Hi, AFC here, complete noob to PUA but i have a question before i really get started.

A little background first, the past 2 months for me have been completely shit, i mean the worst of my life... I've thought of ending it 3 times now, thankfully a mental fortitude has stopped me turning thoughts into actions.
A brief rundown of the last 2 months involved my first gf dumping me (aquired via non PUA methods, i'm 23) 5 days after my grandad and godfather died, within a week i had lost my job and my 3 year old HDD destoryed itself. things we shit for a few week until 2 fridays ago 2 work pals got in a car crash after dropping their kids to school. The husband died the next day, the wife.. who's pregnent, was 30 minutes without air and is still in a coma. Monday just gone, my granmother and godmother died.

Its not wednesday... the week isn't over yet...

Of all the amazing oppertunities PUA has to offer.. turning zeros to heros, AFC to AMOG's, average Joes to laying HB10's... i can't find a single postive routine to get an ex back. Sure i have one-itis, i don't deny it. Shes invaded my dreams, my thoughts and i avoid areas of town in case i see her. I got very upset last time i saw her in the club when she blanked me (the official reason she dumpped me was a stupid reason, i reckon it was over my give the "ILY" spiel, first time mistake eh?). I gave her space and then did the drunken text thing, not over proud of that but i said what i really wanted to say. I know things will never be the same and its not an ego or a pride issue, for me anyway.. I just want to fix 1 thing out of the whole cluster fuck i find myself in, 1 thing i want to redeem. I don't want to think back in years time and feel this period was shit and associate it with her. She was the first girl to accept me and date me for who i was. She has no idea what she means to me.

Has anyone in the history of PUA ever bit the bullet and gone after and successfully gotten his girl back... i hear storys of pure dicks getting his HB back but i honestly can't see how this works

It is possible to do, but honestly I wouldnt advise it.

Take some time to get your life back on track, I know its hard to see at the moment but the biggest change learning game gives to people is inner game. Start hitting the gym, or if that isnt an option, just work out at home using bodyweight exercises. Excercise is such a strong way to fight depression, I speak from a lot of years of personal experience btw.

Focus on making yourself a better person, someone who you have always wanted to be, work on your friendships, meet new people. If you really want this girl back, (I'm not sure why you would, she doesnt sound particulalry nice), thats the way to do it.

Focus on being the best person you can be, and you really will transform every aspect of your life, Ive been there before.

Good luck to you.

I apologise for the double post but I wanted to share something someone shared with me a long time ago. "No one can make you happy, you have to be happy in yourself first". Dont go chasing after this girl pinning all your hopes on this girl, at the end of the day, the only person you can rely on is yourself.

honestly honestly honestly you need to move on.
if you want, look at my recent posts (probably the last 2 or 3 months) i was told time and time again to move on from my ex but i didnt want to hear it. now that i have moved on i know its the best thing for me. i know that it is hard to believe and you will say to yourself "i am different" but seriously. believe me.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms

After reading your post I came to conclusion, you think by getting your ex back all the problems, you have will disappear as soon you have your ex, this is so fucking wrong, it maybe can ease the pain, but in the end of the day life still sucks… the problems won’t go away. Plus you will have ex that will have all control she want about you, this is so dooming.


And stop putting her on pedestal she DUMP YOU FOR A STUPID REASON. I don’t care if she took your virginity, or is the best person in the world.

She ended for a reason… live it, you can get her back but if you are still the same person 2 months ago, do you think in about a few months or weeks she wont kick your ass to the curb. Being naïve??

You are asking for a routine… there isn’t any, you cant snap your fingers and all becomes well but there is a winning formula to win your ex back want to hear it… or just too lazy, that you prefer feeling sorry for you ( I can understand you are going in rough time I been there) but you need to get your ass, and start living.

Winning formula to get your ex back is to improve your self, how do you that?

Accept that all girls are equally, all love sex, all love being manipulative, and the only joy the have is seeing a man in their knees asking for forgiveness. Your girl is no different.

Also accept that your ex is looking for someone to hook up.

Hobby , I would suggest taking martial’s arts, they will teach things … not only to defend yourself which is a plus since girls love being protected and this will transpire to others around you

Gym, or run every day (this will also produce endorphins, that will make more healthy and happy), and eat healthy, stop with the junk food.

Go out I mean serious. Call friends, try not be alone.

If you bump in to her be polite, stop chasing her try to be an actor, who part is that your ex doesn’t have any control over you, she doesn’t even affect you.

I will gave you a simple task everytime you see your g/f or she ask you don’t be her doggy, think the opposite. If she is telling lets go for coffee and you wanna go tell her sorry but cant. SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU REMEMBER THIS

You have decision to make or you use what this forum has to offer, going out and meeting new girls and failing to a point you are going to succeed, and this will improve your confidence. This will change your life, when you start having the competence to do it at least well. You can use what you learn and game your ex.

Ok you might not seeing the point of gaming other girls because all you want is her… the problem is THE CURRENT YOU is not enough for her, or you improve your PUA SKILLS , and your inner game, or you wont succeed .

