Building and displaying value are topics everyone on this forum talks about, but no one really discusses how to do it. Generally, I hear guys say "just show value" or, "she will accept your value if you are calm". While these statements touch on the concept of value, they are completely useless. For this post i'm going to talk about the different types of value; innate, internal, and external. I'm also going to discuss ways to build value.


Innate value is derived from the fact that we are men, and as such we have an inherent value to women. This is value we are born with, it is our right. In some circumstances it is our most valuable value. For example, you are on vacation into a small town in Southern America. You find yourself leading an expedition of all women into the rainforest. The most beautiful girl of the group starts ovulating 3 days into the journey. Because you are the only male and she is at the most fertile time of her cycle, a time when her hormones are raging, you gain value. You are the only male that can satisfy her urge to become pregnant. All things aside, you didn't gain value because you did anything. You gained value because you are inherently male. This is a pretty simple and extreme example, but it serves my point. I

Internal value is derived from characteristics that are unique to you. This value includes things like your personality and aspirations. These are different from innate, because although you are born with them, every man isn't granted an outgoing personality. Additional examples of internal value includes good looks or intelligence.

External qualities are adapted or learned. These are qualities that everyone can possess. For example, being skilled in conversation, or having awesome life experiences, is an acquired value. Some people are born with an advantage here, but everyone can learn to actively listen and ask questions ect. External qualities get their value from growing, learning, experience, and practice.


To build value you must take a good look at yourself in a mirror, and as lame as this sounds, a mental mirror. You must realize your strengths and weaknesses. Minimize your weaknesses and maximize your strengths. Innate value, since inherited by every man, isn't a value you can build. Internal value can be enhanced by defining your best characteristics and showcasing them. Find opportunities to display your charming smile or wit. Finally, the most easily cultivated value, external, is built by practicing things like conversation or hitting the gym.

In closing there are 3 types of value; inherent, internal, and external. You can create value by minimizing your weaknesses and finding opportunities for your strengths to shine. Practicing the art of conversation and gaining life experience are examples of ways to easily increase your value.

I will add a few thoughts on value.

I am tall so my value is physical protection, my kids will be larger than average, I have a deeper voice & I can command peoples attention as I am louder & taller than most.

I know cooking, handling crowds, anything with computers, cars or all things mechanical. Put me in front of a grill & I can work a crowd to demonstrate my culinary skills, I am relaxed so i can make fun of girls "I don't know if we can be friends, you are just interested in my body... I am not just some tall, handsome sex object who will cook for you, I have feelings as well"

Find something you are good at & work from that to develop yourself.

When you are relaxed because you are comfortable... pickup becomes like that paper triangle football game we played in high school. Just something that is fun to pass the time.

Being short can have more value as you are quicker, easy to disappear or harder to catch (Tyler @ RSD is a perfect example)

You ever try to disappear in a crowd when you are 6'-4"... yeah not gonna happen, but you 5-5 dudes can vanish! Use it to your advantage to move a girl to a quiet place.

Being wealthy gives you value as a provider.

Being bald gives you the advantage of joking about dudes with comb overs.

If you are unemployed, short & smell then your value is an example of an artist... wear a foo foo shirt & tell girls that you "Paint only using white at dawn to explore the change in your canvas has from sunlight" or some bs thing. Make it believable & you might be surprised what people believe. Remember what when you go out, you are in an Alternate Reality, going out clubbing is a fake world of fashion & status pumping. Have fun showing your entertainment value.

Make sense?

Message me if you want more.

_________________
If you want an amazing life, learn to be an amazing man.

Michael Van Marco

http://www.michaelvanmarco.com

I say throw value out. Think about it this way- when a girl looks at a guy, is she weighing him for every single one of his traits? What does she actually know about him? The best pick up artists have swapped their original identities for ones that have made them more interesting and accessible to women.

In my opinion, status is what matters. If you have the highest conveyed status in a social group, you are the leader of the group and the women will flock to you. Likewise, if you can demonstrate high status in other ways you can get just about any girl with very little effort.

I know that the idea of status seems foreign to some people, but when you think about value, the premise of it in itself is flawed. Women aren't looking at value. Even if you're a millionaire/billionaire with a 60 inch cock it's not going to have any bearing on how she feels for you in that moment.

I disagree with all of this, but in particular these lines. You are putting yourself in the "provider" role, this role is a fictional social construct that worked only sporadically through the 1970's and earlier and is nonexistent today outside of certain cultural contexts.

Having height CAN be an advantage, but it can also be a disadvantage. The idea that women like to feel protected is like 1/3 of the whole bond building process...and physical attributes don't account for that.

Again, value is incorrect. It's true that women are looking at men from an egoistic "what's in it for me?" perspective, but to state that this is attributed to a concrete set of things offered is just plain wrong. Having higher status is about being in the moment and making a girl feel special and demonstrating that you are a high quality male. Intrinsic worth is irrelevant.

