Author Message
 Post subject: The PUA joke thread.
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 9:35 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:21 pm
Posts: 1618
Inspired by Chief :lol:
Quote:
"Pickup artists" are so misogynistic that they call women condescendingly derogatory names such as "sweetie" or "girl." Oh, the profanity!

"Pickup artists" don't need to BUY women drinks... they have drinks prepared in their wallets already.

If you have five dollars and a "pickup artist" has five dollars, he will buy more drinks for girls than you.

There is no chin behind a "pickup artist's" beard. There is only another drink he bought for you.

"Pickup artists" are sometimes known to try and get women to drink their money.

The chief export of "pickup artists" is supplication.

If you ask a "pickup artist" what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" you're already drunk.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. But then a "pickup artist" bought it for you.

When the "pickup artist" was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he bought it so many drinks that it became a Wendy's.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, a "pickup artist" can actually buy you a drink yesterday.
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he doesn't push himself up he pushes the earth down, a Pick up artist will just get the earth hammered in a club, and ask it to move using fancy language.

When Johnny Soporno and AFC Adam walk into the same room, they generate enough supplicating energy to out of thin air, create a drink for you, .

Pick up artists used to be able to sleep with any women they wanted through fancy words; It was only when a large pack of "Ottoresus Kreiselerus" (the pick up artists natural predator) interviened that Pick up artist numbers were culled and the practise of "fancy wording" almost died out.

In certain states of the U.S.A where Pick up artists have bribed politicians with drinks their are no bars; just randomly allocated area's in the middle of the street where pick up artists will buy you drinks.

Post yours up (Y) :lol:


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 10:14 pm 
Offline
Moderator Emeritus

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:13 pm
Posts: 2151
A PUA can run soo fast (from ottoresus) he can actually get back to himself before he started (ofc, to give himself a drink).

Before the big bang there was nothing, a PUA gave this nothing a drink and then used fancy works to encourage the nothing to have a big bang.

Superman and a PUA once had a fight, the PUA gave superman a drink and got him SOOO drunk superman wore his underware ontop of his trousers!

Chuck Norris once tried to AMOG a PUA, just before he roundhouse kicked the PUA he was given a drink...

Some old myths talk of a fluffy hat that gave the wearer the powers of a PUA...

A PUA can win a game of connect 4 with a HB in only 3 moves... because he gets her drunk.

No mPUA actually writes books, he just gives the letters drinks and they stumble into place..

The quickest way to a persons heart is through a PUA's drink..


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 11:27 am 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 625
Location: Vancouver
The #1 thing a PUA looks for in a girl is intelligence. If a girl doesn't have that, then she's HIS!

_________________
There are no failures, only feedback.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 3:56 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Addict
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2008 7:12 pm
Posts: 222
Location: cornwall
what do you call a man who considers himself pua but has no skill except to get women drunk?

charlie sheen.

BURN

_________________
Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:40 pm 
Offline
Dedicated Member

Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 3:42 am
Posts: 625
Location: Vancouver
A wise man hears one word and understands two. A pickup artist hears one word and understands he needs to buy her a drink.

_________________
There are no failures, only feedback.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:07 pm 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:09 am
Posts: 187
A young AFC turned PUA had been wooing a very attractive HB10 for months. They had gone on several dates, and had become very close, and very happy together. The two were still in High School, and on prom night, the boy asked the girl out. She happily accepted, and from the way she looked at him the PUA was sure he was finally going to get some nookie that night.

The boy has never had sex before and is very excited. He goes to the pharmacy to pick up some condoms. He has never done so before, so he asks the pharmacist for help.The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. The pharmacist raises his eyebrows, but lets him take it.

The day before prom night, the girl tells the boy that she would like him to meet her parents, and invites him over for dinner. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down, hands obscuring his face. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:11 pm 
Offline
Moderator Emeritus

Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:13 pm
Posts: 2151
Chi, i have heard that before and it made me laugh my ass off the first time :lol:


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 4:40 pm 
Offline
New to MPUA Forum

Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2008 3:37 pm
Posts: 11
Location: Bulgaria
- How many Pick-up artists does it take to screw a light bulb?
- Just one. He will buy the light bulb drinks untill it screws itself.
or
- Just one, but he will get the light bulb drunk before screwing it. (So lame.)

***

- *Knock, Knock*
- Who's there?
- Pua
- Pua wh... oh, thanks for the drink.

_________________
Quote:
Soon I will offer classes where whenever someone says something AFC I get to use a shock collar on them. I'm expecting amazingly fast improvement rates. :lol:


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 5:28 pm 
Offline
PUA Forum Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:21 pm
Posts: 1618
My old favourite...

Q: How many PUA's does it take to change a light bulb?


A: One to change the light bulb, three to say the method used changing the light bulb was bullshit and just luck, two to complain about it not being the natural way to change it and encourage PUA's to use candals instead of lightbulbs and fifteen to panic in insecurity when the first PUA thinks of telling the local electrition about how he changed the lightbulb.

Mr T pities the fool who the Pick Up Artist didn't buy a drink for.

Pick Up Artists are famous for their fancy launguage; as such the current top 50 world scrabble champions are also pick up artists.


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:16 am 
Offline
Member of MPUA Forum

Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:09 am
Posts: 187
Image


Top
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 3:13 pm 
Offline
MPUA Forum Zealot
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:06 am
Posts: 324
Website: http://myspace.com
AOL: mrfickle10
Location: earth
Jesus was a pickup artist; he baught sooooooooo many drinks.

Moses didn't part the red sea his wing just baught drinks until everyone thought he did.

Rye Lee is simply taking time off from the community so he can go cry at his oneitis's doorstep.

Tyler Durden spends his weekends on his knees begging girls to give him their phone number

Hurricane katrina was simply the product of mystrey going to new orleans and buyin everyone drinks.

Style supplicated so much. That a girl actually died from having his credit card shoved down her throat


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 

All times are UTC


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  

Can we be honest?

We want your email address. Let me send you the best seduction techniques ever devised... because they are really good.
close-link