To become confidence, you have nothing to add, only remove fears and doubts.

"I have to bang 10 girls in order to get confident" Wrong

"I'm scared of hot girls, so I confront them" Good

"yeah dude, im so confident now since I fucked all those girls"

"if someone can do it, I have a good shot aswell"

Ego is result-dependent and affected by external factors, confidence doesn't have to be.

It's the difference between 'situation confidence' and 'core confidence' which ties into trying to get 'in state'

Situational: a college professor is the alpha in his classroom, but not in a club
a dj is alpha in his club, but not necessarily in his bio-chem class

Core: confident in every situation/environment instead of location (or whatever external factor) dependent.

I find a lot of people use their state as an excuse.

Once you have all aspects of your life down, and you're enjoying every minute of it, confidence is simply a byproduct.

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Very important post this one!

Most of us need to learn the difference between an inflated Ego and confidence.

I guess a big ego is what you have before it becomes true confidence. When you still have to challenge everybody in order to keep it up.


Ezo

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Just think of it this way - Ego is who you ARE at your core. Your ego is your superiority or feeling of internal pride. Confidence is how you COMMUNICATE your ego to other people. They are not mutually exclusive. While they are related they are different elements of your personality.

I'm talking about the Tolle version of Ego.

Nope. Ego and confidence are separeted.

A big ego=Identification with external factors. Take those factors away and your ego feels so hurt it might even get you to commit suicide. rich dude loses alot of money->his idenitity is gone->commits suicide.

Confidence is based on internal factors. You can't take those factors away.
Starting from your childhood you are confident, you dare doing things you never done before. Then it goes wrong at one point and your confidence get clouded with a bunch of shit insecurities "It went wrong that time, what could happen next".

BECAUSE you develop confidence by facing your fears and doubt you MUST go out. It is easier than spending 5 months reading through inner game shit while feeling awkward.

Go out one night, face your biggest fear and I promise you. You'll feel like a god.

Jav, awesome post. I find it funny though when someone gains confidence(internal factors), that they also gain an ego(external factors, like social proof). Then, they find themselves relying more on their ego than their confidence. And when they lose one or more of those external factors that they gained, it's ground zero again. I've been victim of this before :/

I've only been approaching the hottest girls I see at bars this passed weekend. (definitely a few 9 or 9.5 IMO)

Why am I doing this? I could continue approaching the 6 thru 8's (fuckable, but not dropdead model hot)... but that reward just doesnt feel the same. I view that the primary part of approaching is just to find your magic number (approach X girls before you find your lay) and i'd rather do it with girls that would give me the most satisfaction.

Beautiful girls make me feel good..really good, and I feel as though this is tied into my ego as well as confidence, since "i'm approaching only the hottest girls to gain reference experiences with THOSE kind of girls, aka confidence"

Or perhaps this is really just to improve my confidence, and less about ego since just being *around* these gorgeous girls makes me tickle inside.

If I am scared to talk to a girl you guys think I should just talk to her?

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Walk Hard

Going for external factors such as beauty=excentric motivation=ego-based.


@magnum

You should talk to a girl if you're scared of doing that and you're willing to improve on that area, which I guess you are otherwise you wouldn't be here.

How long does it take for "not now" to turn into "never"?

Edit: here-vp335464.html#335464


Check out part 2