A few words about myself:
First of all, I am not so heavily engaged in 'the game' technique and the whole PUA routine that some people on this forum endorse. I prefer to take bits and pieces from different theories, especially body language and psychology. I do like the book, the game, and I use parts of it, but at my own discretion. Think of me as a subtler and less direct version of the style: I prefer day game over night game and 'peacock theory' for me means trimming my nails nicely and wearing a nice shirt, jacket and clothes, not dressing like a freak (to be blunt). I also don't use silly words like 'neg', 'kino', 'IOI', etc - I just refer instead to playfully teasing, body contact or indicators of interest. Mind you, some of those things definitely do work but again subtlety is my style.
I know that last night I made somebody guess where it was I came from to which she responded that I guess her whereabouts instead. I made the mistake of doing so (I should have kept teasing her) and her reaction was definitely jokey but somewhat negative or so I perceived. I believe she turned around to her friends, either to block me out or to try and reel me in as some kind of test - to which I responded by approaching another girl instead. But then she approached me later when I was speaking to this other girl who was just bait really and made quite close contact so I realised the strategy had worked at least partially (either that or having bait worked well enough to redeem my error). What I did then was to speak over my shoulder, with my body very slightly tilted away from her. And this works a charm because it conveys that (a) you are not desperate for her attention (which I never am anyway because I train my brain along the lines of 'plenty of fish in the sea'), (b) you are a prize that needs to be fought for (if you look like you are about to walk away, then she needs to fight to regain your attention). Also, if you are approaching a stranger, then you absolutely have to do this - it is a must. It sets up a time constraint on your interaction and shows that you are not going to be creepy and keep her ther for too long. Anyway, the mistake I made was that as she fought to walk around my body and close in, I did not turn around myself. Partly because I was not able to think fast enough whilst we were also engaged in conversation. When I left her (or she left me, can't remember which) I had intended to go back after a while since this works very well if you intend for the woman to miss you. I did see her again, but it was in a club, so too noisy to make much conversation - instead I brushed my hand against her arm lightly, making eye contact. At this point I was being too analytical: I was wondering whether to continue the game of cat-string or not. I decided that asking her to dance would make me seem too desperate at this point. I was probably wrong. I noticed that the guy she started to speak with, she more or less immediately cut him off when I went to the bar but it is perfectly possible I am reading into this all to deeply. Its very easy to create things in your mind. Of course though, its always good for your ego to pretend to yourself that every woman in the room would die to have you, so perhaps making up excuses in your head (e.g. she's just playing hard to get) is useful.
Admittedly, I'm something of a social robot but I apply theory to practice most days unlike some internet forum nerds and will talk to quite a few people on a regular basis (men and women). Although I am not especially intimidated by the opposite sex, or people in general, I can nonetheless find it difficult to establish rapport, partly because I have a tendency to 'trivialise' conversation, even if I maintain it with a smile and positive body language.
I also generally prefer a woman with class and intellect, not just good looks although I am quite picky on the latter as well. Whereas I was a very shallow teenager when it came to looks, I am finding that I can put looks to one side if the girl has an 'aura' about her. But there does need to be a physical chemistry of sorts. When I mention 'class', I am also referring to the kind of clothes she wears: sophisticated dresses, sparkly but small and precious jewellery as well as a nice smell are all good turn ons and these things help demonstrate that the woman carries herself with both confidence and style. Yet, although all of this may seem deep and profound, I am not looking for relationships, mainly because I want to explore the chemistry between myself and lots of different women.
Fortunately, I am at university so there are plenty of women like that. On the other hand, the nightlife over here is increasingly becoming dominated by the 'chav scene' although many places do student nights only so that is definitely a positive (if you are American, you may be unfamiliar with the term chav - it is essentially a lowlife prone to violence and raucous behaviour not to mention bold public displays of one's masculinity in groups of other chavs). It might sound like I am a snob at the moment but that is not the case, I assure you, where I was brought up was certainly not posh and you would probably be rather surprised to hear my accent which is quite a broad, regional accent (I can't say where I am from so as to protect my anonymity). I just tend to have a rather flowery writing style.
I've been waiting for a chance to go out so I can post some 'gaming' material, and I'm typing this now while the memory is fresh. The main problem I can see is that most of it is just essentially flirtatious chit-chat, with somewhat seductive eye contact, flattery through not too obvious body language mimcry and mild physical contact. Yes, I take a very indirect route, admittedly and never approach a woman with the intent of sex but with the intent of making a spiritual connection. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though as she will likely let her guard down if she doesn't feel pressurised. The trick is to then escalate.
As for fear: fear is rarely on my mind. The main thing I fear is avoiding the aggressive boyfriend type so this can make approaching women in groups more difficult. I tend to use association to approach women instead. What I mean is that I can associate myself with the woman by pointing out that she is a friend of a friend, or that she is on my course or that she is at the same university. Its good to do this since people in general can be weary around strangers: now you are not so much of a stranger. Or, if she is a complete stranger, I will use association to point out that we are in the same place, e.g. we are both waiting or a haircut. I will do this simply by commenting on the surroundings. I will playfully tease the woman. I will use association to connect the topic of discussion to more spiritual or maybe even a more sexual level. I think the cube is a good bet for this but I need to figure out how to relate it to the flow of conversation and how to remember it more effectively. I am actually finding that loud bars can be good because they provide an excuse for you to get up close and personal so you can speak softly into the other person's ear, though it is crucial not to lose eye contact. If anything I maintained slightly too much eye contact the other night; I believe it is not supposed to be longer than 70% of the time although when you are flirting its a different kettle of fish. I also tend to be the type of person who has to pause for much thought so I try to use those silences to build up tension rather than nervously grasping for words like 'umm' and 'ahh'.
I was going to give an overview of last night, but to be honest I can't remember too many of the details (I spoke and flirted with at least 9 or 10 girls) and I am trying to maintain my anonymity - I am sure that if someone who read this who knew me on a personal level would recognise me if I did give out too many details. A lot of the women I was speaking to were reasonably attractive but I mainly spoke to them for social proof.
By the way, I normally have more humour than this but I have not been able to convey it for some reason. I certainly endeavour to make the occasional witty remark around women.
Oh, by the way some girl was insisting I get a drink because apparently I looked nervous (which was odd because I felt completely fine and pretty sure my body language was relaxed - I tend to droop my shoulders down to the lowest point and try to hold my drink by my side, although it tends to make it tricky not to spill it). Now I've been in social situations where I've been completely dependent on the booze and I was insistent to myself that tonight I wasn't going to touch a drop, it was all gonna be about confidence in myself, so I tried to turn the situation into a joke by playing the 5 lies game but she responded to it in a weird way
CHAT
).
