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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:44 am 
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I was sarging today at a mall, and opened a bunch of women. a few just ignored me, some answered my question and moved on, and some interactions went well. After I was at the mall for a few hours, the last woman I opened, a security gaurd walked passed and eavsdropped on me opening this woman. After I felt that she wasn't interested, I didn't press it and said thanks goodby. Then the security gaurd asked her "is this man bothering you?" I said to the gaurd, What are you talking about am I bothering her. She can tell me herslf if I'm bothering her. The Security gaurd told me they had complaints that I was approching random women, and that they had a complaint that I was intimidating someone.

I was pissed! I simply end the interactactions when a woman obviously doesn't want to talk, and if they ignore me, I say that's cool, don't worry about it. I mean maybe I wasn't as upbeat and friendly, smiling attitude as I should be... but I'm INTIMIDATING WOMEN?!?! WTF? I can't imagine what I did that would have warrented a complaint to security.

So anyway, the gaurd said I have to leave for the day, so I left the mall, and looked for my car. He followed me outside and said, "I thought I told you to leave?" I said, I left and am looking for my car.. Then he started to follow me to my car and said he's gonna make sure I leave, so I said, OK you know what. I'm taking the bus, because I didn't want him taking down my license plate and calling the cops for some bullshit reason that I'm harrasing women.

Has anyone else had something like this happen? Were my approches really that bad? I had some decent interactions. I don't want this to bring me down and give me a reason and a new fear to not approch women.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:59 am 
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calibration

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:36 am 
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Ok, I'll look into calibration, but I'm basically a noob, I was just approaching. I'm 6'6" maybe she found me intimidating because of my hight.

I just say. "Hey, let me ask you something quick. My best friends wedding is next weekend and I found out he's cheating on his fiancee, I'm thinking about telling her."
I prefer to approach in a way that seems compleatly by chance, natural... like, oh, you're just some random person in my path who I can ask. But I feel like that sort of approach has no balls. So I was doing gutsier approaches. It's obvious it's a pickup attempt in that case, if you cut across the hall, and talk to a hot chick. and ask her an indirect question.

I said nothing offensive to any woman, no harsh tone, and I took rejection with stride. This is such bullshit! I can't believe approaching random women is worthy of any type of complaint to security. Tell me to FUCK OFF if you need too, and I'll say no problem have a good day... but to run to a fucking rentacop because I'm striking up a convo with a random. What kind of bitch?! I can't believe it!

I've overcome major hurdles with women, it's been really difficult, and I've come a long way. I don't need this screwed up, I don't need to develop any new fear of approaching because someone thinks that guys approaching and talking to random women is creepy.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:42 am 
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that's a horrible opener.

read, study, practice (alone, lol)

before going back out there.

you'll get better

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:14 am 
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I've gotten some amazing results from that opener. Obviously a lot of women could tell it was a bull story, but I found that their response to my opener and story, has more to do with my delivery of it and my overall attitude during the approach. If I approach with fun and friendly, entertaining attitude. That opener has been magic and has stirred major emotion and excitment is some of them. Even some women who let me know that my story was a lie, still gave me their number and said I blew their mind by my approach.

I do have problems bailling a set with attractive women when it's going well and she's into it, because I start to get nervous.

I love when I hit that point when I'm sarging when I don't want to stop, and the fear is comleatly lost. I can just approach the hottest women without hesitation and know I have it in me to entertain this woman, my confidence is explosive! and I don't even care if she's not interested and the approach is a bust. I use to get to that point almost every day. Then some bad shit happened and I had to stop sarging for 2 or 3 months.

I do rely too much on that opener though, it's the only one I ever use.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:18 am 
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doesn't sound natural to me. I'd never ask a girl I didn't know that kind of question.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:32 am 
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Quote:
I was pissed! I simply end the interactactions when a woman obviously doesn't want to talk, and if they ignore me, I say that's cool, don't worry about it. I mean maybe I wasn't as upbeat and friendly, smiling attitude as I should be... but I'm INTIMIDATING WOMEN?!?! WTF? I can't imagine what I did that would have warrented a complaint to security.
Have you thought it was HOW you where approaching these girls? You said your 6'6", I don't know how old you are but you seem young as you yet to really pick up how just your height alone can make girls feel. Yes girls like tall guys but when you are your height you can't approach like shorter guys. Take my word for it as I am your height.

When you approach girls, come in with a smile or at least a friendly face with a relax body. This way you seem less threatening. Also approaching them from the front so they see you come well help. When you do open keep things light and fluffy. I know that may seem dumb, but keep in mind a 6'6" giant just approach them and they are most likely 5'5" they are going to be some what on the defense as your way bigger than them and they don't know you.

