hollywoodinpa
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 09 Oct 2007
Posts: 188
Location: HARRISBURG PA
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votes: 14
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 Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:58 pm Post subject: TIPS TO HELP WITH APPROACH ANXIETY |
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How do you get over approach anxiety? Anxiety is like a fire. The best way to extinguish anxiety is to smoother it. Anxiety's oxygen is time. If you have time to think about something you will become anxious. Don't give yourself time. Find all those moments when you would be thinking of approaching and squish them out of existence.
For instance, don't make up an opener from a distance. That gives you too much time to become anxious, as you second guess yourself, search for the right opener and make the walk over to her. That crap gives you too much time to think. Instead as soon as you see someone who looks interesting walk to within conversational distance and then create an opener. Chances are you will have come up with something that is natural and much more in the moment and unrehearse sounding. Sure you may say something stupid - you are putting yourself on the spot. But at least you will say something and not spend time being anxious about it.
Also, give up the need for perfection. Here is a tip about perfectionists: they don't do anything. Resign yourself to not saying the perfect thing. Trying to say the perfect thing only puts too much importance on the interaction. Give yourself permission to confidently and unremorsefully say less than perfect things. You want to play loose, carefree and a little dangerous with the interaction - that is sexy.... |
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