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Imperial
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Joined: 02 Sep 2007
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Location: Arizona
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 Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:07 pm Post subject: The Secret to overcoming approach anxiety |
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There is really no one special secret to overcoming approach anxiety. You can perform many different techniques like tapping your inner game, meditation etc. But the key is one thing and one thing only. Forget about what other people think. Thats complete bullshit. People are only thinking about what you think about them. I just dont care what people think about me anymore. Remember. You only live once. You can be dead in one second. Would you like to look back on your life and see you always allowed fear to control you? Dont worry about opinions.
Just talk to people. If they dont like you who gives a fuck. Their lose. |
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mikePUA
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| Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:47 am Post subject: |
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| WOW i need to quote the last few sentences everytime before i go out |
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JackyKernels
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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Very true, and i agree to full extent.
However, what i believe is holding us all back is the fear of awkwardness, the fear of your mind going blank, the fear of potentially "fucking up" the one and only chance you have. Therefore to avoid "fucking up" we sit back , analyze, and plan/prepare. With respect to planning and preparing, we still hesitate and never come up with a single plan because we keep THINKING to ourselves that it might not work and we will lose all our chances with that hot girl.  |
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Spark
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| Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | However, what i believe is holding us all back is the fear of awkwardness, the fear of your mind going blank, the fear of potentially "fucking up" the one and only chance you have. Therefore to avoid "fucking up" we sit back , analyze, and plan/prepare. With respect to planning and preparing, we still hesitate and never come up with a single plan because we keep THINKING to ourselves that it might not work and we will lose all our chances with that hot girl. |
Thats exactly the reason why it is so important tobreak that cycle. As seen through most arts, pratice makes perfect. Yes, there is not doubt in my mind that if you step out of your comfort zone, at first its going to be awful, scary, and just downright an undesireable thing to do. However, the more you do it, the more comfortable you become in those situations. Rejections are no longer recounding blows, they are tiny pricks that have no real significance. But the only way to achieve that state is to be hurt and rejected. Martial artists spend a good deal of time training themselves not to feel physical pain. The first time someone tries to punch through a cement block, its going to hurt like hell. But the more training and pratice that they do, the less they feel the pain. Same idea applies socially. |
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mardy
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| Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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I very much agree to every sentence that Imperial said here... about getting rid of AA...
I myself am not PUA... I m still learning the art... To tell u the truth... I was complete AFC three weeks ago... and now I have changed a lot... my confidence level has jumped like crazy, have been able to get rid of AA now...
When I was going thru the forums... getting some advice and reading thru just to develop my game... I learned so much... but just couple little quotations that I liked that were mentioned on this forum and I had heard which might help u do better....
"You only got fuckin 28000 days to live, if u wanna do it then do it right now....not tomo...not later sometime...but make it happen right now" -Kosmo contestent VH1 Pickup Artist Season 1...
"When you go talk to anybody whether it be a girl or a guy or in general... you are not qualifying urself to them... but makin them qualify for you... Remember you are the prize not them..."
"Who gives a shit... of what they think about me... if a guy like Neil Strauss (I saw him on TV show one day) can nail chicks and be claimed as the pickup guru in his Book... then I can certainly do it... Cuz I kno for a fact that I look better then him....lmaoooo"
Not only this... I mean these are just some sentences that help me boost my inner confidence when I try to approach anybody... and once I open up a set the rest takes care of itself...
Remember... wat Thomas Edison said... "I did not fail 1000 times in making a light bulb... I just found out 1000 ways you cannot make a light bulb" 
Life also plays the Cat string routine on us  ... Gives us wat we need...but it does not lay it in our hands... we have to reach out for it... and get it... life makes us work for it...
So go out there... ENJOY!!!! and Have Fun!!! and I m pretty sure... you will get what you need!!! |
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Killians
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Joined: 09 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:56 am Post subject: |
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If you have approach anxiety about talking to a girl just think that they are humans too. They eat, sleep, crap just like everyone else.
No matter what you are gonna have people who love you and hate you regardless if you do or dont do anything so you might as well do it! |
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BuzzKilla
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 12:08 am Post subject: |
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I have approach anxiety, but like mystery said use it, or just annoy it. I personally always get anxiety when I'm approaching people in general but I don't let the anxiety control me, its like a adrenaline rush, it makes it exciting so don't be afraid, use the boost of energy.
Imperial I love your Mentality. I hope one day I can just say fuck what people think.