I would tend to argue that Status and Value are related in a cause and effect relationship. If you have value, it is assumed you have a higher Status. If you have a higher Status, you have more Value to offer.

Which comes first? Chicken or the egg?

I do not think it matters. If you have real Status, you do not need to project it. But if you have real Value, it is assumed you have Status because of it.

I think the entire concept of Value and Status is flawed in PUA. Sure, Value and Status are attractive in and of themselves, but the notion of 'be higher value' is a horrible concept to wrap your head around. To show value is to prove Status, no matter how it is defined. Status in any context is quantifiable, but Value is not. Your Value to a woman is relative. You make her feel good, you always have Value. But as a sexual object, as a provider, as a talented individual, etc, all how we attempt to display and peddle Value are most often common forms of Value. As in, most people should have such Value.

The distinction of relative Value is important. The situational Value which changes based upon the environment and situation. In relation to the moment, your Value changes. Your Value as a man, with a masculine energy, may be Absolute. But how we show 'DHV's' is all Relative Value. It is great in the club, but at work it has less of a Value.

Your Value as a person, your skills, your personality, and so on are all Relative Value. In some situations they are great, in others not so great.

I think the best way we can learn Value in PUA, is to learn to structure our Relative Value in a way that always expresses what we want of it.

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Never use DHV stories. Because women know that's exactly what they are. Stories.

Trying to impress women with stories about how a model sucked your dick when your Ferrari broke down is DLV because you are trying to justify and qualify yourself for the girl, instead of making the girl qualify herself to you.

Paistone is right dude. Being tall is one of the most attractive traits to women. I see average tall guys with beautiful women way more than average short guys of the same "status".

There is nothing wrong with the provider role, as long as it gets you laid/relationship/married... You get what i'm saying? There is a basic misconception in our community that the provider is beta, when in fact providing is very much an alpha trait. The alpha is the highest status male of the group, but somehow I think you will try to disagree with this.

when you were talking about status, you basically described an aspect of value. You can't disagrees with me that becoming higher status in the group makes you more valuable to women. What do you do to become higher status? Build internal value like confidence and external value like friends and wealth.

Intrinsic worth should be mentioned because a lot of AFCs struggle with questioning their value to women. Anytime I feel down or I feel like a girl doesn't want to talk to me, I think about how I am inherently male and hold at least that value to women.

I appreciate your thoughtful response, but you I strongly believe you should reconsider some of your views on the game.

Fuck yeah dude! I should have definitely included this in my original post. Your value varies from woman to woman. Relative value = perceived value + actual value

It was very careless of me not to mention that your value changes from situation to situation. Thank you for bringing this up

I can't agree with you more. Stories are lame if you they actually didn't happen to you, and what are you going to do when the girl you are spitting stories at is actually a cool girl and you want to date her long term? lol

This has had some interesting posts so far...

Height/money/power/status - Being taller will (all else being equal) make it easier to pick up, as a guy who is 5"9 I acknowledge that, but also acknowledge I outperform even my fellow 6"3 coach because there are plenty of other ways to make up for the lack of height. A guy with money likely has other traits women like (focus, ambition, leadership ability, intelligence), so money is just a good indicator he has some positive traits. There are precious few actual gold diggers.

So going on, women generally care about who you are rather than what you have.

I always tell guys, the greatest form of value you can bring to any woman is to be able to make her laugh. it's the universal for all humans. You'll never hear someone say 'I hate that guy he makes me laugh too much'. And if you've ever lost a girl's attention to another guy, odds are he made her laugh more, and teased her more. I don't care if you are short and pudgy, get her laughing and a lot of your battle is fought. Not all of it mind you, but a large chunk of it.

Of course then you have the problem of guys not feeling they have anything to offer a woman. This runs very deep into our psychology, and actually has nothing to do with women what so ever, so the answers can be found with a psychologist or your own research. Martin Seligman is the long reigning expert in this field (spoiler: it all comes down to perceived control), and his book "Learned Optimism" is a good start, possibly followed by a much newer book called 'Positive Intelligence'.

If you do want to show off positive things about yourself, forget the car you drive, or anything else flashy. (I drive an expensive car, but I never mention it, I have a beautiful view of the harbour and city, but I never talk about it). Instead, find your personality traits that have value, like 'loyalty to friends' or 'driven to succeed'.

