STOP Negging the Hell Out of Women!

Before I start on this rant let's look at what a Neg is defined as by the guy that pretty much invented the term, and uses it regularly.

Neg: Verb, noun: a statement or action made to briefly and without insult disqualify oneself from being perceived as a potential suitor. - Usage: to neg someone, to be negged, to throw negs, to master negging. The Mystery Method Copyright © 2007 St. Martins Press.

Neg: Any gambit that, without insult, disqualifies oneself as a potential suitor. - Mystery Revelation Copyright © 2008

The definition has not changed much in the past year at all. As you can tell a neg is basically a form of false disqualifier that prevents you from being seen as a potential suitor. This way we can come in under the her protection shield (aka bitch shield). When reading the Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women into bed when under Neg Theory section you will read something that will say....

"A 10 may get three negs up front in quick succession just for being beautiful, while an 8 gets only one or two." ~ The Mystery Method Copyright © 2007 St. Martins Press.

Let me ask a question...Why the hell are some of you going out there and throwing out tons of negs to these women???? I see field report and post after post that says throw a neg. Hell in some cases a guys is in comfort with a girl and is throwing out a neg. I've personally witness new guys in clubs I go to throwing like 5-10 negs. WTF?!? This is not what you need to be doing at this point. Negging is primarily designed for A2 during the FIRST 5-10 MINUTES of interaction. This is not the only form of false disqualifier that is available to you.

The other thing on this thought is some of you guys so called "negs" are just down right insulting. Keep in mind the definition when making these up. We're just trying to lower her social value a bit not piss her off. When a guy emails me and says, "I have a new neg, what do you think?" I'm placing my head in my hands waiting for them to spit it out.

My first thought was after years of rejection by women, we get some game and we are in control...Insert Evil Laugh...HAHAHAHA. Now we can make them feel like we did so what do we do, we over neg them. Is that the way to get women attracted to us?

SURVEY SAYS: F*$# NO

Basically, when reading a lot of these field reports and posts I see where the girls plays a little hard to get and immediately a lot of you guys are suggesting to each other to neg. As a guy who helps teach this stuff I see lots of students that over neg at first. It's a common mistake. I'm sure other instructors can back me on this as well.

PLEASE STOP NEGGING SO MUCH!

In my in field experience active disinterest is usually enough in most cases. In some cases in the case of a true 10 or true 9 you might have to neg once or twice lightly to disqualify yourself. However, most women that have the bodies of 8, 9, or 10s don't have the mental frame to stand up to my two best negs without getting mad. This is why false disqualifiers "Too bad I'm gay or you'd so be my type..." or "I'm totally not boyfriend material..."as an example is a better way to go. You can accomplish this using disinterested body language as well. There are lots of tools at your disposal.

To conclude this little post. Overnegging is something pretty common amongst you guys on the forum. I write this in order to open your eyes to your mistakes. Some women will put up with this while others you'll blow out and kill your attraction. If you do this please stop and find other tools to use. If you don't then I applaud you for not falling in this trap.

Feel free to start WWIII below.

JON

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Wow, ive just noticed your nose wiggles when you type

"Neither compliment nor insult, a neg is something in between-an accidental insult of backhanded compliment."-The Game, Neil Strauss.

Cinnamon

I neg girls a lot, and it works for me.

Why? Cause I love neg-warfare. I neg, she negs back. I dont use it all the time, I dont think it is a "routine", so I dont use it on every set: I declare a neg war only when appropiate. Negs are not insults, If you and your target are having fun you are doing it right. I agree with JSmooth, If a girl's bitch shield pops out, the best answer might not be a neg.

When you use a neg you gotta have a matching personality, I neg a lot cause I've got a lot of Chutzpah and I'm proud of it. So I'm congruent with negging a lot, and most importantly: I'm used to it. I know when a girl can be negged, and I know HOW to do it.

About overnegging; Maybe the guys neg way too much are just showing low self steem (just like guys that overuse cocky funny, but thats material for another thread). If women treat you badly (or used to), thats no reason to be mean to them. We are, or at least I'm here, to have fun, insulting girls is not funny (at least for the girls )

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"[Cool is] a heavily manipulative corporate ethos. ”
Kalle Lasn

"Motherfuckers best belive in....That you are fucking with the best" - 3oh!3

Teasing is a battle plan for what Shakespeare called “the merry war.”

Great post J!

You have been on a lot of rants lately

Anyway, I think it is important to distinguish between negs and teasing or light banter. There is a difference and I'm willing to bet that you are doing the latter Mr. Amador.

