Basically,

I asked out with a girl I have fancied for a long time. She didn't believe it at first, and said it was too good to be true, because she had found me attractive before.
We went out a couple of times.. and seemed to get along.

Later on... another guy began hitting on her... and she was faced with a decision.
She found him to be a typical guy, so a relationship with him would be something she's familiar with... without any unpredictability.
On the other hand, she said she'd never met anyone like me and a relationship with me would be uncharted. However, she told me that I was everything she had wished for and it scared her.

Eventually she chose the either guy. Perhaps because it was the easier choice... with no risk or challenges.

She will be with him at a party that I will also be attending... I want her back
How do I do this? Make her jealous? Should I get her away from him? PLEASE ADVISE!!!

Spore, women don't just "downgrade". She was probably letting you off politely.

The worst thing you can do is get jealous. Jealousy makes you do the stupidest things to get approval from women, doesn't it?

Here's a little checklist of things you need to do (if you haven't already):

- Don't resent the guy she's dating, for starters. It's AFC, and unattractive.

- Don't say things that will come off as jealous or bitter about your relationship.

- Have fun without her. Don't let her think that your happiness rides on whether or not she likes you. You were happy before her and you'll be happy after her.

- Talk to other women. You seem pretty close to having oneitus for this chick. If all you own is 5 dollars and you lose a dollar, that's a pretty big loss. If a billionaire loses a dollar, it means very little to them. That same mindset is exactly why meeting more women will lead to less impact when one of them simply doesn't realize what she's passing up. There's billions of others just like her. I know what you're thinking: "But there's not, Roy! This one is special". Trust me there is. Women, while being beautiful and amazing beings, are not unique little snowflakes. There's a billion more JUST like her.

- I'm guessing your goal is to make her regret dumping you. You can't do that by wanting her back. You have to do it when she realizes, through your actions, she just let the coolest guy she'll ever meet go. In reality, yes it's through jealousy, but I guarentee you, you'll be less inclined to date her when you welcome more women into your life.

That's all for now. Good luck, Spore.

Roy Hobbs

Thanks for the advise Roy,

I understand that they don't "downgrade", but could she have just been looking for a simple relationship, void of surprises/unpredictability? Hence, choosing the more 'typical' guy?

I'll admit, you got me. There is a sense of jealousy... which definitely isn't good, but for me it's more about curiousity? Of what it would be like to be with her for longer.

Hence, even if my goal is to make her regret dumping me... it's only so that she would come back to me upon feeling this regret.

You said "You have to do it when she realizes, through your actions, she just let the coolest guy she'll ever meet go." What kinds of actions should these be, how do I go about making her jealous.

I mentioned that she and the guy she's dating will both be attending a party that I will also be at... What are some things I could do on the night to make her realize "she just let the coolest guy she'll ever meet go"? BF Destroyers? Having fun with other girls in front of her?

No. Women don't actively seek ways to make their lives boring. If this is what she told you, she was being nice and didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Have you heard the expression, "the best revenge is living well"? It's like that. Think about women who wanted nothing to do with Brad Pitt in high school. How do you think they feel about him now? They want that oppurtunity back. Make her look at you and say, "shit, I could have dated him". Improve your avatar (a better avatar is the best way to show a change, since it's in the physical form), be seen with hotter women than her, and generally act cooler than her.
Don't go to the party to make her jealous. Go there to have fun. Have fun with other women. In front of her or not, it doesn't matter. So long as YOU'RE having fun, that's all that matters. Don't give her special attention. It's all about you.

When you talk to her from now on, just don't play the "I wish we were together" card. Do the opposite. Tease her. Be playful, with a "yeah, you'll never get me again" attitude.

One thing I can not stress enough, Spore: MEET MORE WOMEN. I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't think it'd help you. Get her out of your mind for a while. You'll thank yourself. I'm not going to tell you to forget about her. That's up to you. All I'll say is this: in my experience with jealousy, the women I would get jealous about, I'd end up having no feelings for a few months later.

You'll move on eventually, Spore. Whether she's smart enough to come along for the ride is really her decision at this point. You're in a position where you've already established a value with her, which she apparently thinks she's upgraded on by dating some other guy. Your new value is not something you are going to change her mind about immediately. It'll probably take some time, and unfortunately for her, by the time she realizes it, you'll need a pussy umbrella for chicks much hotter than her. And that's exactly the swagger you should roll with.

Work on your inner game, Spore. It'll bleed through into everything you do.

Roy Hobbs

Thanks again Roy,

one last question... sorry for being this clueless...
How do I establish this attitude, if you could give me alittle more detailed instruction. What are the kinds of things i should say to "tease her" and "be playful"? Could you give examples? Maybe a set piece or two?

Thanks a million for all this!

I'm not going to feed you lines or anything. Put yourself in a mindset that finds enjoyment out of watching women prove themselves to you. There's plenty of articles around that can help your game. You're not going to learn everything there is in this thread. I don't have the time, to be honost. Search around the forums for some good articles on push/pull, kino, body language, etc.

Teasing her is mearly one way of withdrawing validation from her and makes her want your approval, and when you give approval, she loves it; then take it away by teasing her again. It's called push/pull. I'm sure there's posts on these forums explaining it in great detail.

An example of teasing (push) would be:

HB: You got a new phone? What kind.
Roy Hobbs: The kind that can block you. *playfully pushes her away from me*

---

Ultimately, you have to stop putting this chick on a pedestal. By doing that, she has higher value than you. Go have fun. The best way to cure oneitus is to meet more people.

Roy Hobbs