Gambler Thats my biggest Fear, actually thats my only fear. |
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DTM
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Joined: 28 Aug 2007
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| Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:21 am Post subject: Re: The Secret to overcoming approach anxiety |
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| Imperial wrote: | | You only live once. You can be dead in one second. Would you like to look back on your life and see you always allowed fear to control you? |
dude thats a good point. makes you think.... |
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WalterWoods
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Joined: 12 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:53 am Post subject: |
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| Yeah I think you have a crucial insight that I came to myself that I think helps a lot. People aren't thinking about what they think of you. They're just like you wondering what the other person thinks of them. Thats crucially important. It helps a lot to reframe it and wonder not what they're thinking about you but what they're thinking about what you're thinking. Act according to that. Thats the most confident pose. |
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Closer_To_God
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| Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 5:57 pm Post subject: |
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Nice
Probably been said before but a great mindset to have when approaching anyone is not "will they like me" but "will I like them."
Your in contol of your feelings not them. |
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HumourMe
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| Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 5:13 pm Post subject: a bit of personal input |
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you know, i may not be a mPua but i know a bit about AA reason being my history.... i was a fat dude till i was 15, working out of it now i was rejected by every girl i knew and the outcome is i am only starting to get friends now..
anyways... to the AA bit, as i have said, i was not at all confident, i was shy, i was a metal head and i did not know a fucking thing about about women... however, my father told me something..... he looks like father xmas, but that is beside the point
here it is:
women are as shy as you are, they are even more selfconscious than you are,
what i mean by this is, all you have to do is be nice
psyche yourself up!
look at yourself smile, tell yourself you look good, smile more.... dance on your seat, muster up energy that you will compose into the approach later.
secondly attract attention to yourself!
it will feel very very very weird at first, you will want to take whatever is attracting the attention off as quick as possible. MY GOD!, the first time i walked out of my house wearing extravagant clothes i was crying with fear of what people thought of me.
When you do your approach you will realise that they either love what you are wearing and will try and steal it from you (learnt this from past experience) or they will chat and everything will be cool.... put it this way, many of the most gorgeous girls are self-riteous, they really really don't give a shit.
and last of all, Have fun and be happy, put yourself in the "zone"
you are you and nobody can change that, the only people that are worth meeting you are the people that will like you for who you are, not what you are wearing or how you look, although.. looking good is always usefull
some of this may be off the ball so alter it guys a bit... this is what i have done... i have only started, but about 7 girls slapped my arse last night, i can't complain.
love
G |
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DaddyAint Pimpin
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Joined: 27 May 2008
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:28 am Post subject: Re: The Secret to overcoming approach anxiety |
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| Imperial wrote: | There is really no one special secret to overcoming approach anxiety. You can perform many different techniques like tapping your inner game, meditation etc. But the key is one thing and one thing only. Forget about what other people think. Thats complete bullshit. People are only thinking about what you think about them. I just dont care what people think about me anymore. Remember. You only live once. You can be dead in one second. Would you like to look back on your life and see you always allowed fear to control you? Dont worry about opinions.
Just talk to people. If they dont like you who gives a fuck. Their lose. |
You are the shit and wow |
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complex
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| Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 11:49 pm Post subject: |
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Go imperial...its true... its better to be in a constant social happy state then lone wolf when it comes to pickup...The more you talk to people...any people.. the more social you become and the easier aa goes away.Walk around outside and ask everyone you see for direction .. or ask them bullshit questions.Who cares if they are stupid? Dont give a fuck ever about those that judge you..And always smile when talking to people..be positive so others can feel good emotions from you....
"Those who dont smile don't get laid "
-MYSTERY |
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darkme_legendary
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Joined: 09 Jun 2008
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| Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:12 pm Post subject: Re: The Secret to overcoming approach anxiety |
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| Imperial wrote: | There is really no one special secret to overcoming approach anxiety. You can perform many different techniques like tapping your inner game, meditation etc. But the key is one thing and one thing only. Forget about what other people think. Thats complete bullshit. People are only thinking about what you think about them. I just dont care what people think about me anymore. Remember. You only live once. You can be dead in one second. Would you like to look back on your life and see you always allowed fear to control you? Dont worry about opinions.
Just talk to people. If they dont like you who gives a fuck. Their lose. |
It doesn't mean that because you didn't find the secret there is no way to overcome it.
Telling to a man that "You only live once" won't do it. Try it 10 times and see that it doesn't work.
The real thing, is that AA can be destroyed. And you don't do this by understanding every aspect of the approach. If you want to undo all this BS that was accumulated over years and years you need to attack AA at an emotional level. For most people, AA is a little more complex thing that is determined by a lot of other ramifications.
For some people(5%), this understanding will do it..especially if they have no major issues right from the beginning. |
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Mr Butabi
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Joined: 28 May 2008
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| Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:30 am Post subject: |
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| Great advice, thanks! |
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