Quote:
So anyway, the gaurd said I have to leave for the day, so I left the mall, and looked for my car. He followed me outside and said, "I thought I told you to leave?" I said, I left and am looking for my car.. Then he started to follow me to my car and said he's gonna make sure I leave, so I said, OK you know what. I'm taking the bus, because I didn't want him taking down my license plate and calling the cops for some bullshit reason that I'm harrasing women.
Sounds like a over zealous security guard. But even they did call the cops they won't do anything as you had no bad intention. You can just tell the cops you where trying to pick up girls and you are new to it and obviously you need to practice more.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:45 am 
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Ok, I'll look into calibration, but I'm basically a noob, I was just approaching. I'm 6'6" maybe she found me intimidating because of my hight.
A lot of girls are going to be at least slightly intimidated or unease because of your height. It is something that is going to effect or game and you need to adjust to it. As I mention in my other reply to you, I am your height and when I do approach girls I do it in the most non threatening manner possible. Look at it from a girl's stand point. On average they are going to be 5'5". You are almost two feet taller than they are and male. Don't you think they be at least a tad imitated?
Quote:
I just say. "Hey, let me ask you something quick. My best friends wedding is next weekend and I found out he's cheating on his fiancee, I'm thinking about telling her."
I prefer to approach in a way that seems compleatly by chance, natural... like, oh, you're just some random person in my path who I can ask. But I feel like that sort of approach has no balls. So I was doing gutsier approaches. It's obvious it's a pickup attempt in that case, if you cut across the hall, and talk to a hot chick. and ask her an indirect question.
As Mack said its a crappy opener. I would say go direct but that may do more than good here. You be better off asking a random opinion question, like;

"What color do you like more banana's or apples?"

The banana's or apple part is for humor. As you need to keep things light due to your height until the girl doesn't see you as a threat. It generally takes a good minute to 5 minutes for a girl to at least not see you as a threat.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:22 am 
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K, thanks Jurupa. I agree, I don't think a shorter guy would necicarily had to deal with having security called on him for approching a woman in a non threatening tone like I was doing.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:03 pm 
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don't worry about the mall security. There a joke. High school drop outs. All they can do is report you too cops. And talking to women is no crime so you have not done nothing wrong.

I use go to the mall and skate when I was little. They would try to take my board away. I would just laugh and skate away from there before the cops got there. They can't physically assault you.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:21 pm 
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Do you dress like a D-bag Jersey Shore guy that could be your problem too...lol
It sounds like this happened to you, CHECK the video at the 5:00 min mark

http://youtu.be/QcifNBl7qww


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:42 pm 
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I personally wouldn't worry about this but you seem to be flustered over the experience. It's obvious that some girl who watches a lot of Crimial Minds or Americas Most Wanted was thinking of the worst. Maybe she watched you from a distance as you opened another girl.

Either way, to look less creepy and to keep the mood less serious, maybe open older women, dudes, working staff so you don't look like some creep who is just trying to get laid. It's amazing how less creepy you'll look if you're talking to a random old couple or whoever you don't want to sleep with.

btw - only dumb broads will fall for your opener. The key for me is to situationally open. It doesn't look premeditated and she drops her guard quick. It's definitely a little harder as you have to think on your feet but with some practice, it starts becoming natural.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:48 pm 
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1. SMILE when you open

2. STOP making up excuses to talk to women and just be HONEST about why you're approaching them (i.e. because you find them attractive and you want to meet them

3. BEFRIEND any obstacles that might stand in your way - e.g. bouncers, toilet attendants, managers etc. at clubs, security at malls, managers and baristas at coffeeshops, and so on.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 5:32 pm 
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Truthfully i read this because of the title, I mean how can you pass that up? XD
Anyways I have huge doubts he actually got complaints, A. They don't usually confront people about it unless its a emergency, and B. Vendors at the mall ask everyone who passes by "wanna try a sample of this?" so they are harassing more than you. Most likely the guard picked you out for a bad day relief - while it isn't a good idea to yell directly at the guard a simple "can I speak to your manager about this?" is a perfectly legal thing to do and will get him off your back (and don't let him say you can't see him, you can always talk to a manager). First ask the manager if this is a real complaint, and if he says yes just say sorry and you wouln't do it again (you probly will, just be sneakier) if he says no tell him the guard was harassing you then (if you wanna be a huge dick file a complaint against him, but that takes a bit of time to do)

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 7:05 pm 
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don't worry man, Security guards can be dicks,

step 1) ask him why he is harassing you
step 2)when he denies that he is harassing you, ask him what you have done?, after he gives you the bullshit answer ''we got some random complaint that i will not explain'' challenge him and say, this is defamation, please bring this person forth that has filed this complaint, as I would also like to file a complaint
step 3) if he refuses ask to speak to his manager and make a complaint about him harassing you, after that explain that it is not illegal to ask people questions, and it was not your intent to disturb or upset, and you were not soliciting anything, but you feel disturbed and upset by security for slandering your name

from now on so you seem less creepy, just tell the girls you came to talk to them cause they are hot (or w/e word you want to use that fits your personality just be honest), it will make you seem less creepy, indirect will only get girls thinking wtf why is this guy talking to me?, it is more for bars/social settings

GOOD LUCK, fuck with those that fuck with you!! it is fun :D


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