HERE YOU ARE MY GUIDE TO THE SNL FOR ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
STEP 1) OPEN
tonight for your opener, you will be opening with, HEY CAN I ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION? what ever she says follow up with GOOD, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR CUTE,(if group set I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR ALL CUTE, if its mixed set, I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ALL FUCKING RULE), if they are ignoring you it means they think your ugly or they are in a bad mood, to force the open just keep repeating REAL QUICK, REAL QUICK QUESTION, REAL QUICK, the louder the better
STEP 2) GRAB ATTENTION
during this step you will begin your physical escalation, starting by touching peoples shoulders when you address them and giving handshakes and high fives, your goal of this step is *HAVE FUN*, ask people their names, say ridiculous things, be random, crack situational jokes, do not put a focus on anything special to say, or anything amazing to show them, you are just trying to talk more then everyone else and be loud, and touch shoulders/hands , that is the only goal of this phase, the phase has been completed when you have been asked 3 questions about yourself or that revolve around you,
(do not leave until, they tell you to, they become insulting or they leave themselves, or they won't talk to you at all, and playfully making fun of you is not insulting but use your own judgement)
STEP 3) BREAK REPORT
this step you are going to actively seek to break report with your target, tease her, neg her, make comments about her that can be taken as sexual
during this phase your compliance test will be putting your arm around target don't look at her look at her friends point to her as you neg/tease her, if you can't think of one, say, isn't she cute?, just like an adorable little sister!
you will know this phase is complete when you see the following,
target tries to touch you, targets starts laughing at things you do that are not that funny, target is seeking report with you (trying to start conversation), target is giving you compliments,
during this phase you can also tell dhv stories, but be careful with pre-selection as you want to set a frame of discretion (you don't talk about specific hookups with specific girls)
STEP 4)ISOLATE/QUALIFY TARGET
during this phase you are going to 1st try to get her alone, then you are going to ask a girl series of questions , followed by statements of interest, followed by statements of disinterest, often it is more stealthy and effective to lead in to these questions, but for AFC's i will try to keep it simple,
DO YOU LIKE SPORTS?
(if she says no, go back to step 3 and break report again)
OH WOW I LOVE GIRLS WHO LOVE SPORTS, ME AND YOU COULD GET MARRIED, NOT!!
(say not like borat)
NEXT talk about what her favorite sport is for a while and seem interested, keep complimenting her when the you get the chance, WOW THATS SO COOL YOU LOVE THAT, I NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU, etc.
next ask her,
IF YOU HAD A TOP SECRET SUPER POWER, WHAT SUPER POWER WOULD THAT BE AND WHY?
(she doesn't answer this by saying I DONNO, say IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE AMAZING
, if she still doesn't answer then BACK TO STEP 3 break report again)
when she answers find out the motivation behind the power, maybe OH WOW YOU MUST BE BRAVE FOR THAT, OR, YOU MUST BE AN ADVENTUROUS GIRL,
then continue with the statement of interest, statement of disinterest pattern,
3rd question to get to is, WHAT ARE SOME SPECIAL THINGS ABOUT YOU THAT WOULD MAKE ME WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER AS A PERSON?
(she doesn't answer you guessed it break report, if you had to break report, the next time instead of the same question, ask what does she have going on for her more then her looks that would make you want to get to know her, if you have to break report off that ask her, what kind things does she do that would make you want to get to know her better, keep following same pattern, she doesn't qualify break report)
she answers this question, reward her with a hug
, and a compliment, do not finish the compliment with a statement of disinterest,
the stock compliment here is, YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING PERSON, I CANT BELIEVE I MET YOU AT A BAR/CLUB,
so if you read that the kino compliance test for this step is a hug
STEP 5) SHUT UP
after you give her a hug, sit there, shut your mouth, wait for her to talk, as soon as she talks, you say SHHHHH (inturupt her) WOULD YOU LIKE TO KISS ME?
she says yes, then do it, she says no then say, i didn't say i was going to let you, you just looked like you had something on your mind, (then shut up again), she says not here, grab her hand lead her to a back wall in the club/bar throw her against wall and kiss her, when she asks where are you taking me say you'll see, if she says anything else, say lets see and go for kiss,
now if she said no, shut up again, after saying i didn't say i was going to let you, you just looked like you had something on your mind, when she starts talking again, just keep looking at her lips then her eyes, over and over, and nodding, uh huh, ok, uh huh, and slowly get closer and closer to her, go for kiss without approval make sure you do it really slow, when she turns away or resists, just back off and laugh, and keep doing this until she either, lets you kiss her, or actively seeks to break report with you, (tells you to leave her alone or leaves herself) just keep having regular serious boring conversation here and let her lead it
compliance test for this step if you were reading was a kiss
STEP 6) HANDLE ASD
during this step if it is at all possible be sitting down with her with your bodies touching just vibing and getting comfortable with each other,
you are going to bring these things up,
you know what i think is unfair?, how if a guy likes a girl, he can just go over and talk to her, and if a girl likes a guy she has to hide it, i think the whole player/slut double standard is stupid, don't you agree?