Maybe in one month or two months or three months your transitition of becoming something better will be enough to impress , where will you show her you are not the same guy, believe me it will be attractive for her. If in 2\3 months and after had success with women but also success in your life(getting your life back in track like samurai49 said) and you still have the same feelings go ahead, but go with your brain not your heart.

Try to remember this ever seen a movie, where the girl bump in to there old ex(who was sloppy, lazy, needy, and tottally afc), but now they see NOT A BOY A MAN, well dressed, rich, with confidence... what ussualy happens? atraction... simple as that.


They should do a stick what to do in case of g/f ending, because the average of man coming here asking for this is astronomical incluiding me a time ago

Dude ... my advice to you is:

You clearly see this girl as being the best thing that ever happened to you . Why ? Because she was 'the first to accept you as you are' ?

Look man , everyone has problems but this whole 'accepting me as I am' is bullshit. Let me ask you a simple question : Do YOU love yourself ? Do you feel you're the best you can be ? be honest with yourself when awnswering this because if you're not happy with yourself , if YOU don't love who you are , how the hell can anyone else love you ?

Pick yourself up , dust yourself off and get yo shit together.And what's that shit about you thinking of ending your life ? That's what cowards do.Is that what you want for yourself ? or would you rather die or age knowing that your life actually meant something not only for you but for the great family you'd have by then ?You don't get any fcking second chances.

And yeah, you can have that great life but YOU have to be the one building it. And guess what ? You have all the tools you need here,on this very forum.


Remember,in the big picture PUA is NOT about picking up women,that's just the bonus.

There is no formula in winning a girl back except for make her fucking jealous. And even then there's no guarantee
Do not believe lines and routines will get you the girls. You will. When you improve yourself and your general attitude in the presence of women.

When i talked about winning formula, is winning formula for you if your ex picked that about you, its a bonus , if not she is the one losing.

We are talking life here ofc there is no guarantees I think everyone has the mental capacity to see this.

Thanks for the advice so far, sorry i haven't been active, just reading... burying my Gran today

I'm at a loss though. I don't believe fixing this one relationship will make my life 100% better over night, and i still maintain this isn't an ego or pride issue. But i just want that feeling of being able to fix something, anything!

I still have incredably strong feelings for this girl. But i hate the game plan of "shut up, get better, be awesome and she'll come back" This isn't hollywood, i know it doesn't work like that.

I know that what falls on our lap in life isn't apprechiated, life throws what we want close by so we can work to get it. It isn't impossible, it can't be, its just out of reach. It's my "decision" to have one-itis for this girl.

Damnit... Where's Mystery when i need him? The one thing i haven't seen him speak or write about is getting back with a one-itis

Mystery touches on the subject and essentially shares the sentiments of everyone on this forum "It's easier to start from the ground up than to fix something that went wrong."

Going through a break up is a truly awful thing and there is genuine grief there because you lost something that made you so happy, that takes time to recover from. You need to come to terms with all the terrible things that have happened to you before you can start effectively gaming girls.

Getting an ex back is hard and even then it's not a good idea. She's your ex for a reason and it most likely still wouldn't work the second time around. Also, it's your first relationship, this will hurt the most but I GUARANTEE in a few months or a year you'll be gaming new girls and won't be thinking about her or hurting.

I was so heartbroken after my first relationship broke down last year, I was convinced she was the one and we had such a connection and meant everything to each other. Now I think about her and genuinely wonder what I ever saw in her.

You just need to accept that its over, stop texting her or contacting her and begin rebuilding your life. If you continue to let her control your happiness and act needy toward her you will just push her further away.

I don't want easy... Nothing worth having is easy man. People keep telling me you deserve better. This infuriates me, i don't want better!

I have no trouble gaming others. I've laid once and k-closed a few since the break but its not as forfilling as what i had. I just want to fix what has broken :'( I don't know how to phrases this less bluntly but "i just want to feel her again" if you get me? All i've gotten since the break is the cold shoulder and "distance"ness. I miss her smile and warmth, her friendliness and her wicked sense of humour. I'm under no illusion that she can't be "the one", i knew my first would end, but not like this... i'm not a bad person, i didn't deserve this

I haven't been in contact since 2 weeks after the break (a drunken night i saw her in the club and text her after, it did alot more damage to me than good (Read:Coldness)), yet she still has an iron grip on my feelings.
I dream about her, shes the first thing i've thought about waking up for the last 2 months, i double take when i think i see her in every person thats her size/height... its driving me insane

Just a bit of closure for me and everyone involved in this thread. Sorry for the Rez

It turns out she saw someone else she liked at work, gave me the "i miss being single" talk, dumped me at the first oppertunity (me hanging up on her) and at her birthday 2 weeks later got with him. As of 2 weeks ago they are in a relationship.

I was blindsided, completely. Maybe he did the Straw man on me? Whatever it was, i came second and lost the girl i really cared for.

Nothing more can be said about it

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Got tips to get me out of the friendzone?
Let me know!
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Silence is a best friend that never betrays