Dear everyone,
I recently met two girls. One is called "Alexa," the other "Chrissy." (There were also Kate and Anna but I stopped flirting with them else I would get overwhelmed because I tend to invest lots of time into girls.) Here´s my documentation regarding everything. I have skipped the part of how I actually "seduced" them because it´s already so long as it is. But if you people are enthusiast I can always elaborate. I will start with a little mail correspondence.

Myself:
In the attachment you find the photo of the month. I had a super beautiful time with you . . . Walking through the city, caressing your soft skin, eating breakfast together and playing video game . . . All of it felt wonderful to me. Three times it happened now that I woke up and thought: "Yes, this is the girl that I want to wake up next to again . . . And again." Your sweet smile gives joy to my heart. One of these days you will realise that I meant all of these corny things I said, and hopefully that won't scare you
I already miss you.
XxX

Alexa:
Dear, You dont scare me at all. Like I said it was a very happy weekend and I enjoyed so much sharing all those moments with you. I am extremely happy to have found in Europe somebody with whom I could have a deep, loyal and very authentic relationship...Hope I get to see you soon.

Myself:
How about Wednesday, noon. Would you like to visit Parliament? I can ask my friend to get you in . . .

Alexa:
It sounds good. I will do " all in my power" to be there then I think I miss you already...This cannot be healthy but it feels really awesome at the same time. Like if I had a light giving me energy in my heart. And that was really corny for me to say.

(Later she texted me that my poetic words risked setting the light in heart off into a fire. She also texted me thanking me for sharing my bed with her. I replied and texted that I was happy she helped me warm it.)

ALEXA:
Awwww that is a great picture you took of us, dear. I am very glad you feel happy. It is really wonderful to think that because of me you are a little bit more satisfied with life. It is an honor. Have you work any further in your book? I will like to read a bit more with you some other time. Again, thank you for the visit to the parlament today. It was really awesome and what you said to me it was really sweet and heart-warming.

Myself:
Dear Alexa,
It is true that because of you I feel more satisfied with life. For this reason, it is very painful to think of a time when we will be seperated, as you may have noticed today. I have continued to work on my book. I am writing about the art of seducing women, and who knows this conversation might be in it, eventually.
Kisses,

ALEXA:
Yes being apart is sad Probably the best thing for our heart's health would be to not take risks and try to forget the feelings. But that is hard and sad too...

Myself:
Dear Alexa,
Certainly the best thing for my heart´s health is to forget this last email of you! What are the chances that I will meet such an intelligent, beautiful and sweet girl such as you again? Negligible. And, besides that, I firmly rely on the power of my will, that if we want to make it work, we will make it work. When I stare into the depths of my heart I see there, without a doubt, that I am willing and resolved to go to any length. My previous experiences in relationships have left me vulnerable yet your eyes laid an incantation on me that won´t just fade.
A blessing, if it presents itself in life and is rejected, will become a curse

---
At this point I wrote an email to Annika, a former lover, to describe my feelings and experiences here at Parliament (crazy shit happens here, top officials negotiating PUA advice being the least of it).


Annika:
Looking at the photos, she seems to me like an innocent little girl . She's cute. I hope that this time it will last. She can be the girl you were looking for.
I noticed that she doesn't talk much about her feelings though, she prefers to talk about yours. Does she need more time than you to feel the same? Maybe...
Give her the time she needs. Be patient with her.

Myself:
Hello Annika
Sharp observation, yes, now that you mention it. I think that she is the girl I was looking for. Sweet and charming, no feminism bullshit, intelligent and prefers silence over empty chitchat conversation (she spaces out when people start up empty chit chat). She is the kind of woman that can be confident of her femininity without feeling the need to compete with a man. And that is quite rare in Europe nowadays. I want to keep her in my life, yet yesterday she said something while we were walking to my room in the line of: "Right now I have so many doubts about what love is." I said: "Whenever you feel those doubts, just go to church and do some prayer." I said I believed that her Catholic side helped her to be more consistent, and that without her Catholic belief she might eventually become just another postmodern girl whose expectations of life and relationships change every day and as a result are very whily and unable to maintain stable relationships. Postmodern girls are drifting and have no ideological or moral anchor and are very influenced by the image of love and romance they see in the media and read in romance novelles and also susceptible to peer pressure and rapid emotional mood changes.