(now discuss set a frame of non judgment iterate that there is no such thing as a slut it is just a weapon women use vs each other)
next is discretion, during whole sarge do not ever talk specifics about hooking up, you can tell the girl at this point,
LISTEN IF WE EVER DO ANYTHING TOGETHER CAN WE KEEP IT A SECRET?
finally from this point on, do not do anything in her head that directly verbalizes that you will be having sex, it will be assumed but not verbalized, when a girl begins to challenge you, do not re-frame as it is not happening, just don't directly verbalize that it is happening unless as a last resort and you want to throw a hail mary and risk not seeing her again in order to get sex on a long shot,
once these 2 topics of sluts don't exist players vs sluts, and discretion have been handled move to next step
STEP 7) PULL HER HOME
you are going to ask a girl counting up to 10 times, to come home with you, using statements of your intent that don't verbalize sex, but if called out you won't deny that is what you want, but you also won't verbalize that is what you want either, unless it is your last resort and on a fail you don't plan on number closing (i usually go for the hail mary, just tell them last chance lets go have sex at my house for the last attempt)
so statements look like,
I'M gonna go home and cook come spaghetti i want you to come with me, lets go!
(grab her hand and start pulling her towards door)
she says no,
say ohhh thats right i forgot i don't have any spaghetti anyways, fluff talk for about 5 min, then try again, try to keep a sexual undertone to the fluff talk and kino regularly (kino can be sexual at this point as well hitting the inner thighs and ass and panty line, but i tend to stay away from breasts make sure no one can see you sexually touching them)
keep making these statements and then re-iterating afterwards with your excuse to bring them home that the excuse does not exist,
for example, im going home to check on my goldfish, i want you to come with me, lets go!!
oh your right i don't have goldfish,
and last chance lets go to my home and have sex, is your 10th request and the hail mary (optional)
common token resistance to this step
IM NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU
handle: ok, we'll see, im very charming, lets go
(variate in between with don't worry we won't do anything you're not comfortable with)
I'LL ONLY GO IF YOU PROMISE WE WON'T HAVE SEX
handle:see above, or,NO BUT I WON'T PROMISE YOU THAT WE WILL HAVE SEX, LETS GO!! (variate the above variate that is in brackets to calm her down)
I CAN'T MY FRIENDS BLAH BLAH BLAH
handle:we will be quick ill have you back before they notice you're gone
(variate:k lets just go to my car to cook spaghetti)
when you get her home, start making out immediately, do not logically engage anything she says just agree and continue making out and touching her more sexually and more sexually, taking off her clothes etc,
if you hear the words no, stop, don't, or any indication she wants you to stop,
you are going to freeze her out,
say its ok, lets just watch tv, we can just spend time together, this is too quick, what are you doing next wed we can just set up a date,
DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, GET ANGRY/REACTIVE AT ALL, if she thinks your made/ having a reaction you are fucked, you are trying to set the vibe that you are sweet and trying to comfort her, sex is not important, when she tries to re-initiate make out, get her to pass the point you were stuck at, if it is bra, say, ok ill make out with you, only if you take off your bra 1st, if panties replace word bra with panties, if it is penetration, say only if you let me inside you,
next if she will not make out as soon as you get her home, sit her down, watch tv, start kino, get more and more sexual with it, and try to re-initiate make out, 2 times, (this makes 3 since you tried to go straight to make out as soon as you got in)
that doesn't work ask for a blowjob, (spend about 5 minutes trying to convince her, common just a quick one, etc. what you don't wanna see it? etc.)
that doesn't work ask her if you can get a handjob don't try to convince on this one, it is yes or no,
after this, just say ok, guess we will just have a good old fashion, t.v. watching session, whats your favorite show, just keep things non sexual, give her 1 hour to initiate something herself, if nothing is initiated, kick her out of your house, with some sort of excuse, like well i have to get to bed, i have work tomorrow, it was so great meeting you, if she asks to leave let her (obviously)
AND THAT IS MY AFC GUIDE TO THE SNL
RUFF AROUND THE EDGES BUT THAT SHOULD GET YOU GUYS STARTED,
GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY BANGING
if at any stage you can not reach a goal without it blowing the whole mission, just try to set up another time and place to meet, if she agrees, naturally the number comes next, and move on to a new target, these are your objectives,