But you don't tell a story about how great you are because that's douchy. Instead, tell a story about how that positive attribute genuinely hurts you. Not a made up fake story, but a real one. There's always a dark side to any positive attribute.

e.g. LOYALTY TO FRIENDS
"One of my closest friends has been dating this girl for 4 years, I've come to know her very well. They don't believe in marriage but are trying to have a baby right now. She travels a lot for work. When she's away, he's out chasing women with me, and worse, he HATES condoms so rarely wares them. So he's potentially ruining the lives of this woman and an unborn child. The worst part is, I can't go behind his back and rat on him because he's my mate and he trusts me, it's so infuriatingly frustrating and I think we'll have to do an intervention on him or something pretty soon"

That's a real story from my life, it's my loyalty to friends hurting me. If I just told a girl that I'm 'totally trustworthy' she wouldn't believe me nearly so much as if I told the above story. Every positive trait can hurt you.. When you're smart, it's harder to sleep, or you think to much, or you overthink everything.. If you're driven to succeed you can forget to take a break, you ignore your friends too much, you avoid family. There's always a negative side to the positive.

Sharing stories this way buys you points in 2 ways. 1) Obviously it demonstrates positive personality traits 2) It demonstrates vulnerability - you aren't perfect in every way and don't pretend to be. Too many guys try too hard to look perfect and it actually erodes trust and their chances of getting any good stuff.

Vulnerability in my opinion is often one of the biggest things lacking from a budding PUA toolkit. Like any hero in any movie, it's their flaws that make them relatable and loveable.

_________________
Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction

Vulnerability has it's place if the PU is perfect, because of the Pygmalion Effect and Pratfall Effect on Psychology. By underselling who you are and letting you be cut down by Vulnerability, you exponentially increase the odds of getting a girl, but she must like you and be invested first.

Stories do work, but as far as PU tool's go they are some of the least efficacious for attraction. It is a good way to fill space in conversation. It also helps fill time and it also can elicit a specific desired response, as in it helps a lot for set up of other material or shifts in a PU such as escalation.

I personally do not use them. Sometimes a story comes out in natural conversation, but it is not a structured routine, a well versed and traveled man should be a man of stories, so they do slip out. But I do not try to force them out.

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External wealth, when outwardly displayed, doesn't add anything to attraction as far as I can tell. Attraction is animalistic and behavioral and not tied to material objects. What those objects say about the person and how they react to them says volumes more than the fact that they have them. Building friends, on the other hand, shouldn't be equated with materialism. That's a behavioral gain. If you can build a large social circle of friends, and particularly female friends then that's preselection. I think you misunderstand the function of status. Status is wherever you are at any given time. The whole alpha/beta male concept is one of the most pathetic things men have ever bought into because it's not real either. If you have one guy making an effort to control the group it's no indication that he'll do it every time he walks into the room automatically. While I would argue that it is necessary to be competitive in dating, the idea that there's a tiered ranking system in any sense is fundamentally flawed. Behavioral traits are self evident to women, they don't even think about them. "He's acting this way, so it tells me this about his character" et. al. That's why game was invented, so that men could understand these things.

On the subject of height, I think you're just seeing patterns that you recognize. I know plenty of tall guys who can't get a woman and have no skills with women. If we're considering tall 6'2 or taller, then that's a very slim margin of men, but of the ones I personally know the vast majority of them have little to no ability with women. Maybe an awkward guy who is 6'3 can get a girl who is specifically looking for tall men, but I still think he would have to have prerequisite traits that are not attached to his height. I have had many, many discussions with girls (Dozens) about how height is irrelevant. These are actual women telling me what they think, and trust me, height is not important to them. The only concern is that the man is taller than them, usually by at least a few inches. So in that sense height matters, but not to the extent that the guy has to bend down to hug them or anything ridiculous like that. I used to think like you do, but it simply is not true.

I do, however, agree that the fact that being inherently male holds its own value. But it's more in the "I'm a man, you're a woman, what else is there" kind of way. Trying to sell yourself solely as a man is a bad idea.

I agree that it's easy to get caught up on things like 'value' 'looks' 'wealthy' 'height', but I think it's dangerous to assume these thigns don't have an impact.

Height is a good one because it does impact people's perception of you. It's just easier to assume a tall person is in charge. I also notice it all the time when I'm coaching guys. It's MUCH easier for a tall guy to command a group's attention. That doesn't mean a shorter guy like myself doesn't absolutely slaughter the field with some skill behind me, it just means that there are plenty of things that can bestow slight advantages and disadvantages on us.

Here is one showing that taller people earn more money (it's a pretty well known phenomenon)
http://www.livescience.com/5552-taller- ... money.html

It's the same for women too:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... shade.html

Obviously the above examples aren't about pickup, but if height alone causes people in the work place to more likely get raises and chosen for a job, it isn't hard to see how that same effect won't take place out in the pickup world.

I just want to acknowledge the truth, without suggesting that we should give up because we don't have those things in our favour.. Because every day of my life I see guys who have none of the stereotypical pickup advantages going for them learn to attract absolutely incredible women consistently.

_________________
Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction