Hi all

I was friendzoned by a chick in march and i responded with a complete freeze out - along with a msg saying why i can't just "be friends"; Something similar Jim Jefferies responces: "I don't agree to that, friends don't put each other in boxes like that. All i can promise is that i won't do anything until we're both comfortable"and then i unfriend off facebook

I now know that she was just finished with a relationship at the time, and according to a mutual female friend of hers, probably wasn't ready for anything.

Now this mutual fmale friend has offered to be a pivot for me and she told me her new place of work, a food store. I had an epiphany! I need food! So i got a shopping list together and went to the shop not knowing if she was even on that night. I arrived and noticed her and started talking to the Security Guard who i also know, cracked a few jokes to make him laugh (DHV). I went and did my shopping, picking plenty of veg/fruit and healthy options and 1 packet of sweets.

I went to the check out and put on my best "suprised" face when we both saw each other. Started talking light heartedly and it was reciprocated nicely while i packed my bag. I opened the sweets and offered, which she accepted. We shite talked about work, college and places we're staying. I said i'd leave and not get her in trouble and asked if she wanted to hang sometime. Her responce was "Yea i'd like to but i'm really busy with work" I said cool and she asked if i still had her number. I checked and said i did and left after giving her another sweet (what? I'm a nice guy! )

I obviously don't want to fall in the same trap as last time and i don't have experiance or solutions to "re-open" (technically i already did this though) or to day2 this girl... I obviously have to initate but will i do this over fbook or text? I'm hoping to bring my pivot out and DHV and show pre-selection.

Any and all suggestions are appreciated, i don't want to fall in the zone again

well from what i see

1). you should of went food shopping with another female! that definatley would of DHV'D u big time.
2). when she asked u if u still had her number u shud of said no??
3) she says too busy with work...... if u were someone she is into she would of not told u that, r u ever to busy for sex? NO. are woman too tired/busy for Sex? HELL TO THE FUCKING NO
4) to me it seems like your stitll friends zone.. you acted like it when u saw her..

you can still save this BUT its gonna take alot of work because u known her for a long time... have u kino with her or escaleted b4?

It seems you are falling in the same friendzone again, and its not even her thats putting you there. For example this phrase right here: "what? I'm a nice guy!"
See what you did there? You even claim to be nice, the kind of guys the end up in the friendzone are "nice". And you qualify yourself to her, she should be the one qualifiying to you, especially after you freezed her, she needs to be the one reinstated in your life, not on the other way around.
You need to change your mindset, right now you are offering ZERO challenge to the girl.

Next time instead of a "what? I'm a nice guy!" try "what? I'm a jerk, but a lazy one to delete numbers..."

Lol dude.. you stalked this one chick that bad? That will land you in the friend zone in itself..

She said she was "busy" (not interested)

You went completely out of you way and im sure she was able to sense/feel the needy/stalker energy coming from you. You're best surprised face isn't going to work.. Now if you were honest and said " I heard from our friend 'name" you worked here and i needed some food so i came by" That would of setup a better stage for you.

You obviously aren't just going to move on, you've already invested yourself way too much. She just got out of a relationship and im sure she hasn't forgot you leaving her alone after being friendzoned

I'd suggest you let this one go, but you can try your luck

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

yooooo maybe its just me and i know this doesnt have anything to do with the OP but in his case when she says she was "too busy with work"

i started to call women out bullshit

should of the OP called her out by saying " too busy =not interested, but its alright! ill ttyl" ?

idk but ima start calling women on responses like "maybe" "too tired" and "too busy"

You can pretty much do anything that doesnt involve giving your power and your frame to the girl. I like to reframe in this cases, like the other day I was at the club and this girl was totally into me, so I wanted a drink and decided she by now totally deserved one aswell from my part I even made her buy me one on some other day, so its my turn.
Guess what, got a shit test, like "oh I dont really want to, I dont like alcohol blablablabla"
I just said to her: "damn never took you for a wimp, are you a wimp?"
just accepted to come with me, and told me she did really enjoyed the drink I ordered, it tasted really good.
I just shrugged my shoulders and nooded my head like "duh!"

Nullus

well see here in this case she was into you, you even say so yourself and thats a shit test, but im talking bout when she is not interested (sexually) into you like the OP, and she gives you a lame excusse like "too busy" etc..you know what im saying?