Then ALEXA started to talk about her Catholic identity, how she was shocked that even girls of the very rigid Opus Dei movement had sex with several boyfriends before getting married. ALEXA always easily follows me to my room (at least thus far four times) and then she seems to space out when I make love to her and enjoy all the bodily sensations. By the way her body responds to my kisses, touch and motions I can tell that she is quite hungry for sex or at least for physical intimacy. And you know from first hand how I get once I am in the right mood with the right girl . . . And she is Über-slim and, as my friend Nick put it, "petite." She said that as a Catholic now she just wants to enjoy life because she sometimes doubted whether heaven existed but nevertheless considers herself a very Catholic girl and tries to do prayer in Church every Sunday. She said "Dear, when you write these kinds of things in your email, do you write that just to impress women? Because that´s what I think sometimes." And I said: "If you have learned something about me, then you know that I never care what another person might think of my ideas and my ways of expression. Everything I write is what boils up from my Character and flows forth from how I feel at that moment." She was very impressed by that, and she said that yesterday she felt pressured while eating a sandwitch. During lunch break, she had only eaten half of her sandwich, and a colleague had said: "Aren´t you going to eat the other half of it?" This had really bothered her. She keeps saying: "I don´t care how others feel and think about me anymore. Only of my family." But these kinds of statements point in the other direction. I have the idea she is very prone to being influenced by the outside and she sees me as an unmoveable mover and feels attracted to my resolve to do whatever the hell I want to.

Yesterday after we made out, she said again: "It was a very fun evening." And I had to laugh but she didn´t understand why. So I explained this kind of statement would make her seem like some independent woman. For me it was certainly more than "fun," as this is an understatement regarding the obvious romantical loadedness of our intimacy. You know, maybe she just broke free from her conservative values and environment and now really wants to be banged by a guy who knows exactly what he is doing with a woman and just experience and enjoy all the sensations without worrying about tomorrow . . . Yet she also said: "I would not waste my time investing in a person if I already know that person is going to disappear." She compared the experience with me to that of her previous boyfriend (an American who smoked loads of pot) and she emphasizes that with me, everything I do feels great and she really lets herself go when I "go to work" on her petite frame with all my subtle and intrusive administerings. This morning she woked up at 06.00 because she still wanted to go to her place to fresh up before leaving for work at 08.00. But then I was looking at her and noticing how beautiful she was and I felt excited and I thought: "Should I? Could I? Ah hell . . . Let´s just go for it. Live Epically!" And we made love between 06.00 and 06.30 in the morning. This is crazy awesome because as you know my ex-girlfriend had her sexuality issues and would never be up for it in the morning . . . But this girl really liked it and afterwards I sent a text message saying: "This was the most spectacular wake-up call ever." And she wrote back that it was the case and already misses me. And now we are going to set up something for Saturday afternoon. I instructed her to email me about that and I will get to pick her up after her French classes.

However I made clear to her that I feel the need to experience a deep and sweeping relationship, and she was sort of trying to guess what I really meant by that. This is what I wrote to her just now:

Light in my eyes,

In retrospect it is good that the literary event was so poorly organised and that we left because we did have a great conversation in the D-bar. I feel it did a lot to deepen our relationship. Personally, I would rather hold your hand and sit or walk in silence for an hour and enjoy the sensation of your warmth and presence, than to fill that same silence with crappy chitchat people use to hide their anxiety. Because when we are together and I see your smile from so up close, I realize that the moment is perfect and that I do not wish it to end. I find it hard to relate myself to the finite-ness of those moments. As I said: "There´s the beautiful girl ALEXA in my bed, eating chocolate together after we just made love, and now I can see her eyes drift off to sleep as she rests by my side." At these moments I tell myself that I live in the best of all possible worlds - at least for how long those moments last. If someone would take this away from me, I would not be the same anymore. Perhaps you are somewhat of a sceptic (glass half empty) regarding all this, and you would rather just enjoy the sensation of being with me while it lasts, yet it is in my nature to solidify all the good things in my life and expand them to a state of greater permanence.
Yes, your plan sounds brilliant! Would you like to find something to do after the lunch for us?
xXxxXx

Yet, I am vulnerable because of this stuff you see. I met the girl that I really, really, really want. And then I mean: Really. And when the whimsicalness gets to her (because the whimsicalness eventually always get to the woman) I will be ruined. Because I live Epically, the disaster that follows the peaks of Epicness and waits in the valleys is also of Epic proportions . . . So I find myself texting CHRISSY and I also met up three times this week. Sunday evening (here she grabbed my hand and walked in the park and after visiting some bars she kissed me passionately while I caressed her hair). Afterwards I thought it went far so I texted her and said on beforehand that I would not like things to get out of hand. Then we met on Wednesday evening and we said goodbye with a sweet kiss but did not walk hand in hand. But then when I was with ALEXA in D-bar I found myself texting CHRISSY while going to the restroom and then I said I could squeeze her into my busy schedule and she was extremely enthusiast to party with me Friday night. I said it would be deep night (because I have some business related events and dinner early evening) and I also said that I would have to get up early Saturday morning (obviously to pick up ALEXA from her French lessons but she doesn´t know that). I added that, due to my Epicness, we could party all we wanted because I would have enough energy to get up early at Saturday morning anyway. CHRISSY texted back saying: "If that is the case, then your Epicness will be justified." With other word implying that she was out to party very wildly. CHRISSY has had these awesome plans with me like going to Berlin for a week and to Cyprus in summer.

