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Situation I couldn't figure out.
 
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gabberdude
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Joined: 01 Aug 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 2:08 pm    Post subject: Situation I couldn't figure out. Reply with quote

Ok, so here's this situation that i REALLY can't figure out by myself. Hope any of you guys can help me out on finding out wtf went wrong. lol


There's this 8.5, maybe close to a 9 girl, she's a bit younger than me, I'm 24 and she's 19. I have a good job, was never a shy person and my communication skills are good. I'm not exactly handsome, but I take good care of myself, so that isn't a problem. I went through the unclinging, unneeding, cocky and funny and "let's be friends" routine pretty well, as I might say. The last 2 weeks she was asking me out, insistently, and I was doing the "playing hard to get" thing. Also, everyone was like "dude, she's all over you, what are you waiting for?" Ok, last friday I decided to finally go out with her, as she invited me to go to a rave. When I got there, I sent her an SMS telling her to go out of the party to meet me. She, in fact, did it (in less than 5 minutes) and we got into the rave: me, my Wingman (also one of my best friends), her and a girl friend of hers.


Once in there I was handling the situation pretty well, she bought me a couple of drinks of my preference and even when I asked "where are your friends?" she answered with "nah, it's just 4 or 5 boys that we got a ride from". Needless to say that she was kinda chasing me around at the rave, so much that I in fact asked "are you following me?" for what she replied a some sort of "I thought you hadn't noticed", enthusiatic "I am!", followed by giggles. Then I called her to go outside of the rave tent (it was a psytrance rave, they seem to LOVE tents) and started caressing her hair while chatting. She seemed to enjoy that A LOT. I even slithgly pulled her hair right above her neck, on the back and asked "enjoying that?" and she was like melting down "yessss...". Then, OF COURSE, I tried to engage on kissing her. Now, imagine my surprise when she backed up and said "I thought we were only going to be friends!" Right after that, I said "Well, I'm not the one losing anything here...", and she replied with "Oh, now you're gonna leave me in doubt?" Then we stared at each other for a little while, I tried to kiss her AGAIN and AGAIN she backed up. Then I said "Ok, then." and walked off as nothing had happened. Then I went around meeting new girls with my wing. The thing is, even after we "dismissed" them both - my wing didn't like her friend much - they kept on following us, dancing near us and even when we went to sit and chill a bit with 2 other girls, they sat with us and started talking.

On monday she sent me an SMS asking how the rest of my weekend was and I just replied "it was quite surprising, I'll tell you more on that later".

Since then I didn't contact her again. (btw, today is wednesday)

So, guys... WTF went wrong? Help me out on this one, cuz I'm kinda clueless.

And thanks in advance! Wink
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Music28
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Joined: 02 Jul 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2007 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

if you try and kiss a girl once, and she denies you..... don't try again. Build more attraction, do some cat and string theory, and wait for her to make the move.

This happened to me this past weekend. 1st 'date' with a girl, escalated with some light kino, she had kissed me on the cheek, then i went in for the kill and she denied me. It's obvious that she WANTED to kiss me, but didn't want to give in too soon.

What did i do? I went to my bedroom (the K close attempt was in the kitchen) while she made a phone call, and just played some guitar. Waited for her there. VERY important, though: i didn't 'sulk' or become awkward or anything, i made it very clear that i was still having fun even without her.

She came up, and i basically just gave her a bunch of IODs to bring her back down. Later on, she kissed me on the lips after a bunch more escalating.

Point is... make her realize that YOU are the prize, and that you can have fun even without kissing her.

If you try twice, she thinks she's got you wrapped around her finger.

Also - i think you may have tried a bit TOO hard to get, from all those negs. you don't want her to associate YOU with her feeling BAD. There's a line.
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gabberdude
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Joined: 01 Aug 2007
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Location: Brazil
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TOO hard to get. Yeah, that makes sense.

I'll keep that in mind, thanks a lot man.
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VEE
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Joined: 20 Jul 2007
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Location: Released from the Matrix and into the real world
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dam what a bitch...she probably in experienced..or perhaps u tried to kiss her in front of her frens...
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smokedoutabear
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Joined: 27 Jul 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2007 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol that was a shit test wasnt it? She called you on your game and you backed down. "I thought we were going to be only friends" thats a classic response. I've personally heard that way too many times already. In situations like this you should stick to the friend routine and said something like "friends can kiss." By doing this you affirm that you are still in control by not backing down from the friend routine and that you are not dishonest or trying to trick her but at the same time you open up the idea that this isnt just a casual friendship. The answer you gave her was kind of cocky so you didnt appear needy but the fact that you tried more than once to kiss her was somewhat awkward. Good news for you though is that you should be fine. She let you play with her neck and didnt deny you thats a big IOI. Call her up if she brings up the kiss dont Apologize about it and ask her if she's never kissed a friend before? Then CF, ontinue to build attraction and turn her on more before you try to kiss her thats the beauty of kino.. use it!
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