@ Juice Man
1 - Fair point, agreed
2 - I said i had to check and got her to say it out again, then i said i still had it
3 - I disagree, she said it in a way that she didn't jump on the oppertunity to said yes. It was a push pull answer from her (i think)
4 - no comment, i don't know how to "act"

Last march i got her over to my house by texting her "fancy coming over to mine for chicken and sex?". I made her dinner and got her to my bedroom but we just kissed

@ Nullus
I didn't say "what i'm a nice guy", it was in brackets and directed to you guys on the PUA forums

I know i need to offer challenge but i don't know how to re-open this set, have you got advice to that?

@Fuze
Yea it was a bit stalkery but i trust my pivot, if she told me to go, i'll go.

As i said in my inital post, i went to do shopping, didn't even know if she'd be there. I reject your conclusion that i gave off needy energy.

I actually did move on when it didn't know in march. I went off, did my own thing and got my first gf. Now that i'm out of that relationship i want to try this again. Do you have any suggestions on how i go ahead and get things rolling?

Just some additional info to add to the mix. Back in feb when we started texting (we meet September 10) she was the one to take my number and start the convo by saying... wait for it.... "Happy Valentines Day x" IOI much?

Straight from there it was flirty and i just went to cocky/funny mode and went with the flow

Also - shameless self bump

Back When? 10 months ago?? oo cool.. Thats cute

Then how'd u end up in the friend zone

_________________
Email me: EddieFews@WayOfThePlayer.com For 1 on 1 coaching or consultation via SPAM, phone or IM.

Now You Can Read My Articles Here! ------------> http://wayoftheplayer.com/category/play ... fews-tips/

As my pivot has told me she just got out of the relationship and i think it was a smile situation of to much to soon.

As i said everything was going fine, she came over to mine for dinner, i escalated to my room and k closed. She left for work and we planned to spend more time together 2 days later (spend the night). The next day when i text she got a distant and gave me the ljbf spiel. She qualified saying that she likes me and i'm a gentleman (i silently raged a little) and i walked away.

I've been having a look at the conversations you say happened between you, and I have a theory that you MIIIGHT not be in the friend zone just yet.

Depending on what her personality is, she might just not have been ready for something new, and backed off due to that, as your "I don't just want to be friends" thing didn't meet sudden and irrevocable communication break off.

Unfortunately, due to this, the stunt of zero communication could have both good and bad connotations.

Good, in that it may have avoided friend zoning, but bad, in that it may have led her to think you had a bruised ego and were just being a little bitch about it.

And fuze, i disagree. The way she phrased that "I'm too busy" line isn't like the usual way either (assuming you've transcribed it word for word) She didn't totally shoot you down, but it wasn't a yes either. She might be playing the same game with you, keeping you unsure so she's not giving up anything too easy.

If you play bit right, you might still have a shot. But if I'm right, it's going to be slow progress.

Play it by ear, bro. Wait for her to make the next move. Trust me. If she's still interested she will.

_________________
Sometimes, when I'm sad, is stop being sad, and instead be awesome. True story.

Hey I got your PM, and I'll be glad to drop my two cents in.

There were a few things you did wrong early when you got friendzoned. I liked the Jeffries line, but unfriending on facebook is such an immature way to go about it. She was definitely thinking, wow this guy is immature. Just wanted to let you know for future references.

Now depending on how good looking your pivot is, it will definitely DHV you in some way, and it will make her jealous.

When she asked you if you still had her number, that was a shittest believe it or not. She still remembers you deleting her off facebook. Now she was just testing if you deleted her number because you're immature. And you played it off well too, scrolling through your phone to 'check'.

Now remember that she said she was not ready for anything yet. Remember that.

Imagine a ladder, you're on the very first step. And you need to gradually advance yourself in her life one step at a time.

Invite her out with your friends/pivots, and have a good time. Develop your attraction. I recommend going out to places where you're established as attractive.
Go hang out at places where you know people will be working, or hanging out.

For instance I like to take girls to the mall and go window shopping. I know SOO many hot girls that work at all the different stores, that it shows I have high social value, and it even causes a little jealously. I also have a specific yogurt shop I take girls to because I can get it for free. Again, my high value.

Also take her to places where you can establish yourself as attractive.

I love going bowling, because I'm amazing at it (I bowl 220ish on average). Or I invite girls to my basketball games where I show off my skills.

When you spend time with her, gradually work your way up that ladder. It's not going to be a process that will be fixed in a week. Friendzones take time to fix. Start with light FRIENDLY kino. Get her in a playful mood, then start being more physical. Hold her hand, or go in for the kiss.

While you're doing all this, BE GAMING OTHER WOMEN. You need to get this one off your mind as well. You should have an abundance of girls who on any given weekend will go out with you. Girls want what they can't have, and this chick will be all over you if she can tell girls are after you.

To get the girl, you have to risk losing the girl.