For now I´m going with Nick´s advice and try the water with ALEXA See how committed she is and if she can be loyal. I´ll keep the electricity between myself and CHRISSY alive meanwhile. I texted her: "I hope our goodbye last night made your heart beat a little faster." Her reply. "That´ll be for you to guess " My greatest power is my energy. Since this week I met up three times with CHRISSY (Sunday eve. Wed. eve. Frid. eve.) and ALEXA (Tuesday eve, Thurs. eve. Sat.) they will not be able to imagine that I keep this up.

Advices and comments much appreciated!!

HOLY FUCK

This is what happened. Colleague cancelled lunch. Mailed Alexa to have lunch together. It set it up in a beautiful park where we looked out on trees, birds, and fountains of water glimmering under the frigid wintersun. Had a nice casual chat and thought of some stuff to visit later this week. Then said bye bye, nothing overly emotional.

Return to office. She emailed me saying: "I don´t know if our personalities match sufficiently to be boyfriend and girlfriend. You want something serious but I don´t know you well enough for something serious. What do you think?"

I wrote back a big reply. Basically saying that 1. I wanna keep going forward, II does she know what she wants? She is a Catholic but then again maybe she just wants to party wildly and discover her sexuality in this phase of life. She seems conflicted about her expectations from relationships and love. One the one hand she is glad to have found someone to build a deep and authentic relationship, on the other hand she is afraid her heart will get hurt. On the one hand she thinks it is cute that I plan to keep seeing her after my work on Parliament, on the other hand she thinks it is normal if we would not have seen each other again after our date. When I saw her face so close during our date and she kissed me . . . I could see the face of a creature so pure, like a princess, the innocence of a fairy . . . I fell in love goddamnit. I really did.

Here´s the unexpected turn. Last night I unexpectedly had a deep night meeting with Chrissy and we kissed like crazies at the end. If I invest 2 into Chrissy, she invests 3 back. With Alexa it´s not so clear. In the beginning she seemed more eager to invest than right now. So I basically kissed Chrissy with all my passion because I know that she feels for me and I wanted to reward her for being so eager.

So tonight I´m going to meet up with Chrissy and she will give me a neck massage in my room. I´m pretty sure that I could totally get it on with her, given that I´ve been holding back for a few weeks since in my heart I had already chosen for Alexa. I´ve been dating Alexa for the past month and she slept at my place 4 times and I one time at hers. But during the nights when I had a little bit of time I went out and visited clubs with Chrissy, and I threw so much energy into these girls. I allowed Chrissy to kiss me passionately a few times though, and yesterday night we went far.

Few weeks ago, during a Sunday, I visited a park with Chrissy and we held hands and kissed. She said she wanted to visit my room that week. And that ´it´ would most likely happen. I said I wanted more than ´it´. We met again during the Wednesday but then I texted on beforehand I didn´t want it to get out of hand. So we continued seeing each other . . . Now, maybe all bets are off . . .

Okay! Big update. It’s getting seriously out of hand.

Last night had a business related dinner. Afterwards met up with Chrissy. She asked if we should drink something. But then I had already been clubbing with the guy for four hours. So I said: My place. She went along wit hit. We got there and since I had texted on beforehand: “Tonight I’m all for letting it get out of hand.” She wrote back: “Sounds certainly promising.” We got to business pretty fast. Then I stopped her and said: “You are forgetting the most important part of this entire evening.”

She looked at me with a wondering look. I got up, took out my agenda, opened it. She smiled, knowing then that I was going to point at the neck massage. The massage was really good since she was a professional swimmer.
When done, I got up, grabbed her hand and stared her intensely into the eyes. I said, with solemn voice: “Chrissy, I have good news, and I have bad news, and I do think you owe it that I start out with the bad news: I think you are a wonderful woman and deserve a guy who can really give you what you deserve. Good news is; I’m that guy.” She was a bit confused but when my words got through to her we both cracked up. We started cuddling and caressing again and quickly got more intimate. Then she said: “Hey, is your attention here? You look a bit sleepy.” I said: “If I look a bit sleepy, it must be because all this seems like a dream to me.” She smiled and I followed up by saying: “Forgive me if I look a bit sleepy, it is because I do not wish to wake up from this dream.” Chrissy replied by saying: “At least you are a philosopher and not some PUA. Everything you say is genuine and not just some lines.” I said: “At least now you know who they got all their lines from.”

