Quick topic just to see how bad everyone's first time was. I'd be surprised if everything went to plan for >50% of guys here!

PS. amusing anecdotes should be shared!

it was so awkward. i was flapping around like a fish lol. she kept telling me to go harder but my snails pace was the fastest i could muster =/. so embarrassing

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At the end of the day you need to ask yourself, am I a sheep or a wolf?

My first time was over in about 10 minutes flat. Luckily I'm a master at foreplay so all I really had to do was "finish her up" at that point which I think I did. Who knows. She was a certified ho ho and I was a 16 year old virgin.

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LOL fun stuff. Looking back I think I lost my v-card at a very inopportune time. My parents house had flooded. So our insurance company put us up in this five star penthouse while they fixed the water damage. Well after going out with my girlfriend one night we started making out in the parking garage. She drove a two door Saturn. Tiny car! So as we awkwardly tried to fuck in the passenger seat while trying to not get caught... lets just say I couldn't get off, she was nervous too and neither of us had any lube.

Haha good times.

Gotta say; I'm surprised by the number of guys for whom everything worked out well. Not enough people yet for a real statistical sample though but...

She bled. I told her to get the fuck off my bed, and now I still have my V-Card.

It was awkward...

So I said "this is my penis. This goes into your vagina."
Got a couple laughs and went so so.

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Lol, absolute fuck*ng gold!
I love the frame this is setting... real dominant , like a schoolteacher talking to a pupil...

She came, twice. Worked out well as I knew what I was doing with foreplay, as did she so we were both worked up.
As for "technique" - well, it was my first time so I went with the approach of keep doing what I was doing if she was into it It didn't last forever, but we both had a great time
I am happy to admit I was shitting bricks before hand though

I'm not going to lie, one of us cried - haha

i flexed

Not sure which answer to chose a couple of them fit. I gave her at least one orgasm first. I'd had my hand down her pants for about three days straight and I'd been reading a how to book kept in my dad's nightstand. I was 15 she and her aunt (both 14) were hanging out with me and a friend in his room making out. My friend was obviously getting laid under the covers on the other bed. Shortly after making penetration (maybe 5-15 seconds) she pushed me away and said she had to go to the bathroom. She didn't come back for over a half hour, I peeked out of the bedroom and she was chatting with my friend's mom. She gave me oral the next day for the first time, I started dating someone else that evening. A few years latter I was having anal for the first time and I thought to myself "I think I felt this once before when I was 15!" I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure I put it in the wrong hole that first time. LOL

LOL, 23% think they gave a woman a real orgasm in their first time. You guys are full of shit

Couldn't get it up. She thought I had wishkey d*ck...I don't drink

It was my birthday and my girlfriend and I went to my parents' condominium on the lake alone for the day. It was early in the morning when we got there and she had the entire day planned to basically be a total fuckfest since she knew I was a virgin. She apparently wanted to just fuck all day.

We got into bed and started making out. We must have had 2 hours of foreplay before our clothes were completely off. I was rock hard the entire time, and wanted nothing more than to absolutely destroy her. Virgin or not, I was prepared to give her the railing of a lifetime.

"Fuck me", she ordered.

Then I felt a shrinking down below. It was gone. My dick literally became inverted. It was inside-out.

She patiently tried to get me back up to speed, but nothing worked. We eventually put our clothes back on and watched a movie, got something to eat, and after a few hours we went back to the bedroom to try again. But this time, I wasn't going to lose. I was rock solid once again and this time nothing was going to stop me.

"There we go!" she exclaimed happily. "Where's the condom?"

I fumbled around and eventually found the damn thing. I tore open the package and began studying the condom. You know, I really should have tried to figure out how these things work before I got the girl into bed with me. I just kind of thrusted it onto my dick and it wouldn't unravel. I didn't know you had to unravel it, I thought it just kind of fit on like one of those rubber gloves doctors use for examinations.

After nearly ripping the skin off the top of my dick from all the friction, I finally figured out how to get it on. But the awkward feeling of a rubber deathgrip squeezing my dick was too much to handle and I went soft again. How fucking frustrating.

Eventually, I got it up again and we were set. We started having sex. I was on the bottom and she started working her magic on top. I glanced at the clock and it was 4:16pm, I still remember the time distinctly.

She started doing all kinds of crazy movements with her hips and I was having a great time. She kept going and going. And going. And...going...on and on and on. Oh, perfect, now I can't orgasm.

I looked at the clock and it was now 4:53pm or so. "Are you almost done?" she asked tiredly. "Yeah, almost!" I squeaked like a bitch.

"Oh. Oh. Oh ho ho. Hooo. Wow. Ok, I'm done." Yes, I was forced to fake an orgasm. Incredible.

The time after, I came in about a minute. What the hell?