Right on J. I'm glad you posted this definition. False self-deprecating lines like the examples you gave are more along the lines of what I prefer to use, but it's funny that I never really thought of them as effective "neg substitutes". Insulting or even half-insulting women is something I've never really felt at ease doing, and as I've been looking to improve my game, it would be nice to know that I may not to rely on negs as much as I was starting to believe.

word word word.

negging is bullshit.

FLIRTING is gold. And if you don't know the difference, watch ANY Shakespeare romantic comedy. Hell, watch any romantic comedy. The whole idea is to communicate you want her with your looks and your actions, but communicate you don't with your words.

And if she does the same thing back, now you've got sparks, kid. It's not a ploy to make her think you're cool. It's foreplay. Enjoy it.

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Sean Messenger
http://LVo3.com

"War is not the answer. Love is."

Before I get bombarded with abuse this DOES NOT apply to everybody using this forum and it is down to you whether you see yourself as one of these people or not.

The way that I see it, a lot of these people who just "neg" "neg" "neg" are feeling insecure. Face it, the majority of people within this community don't join because they are already socially dominant people and great with the opposite sex. The majority of these people are stepping out of their comfort zones for the first time in their lives and feel that everybody has their eyes on them. Attempting to ensure that everybody else feels inferior to them is like their own panic button.

While over "negging" or just outright treating people like shit isn't acceptable, I do view it as understandable.

What about girls you're not trying to pick-up? I just insult the hell out of them!
Maybe not that extreme, but I swear I've got some major IOIs from a co-worker chick I know's got a bf (I've met him, and a homewrecker I ain't) so I don't really care what she thinks of me. One time we were in a bar and it was my round and she wanted a lemonade, so I got her a vodka & lemonade, and when she called me up on it I went into a pretend-serious rant (I'm not sure she knew I was joking) about how "you kids today [she's older than me!] you're so ungrateful... in my day we had to fight for everything" etc and she was like "ok... you're scaring me". But then on the dancefloor I was getting big eye contact from her. And at the office I'm always like (playfully though) "what are you still doing here?" and "why the hell are you employed again?" when I'm by her desk, but when she walks near mine I always get a smile and a wave.
Or maybe the above is me just me being C&F without realising. Hmmm.

Well anyway, my point is, er, ok I didn't really have one.
As you were...

oooh it seems like I might have struck a community nerve with this one. I am glad that you all can identify with it.

You are right Bonita I have been on a few community related rants here and there. At first this stuff is like crack and you don't care what you swallow so long as you get your next high! ~ "That's what she said!"

I love having fun with stuff I say.

Anyways, I am glad that you agree Sean.
That is completely true. There are some many ways to communicate this stuff without words.
I am glad that we have opened your eyes to some substitutes. I never felt really at ease doing it either, and it is my guess most of the people here who started out felt a similar way.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

First off, I bow... Did you see it?

Great! I think that this is something everybody here needed to hear (including me)! Green PUAs rely too much on negs because this was the thing that made the biggest difference for them as they started to understand the game. But, the neg is a tool, it is a way of falsely disqualifying yourself if you can not do that in any other way. Read that sentence again, in any other way!

If you come in to a set with a higher or equal value to the target you do not need to neg.
This is something that will change as you progress in the PU arts. You will feel more confident because of your past successes and not like a loser because of your past rejections. You do not care if this set does not open immediately because there is another one just behind it. It does not matter. This is the signal you want to send out! That is what gives a woman the space she needs to even consider you.

I only neg if the girl is making trouble for me or if I can see that she is wondering if I am hitting on her. Otherwise, I use cocky funny.

Observe how I used the term neg in the above text in the context of "a neg is to tell the girl that she is a terrible person".

If we want to use the neg as it should be (as Jsmooth wrote in his post)... A neg is simply to not be needy and we should all do that!Ezo

Ezo,

This is why I like you man, because you get me. As Ezo said there are other ways of being non-needy as I've been saying. Your mental frame alone can be good enough in some cases that you don't need to neg.

Thanks for the backing bro!

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

good rant Jsmooth i wouldnt call it a rant but an Eye opener something that needs to be addressed. I myself dont like neggin only if i need to. If you come in with a good frame and a great opener and approch sometimes you dont even have to use a Neg. Over neggin is just blantly called unsecurity. You cant find another way to avoid it so you NEG and NEG,Why neg the girl so much?.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

I agree, im still in college and i know that most of the girls have low self esteem. I therefore hardly neg girls in college and if i do they are very soft, light-hearted negs.

i have a question for you, is it true that if you actually spin the world backwards that you'll go back in time?

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"Crushing requires a crushing mood" Miyamoto Musashi