One thing let to another and we rapidly did the thing, more than once too. We slept and woke up next morning, went for another round and then showered. I am honestly impressed with Chrissy. We discussed that all these people today have these elevated expectations about romance. Like: “Guess what, I’m waiting for the one, and you’re not it.” And: “I’m waiting for mind blowing romance to sweep me off my feet.” So we joked about the people with this romance-novelle mindset. I said: “Chrissy, the most beautiful thing is that I spent all these nights walking through the city to meet you at the most outrageous moments. And all that without believing you were ‘the one’. “Yes,” she said. “We understand that love is something which develops over time by spending time together and sharing good and moments.” Very wise for her age (23). Then we went to her friends house to help fix it for the new residents. Pretty cool. Had to say goodbye. I was so revolted by Alexa’s email that I booked Chrissy for a stay in Holland. Even let her brush with Alexa’s toothbrush.

Then I texted Alexa and told her I was ready for the meet up to talk things through. We got to McDonalds and had some limonades. I said: “Here’s the deal. You played this really good and trapped me completely. I can’t say ‘I love you’, because if I say that I will be an unreliable guy. Because how the fuck can I say ‘I love you’ since we’ve only known each other for a month. It will seem like such a hurried and ignorant thing to say. My words wouldn’t have any value. Then, if I don’t say that I love you, then I am a total fool and a lunatic even. Because why would I be so crazy about you, and why would my mood be so dependent on you? It wouldn’t make any sense. So, you got me, and there’s nothing I can do or say.”
“There’s something you can do.” She said.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Let’s start by a kiss.”

Then we basically talked and talked and started holding hands again, and then with one look in her eyes I was mesmerized again by my dreamgirl. Then again I did pick her out of hundred girls in a disco. She’s like a drug for me, so girly, so feminine. Basically I terminated all her worries and she said her mail had been a product of stress because her ex was stalking her. Then I gave her space to invest an she asked me a few times if I wanted to do something for the weekend. Now she wants to take me to a historic city and book a hotel to spend the Saturday night . . . We kissed again and I’m still so in love. I would almost feel guilty about what I did . . . Almost that is.

Bottom line: As always I overreacted. As to the stay in Holland, it’s kind of double booked right now, since I invited both girls. Guess I’ll give it to the one who insists about it the first. When I was with Chrissy and her friends I said that all our days that we couldn’t meet were meaningless. And she said: “OMG I’m so glad that you confirm this! I had that idea all along but was waiting for the confirmation.” I said: “Well yeah, you know how busy and full my schedule is. The times at which we met were crazy, and several times a week too. I always puzzled to meet you. So you must have been able to tell from this alone.” (Basically saying that it is a big sacrifice of time and energy and that it is thus unimagineable that I had a second girlfriend)

Drawback: Due to that email of Alexa, I was so thrown off my bearing that I have basically upgraded Chrissy from serious flirt to second girlfriend within two days. Game has moved to next stage. With Epic power comes Epic responsibilities . . . Or Epic ways to avoid those.

Jesus Christ man, that is some good game, you are at a very advanced stage. How long have You been into the game and were you always good at seduction or was it's as a result pua?

Btw are you really writing a book?

I have written a book but didn't manage to get it published. It's about this topic in fact. I need someone with serious connections to get that done. So I'm writing another book about political philosophy. Basically about the nihilistic turn our society is making and this connects to relationships of nowadays.

I don't believe in PUA's. For example Chrissy dumped her ex exactly because he was a PUA. All the shit I say is awesome and it is because I live Epically. 99% of the people don't have the character to live Epically. PUA manuals can teach people some strategies and tips, but all of that assumes that women are consistent and that there are clear patterns in their thoughts. But the truth is that the behaviour of women, their moods and thoughts are incoherent and inconsistent. Their streams of emotion are like waterfalls on which no ship can be sailed.

I found out that I was good at seduction from a pretty early age, like 16, and it was because I used to read lots of high quality literature (and still do). Stuff like Poe, Ovid, Shakespeare, etc. It really expands your vocabulary and makes it easier to speak about romance and sexuality in a non-superficial way. This intrigues women. However life was very scarce in giving me opportunities to go all out. Now that I work for Parliament, nothing is holding me back.

