I have posted many times regarding this one girl, and I can proudly admit that I am an rAFC. I met this HB9 who was a coworker, I had my eyes set on her the first day I met her. But back then I had a girlfriend, and even though this HB9 and I have had much in common, I could never bring myself to make a move.
We started hanging out more often, gotten closer to each other, but because of my relationship status I could never do much with this girl, and it seemed like a huge inadvertent push-pull on my side, because she was totally into me after 2 months of hanging out. Asking out to the clubs, hugging my arm, trying to kiss me. But I knew I couldn't touch her because of my girlfriend.
Then one day I had to break up with my girlfriend because it wasn't fair to her. HB9 and I then became really close on an intimate level, and we have then slept together a few times. I made her cum multiple times in one night, and we were really into each other. She got really jealous when I mentioned that I have other girls that I am seeing as well, and I had the complete upper hand at the point.
Unfortunately I became needy and supremely AFC, trying to hang out with her all the time and texting her almost 24/7. I was insecure inside, because I knew she had a lot of guys eyeing her. She then left for a 3 week long family trip, and that's when things went downhill. I started wanting to hang out more because she was leaving for another state in August, and I didn't want to lose her. I just wanted to see her all the time. We have so much in common, and we have fun together. She even hinted at as being a couple.
I started becoming extremely needy and made it almost all about sex, just wanting to get her over to my place so we could f-close. We still k-close everytime we meet, and then one day we had a huge argument about me needing to give her space, and she said she just wanted my friendship.
Fortunately I plowed through that, and the next time we met she was all over me again, sexting and handjobs and fingering (but no sex, because she was on the rag). That's when I popped the dreaded three words: I love you. I did make her cum again that day even though we didn't have sex.
My hormones took over again and I became over-needy once more. I just wanted to bang her all the time because the sex was AMAZING. That's when we had another huge argument, and I said maybe we should take a break because obviously my love for her was getting in the way of our friendship, and she agreed. I froze her out for a couple of days, and still no contact from her.
She then became really distant, and then when I finally talked to her (because we were going to a weekend-long concert) she said she just doesn't care anymore, because the drama was too much for her. She didn't even want to dance with me at the concert, even for fun. When I was dancing with myself and having fun, she did keep glancing over at me and making eye contact, but obviously avoiding physical contact with me.
She said she was freaked out because the whole situation with me became all about sex, and that she loved the way we would spend time doing random trips together and having conversations. She said we would not be good in a relationship together, and that she needed time to transition from being FWBs to just simply friends. She also said that she was sorry that sleeping with me messed up our friendship. I said, "I respect the fact that you need time to think things through, so when you finally get over it maybe we can have a decently silly convo again
".
I really treasure her as a friend because we really had a lot of fun, and we click on all levels. I just want things to go back to the way we were when we were friends, that's all I really want. She's leaving this Sunday, and on Thursday I'm meeting her again for one last concert together with her friends.
To all girls out there: is there really a need for time to "transition from FWBs to friends"? Or is it just plain bullshit?
To all the senior PUAs out there: I know I should move on, but this time her friendship is important to me, not to mention she would make a good pivot. Is there any way to salvage this and keep her as a friend?
CHAT
