anymore, she would stop. I just don't want to be a dick about it, unless I need to.

Yeah. I didn't see a problem with it. I didn't want to take her home, which is about 40 minutes from me. So she got him to do it. He's a pizza delivery guy, so he already knows where I live ( saw her car here when he delivered Pizza to my neighbor and got all upset) I'm heavily armed, so I don't really worry about physical escalations.

I think she just gets emotional and does it. Seems to happen right before her period. Last time she did it, I was at her house, and left so I could get some sleep before work. She woke me up at 6 in the morning, when I had just went to bed at 4. Had to leave for work at 11 and it takes me a couple of hours to fall asleep. So I got pissed and left. She said "We're done, don't ever come back." I left, and she called me about 5 minutes later crying telling me she was sorry.

But yeah, I get what you're saying.

But instead of just giving up on a chick, if they change the problematic behavior, and everything else is fine, do you not think it's worth staying with them?

Tell her that you don't want to hear a thing about you hanging out with other women as long as she hangs out with other men and he better not ever show up at your front door again unless he has a large pepperoni on the house for you.

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If she's letting a guy disrespect you, she doesnt respect you. If she's letting him disrespect your rs, she doesnt respect your rs. If she has issues with you and female friends, she doesnt trust you. If she is breaking up with you 10-15 times in 6 months and calling saying sorry, she's childish, immature and scaringly emotional. If she's going to concerts with guys who dis you and love her, and would have issues with you doing the same, she's a liar and hypocrite. You're with a chick who doesnt respect you, the rs, lies is a hyporcite and childish. Can you fix those things? No. You can tell her to stop doing whatever, she still wont stop being those things that she is.

If you think this guy is a chode, you'd have to ask yourself, (and I mean do disrespect to you)...but what are you? What are you for putting up with 15 breakups, excuses to cook for an ex, her not giving a fuck what someone says about you, and then having the audacity to dictate rules to you? What must she think of YOU? Being objective,there are 2 chodes here. I wont trust your chick, and I assume the dude talks shit because even he can see how she's playing you and lying straight to your face.

If she's letting a guy disrespect you, she doesnt respect you. If she's letting him disrespect your rs, she doesnt respect your rs. If she has issues with you and female friends, she doesnt trust you. If she is breaking up with you 10-15 times in 6 months and calling saying sorry, she's childish, immature and scaringly emotional. If she's going to concerts with guys who dis you and love her, and would have issues with you doing the same, she's a liar and hypocrite. You're with a chick who doesnt respect you, the rs, lies is a hyporcite and childish. Can you fix those things? No. You can tell her to stop doing whatever, she still wont stop being those things that she is.

If you think this guy is a chode, you'd have to ask yourself, (and I mean do disrespect to you)...but what are you? What are you for putting up with 15 breakups, excuses to cook for an ex, her not giving a fuck what someone says about you, and then having the audacity to dictate rules to you? What must she think of YOU? Being objective,there are 2 chodes here. I wont trust your chick, and I assume the dude talks shit because even he can see how she's playing you and lying straight to your face.[/quote]


You're right. This is the first somewhat serious relationship I've been in. Was just single before and having hookups with girls. I got more chodeish as time went on. I just split up with her, because she got pissed when I told her I didn't want her hanging out with that other dude anymore. Now she's begging me to stay with her. Saying she's going to drive over here after drinking (trying to guilt trip me, I suppose). It's hard to say no when a girl begs you. Is for me, anyway.

You're right. This is the first somewhat serious relationship I've been in. Was just single before and having hookups with girls. I got more chodeish as time went on. I just split up with her, because she got pissed when I told her I didn't want her hanging out with that other dude anymore. Now she's begging me to stay with her. Saying she's going to drive over here after drinking (trying to guilt trip me, I suppose). It's hard to say no when a girl begs you. Is for me, anyway.[/quote]

Fuck her off. She is using emotional mind games with you and this other guy to satisfy your needs. She knows she has total control over you as every time you walk away, she turns on the water works and come running.

I have been in a similar position before. You deserve better, even if it takes a while to move on.

She clearly wants you for sex and him for companionship. She can't have both sadly. Walk away and find a better woman, she will find some other mug who will put up with it.

Demote her to FWB.

" I said "What's up, dude?" and he just grunted at me. He went to her house one time, found a rubber in the floor where I'd fucked her the day before, and flipped shit, apparently. Always telling her rude shit about me, "

You are getting AMOGED!

Two choices:
1 Confront him (if you can take him, or have the balls to hold you ground):
WTF dude? You sound like a cow? "Moooo"?

2 Demote the GF:
"I'm going places in life.I don't need Quido or any other goons and drama, not my fault they have nothing to live for. We can hang out but I'm from a classier side of town, babe.

Maybe. The whole think had a "pouting" vibe to it. It was more like an "Ehh" noise. He may have just been saying "hey" in a very quiet tone or something. No idea, honestly. He wouldn't even look me in the eye. Had that watery eyed look (he was in his car the whole time, never got out). I haven't seen him since then, and don't really plan on seeing him again. Told her I wasn't going to put up with her disrespecting me, or being around people who do, for no other reason than he's jealous that I'm fucking her. Though I do feel that the fact that she'd even want to be around someone like that is disrespectful to me.

I have the balls to hold my ground, because I always have a 9mm pistol strapped in my belt But that's also a reason I'd want to avoid conflict. Extremely unsafe to get into some sort of fist fight. I'd pull my gun out if a physical escalation started. Not to intimidate (which is illegal as fuck), but the off chance that it could fall out of the holster during a scuffle. Be a perfect chance for some idiot to grab it and fire it.

I guess to delve a little deeper into this scenario, he says shit through text to her like "I'm just gonna leave this town, there's nothing here for me..." "I won't go drink and drive if you come with me..." That kind of stuff. Trying to get her to leave my house and go off with him. Then she gets mad at him about it. He apologizes after they get into it. She tells him she isn't ever going to date him, and he retaliates with the "I'm fine with being just friends" stuff after it gets hashed out. Then that loop repeats a few weeks or so later.

She took me out to dinner yesterday. Spent 80 bucks on it, then paid for a few things I got at the grocery store;as sort of an apology. Then we went to my grandma's for a bit and she washed her dishes. She only makes like 10 bucks an hour, so I thought that was nice of her.

You, her, him...all the same. They're stuck in a crazy cycle, you 2 are stuck in a crazy cycle.

Him to her
Her to you He blows up at her, she blows up at you.

This is the cycle you're in, break up to make up, pissed off one day to get back together. Thats them. You can either get off the rollercoaster or continue on, hoping it will change.

Yeah. I've definitely noticed the pattern. She's agreed not to hang out with him anymore. I got really pissed last time it happened, because he pisses her off, and then I have to put up with it. So if she stops hanging out with him, that may fix things. I've never flat out told her she couldn't hang out with anyone before, so I'll see how that goes, I guess. She said she wouldn't do it anymore. We'll see.

"I have a gun lol"

And you're sure you're not the chode...?

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REBORN

I don't see how carrying a firearm is relevant. Oh... You're username implies you're in the UK. You can't carry a gun