UPDATE:
Just booked a hotel with Alexa for this weekend. We will visit a historic city. I will pick her up tomorrow after her class.
Chrissy just texted me to go out for drinks tonight.

If they ever remake the Denzel Washington movie "He Got Game," they'd have to alter the story from being about basketball to Pick-up game and the main character of Ray Allen to you, sir, Mr. Marville.

I saw your post from another thread, which inexorably lead me here. Just wanted to say I really liked a lot of which you said, especially this bit: Awesome. I felt this way w/ a girl I was dating last month. You, too, seem to have good character....at least, judging by the way you write and how you game. Prop's.

_________________
Confucius say:
Better to be pissed off than pissed on

JeanYes,
What a kind compliment and I look forward to making the movie. ^^

Yesterday we sealed the deal with the hotel. Booked it, and she ended up by mailing that she thanked me for having this adventure with her. When she said: "I'm so excited about our Epic adventure tomorrow." I replied by saying: "As am I - then again I am excited about every second I get to spend in your presence." She wrote back: "You are sweet as honey yet do not get too sticky. XX" I basically replied that I was tired and would get up tomorrow early. (MIND YOU - I did not say "I'm going to sleep" I merely implied this. This is because I went clubbing with Chrissy and if anyone would see us, I had not concocted a lie.)

Chrissy was really coming on to me and wanted to kiss me all the time. I felt like eating a piece of pie, so she bought a piece of pie for me. Really sweet. I fed her some bits of it with my spoon and then bought us two drinks. I brought my hands to the back of her head, caressed her hair, then said: "BOOM!" while making the image of an explosion with my hands.

She said: "WTF - what is it?"
Me (hazily): "Hmm, why, you don't know?"
She: "Huh? What was that?"
Me: "The mind blowing love, of course." (I hope you get this by reading this whole thread).
Obviously she laughed very hard about this joke while I controlled myself and did not even blink and sat there totally stoically. I like these little absurd tablaus. When she was there buying the piece of pie I had the opportunity to text Alexa where I sent that message described above.

Then we went to the park, and she started kissing wildly again. There was nowhere to sit so I got bored from standing. We went for a walk and I wanted to walk through the most dark part of the park on purpose "because it would be just like a fairy tale". This was like half past eleven mind you. So suddenly all unexpected there are three guys surrounding us, covered in dark. But I squeezed her hand and kept walking - I anticipated the fight in my mind if it was going to happen. But they backed off - perhaps because they read from my body language that I was not afraid of the confrontation, perhaps because they were some homo's trying to meet. Dunno. Anyway Chrissy said she had never been so afraid in her life. This moment had only lasted for about 20 seconds yet it was very thrilling. But of course it was Epic and she kissed me again. Then she brought me to the station and I went to my room.

Well, you wouldn't be making the movie. That would be me, and you would be the STAR ;o)
GJ on the park scene. You were the ultimate protector there.

_________________
Confucius say:
Better to be pissed off than pissed on

Okay people, I think that lots more people should be reading this blog / thread because I take my precious time in Parliament to update it. And my friend Nic has commented that "all my strength goes into these perverse projects". It´s a miracle how I manage to keep up to date with my work and combine that with this casanova stuff. Anyway enough about me. Let´s talk about me.

Have to tell you about Alexa: She´s pious, charming, lively, dreamy and slim. So timid and yet so full of passion. Full ten. Once she said: "But I´m so small and short". I said: "It is good because it means the beauty is better concentrated." Anyway, so we went to the historic city here in Europe. The environment was like a mixture of Dark Souls and Eternal Darkness. We were greeted not by rain but by the light of the frigid winter sun, dying yet radiant, casting looming shadows over the medieval buildings. A pristine, platinum glow reflected from the waterways upon my lover´s face as we gazed upon the scenery, and the hotel too was intriguing. The place was full of crooked, narrow corridors, small spiralling staircases and windows breathing a coruscating light. The curtains were dark in gothic style, there was ancient mirror, classic wooden furniture and a very large bath tube. Which we used twice: Once in the night, once in the morning. The breakfast was in a dungeon. Alexa remarked that the whole place made her feel vampiric, and during the nights she unleashed her vampiricism upon me.

Soon she started more to hold my hand, to kiss me every now and then, and I could tell that, requiring patience, things were going the right way (again). We sat down at a restaurant, where she asked me: "Just how can you be so confident? Your amount of self-esteem is so overwhelming that I´ve asked myself if it is an act." I looked her clearly into the eyes and said: "Do you know where I take my confidence from? I will tell you. You don´t know what it is to succeed at everything you do, to have so much vigour and potential, and still to remain unsatisfied because this one element of your life remains unfulfilled. For four years, I looked around me and saw happy people. Even very simple-minded people who never read a book in their lives, and they are happy simply by being together. And none of your friends or family understands this void that you feel because they only see your outward appearance: They only see your strength, your stamina, your drive and your knowledge. What they don´t see is the emptiness you feel inside. And so, my confidence comes from knowing exactly what I want. As soon as I see something, I know immediately how much it´s worth to me, how much I would sacrifice to get it."

"You´re so blessed to know what you want from life." Alexa said, "It´s a big talent to know what you want."
"My heart is a compass that points only in one direction." I said while grabbing her hand, caressing her knuckles with my tender fingers, "I know exactly what I want. And right now, that´s sitting across the table. I would follow you to the end of the earth. Should we lose each other one day . . . That´s where we will meet . . . The end of the earth."

We continued to speak about things. She said: "When I first saw you, because you approached me in a disco, I thought, ´here comes another guy that just wants to have sex with me tonight.´ I thought: ´Maybe I can hang out with this guy a couple of times. Maybe kiss him, eventually´. Yet I never thought I would be doing something like this - visiting this city together, sleeping in a hotel."
I replied by saying that it´s such a cliché to think that guys only want sex. I said that she should have thought differently of me, especially when I started speaking about literature after we danced and ordered a cola in that disco instead of alcohol.
"When you ordered that cola," Alexa resumed, "I thought: ´Is he doing that just to convince me not to drink?´ I thought you were trying to trick me or something."

This is where I was going to bring it. I said: "That´s the thing - I usually don´t speak to the girls in disco´s, exactly because they have this fucked up mindset you just give testimony of. They have this cliché idea in mind that all guys are just out to get into their panties. Do you know how arrogant that is? That means they already assume themselves sexually attractive enough for a guy before they´ve even met him. Against such presumption, such towering attitude, there is no chance of making good conversation. This is why - and I know you´re not going to like this because you´re a Catholic, but I´m gonna say it anyhow - this is why I would advise any guy who wants to sleep with a girl to visit a prostitute and not go to discos. Because with the prostitutes at least you don´t have to deal with the towering narcissistic ego´s. Nowadays even courteous and well-mannered guys like myself have no chance with girls because of this endless arrogance and suspicion. The reason I spoke to you was because I felt so attracted, that I would not have forgiven myself if I had not tried to start a chat. And let me tell you something else, then, too. All these opus-dei girls you speak about, with their rigid Catholic mindset, they get home to their parents with someone wealthy, like a doctor or lawyer or engineer. But at night they sneak out to hook up with immigrants and give in to their exotic fantasies."

There´s some detail I would like to report here. For instance I noticed that my hand was in close proximity to her on the table, but she didn´t grab it. This might give off the signal that it was "desperate" if I left my hand there. So instead I took a sip of cola and put my hand back at my side. If I had put my hand back without taking the sip of cola, then it would have perhaps implied desperation or rejection. Anyway I guess this is some "tech" stuff that I normally wouldn´t care about. But since I am writing this blog I guess I should put it in.

She was blown away when I told her all this. We got to the hotel, took the bath with the two of us. Got out of the bath. I looked at her and said: "You have the body of a fairy. In fact, you used to be a fairy, and lived in a well. But you found out that you liked sex a lot, and that you liked to have orgasms. And so, they clipped off your wings, because they want all fairies to be pure. But you retained a fairy's body, and the magic - I can see it whenever I look into your eyes." Of course we made Epic love after this, and then I took out the chocolate and unwrapped the paper. Because normally we eat chocolate after making love in my room. So I had saved the last piece of chocolate and brought it with me to the hotel. (Good thing that I thought of this and not decided to eat everything with Chrissy)

Alexa said: "You seem like a faithful guy to me."
I said: "What do you mean by that?"
She: "You don´t seem like the guy who would cheat."
I said: "Well, what do you consider as cheating."
She: "I consider even kissing as cheating."
Me: "Does that mean you consider me your boyfriend then?"
She: "You know I don´t like to call you my boyfriend. Three months ago, I thought my future was going to be in North-America, studying in university there, with some guy I thought I was going to marry. I had thought that for years. Instead, I broke up, and within a few months I find myself here, working in Europe, staying in a hotel with you."
Me: "Well, if you don't consider me your boyfriend, why are you talking about cheating? Because then it´s Anyone´s Game and all bets are off."
She: "Oh that´s so mean of you!"
Me: "Mean? I´m just clearing up the words you use and what they mean."
She: "You got me. Maybe we are a couple then."

