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DTM
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 Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:12 am Post subject: shit tested by her friends? |
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i think i got shit tested by the friends of this chick i am dating. it starts off like this: she describes her friends every once in a while when we are on the phone, and as a playful neg i call them lame. To be honest, her friends really are lame, but when i tell her this i dont sound like i really mean it. Another thing, i am very bad with names, and i tell her before i even met her friends i will probably forget their names. ok so she told her friends all of this. Last night i met her and a bunch of her friends at a club. right off the bat, they say "ur gonna remeber my name, right?" and shit like that, testing me all the time. then while dancing, one of them says "so, do you still think Sally's (thats what i will call her for privacy) friends are lame?" and of course i reply "i dont know, your gonna have to prove it to me that youre not lame" with a smile. the friend didnt like me saying that, but before the night was over she totally liked me (she was qualifing her self all night). that night i also danced real dirty with this drunk chick. Now Sally was not near me at that time, so i assume she didnt see me. Even if she did, i didnt care because it would make her jealous. i think maybe her friends saw me dancing with that chick (i also opened up a few sets HB7-HB8). near the end of the night, she told me they were leaving, so i give her a hug and move in partially for the kiss. she tilted back like she didnt want to kiss me goodbye so i acted very cool and gave her body language to indicate 'hey its ur loss'.
about 30-45 minutes after she left, she sent me a text saying "Thanks 4 the dance babe. sorry i actually did want a good night kiss!"
ok fast forward a day, shes not calling me, so i decide to give her a call (i waited till 11pm). she is very quiet and i get her to tell me whats wrong. she says all the shit her friends have been talking about me, saying im not the guy she would typically date, or should date; that im cheap; that i call them lame; etc. so i replied "im just teasing you when i say your friends are lame, but i WILL call them lame if i think they are. i still dont know them yet, so i wont judge them before i know them like they judged me; but i WILL call them lame if i think they are" I also mentioned that a few of them turned out to be ok (like the one that was qualifing herself) We talked about it for a bit more, and in the end she tells me its ok and not to listen to them, BUT i have to like her friends if i want 'this' to work.
so was i shit tested by her jealous friends? what should i have done, and is there anything i should do from now on?
thanks...and keep in mind that so far, i dont really like this chick all that much, im just using her for a confidence boost and practice. it doesnt matter if i mess up, i will just learn from my mistakes |
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They Call Me Lucid
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Joined: 30 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:15 am Post subject: |
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| rule #1. befreind the friends. if you dont get the friends you dont get the girl. i think people can tend to over neg or use them inappropriately and it leads to people not liking them as in this case with the friends. making fun of her friends serves no purpose in picking up the girl. be super nice and friendly to these girls and when they like you, then you target will get the ok to fall for you. |
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mozyFresh
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Well your learning from your mistakes already buddy, if her friends dont like you there's a good chance she will come not to like you, she's gonna be telling her friends all about you at this point, cus thats what girls do, when they said this i would have just said laughed and said i was only joking with her saying you was lame, its gonna be hard to win them over now they have it in for you, it looks like your in comfort stage so its what you should be doing, a club aint the best place to build comfort. |
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saqchek
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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The problem with this scenario is that you could probably do everything in your power, and some "friends" are just going to talk shit anyways. They are jealous and single, and they want their partner to be single as well. Women are the worst cock blocking sons of bitches on the face of this earth. They are too competitive and will make a purpose to go out of their way to make sure their friend doesn't get a better guy than they do. I would refrain from calling them "lame" anymore. Just don't even mention that word with her friends anymore.
I think "Lame" was too strong of a word to use. It wasn't even a neg, it was basically an insult. Negs are back handed COMPLIMENTS. Instead of saying......"prove to me you aren't lame"..........say..."prove to me you are fun and not boring". (something along those lines) |
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DTM
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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ok good advice, i will see what i can do  |
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saqchek
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject: |
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| saqchek wrote: | | I think "Lame" was too strong of a word to use. It wasn't even a neg, it was basically an insult. Negs are back handed COMPLIMENTS. Instead of saying......"prove to me you aren't lame"..........say..."prove to me you are fun and not boring". (something along those lines) |
The bold part. I wouldn't say that either after I've come back and reread my own statement. Seems to me that it sounds like you are insinuating they are boring. modified: "So are you fun or boring? Ok, then prove to me you a fun person!" Be playful, use your imagination. |
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