We went to sleep. She said: "Sweet dreams."
I said: "Why are you telling me this?"
She said: "Because I want your dreams to be pleasant."
I said: "I don´t want to hear that. Because whatever I may dream, it can never be as Epic as reality."

Next morning we took another bath. However in the middle of the bath she said: "I´m not gonna come with you to Holland next weekend."
Holy shit!!!
She could see that I was sad. We got out of bath while she was drying her hair I texted Chrissy to remind her of my invitation.
Then I showed Alexa all the text messages that she had written me two weeks ago, about how eager she was to join me in Holland and travel with me and meet my parents. I said I had read these messages at least twenty times, and now it felt like revoking a promise.
Alexa came to sit on my lap, however at that exact moment, my phone buzzed because I had put it on silence mode, obviously!
"Ah, a message from your second girlfriend!" Alexa said.
I just shrugged it off and laughed sheepishly. Little did she know!
"I fear something bad is going to happen . . ." I said.
Her eyes became wide as a tea-disc. "Why would you say such a thing!!" she said, "What do you mean??"

My mind raced. Option 1. I tell her it´s a message from Chrissy. That if she won´t come to me in Holland, Chrissy will, and that I don´t want this, because I had chosen for Alexa in my heart. However I could not do this, if I did this, if I told the truth, she would think of me as an unreliable guy. Telling the truth might seem relieving, but in the end the backlash would be insufferable. A no go. Option 2. Not telling Alexa anything, just going with Chrissy. Mind continued to race . . . Option 2 meant that I would end up screwing another girl on Alexa´s birthday, in my house . . . It would mean that I would feel sad all this week for not being with Alexa as I planned . . . The fact she rejected her promise would continue to tear at my heart, she had seemed so eager to visit my house and meet my parents! And could I do this to Chrissy? Could I just drop her after doing all this? Chrissy seems to be so much more of a stable, secure and reliable personality, more solid and easy-going and laughing things off . . . No, it´s not in my character to just drop people that are loyal to me . . . But then . . . Would I risk this, losing a girl with the body I fall for, eyes that mesmerize millions, passionate sex-drive, sweet, caring, feminine character . . . Who even likes sex during her period, lasers her body-hairs, exercises a lot in the gym, is very ambitious and has high quality conservative life-values, even her dad is well-off . . . A girl who says she prefers deep and serious relationships . . . And was building that with me, now, as we speak . . . Could I risk losing that? No . . ."
"Tell me!! What do you mean by that!" she repeated. Another second passed. Thoughts kept racing.
"I apologize," I said, "I shouldn´t be so dramatic. What I meant to say is that, in you, I have found exactly what I like and I would not forgive myself if I lost that from my life. I would like to see us grow closer."
" You´re being so dramatic! That´s what I don´t like." she said.
"The thing is," I thought at that point: "you are in a drama. It´s called ´He´s Got Game,´ - you just don´t happen to be aware of it."

We went to a restaurant where she had a few beers. We started up long philosophical discussions. I would like to elaborate on it but this post is already long enough as it is. She said she feared she was too hard on herself, trying to be slim and exercise after drinking beers. But that every night after being strict on herself, she felt happy. I said: "Listen up. You can only use every second once. Okay you are a Catholic so you believe in heaven. But you can use every second only once, so use it Epically. Your seconds are valuable resources, so make the most out of them. Therefore, you can never be too hard on yourself. The moment you find yourself not demanding perfection from yourself - that´s the moment you should be doing something else. Never allow your weakness to trick you into thinking you´re already doing enough.

So we went back by train. During the train she said with her sweet angelic voice: "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure you can."
"Can I sleep with you tonight? I would feel sad if our adventure ended already."
I said: "That´s beautiful! I´m so happy you asked that." Cuddled her. "You´re not going to change your mind yes?"
She: "Now why would I change my mind . . .etc"
I went to the bathroom in the train. Checked phone. Chrissy had texted me. She wrote: "Due to a health thing I won´t be able to make it tonight. I will recover and let´s catch up tomorrow."
I thought: "Wow, the whole universe is conspiring to make me live Epically!"
I wrote back: "How sad! Do what you can to recover. I want you to be healthy. Kisses."
I got back to our seats and Alexa was already trying to be like: "Hey maybe I should change my mind. I feel so sad our adventure ends and I don´t want to spread this sadness to you." I thought: "No way! Not gonna happen." So I sweet-talked her back into her resolution. Then she cried, some tears rolled over her face. I kissed them away. Maybe the alochol? Three beers is kinda much for a 45 kg girl yes? Anyway we decided to go to my room by metro. Underway she was also trying to make up her mind about going or not. I said: "I knew you were going to say this. This is why I said ´are you sure you´re not going to change your mind?´ and two weeks ago we had the exact same scenario, where you started to doubt yourself here in the metro, but we ended up going to my place, had a tea and an awesome time. So we are going to follow through with the plan."

We arrived at my place. She said: "There´s been another girl in your room?"
Me: "Why would you say that?"
She: "Your suitcase is so well packed."
Me: "My mother did that for me."

Then I gave her a little present that I had brought with me from Holland and cuddled up and made intense Epic love. Same scenario when waking up. Waking up with her is always Epic. Then went to work where I started process of documentation. Already received some eager texts by Chrissy.

I read the whole thing, but the one thing I seem to be missing is the problem. It looks like things have turned out nicely given the situation and texting a second girl is probably no reason to worry, unless your texting gets "out of hand".

Things are quite, quite intense.
Spent some evenings and mornings with Chrissy. Alexa is fading into the background. My friend has analysed our correspondence and says she is slowly withdrawing herself from this relationship. For instance she rejected her proposal to meet my old folks. No new plans with her coming up. Put the ball into her court. However all this doesn´t match with the way she took my hands into hers and kissed them so passionately when we sat on the table. She said: "Three months ago, I would have found all this great. The fact you want to move forward, want to be serious. I would have loved actuality over potentiality. Today, I´m very postmodern and very insecure about myself. I might say we are a couple today, and freak out about it tomorrow."

Regardless of all that, last night was truly Epic. I texted Chrissy at like 23.00 and she still came to pick me up. She had celebrations going on, too. She said: "It is never too late to live Epically." I only find relief in her direct presence. Yesterday I said: "Chrissy, you have no idea. Without me, the ground beneath my feet would have turned to dust, I would have toppled over into an abyss of utter insanity." She thought it was sweet, having no idea how true it was.

Remember! This is the greatest advice I can give to any of you: As Polybius wrote - "Who could have imagined, only thirty years ago, that the very name of the Persians would be wiped out forever?" No matter how great or definite or solid something might seem, like sharing a hotel with your lover and declaring each other love and fidelity, the very next minute it might have perished. There are no remedies for the whimsicalness of woman. The Catholics have tried to make Alexa go to church, do prayers, participate in rituals, and she still feels afraid of true commitments. Religion was invented to solidify our psyches, mould our wishes, impulses and actions into coherence, but it fails against the onslaught of this Postmodern age, in which relationships dwindle yet never flourish.

Two nights ago I told Chrissy: "Some girls are like fairies. Except they love sex too much to stay pure, so they lose their wings and end up living among man. Yet they retain the body of fairies, as well as their magic. Other girls are like catterpillars: They find themselves trapped by their close-minded, religiously determined and repetitive environment. Then they form cocoons, dreaming of the night life of cosmopolitan cities, hankering to escape, to travel the world and to party in the neonlight. And then, one day, the cocoon breaks - they spread their wings and flutter off into the great unkown. You, Chrissy, are not a fairy. But you are a little butterfly."

Last night we had a drink. Chrissy said: "Your room is not so far from here."
Me: "Why, were you planning on going there?"
She: "Don´t say you didn´t have it in mind."

Later, while walking: "Are you sure we should be doing this?"
Me: "Hmm, well, actually, I´m not. But since our feet are taking us there while we wonder, I guess we will."
She laughed.

Okay. Time for an update.

Lots of stuff has happened. Some guy stealing my identity, falling sick and being in Parliament's infirmary, severe neck ache, people trying to close down my gym. But I guess in the end I will rule over all, because that's what I always do.

As I write this post Chrissy texts me on my phone. She asks me if I had any naughty thoughts during the day. You have to know she's slightly asmatic and as a result sometimes gasps for air. This is what I wrote to her in response:
"Well same thing as always: You being Über-slim and me f*cking the living daylights out of you till . . . I would say you can't breathe yet this already frequently occurred."
She says: "Hahahahahaha. Well my asthma is partly to blame, yet I would love this to happen only if I couldn't breathe due to your hard fucking me. It will be so hard to control myself on my way to your house." (She will cut short her holidays to some big city in Europe to see me)

We were just joking around about her going clubbing earlier tonight. And I said: "Watch out for all those PUA's coming to talk to you." And she said: "Well I always let those PUA's talk and talk. I can recognize them from a mile's distance. And I smile and laugh, then at the end of the night say it's been fun good night. You should see the looks on their faces!"